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  1. #1
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    Feb. 17, 2010
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    Question ATTENTION: Horse Buyers

    To stereotype a bit this morning this is a general question for all you horse buyers out there. Why is it that when you try out a horse, he goes perfect you say you will call the next day. More often then not, you don't.

    It takes two seconds to pick up the phone and say, "Hey, Bob. Thanks so much for showing Fluffy to us yesterday. Unfortunatly, he's just not the horse we are looking for."

    It's that simple. As a seller, it's extremely frustrating to me when potential buyers do this. It irritates me they don't even have the common courtesy to pick up the phone and call. Like they said they will. It doesn't hurt my feelings if you don't buy the horse. It's just the right thing to do. IMO.

    I know it is what it is....an with being in the horse buying/selling business for a long time I should just get over it...but it really irks me.

    Ok. Rant over....



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Oct. 25, 2005
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    1,758

    Cool Bob...

    It's the "no responsibility" generation that we have created. Good manners have fallen by the wayside. It's pretty sad actually.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar. 31, 2006
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    290

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    ^ Yep.

    Try having a party with all the trimmings, invite folks by mailing invitations with an RSVP to their homes and count the number of people that actually make the effort to respond.

    ETA - oh yeah, they show up, they just don't tell you that they are coming...



  4. #4
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    paintjumper, you totally hit the nail on the head. The saddest part of it is these grown men and women are older than me. I am the one complaining about their bad manners.

    BellaLuna, thats horrible. I feel your pain though. When I had my babyshower earlier this year, no one RSVP'd. It was horrible. Thank God my mother was an awesome hostess and made it work....



  5. #5
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    Nov. 4, 2003
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    Douglasville, Georgia
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    Quote Originally Posted by BellaLuna View Post
    ^ Yep.

    Try having a party with all the trimmings, invite folks by mailing invitations with an RSVP to their homes and count the number of people that actually make the effort to respond.

    ETA - oh yeah, they show up, they just don't tell you that they are coming...

    Or worse you do allll that, buy all the food, cook till you drop and then NO ONE (or only 1 - 2) show up.

    Just another indication that common courtesy is no longer common.
    <>< Sorrow Looks Back. Worry Looks Around. Faith Looks Up! -- Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may be given a cactus, but you don't have to sit on it.



  6. #6
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    Sep. 7, 2009
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    Lexington, KY
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    Default

    I don't think anyone knows what RSVP means anymore.



  7. #7
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    Feb. 6, 2003
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    If it's not lack of manners...it's lack of a spine.
    These days more and more people are "non confrontational" because either they lack backbone or they're too used to never actually talking to people. (IM, texting, FB, email, voice message, etc)
    Either way they just can't figure out a way to say "no thanks" and despite them not wanting to have to say no they're being very rude.

    And nope, nobody seems to RSVP anymore.
    You jump in the saddle,
    Hold onto the bridle!
    Jump in the line!
    ...Belefonte



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Feb. 16, 2003
    Location
    MI USA
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    I hear that "We like him, will call you" with EVERY tire kicker when we sell horses. They don't want to hurt your feelings, just a figure of speech. I totally disregard it, do NOT ever wait for a call. If person DOES call back about horse, then it is a pleasant surprise!

    Unless a person gives me a large, non-refundable deposit, that sale horse is for sale to the first person who gives me the price.

    If I waited on all those who say they will call, horse would never sell. So my sale horse goes out with every person who comes to look, same terms to everyone. No holds ever, not even overnight. Again, with money in hand, then horse is sold, not held. He might sit in the barn awaiting a weekend pick-up time, but he is not mine anymore!

    The no return call has been EXTREMELY common since I ever knew about buying and selling horses, cheap or expensive. No one held them without a deposit. First money to seller, gets the horse. Not expecting a call back, takes stress off you. I figure the remark is just a figure of speech, like "How are you?" in meeting a person. The greeter doesn't REALLY want your health history!! These tire-kickers are just out for a free ride or don't want to list WHY they don't care for your animal, to prevent a bad parting as they leave.



  9. #9
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    Feb. 17, 2010
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    Purcellville, VA
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    Quote Originally Posted by goodhors View Post
    I hear that "We like him, will call you" with EVERY tire kicker when we sell horses. I totally disregard it, do NOT ever wait for a call. If person DOES call back about horse, then it is a pleasant surprise!

    Unless a person gives me a large, non-refundable deposit, that sale horse is for sale to the first person who gives me the price.

    If I waited on all those who say they will call, horse would never sell. So my sale horse goes out with every person who comes to look, same terms to everyone. No holds ever, not even overnight. Again, with money in hand, then horse is sold, not held. He might sit in the barn awaiting a weekend pick-up time, but he is not mine anymore!

    The no return call has been EXTREMELY common since I ever knew about buying and selling horses, cheap or expensive. No one held them without a deposit. First money to seller, gets the horse. Not expecting a call back, takes stress off you, I figure the remark is just a figure of speech, like "How are you?" in meeting a person. The greeter doesn't REALLY want your health history!!
    Oh, I definitely don't wait for a call.

    Actually, I let it go in one ear and out the other when they promise one. It's just frustrating they even say anything!



  10. #10
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    Nov. 18, 2001
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    50/50 USA/Canada!
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    I had some people from another state call me about my horse for sale. SO interested. Had me make specific videos with pro on horse, with a teenager on horse, "We love love love him and we'll call you on Monday - at a horse show this wkend".

    Nothing.

    At least send me an email and say "thanks but we decided not to go with your horse". Rude.



  11. #11
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    Sep. 25, 2005
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    Quote Originally Posted by sar2008 View Post

    It takes two seconds to pick up the phone and say, "Hey, Bob. Thanks so much for showing Fluffy to us yesterday. Unfortunatly, he's just not the horse we are looking for."
    Funny you should ask this because I'm in this exact situation right now. Agreed to take an Arab mare sight unseen based on photos and description. When she was delivered to me, she was NOT what I had bargained for. She is swaybacked, and the owner informed me she didn't intend to sign over the horse's papers because she wants to retain legal ownership. Now on email, and phone the woman told me that if at ANY time the mare doesn't work out, that she wants her back. The mare is NOT to be sold or given away. The mare to come back to HER. PERIOD. Ok, no problem, I completely understand.

    So I told the woman - the horse and the situation is not going to work out, please take her back. She refused. I explained to her why the horse won't work out - the back issue is major, and the ownership issue is just plain crazy.

    It turned into a war with the woman insulting my intelligence, telling me I don't the first thing about XYZ Arabian bloodline because if I did, I would know that EVERY horse in this bloodline has this back conformation, she told me how offended she was that she was going to trust me with this sacred bloodline and then I go and disrespect the mare's breeding by daring to criticize her swayback. She was rude, condescending, hateful, and just flat nasty on the phone when I told her that I intend to return the mare to her because this is not going to work.

    She was so ridiculously nasty that I had to put a stop payment on my check and inform the woman "I am bringing the mare back to your farm on X day, and that's that. The check is canceled and I'm sorry it had to come to this, but it did." She informed me she won't be home that day that I am bringing the mare back. Well, that's fine. The horse will be there when she gets home.

    So based on my experience, I will be extremely cautious and nervous about telling a seller "Your horse won't work for me because.............." I don't want to take that kind of verbal abuse again from a seller because they get highly offended that I think their horse has XYZ problem, or won't work because of........fill in the blank.

    It is extremely uncomfortable to look a seller in the eye and say "Well, thanks for your time in showing me Fluffy but he has crooked legs and you're asking too much money." I am not saying a buyer should lie and say "Thanks, he's great, I'll call you." But I am saying that having just gone through this - it is very difficult to tell a person all the things you see wrong with their horse. Some people undoubtedly just try to avoid that uncomfortable confrontation.



  12. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Auventera Two View Post
    So based on my experience, I will be extremely cautious and nervous about telling a seller "Your horse won't work for me because.............." I don't want to take that kind of verbal abuse again from a seller because they get highly offended that I think their horse has XYZ problem, or won't work because of........fill in the blank.

    It is extremely uncomfortable to look a seller in the eye and say "Well, thanks for your time in showing me Fluffy but he has crooked legs and you're asking too much money." I am not saying a buyer should lie and say "Thanks, he's great, I'll call you." But I am saying that having just gone through this - it is very difficult to tell a person all the things you see wrong with their horse. Some people undoubtedly just try to avoid that uncomfortable confrontation.
    You don't have to give a reason. That leaves room for disagreement.

    Just leave it at "Your horse won't work for me." Period.



  13. #13
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    Jan. 17, 2008
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    So I got called a few names and accused of burning bridges. Why? I wanted to see the horse a second time before dropping $ on a ppe. Seller accused me of ignoring her. I resent all of the emails I had sent to the seller, to which seller said "Oh there is no way you sent those. I would have got them".
    As if I made up the time stamps from my server?

    I have had to email people when they sent me pics of their horse and say "No thanks".

    I just put a deposit on a horse. The whole dealing was easy easy, the sellers awesome, easy to get ahold of and speak to. Honest.

    If I come out and try the a sale horse, I pretty much know if I want the horse by the time I get one foot in the stirrup.

    Sorry you're having a bad experience, but it doesnt suck any less as a buyer. It's absolutley possible for the SELLER not the HORSE to blow a sale. The aforementioned seller who was nasty...well, I told her that SHE blew it and to consider me not interested. Which was unfortunate, her horse was a doll.



  14. #14
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    Oct. 1, 2010
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    I think it has to do with discomfort-- potential buyers want to avoid the potential conflict/confrontation of saying "no," so they just don't call. But you're absolutely correct; it is rude, even if that's not necessarily the intention. I recently purchased a horse, and I did bite the bullet and make those "thanks, but no thanks" calls and e-mails, especially since there were two other horses I was seriously considering.

    As for the RSVP phenomenon, we had guests show up unannounced to my sister's $150-per-plate wedding reception. (Not only did they not return the RSVP card, they didn't bother to return follow-up phone calls two weeks before the wedding.) Fortunately, the hall was prepared for a few extra guests, but one non-RSVPer got huffy that she wasn't on the seating chart and actually said to my mom, "Well, I didn't think I needed to bother with the formality, you should have known I'd be coming!"



  15. #15
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    Feb. 17, 2010
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    Purcellville, VA
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    Quote Originally Posted by LittleblackMorgan View Post
    So I got called a few names and accused of burning bridges. Why? I wanted to see the horse a second time before dropping $ on a ppe. Seller accused me of ignoring her. I resent all of the emails I had sent to the seller, to which seller said "Oh there is no way you sent those. I would have got them".
    As if I made up the time stamps from my server?

    I have had to email people when they sent me pics of their horse and say "No thanks".

    I just put a deposit on a horse. The whole dealing was easy easy, the sellers awesome, easy to get ahold of and speak to. Honest.

    If I come out and try the a sale horse, I pretty much know if I want the horse by the time I get one foot in the stirrup.

    Sorry you're having a bad experience, but it doesnt suck any less as a buyer. It's absolutley possible for the SELLER not the HORSE to blow a sale. The aforementioned seller who was nasty...well, I told her that SHE blew it and to consider me not interested. Which was unfortunate, her horse was a doll.
    Thats also unfortunate for you as well. It sucks you had that experience with a seller. I assure you. I am the least nastiest (if there is such a word) horsey selling person this side of the Mason Dixon Line And Kudos to you for actually e-mailing back "no thanks." That would make a huge impression for me. Even if you weren't interested.

    Also, it's not really one bad experience. It's LOTS of bad experiences. I just don't understand how people can be so rude. (Note: I would never tell them that because I am not that person, I am just venting here on COTH) I am like the seller you describe. Friendly, super open with all vet records about all my horses, very easy to get a hold of (BB's are wonderful) and very personable. I just don't get it.

    ETA: The person you worked with (the nasty one) isn't the norm. She's the exception. I don't know ANYONE that would make such accusations...



  16. #16
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    Feb. 17, 2010
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    Quote Originally Posted by bonsoir View Post
    I recently purchased a horse, and I did bite the bullet and make those "thanks, but no thanks" calls and e-mails, especially since there were two other horses I was seriously considering.
    YAY!! THREE CHEERS FOR BONSOIR!!!!

    Maybe you can get others to jump on the bandwagon as well



  17. #17
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    Jan. 17, 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by sar2008 View Post
    Thats also unfortunate for you as well. It sucks you had that experience with a seller. I assure you. I am the least nastiest (if there is such a word) horsey selling person this side of the Mason Dixon Line And Kudos to you for actually e-mailing back "no thanks." That would make a huge impression for me. Even if you weren't interested.

    Also, it's not really one bad experience. It's LOTS of bad experiences. I just don't understand how people can be so rude. (Note: I would never tell them that because I am not that person, I am just venting here on COTH) I am like the seller you describe. Friendly, super open with all vet records about all my horses, very easy to get a hold of (BB's are wonderful) and very personable. I just don't get it.

    ETA: The person you worked with (the nasty one) isn't the norm. She's the exception. I don't know ANYONE that would make such accusations...
    yeah, it was "enlightening" to say the least. And the first time I tried the horse, I offered a deposit on the spot. She declined. Too bad, so sad.

    OTOH, I love it when I have a few emails exchanged, ask some pointed questions and POOF there goes the seller? Just as I email/call and politely decline, it would nice to get an email that says "I've sold Blahblah. Good luck in your search".

    Now that I have put over 25% down on the mare I've fallen for, I'm sure all those non-responsive sellers will respond. Such is life...things happen the way they are supposed to.

    The nasty seller has since RAISED the price of the horse by 25% and lists the horse as solid WT. Uh, no. Not even. The horse is not solid anything.



  18. #18
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    Apr. 5, 2003
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    Houston, Texas
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    I don't think it is rudeness so much as avoidance. People tell a white lie to avoid telling the truth about the horse. I don't agree with this a simple I'm sorry he doesnt work for me should be enough.



  19. #19
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    Sep. 2, 2008
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    Because some sellers turn nasty when you say you are no longer interested in their horse. They seem to take it personally.



  20. #20
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    Aug. 23, 2009
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    Long Island, NY
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    People are strange.

    In the few months my horse has been up for sale, I've encountered LOTS of folks like the ones described here. Out of all the try outs, I got a whopping ONE phonecall, saying "thank you, he's a beautiful horse but he's not really a good fit for my student" and that was from a FEI level trainer.

    I've also had more than my fair share of no-shows: one woman called me from her car on her way to try my horse, saying she got an emergency call from work and would have to turn around, but will call to reschedule.
    Never heard from her again.

    I did, however get one rather unique "follow up" email.
    A couple of months after our first exchange of email, I was told that a woman showed up at the barn, unannounced and was hanging out with my horse.
    She emailed me two days later, saying "I really can't afford to buy him ... but he was so cute, putting his head on my shoulder when I walked into his stall. Would it be OK if I came by occasionally to give him treats?"

    My horse has a stalker.
    ... It don't mean a thing if it ain't got that Shwung



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