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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2005
    Location
    washington state
    Posts
    10,140

    Default The guy that likes you that you DON'T like.

    Ugh. Well, now I have two topics, this is a very busy Off Topic weekend for me LOL!!

    I have a guy who seems to have developed a crush on me and I most definitely don't feel the same way back

    He has never come out and said it so I can't turn him down or say I am not interested! Mainly, he hovers. And follows. And scouts out where my purse is and sits next to it. I have actually just left my purse for over an hour because of it. He goes to my church and he is involved in group activities I am twice a week. He is Always. There.

    Gah! I also adore his parents so don't want to be too rude, know what I mean?
    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar. 3, 2007
    Location
    North-Central IL
    Posts
    5,631

    Default

    Ignore. I've had a couple like this and if you give them any attention whatsoever they'll keep it up. Just act like you can't even see him. Don't make eye contact and if he tries to strike up a conversation and is persistant about it pretend like you have so much going on in your head and can't concentrate on what he's saying and dismiss yourself. That way you lose your appeal but don't end up in an awkward conversation or hurting feelings.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb. 6, 2003
    Location
    NorthEast
    Posts
    24,862

    Default

    Make yourself less attractive.
    Scratch places, pick your nose and pass gas when he's around.
    He'll leave you alone.
    You jump in the saddle,
    Hold onto the bridle!
    Jump in the line!
    ...Belefonte



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr. 29, 2006
    Posts
    3,656

    Default

    Mine is one of my best friends in the world and I wish to pieces that I felt *that way* about him but I just don't. 23 years.



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Mar. 1, 2003
    Location
    Happily in Canada
    Posts
    5,172

    Default

    And why do these guys outnumber 2:1 guys that you feel mutual interest in?
    Blugal

    You never know what kind of obsessive compulsive crazy person you are until another person imitates your behaviour at a three-day. --Gry2Yng



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2005
    Location
    washington state
    Posts
    10,140

    Default

    I have been, Mosey. No eye contact, no conversation, etc. Can you tell me how long until he gives up!!?!??
    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar. 3, 2007
    Location
    North-Central IL
    Posts
    5,631

    Default

    Hmmm. Assuming he's not 'new' to the groups you go to and has kind of latched onto you as the only one he knows... It's hard to tell. Could be weeks. If it gets uncomfortable-er you could ask him to please stop following you as it makes you uncomfortable. Otherwise, meh. Some are more persistant than others.



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug. 2, 2004
    Location
    Whidbey Is, Wash.
    Posts
    10,521

    Default

    He may never give up. You have a couple options. First of all, at your age, it's creepy (not saying you're old, but you guys obviously aren't awkward teenagers, right?). Tell him straight out to stop hovering because it's annoying. Or be less direct but at the same time not letting him dictate YOUR actions, like: "um, hey Mike...uh, yeah, I need my purse, excuse me <grab purse>" and walk off. Or, you love his parents, maybe ask them the deal? Has he ever been married, had a girlfriend? If he's the same age as you, he's got some social ineptitude that is borderline personality disorder, IMO.
    COTH's official mini-donk enabler

    "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2005
    Location
    washington state
    Posts
    10,140

    Default

    Dang, Jenners, how did you know I am almost eligible for the Jack Benny classes LOL!!!???

    I have no idea if he has ever had a girlfriend, etc, I don't talk to him more than I have to. It does get worse though. I think he had some issues with tumors that causes some delayed reactions? He is healthy, just had them removed a while ago, etc. So....now I feel like I am being mean! But I am not up for the sympathy hang out or date or anything. NO WAY.
    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Apr. 4, 2006
    Location
    An American Living In Ireland
    Posts
    5,671

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by MistyBlue View Post
    Make yourself less attractive.
    Scratch places, pick your nose and pass gas when he's around.
    He'll leave you alone.
    This so works.

    Misty Blue you just have the best answers!

    Terri
    COTH, keeping popcorn growers in business for years.

    "I need your grace to remind me to find my own." Snow Patrol-Chasing Cars. This line reminds me why I have horses.



  11. #11
    Join Date
    May. 8, 2010
    Posts
    104

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by TheJenners View Post
    "um, hey Mike...uh, yeah, I need my purse, excuse me <grab purse>"
    This, done in the best imitation of the boss "Lumbergh's" voice ofrom the classic movie Office Space. Kidding. But it's what I pictured when I read it.

    No advice but it sounds obnoxious at best.



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Mar. 6, 2002
    Location
    Oregon
    Posts
    6,116

    Default

    If you don't want to outright confront him to make it clear...

    I'd suggest striking up a conversation about your 'boyfriend', or even just a guy you like/have been dating (feel free to make one up, if necessary). Find a way to work it into the conversation naturally - maybe even while you're talking to his parents?

    That's the best I can do, for getting rid of him without actually getting rid of him. Maybe he'll get the hint.

    ETA: If you need someone to come up and lay the smackdown on him, I have a pretty flexible schedule.
    What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what
    lies with in us. - Emerson



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2005
    Location
    washington state
    Posts
    10,140

    Default

    I like your idea, Heinz!
    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Aug. 2, 2004
    Location
    Whidbey Is, Wash.
    Posts
    10,521

    Default

    Your birthday is in your profile. I checked, because if you guys were younger, I'd sic his parents or your parents on him. But you aren't, LOL.
    COTH's official mini-donk enabler

    "I am all for reaching out, but in some situations it needs to be done with a rolled up news paper." Alagirl



  15. #15
    Join Date
    May. 2, 2010
    Posts
    27

    Default

    I feel I should jump in as a man on this issue...

    I have been on the other end of this situation before. My best advice is if you aren't interested be clear, upfront and quick about it! Nothing hurts more than working up the courage over a long period of time to ask the nice woman at church out and having them say no.

    Ok, almost nothing...being best friends for 12 years, dating briefly in year 4, she ended it, then I was at her wedding recently. Worst pain I've ever felt, and that includes being pulled through a manure spreader by a loose jacket once!
    Trakehner breeder and eventer!



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2005
    Location
    washington state
    Posts
    10,140

    Default

    Jenners I thought maybe you had contacts in the Harbor...Gig, not Oak

    TEG, ouch! Sorry to hear that. Why did you go to the wedding? Because of the friendship?
    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.



  17. #17
    Join Date
    May. 2, 2010
    Posts
    27

    Default

    Yep, still best friends...and her husband is a nice guy so I can't hate him!
    Trakehner breeder and eventer!



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2005
    Location
    washington state
    Posts
    10,140

    Default

    Ouch!!
    The Knotted Pony

    Proud and upstanding member of the Snort and Blow Clique.



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Jan. 31, 2003
    Posts
    18,472

    Default

    Ha! Even worse but luckily not me! My now ex working students own MOTHER tried to hook her up with a guy who looks like the wolf man. She made it clear she wasn't interested but - perhaps because he had parental support?!!! - he wouldn't quit. Years later, he still occasionally resurfaces. Creepy doesn't begin to describe him! Not to mention he was married AND 15 plus years older.... Aggghhhhhh, its just too awful to think your own mother would do that to you!
    "Kindness is free" ~ Eurofoal
    ---
    The CoTH CYA - please consult w/your veterinarian under any and all circumstances.



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jan. 4, 2007
    Location
    TX
    Posts
    45,571

    Default

    Don't complain too much, it could be worse.

    This fellow and I were leaders in the scouts.
    I guess he didn't notice I already had a serious BF and kept following me around.
    I ignored him, so one day he went to our home and asked, get this, my FATHER for my hand, all formal.

    My father, not knowing what to say, asked if he had talked to me about this and the fellow responded "no, because I know she will do what you say".

    My father told him to go talk to me first and when he did, I said sorry, I already have a BF, he said "too bad, I had made this real neat hunting knife with rare wood inlays just for you".

    I thanked him and told him I was not going to need one anyway, because I was quitting the scouts shortly.

    The whole was like a scene of the theater of the absurd.



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