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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun. 10, 2001
    Location
    Rising Sun, Maryland, USA
    Posts
    5,122

    Default Any tips on surviving toddlerhood-- kiddo's not mine

    In July, kiddo turned two... the day after the terrible twos started. He still can be a well behaved, charming young lad at times. But he can also be a "NO!!" temper tantrum throwing beast. Going to the supermarket is OH so much fun... he alternates between throwing lay-down-on-the-ground-and-scream temper tantrums and being sweet and charming by helping me scan the groceries or carrying the basket. I swear if adults acted like this they'd be called crazy, but it's considered perfectly normal behavior for two year olds.

    Typically, I ignore his temper tantrums and tell him patiently that Mommy has no sympathy, the world doesn't revolve around him and that he needs to get over himself. If I'm at home, I'll often just walk away. Eventually he stops.

    I'm also trying a new technique.... I'll pick him up and hold him close to me and I'll very quietly and calmly tell him to breathe, relax, calm down, and use his words. Then I'll sit him back down. A lot of times this seems to work and so far he's not having the fit to get picked up and held. In general he's not super snuggly.

    Going to a store and actually browsing/shopping is next to impossible. Some days I wish I could become a hermit and order everything exclusively off of the internet.

    He's also in the lovely throwing stage, so often toys, sippy cups, and food, that are brought to entertain him eventually become tossed. Also fun.

    I'm sure it is difficult being a toddler... wanting that independence and freedom, but not having the coordination, speech and overall ability to always do what you want how and when you want it. Somebody referred to the terrible twos as the 1st adolescence and I can totally see it! I ask how long terrible twos last and I usually get an evil laugh followed by... three is even more fun or "Ill let you know when it ends (and their kid is 12)"

    I do know that naps and not being hungry makes life a lot more pleasant.

    Usually, he listens well and likes to help and loves books and animals. Compared to many boys, he's gentle and has a longer attention span than most two year olds. Compared to a few of my friends kids, he's a dream... I don't know how they deal with it! I just get frustrated at the bad moments and it's very stressful on me to deal with less than ideal behavior in public. I don't have the mommy experience to know all of the mommy tricks. He also has a tendency to give others no trouble but his ugly side comes out with me. I also have the added stress that I have to do this alone with little support. I have a sitter who watches him while I work, but she's usually busy other times and I don't really have the money to spend. Plus, my philosophy is that he has to learn to behave in public. My family is great, but they live hours away. My husband, kiddo's father was the world's best dad, but parenting from Heaven isn't quite possible.

    I try very hard to be consistent with him and keep from spoiling him... pretty much like horses...

    So... does anybody have any clues on how to survive toddlerhood and keep your sanity?
    http://www.leakycreek.com/
    http://leakycreek.wordpress.com/ Rainbows & Mourning Doves Blog
    John P. Smith II 1973-2009 Love Always
    Father, Husband, Friend, Firefighter- Cancer Sucks- Cure Melanoma



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec. 12, 2004
    Location
    Massachusetts
    Posts
    6,402

    Default

    No child advice, because I'm only 20 and a child-hater to boot.

    BUT, in regards to the babysitting thing, lemme share an example of something that may work for you:

    My friend, also a horse person with her own horse, was looking for a boarding barn, but didn't necessarily have the funds to spend on one. So she found a situation where the poor Barn Owner had two boys under the age of 4, and desperately needed someone to watch them while she attempted to get some stuff done around the farm. Although money was an issue for her, too. So the deal was: my friend would receive some (or most) of her board free, and be responsible for watching the two boys a certain number of hours a week.

    Any chance you have an empty stall and could work something like that out? Or even just offer some ride time or a "free lease" of sorts, in exchange for some childcare?



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct. 22, 2003
    Posts
    1,772

    Default

    Not a mom, but a nanny in the past.

    He's TWO. He'll grow out of it. You want things from him (self restraint being one of them) that his little brain can't give you. Sometimes he's going to be totally irrational. He's TWO. Trying to teach him he "has to behave in public" probably just isn't something he can learn at this point and probably is a very unfair expectation. He's TWO.

    As for the throwing, let him throw it. My response (which I learned from my mum) was stuff like food was picked up, shown to the toddler with an "Ewww, yucky, it's been on the floor!" and thrown away (in sight of little one). Stuff like sippy cups and what not picked up and put out of reach. The whole "fetch game" lost a lot of appeal quickly, although was usually repeated with each new person the baby met.

    Just ride the wave. You'll get your life back in oh... 20 years? LOL.
    "The nice thing about memories is the good ones are stronger and linger longer than the bad and we sure have some incredibly good memories." - EverythingButWings



  4. #4
    Join Date
    May. 21, 2004
    Location
    N. TX...just N.East of paradise...
    Posts
    2,026

    Default

    MK, this year was a godsend to me....he's in SCHOOL!!!!

    Mine was never that stereotypical, he was easy, and I thank him every day for that. I was the uncreative mom, more worried about trying to find a way to contribute to the household (stay at home) alot, and he did get grumpy when I wouldn't immediately drop all activities and "PLAY!"

    This is something you're just going to have to ride through for a year or two. Remember, they change ALL the time, even though it SEEMS as if it will be that way FOREVER (I had to keep reminding myself of that, too).

    I think you are doing the right things about the tantrums. But there's no rule that says HE thinks so Just keep on keeping on and you'll come out the other side. Also remember, he won't remember any of this stuff, so even if you make what you deem a 'mistake' here or there, it's ok. I like your approach right now; it keeps YOU calm, too.

    Try to get more horse time; that'll help though I know how difficult it is.
    "As a rule we disbelieve all the facts and theories for which we have no use."- William James
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    Proud member of the Wheat Loss Clique.



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