[alternatingego]

I'm starting grad school this fall and am determined to have a 'new start'. In high school and undergrad I had NO social life. I worked full time and any time that wasn't spent working or in school was spent at the barn riding. I didn't really date at all.

But, now I'm horseless (not by choice, but the only bright side I can see is I might be able to have a social life) so I figure I'll have a bit more time. The only issue? I have no idea how to go about meeting people- particularly of the male variety.

Help? Tips? Suggestions?

[JanDinWA]

I met my husband in grad school, so you could be just as lucky!

[2bayboys]

People, including the male variety, are everywhere. They are at the grocery store, they are on the train, they are on the jogging path. Make a promise to yourself that you will talk to one new person every day, even if all you say is something random about tomatoes while standing in line at the market.

Be willing to join a conversation, or start one. It takes practice, but it won't kill you.

[jenm]

Make eye contact and smile at every guy you see. A bright smile goes a long way!

[Sacred_Petra]

I'm right where you are (though not horseless). I'm almost 22 and have never gone on a date, and now that I actually want to and have time, I have no idea where to start.

I can't give you any advice, only the moral support that you're not alone.

Good luck!

[LexInVA]

I'm starting grad school this fall and am determined to have a 'new start'. In high school and undergrad I had NO social life. I worked full time and any time that wasn't spent working or in school was spent at the barn riding. I didn't really date at all.

But, now I'm horseless (not by choice, but the only bright side I can see is I might be able to have a social life) so I figure I'll have a bit more time. The only issue? I have no idea how to go about meeting people- particularly of the male variety.

Help? Tips? Suggestions?

You need to find people who share your interests. Sometimes that is easy to do in school and sometimes it isn't. You really might want to consider not looking in your classes because that could make things awkward/difficult. Try something like MeetUp. Plenty of young adults use it and you can get to know people while doing all sorts of fun things.

[onelanerode]

Starting over with the social life thing is easier said than done. But I envy you the opportunity.

[spirithorse22]

Make eye contact and smile at every guy you see. A bright smile goes a long way!

Have to agree with this. My dad says that I walk around w/ a "buzz off" sign on my forehead...apparently, when I take it down, I get plenty of offers.

Here I was wondering how to meet men and all I really needed to do was stop scowling at the ground and meet eye contact. Case in point: grocery stores. I think if you look back at men, and smile, it's like you suddenly took down the electric fence around yourself-they usually strike up a convo! Amazing.

OP-I'm still working on this. I'm naturally very shy and generally need to be friends before I will open up and consider dating. Unfortunately, I tend to befriend guys I'm not attracted to, then get in awkward situations. But hey. I'm trying.

[Petstorejunkie]

plentyoffish .com
you can search people by interests, and if you don't want to talk to them, there's a little red X you can push and they disappear.
I met my boyfriend of almost 2 years on the site, and we couldn't be happier. My dad met my step mom (been married 7 years) on match.com
benefit of POF is it's free.

[LuckyCharm83]

Ahhh. Welcome, fellow horseless grad student.

Everyone's grad school experience is unique and so it's hard to compare notes, but I think getting a fresh start is totally doable. I definitely managed it -- I found some of the best friends of my life, as well as my now-fiance, all during my first year of grad school. (Aside: He and I were one of those "departmental couples" It worked out for us and a few other couples I know, but it's not something I'd recommend as a strategy to meet men. Especially in the sciences, where female grad students will find that the odds are good, but the goods are odd )

First and foremost, it is SO important to make a few friends in your own department, and preferably in your own cohort/year. The first year is going to be tough no matter what kind of program you're in, and these are the people who are best equipped to commiserate with you and explore the new city with you. I cannot stress enough how helpful it was to have a support system of friends who were dealing with the same challenges I was. I owe a lot of my mental health to my grad school friends.

Keep your eyes peeled during orientation week. First of all, you'll probably hear about a few grad student e-mail lists, and you'll want to get on those because a lot of information about social events gets circulated that way. I'm always getting e-mails about happy hours, pub crawls, salsa dancing nights, speed dating, etc. Second of all, you'll likely find your way to several welcome parties or picnics during orientation week. Not only are these a great way to meet students in other programs, they're a great way to hone your "free food spidey sense." Very important in grad school.

And you're certainly not limited to fellow grad students. Especially if your school is in a decent sized city, there's definitely going to be a young professional crowd. It can be very refreshing to do some socializing outside of the university occasionally.

Best of luck to you