Leena, you are such a rock, a paragon for the rest of us. Troubles haven't got a chance against your strength, courage and grace. I wish for you rest and peace through this difficult transition in your life. Hang in there --
"One person's cowboy is another person's blooming idiot" -- katarine
Allright I am getting myself back a little bit here !
Thanks so much for all the beautifull messages, comments...This week, I slowly got back to normal life and today I rode a lot cause tomorrow is another chemo, one last week and one this week then a week off.
I got another teaching from my greenies about how light they want the hand to enjoy putting their tender mouth in my hands and how strong they want the connection from my legs and seat..Oh Boy !
I don't have that healthy strenght that is required to show in upper level, anything over training level for myself...I spent the last days to perfect my seat stability and figure out how I can use my legs in my conditions..
That'll be my next goal for this month I guess !
I am so happy and slowly starting to feel how cancer is coming down. Chemos are poison rat, tough to support but in my case, it is working so far..
I thought about this experience and now this has changed totally my thought about dominance and why it can be difficult to ride those horse. They know what kind of rider they want, they won't twisted themselves to fit into the ride..No way !
On another hand, they are GREAT TEACHERS..They will adress the rider's weakness and actually we need a deep forgiveness for not listening..They don't charge one penny for these coachings ! Or they will send you for a flight over the fences..
My other filly, the cuty pie Orla..she has no confidence in herself so she rely totally in the rider and will twist herself into the ride the more she can..
That kind can be ruined pretty fast under bad hands and probaly would join those who suffer or disconnect from the rider..
It was a great and neat experience, where I really felt the responsability over my shoulders more than ever...
Before I felt, but now no more excuse..I need to become better for the goods of the horse and I am improving !!!
I brought just one filly..maybe getting wiser after turning 50 years old this week...
Shannon was great ! I am so happy all this work I have done is paying off !!!!
We did improved since the beginning of the season so much and she has turned 4 years old on June 13th, with just 4 months of training..
Wonderful to see your latest show pictures with Shannon. You are working through all your problems and look great! When you go for that next chemo, think how much better your riding will be now that you know how to deal with it. Keep inspiring us Leena.
I think I am going to talk all week and comments about that show because there is so many aspects to this to really make a good analysis..
First this greenie filly is truly an amateur horse, no doubt about it, so stoick and she carry such a true nature everywhere she goes. She hauled in 30 seconds, get into portative stalles, gets along with other horses, so quiet. It is so fun to bring such a horse in show..The no problem filly, perfect for someone like me that needs all my energy for the event and not to have to deal with horsey issues.
At this show, the neighbor keeps a large amount of cows, also it is those rental barn horses operations and he has been running tractors so just the cocktail everyone needs to screw up their performance..
The best movement I know to get me horse in my aids is doing turn on the forehand, and transitions walk-halt, walk-trot, canter-trot..But lots of turn on the forehand...The legs aid..Horse need to have that clear and this is something that don't need any big energy requirement.
At the beginning of the season, back in may, she was tense and I was on the defensive side, always waiting for the spook, watching the crowd, expecting the worst since a green horse is so unexpectable..
So we got the marks to go with this..In may we got 49% et 52%.
In july, we got 49% and 57%, with the mention I had to improve myself..
Yesterday we did 60.714% and 52.8%. I had to make the test back to back and I can see one of the reason is my energy level in the second test came off real fast.
There is things I can change, and others I have to accept at this point...
I am happy because, we improve our scores, this means the filly is better and I always find new way to use my energy, constantly working effortless.
My next goal is just to be very sensitive, work again on discipline through legs aids.. I am going to write more about even if someone is disable, even if in this conditions, you don't have 100% with you on your body, you can..Oh yes, you can have a super ride !
I really appreciate every comments..If my journey can help anyone in any way, this is my pleasure and a kind of reward..At the least, it has a meaning.
I don't know if I mention it but while backing horses and riding greenies is about all I am doing so I had concerns about my capacity.
In a disable state, we all feel fears and weakness, and despite my strong spirit, I am not different..I had fear about horse and potential of accident too !
This brought my thinking about the meaning of authority. How to take lesson from the dominant mare. that always impress me to see how she gets every other horse to lsiten by just a slight ear movement..And no one complaint ! No one never discuss with her..
I mention how to make things clear with greenies through legs aids..And this is about authority. we all complaint about our leaders in our society so we secretly think our horse will do something if we act as an authority over him.
If he bucks against the leg..he simply does not recognise the leader in us. It became so clear to me that this is about leadership, then, learning this change all my perspective about riding. And being disable has nothing to do with this; I can get respected despite !
If the dominant mare can be respected by only moving one ear..I can be respected with a slight leg aids, if I want, if I am convinced and totally in power..
I also misunderstand how sensitive horse can be, so very often I was not sure about my aids and very often I was using them too much. The disability makes me understand how much too strong I was for nothing.
This journey has more than anything disciplined myself to save my little energy, feel better as a leader, more clear in my aids.
Leena, just to let you know there are many of us who lurk on this thread. None of us know how long we will live. But you are teaching all of us how to get the most out of each day, each horse, each moment.
"The Threat of Internet Ignorance: ... we are witnessing the rise of an age of equestrian disinformation, one where a trusting public can graze on nonsense packaged to look like fact."-LRG-AF