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  1. #201
    Join Date
    Aug. 26, 2003
    Location
    Joliette, QC, Canada
    Posts
    4,286

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    Well thanks ! merci and you welcome !

    I found my weakness force myself to think about it, think and really focus on what was a horse, what is the inner strenght and force that motivate a horse and why.

    That was the only way I see I could ride safely. Then I had to improve my riding just to connect.

    I am so happy this can help others !

    Yesterday I was really weak, so much tired. I went for a ride but that was it and today, after my scan, I just spend the day on the couch.

    I am going for the CWHBA inspection on saturday, bringing 3 mares and I don't know if I'll make it through but I need to do it.

    It is getting back to normal temperature here in Quebec, rainy, muddy and cold..I already miss summer..
    Élène

    Fighting ovarian cancer ! 2013 huge turnaround as I am winning the battle !..
    http://esergerie.wordpress.com



  2. #202
    Join Date
    Aug. 2, 2005
    Location
    Oxford, USA
    Posts
    3,727

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    We lift you Up!!!
    Anne
    -------
    "Where knowledge ends violence begins." B. Ljundquist



  3. #203
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2002
    Location
    Dungeon of the Ivory Tower
    Posts
    20,393

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    Thinking of you.
    www.specialhorses.org
    a 501(c)3 organization helping 501(c)3 equine rescues




  4. #204
    Join Date
    Aug. 26, 2003
    Location
    Joliette, QC, Canada
    Posts
    4,286

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    Pictures of the last ride this week..I was really weak that day.

    My upper body still has to be corrected but I am happy with my training with the filly.
    We have started in march her real training, she turned 4 in june and now in september.

    I still lean on canter I guess, maybe because she is so young..I need to grow with the young in my position..

    Anyway, overall I am happy, riding and bringing the young horses effortless.

    http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h1...os/17-pasA.jpg
    http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h1...photos/13A.jpg
    http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h1...photos/14A.jpg
    http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h1...photos/11A.jpg
    http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h1...photos/12A.jpg
    http://i63.photobucket.com/albums/h1...photos/16A.jpg

    Feeling better this morning; I probably needed just a good day sleeping !
    Élène

    Fighting ovarian cancer ! 2013 huge turnaround as I am winning the battle !..
    http://esergerie.wordpress.com



  5. #205
    Join Date
    Apr. 4, 2006
    Location
    An American Living In Ireland
    Posts
    5,658

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    Well I think your pictures are super! I'm pretty sure I lean too far forward in the canter as well! The mare looks so happy and balanced.

    I'm so glad you're feeling better!

    Terri
    COTH, keeping popcorn growers in business for years.

    "I need your grace to remind me to find my own." Snow Patrol-Chasing Cars. This line reminds me why I have horses.



  6. #206
    Join Date
    Aug. 26, 2003
    Location
    Joliette, QC, Canada
    Posts
    4,286

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    Thanks Terri !

    I am sooo happy this morning to feel better indeed. Inspection is tomorrow and I need a little energy..

    And I appreciate you are telling me to forgive more on my position at canter..Hahaha ! Especially on such young horses, I might just be at the right place to protect the back.

    This filly is really getting myself to use correct aides...She probably read a lot on false lightness..Getting tense is not an option so this is why I use my training with her as a benchmark in my work.
    Élène

    Fighting ovarian cancer ! 2013 huge turnaround as I am winning the battle !..
    http://esergerie.wordpress.com



  7. #207
    Join Date
    Sep. 20, 2010
    Posts
    41

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    Just caught up on this thread. Leena, your horses and riding are gorgeous. Thank you so much for sharing your progress. You are truly an inspiration! I think that your comments about lightness should be read by everyone trying to call themselves a dressage rider. I just think it's so cool that not only do you totally "get it"... you can explain it in your own way. I feel like I'm riding right there along with you. Keep it up!!



  8. #208
    Join Date
    Jan. 12, 2007
    Posts
    556

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    Leena, your posts always make me smile. Even the ones where you tell a bit of your struggles because you always see the positive. Thank you
    "Fool! Don't you see now that I could have poisoned you a hundred times had I been able to live without you." Cleopatra VII



  9. #209
    Join Date
    Aug. 26, 2003
    Location
    Joliette, QC, Canada
    Posts
    4,286

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    Well, I see what you mean Akor..You better smile ! I am quite often laughing at me indeed !

    I cannot believe how I can just live some deep anxiety, some scary moments and pouff, the next day I am up and in the ring again.

    Inspection went well, my 3 gorgeous ladies approved. One friend showed up to run because frankly, I am not capable to run anymore..

    Yesterday on chemos, Hé Hé..the rabbit is working and cancer tester are now under 100...Good to know but we took an Xray of my left lunge since I do have pain on that side, up to my shoulder and lower neck.. I'll get the result of scan and Xrays probably monday for my next chemo..

    Doctor is talking of a possible break of chemo..just to help me with such toxicity..I was happy ! that's means I can foresee a good fall and maybe winter...Hey ! a couple of other months ! This is real hope !
    He is always surprised my blood is still in good shape, as my liver..I told him I was an Iron woman..Well he reply I unfortunately have a couple of rusty holes...We smiled..

    You see ! Fighting is good sometimes..If I had look to my nostril, I would have been short of kleenex and done nothing of my life..
    Élène

    Fighting ovarian cancer ! 2013 huge turnaround as I am winning the battle !..
    http://esergerie.wordpress.com



  10. #210
    Join Date
    Jan. 12, 2007
    Posts
    556

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    Good to hear you got a bit of good news from the doctors! I hope you get an extra burst of energy and have a great day tomorrow! Take care
    "Fool! Don't you see now that I could have poisoned you a hundred times had I been able to live without you." Cleopatra VII



  11. #211
    Join Date
    Apr. 4, 2006
    Location
    An American Living In Ireland
    Posts
    5,658

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    Leena,

    Well that is just great news!!!!!! I am so excited to hear to had some good news from the doctor. And love the Iron Man with a few rusty holes analogy!

    And also many congrats on your mares getting approved. That is really cool. I would not feel bad about someone having to run for you. Heck, I had my yearling filly up at the sales last week and I really wish I had had someone lead her up, what with the theatrics she decided to show off. But since I know her and she actually does listen to me, I guess it was best I did it myself. But it was one full hour of power walking and dive bombing before I went into the ring. I was definitely thinking of you that day!

    So glad to hear your news!

    Terri
    COTH, keeping popcorn growers in business for years.

    "I need your grace to remind me to find my own." Snow Patrol-Chasing Cars. This line reminds me why I have horses.



  12. #212
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2002
    Location
    Dungeon of the Ivory Tower
    Posts
    20,393

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    Beaming for you!
    www.specialhorses.org
    a 501(c)3 organization helping 501(c)3 equine rescues




  13. #213
    Join Date
    Sep. 18, 2003
    Posts
    4,619

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    Good news all around. Thanks for sharing, Leena.
    __________________________
    "... if you think i'm MAD, today, of all days,
    the best day in ten years,
    you are SORELY MISTAKEN, MY LITTLE ANCHOVY."



  14. #214
    Join Date
    Aug. 21, 2000
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    2,650

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    So happy to hear the good news, Leena! Congratulations on your horses and on your health results. How wonderful to look forward to a few months of booting the chemo and hopefully feeling better. Keep fighting and keep us posted. You are an amazing woman!
    I evented just for the Halibut.



  15. #215
    Join Date
    Nov. 19, 2005
    Posts
    2,032

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    Thinking of you Leena.



  16. #216
    Join Date
    Aug. 26, 2003
    Location
    Joliette, QC, Canada
    Posts
    4,286

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    I am thinking about me too...

    Well, despite the cancer tester down..I still have that pain on my left side..Growing pain.
    Today, I got the news; while my lunge looks ok, cancer has made damages all around..

    Doctor look at me and he was so sorry..I was so sorry too.

    So I went to ride.

    I broke my 3 years old filly..I told her today is the day..We did walk and a little bit of trot. She was great !

    On saturday, she suddenly realised I was riding her, that the saddle means riding...I was lunging her and she went into such a rodeo !!! I was very happy to be on the ground, safely just looking at this !

    Then I lunge my 3 years old gelding..

    We had some rains over here so I did not do a lot with them last week..Now footing has got better, so I just go slow again with them. I also was not feeling that well, despite the drop in cancer tester and I was concerned about this.

    Anyway, I keep riding for the moment..All those moments means so much, they are priceless.

    This thread is precious too, allowing myself to share how I deal with this, how I manage my riding...

    Thanks everyone !
    Élène

    Fighting ovarian cancer ! 2013 huge turnaround as I am winning the battle !..
    http://esergerie.wordpress.com



  17. #217
    Join Date
    May. 11, 2007
    Posts
    437

    Default

    Bless you my dear! My thoughts are with you every time I ride.



  18. #218
    Join Date
    Dec. 7, 2001
    Location
    Cullowhere?, NC
    Posts
    8,668

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    Doctor says things are looking gloomy, so you go to the barn and break a three year old. Words to live by ... Give the woman a gold medal!
    "One person's cowboy is another person's blooming idiot" -- katarine

    Spay and neuter. Please.



  19. #219
    Join Date
    Oct. 29, 2003
    Location
    Ocala, FL
    Posts
    1,929

    Default

    You are a true treasure, and it's amazing the wonderful attitude and fighting spirit you have! Having been through my own fight and subsequent scares, I just can't imagine having been as sane and strong as you are every day. I realize how the times in the trenches can really bring you dow, and am happy that you are finding such joy in your gorgeous babies. Thank you so much for sharing your grace and strength, as well as your lessons and learnings with us. Your story reminds us what life is TRULY all about! Sending good vibes and rooting on that rabbit!



  20. #220
    Join Date
    Aug. 26, 2003
    Location
    Joliette, QC, Canada
    Posts
    4,286

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    I strongly believe that physical work is good to move those emotions, to manage chemos toxins and forget about cancer and several other issues as well, insecurity, anxiety.

    Being in the moment, breathing it always amazed me. How I find this particular time to just be a rider helps me to stay grounded. Focus on horse, just let the horse moves, even being just a passenger feels good.

    I try to keep in my mind cancer is just an issue, just another challenge..It feels like in a war where I try to check where my ennemy is, how many time I have left before facing him nose to nose. Meantime, keeping my energy to stay strong and don't let myself blowing down before my ennemy can do it.

    There is a lot of psychology in this, a lot to do with how strong is the spirit, how much ressources I can find within myself, how much I know nothing can get my soul out.

    Horses are a ressource; they peacefull mind offer to carry me, to obey to my needs, they offer joy, peace and movement. this is gratos against good hay, decent pasture and care. I feel they want to help me, they really care for us. I figure they enjoy being with my husband and I.

    Horses have everything to share and still. Even when I started a new one undersaddle, I can feel how much the youngster put all his confidence in my hands, and how much this has to be respected..For those moments, I bless God because this helps me so much !

    In those moments, I feel like nature world is carrying me..I cannot describe exactly what it is..But let me tell you this is better than any drugs..When I am riding, no pain ! if I am getting tired, I feel looseness in my body and the riding is even better ! Well to a certain extend..
    Élène

    Fighting ovarian cancer ! 2013 huge turnaround as I am winning the battle !..
    http://esergerie.wordpress.com



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