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  1. #281
    Join Date
    Jun. 17, 2000
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    Durham/Chapel Hill nc
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    3,656

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    Some time ago you made a comment which captured my imagination - I hope you don't mind if I cling to the image that you are heading off to ride with Klimke, in the moment, riding horses full of joy.



  2. #282
    Join Date
    Mar. 8, 2004
    Location
    Baltimore, MD
    Posts
    18,921

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    So much grace in the face of unimaginable adversity brings me to tears of joy. Not for the situation obviously but because I am so grateful to be able to witness the perfection. I am starting to think that God has a huge job that only someone as amazing as you can handle. Whether its on this side or on the other side I have no doubts the job will be well done.



  3. #283
    Join Date
    Aug. 26, 2003
    Location
    Joliette, QC, Canada
    Posts
    4,286

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    Thanks a lot..Merci beaucoup !

    I cannot feel really sad for more than a few hours..and then I move on. I think what help me a lot is the way I don't make any anticipation, I never play the "if-what" game, I never make any scenario.

    I really love all the support of everybody. Thanks so much !

    I don't know what is going to happen; I want to keep my attitude, keep an open mind and still wish to last a little longer ? Who knows ?

    I grew up a lot, yes I think I have enough knowledge to sustain the teaching of Dr. Klimke !
    Here is today's ride on my 3.5 years ol anglo trakehner..It is supposed to be a hot breed..I doubt !
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8nbUvYXPbt8
    Élène

    Fighting ovarian cancer ! 2013 huge turnaround as I am winning the battle !..
    http://esergerie.wordpress.com



  4. #284
    Join Date
    Jan. 31, 2003
    Posts
    18,472

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    Someday I am going to tell this little girl who shares your name, about you and your great spirit. I am grateful to have this gift to pass on to her when she needs it someday. Thank you Elene for sharing this with all of us. You are amazing.
    "Kindness is free" ~ Eurofoal
    ---
    The CoTH CYA - please consult w/your veterinarian under any and all circumstances.



  5. #285
    Join Date
    Jun. 8, 2006
    Posts
    660

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    Leena,
    I watched your video - you are a good rider. Your horse is very happy with your ride. That's what I see when I watch your video - just the good.
    I wish I could help you. You are a good person and your horses love you - you can see it when you watch them.



  6. #286
    Join Date
    Aug. 28, 2006
    Posts
    9,159

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    Quote Originally Posted by Leena View Post
    I cannot feel really sad for more than a few hours..and then I move on. I think what help me a lot is the way I don't make any anticipation, I never play the "if-what" game, I never make any scenario.
    That is a great gift. In addition, you have such a strong spirit.

    I love your horse and you look wonderful on him.



  7. #287
    Join Date
    Jan. 25, 2010
    Posts
    289

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    Leena--this is the first time I have posted on this thread, but I always look for your posts. Several years ago, I lost one of my dearest friends to ovarian cancer. Like you, she took great comfort from horses, and her greatest fear was related to the who would care for her horse when she was no longer able to. After her first surgery, she would not even leave her house, until her caretaker insisted on bringing her to the boarding facility to visit her horse. Then she came almost every day, sat in her wheelchair and watched people take lessons. Little by little, the healing power of horses helped her, she got strong enough to ride. her horse was a little wild, so we found nice babysitters for her. It was then I saw the real healing power of horses. It is soething I will never, ever forget. When I stumbled upon this thread, I realized you have also benefitted from this healing power. Like so many, I have been as thrilled to hear of your progress with you horses as I would be when I watched my dear friend riding. And when I am being a wimp and whining about riding in the cold or one of my horses challenging my authority, I think "I must be more like Leena!" I hope I will be continuing to read your exciting posts for some time to come., I DO believe in miracles and if anyonbe deserves ione,m iut is you!



  8. #288
    Join Date
    Sep. 24, 2001
    Location
    Lexington, Kentucky
    Posts
    7,471

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    Quote Originally Posted by poopoo View Post
    Leena,
    I watched your video - you are a good rider. Your horse is very happy with your ride. That's what I see when I watch your video - just the good.
    I wish I could help you. You are a good person and your horses love you - you can see it when you watch them.
    Interesting you mention this, because when I watched the video I could hear the horse saying, "How is this? Am I doing this right? I'm happy I can do this for you! I like this! I like you!"

    I haven't posted on your thread much, Leena, but have been following your journey. I am so humbled when I think of the petty grievances I let bother me every day, yet you meet each day with such joy and determination. You have shown me what true grace and courage are, and for that I truly thank you.

    As we say here, "Grab mane and kick on!"
    "My friends, love is better than anger. Hope is better than fear. Optimism is better than despair. So let us be loving, hopeful and optimistic. And we'll change the world." ~ Jack Layton



  9. #289
    Join Date
    Jul. 23, 2007
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    875

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    Everyone else has already said all I want to say.....but I will add that every week when I go for my accupuncture the person I use is a healer so I give myself up to the experience but also tell "whoever" is listening that Leena needs you more than I do at this moment and I send you all the healing I can. I know that is not a cure, but it is for pain free time and riding and anything it may bring. I will be going this afternoon and will be sending you all I can.
    It is truly amazing how many lives you have touched with your sharing, you are so very special to us.
    Last edited by Parrotnutz; Dec. 15, 2010 at 10:51 AM. Reason: spelling
    Adriane
    Happily retired but used to be:
    www.ParrotNutz.com



  10. #290
    Join Date
    Dec. 7, 2001
    Location
    Cullowhere?, NC
    Posts
    8,536

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    Quote Originally Posted by Laurierace View Post
    So much grace in the face of unimaginable adversity brings me to tears of joy. Not for the situation obviously but because I am so grateful to be able to witness the perfection. I am starting to think that God has a huge job that only someone as amazing as you can handle. Whether its on this side or on the other side I have no doubts the job will be well done.
    This is so well said, that it bears repeating.

    I wish for a miracle, but Leena already IS a miracle.

    Just ... eyes up, grab mane, and kick on. What more can be said?
    "One person's cowboy is another person's blooming idiot" -- katarine

    Spay and neuter. Please.



  11. #291
    Join Date
    Mar. 4, 2007
    Location
    Western Washington
    Posts
    2,876

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    Quote Originally Posted by hitchinmygetalong View Post
    Interesting you mention this, because when I watched the video I could hear the horse saying, "How is this? Am I doing this right? I'm happy I can do this for you! I like this! I like you!"
    I thought the very same thing. They seem to be your partners, willing to be true and trustworthy for you, because you are true to them - light, lovely and steadfast for them.

    Your willingness to share your journey with all of us has been remarkable, Leena, and while we will never meet, you've made a lasting impression. How light can I be? How steadfast? I am grateful to you for sharing with us.



  12. #292
    Join Date
    Dec. 2, 2004
    Location
    Eastern Ontario, Canada
    Posts
    1,461

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    Leena, you continue to be an inspiration. Peace be with you.

    Valerie



  13. #293
    Join Date
    Jul. 14, 2006
    Posts
    1,813

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    Leena,
    I haven't posted much on this thread, being more of a lurker, but I'm delurking to say how much I've enjoyed reading your story, hearing about your horses and how very sorry I am to hear the news.

    If you don't mind hearing one more story about how you touched a life, I'll share. I'm a medical student currently doing a rotation in gynecologic oncology. The hours are brutal for the students and residents, worse for the patients I'm sure.

    Yesterday, I was scrubbed in on an operation to resect a lady's recurrent ovarian cancer. The lady and her family are super nice people. Well, it turned out things went too far and it was inoperable. The 3 doctors and nurses in the OR were all getting pretty emotional, because it was so obviously bad and the attending knew she had to go give the family bad news. I started to tear up, which is not good because I'm supposed to help cut sutures during the surgery. Then I thought of you Leena, reminded myself of how you found such meaning and joy in this last year. I said a little prayer that whatever is this patient's horse equivalent, that she gets to do it.

    FWIW, you helped me get through the day.
    Best wishes,
    BES
    Proudly owned by 2 chestnut mares
    Crayola Posse: sea green
    Mighty Rehabbers Clique



  14. #294
    Join Date
    Jan. 18, 2008
    Location
    Alberta, Canada and South Australia
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    2,523

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    I am also a lurker and other have said it better but I did want to say that you are an amazing person and an inspiration for all. Jingles and healing vibes heading your way.

    P.



  15. #295
    Join Date
    Apr. 4, 2006
    Location
    An American Living In Ireland
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    5,658

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    Elene,

    Loved the video of your baby. How happy, light, and free is he? And of course he only wants to please.

    I have been thinking of you often this week. And I have to admit it has all been happy thoughts. You make me smile and you give me a kick up the butt when I start whinging about the cold and how I don't want to do anything.

    Thank you again for your thoughts and insights. Keep posting those videos of those lovely babies!

    BES, that was a difficult story and thank you for sharing how difficult things are for you in your profession. I don't think most of us realize how those situations affect doctors and nurses.

    Terri
    COTH, keeping popcorn growers in business for years.

    "I need your grace to remind me to find my own." Snow Patrol-Chasing Cars. This line reminds me why I have horses.



  16. #296
    Join Date
    Mar. 21, 2008
    Location
    Corvallis, OR
    Posts
    177

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    Elene,

    I'm not sure what to say. I found this place when I was in need of strength, support, encouragement, and another person to say "It's okay, I've been there too." That is exactly what I found here and you are the epitome of this.

    Your courage, strength, resolve, and character are more than inspirational; they are the forces that connect all of us through this faceless sojourn together.

    You shared your journey with me, and this is a great gift. But it is not the only one that you have given. You have taught me so much about the world and about life. Reading about your struggle and hardship has put my small problems into perspective. Your indomitable will in the face of insurmountable adversity is awe-inspiring.

    I can only say thank you and I'm sorry. What else is there?

    Thank you for your courage and wisdom, which was so freely given here to those of us who need it much less than you. Thank you for your inspiration. Like many others have said, when riding seems like a chore or when I feel as though the forces of the universe are picking on me a bit too much, I just think of you. I think to myself "What would Elene do? What would she say? How would she handle this situation?"

    I'm sorry. It seems so terribly unjust that such a beautiful person would be given this hardship, while those of us who are left to carry on may never know such adversity. But perhaps that is the secret: only a person such as you could face these circumstances with such force and determination.

    We will never meet in this life, but I feel certain that someday, across the bridge, there will a circle of us all finally together, and Elene will be in the center of it all. I will be looking for you as soon as I cross, whenever God decides that time will be for me.

    Until then, I hope to go through this life with only a fraction of the grace and hope that you embody every day. The name Elene means "sun ray", and that is certainly what you have been to us all throughout your journey.

    Godspeed Elene. God bless you. Hope, faith, love, peace, and healing.

    Megan
    "The FEI is often in error, but never in doubt." - Jim Wofford

    "You do not find the happy life. You make it." - Camilla Eyring Kimball



  17. #297
    Join Date
    Aug. 26, 2003
    Location
    Joliette, QC, Canada
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    4,286

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    Well..I am really really touched by everyone witness here.

    Excuse my BASIC english writing..

    Right now, I am a drug addict. I suffer a great great addiction to JOY ! Not being happy, not smiling...No.

    JOY is stronger than that..It is so powerfull, so immense.

    JOY is horse's expression. Horse are joyfull animal, that bucks, rears and get into such floating gaits to express their freedom, their JOY of being free. Can you see their joy in the freedom of the movement ?

    I first met JOY this summer with my grey filly. She taught me how JOY is all about and how much I had to become soft in my upper body, strong in my lower body to let that JOY expressed !
    Why get a balanced rider, why learn to use my legs, why have my elastic elbows, why have my hips and seat free..To let the horse express JOY and to share it with me.

    THAT FEELING is incredible and you know what, I don't feel pain, cancer and all those weakness in that stage of joy..Just feeling the horse carrying me, mastering the half halt, educating the horse to the aids and it is allright !

    I am sorry cancer going to end up that party but so happy I met this in my life and wish you all the same...!!!!
    Élène

    Fighting ovarian cancer ! 2013 huge turnaround as I am winning the battle !..
    http://esergerie.wordpress.com



  18. #298
    Join Date
    Jun. 8, 2006
    Posts
    660

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    Leena,
    I so enjoy reading about your outlook on life, and horses, which we choose because of our outlook on life. Your horses, not surprisingly, seem especially lovely. I look forward to your posts, and even though I have never met you - I think of you during my day. You will live on in many people's mind, and we will feel your spirit in our horses. Not many people have such an impact on so many. I hope this forum can continue to offer you comfort for a while. I know that you will have many people stepping up to the plate if you need help planning for your horses.
    What is your secret for finding the joy around you even in your darkest moments? That is my goal in my life, and you seem to have accomplished this. I know it is genuine because I see it in your horses - your life force shines through them. That is impressive.
    I hope this is not too invasive, as I only mean to be kind.



  19. #299
    Join Date
    Aug. 26, 2003
    Location
    Joliette, QC, Canada
    Posts
    4,286

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    Thanks Poopoo..

    I think I want to believe I choose. I had the choice, I choose and will. Then I discover I had plenty of judgement toward how life should be, how horse should be, how I should be.

    I believe I cannot control futur, neither the fact I will pass away, I have cancer and Yes ! I could choose to say OMG what a pity I am..That is injustice..I cannot ride any more, I have to give up my dreams..

    Oh yes I could be like that ! This summer one judge in the ring wrote on my sheet I was a pityfull rider...Boy this shocked me..
    It was the 4th test of the day and..well..what can I say ? I had to accept the fact that at the 4th tests, I am not there anymore, so weak..And the scores plunged.

    I also know that despite the drama, I can shine. I can be happy, I can still find a meaning in my life and share it. There is nothing in this world that make an interdiction about this !

    So I choose this attitude towards my own tragedy. Despite the final issue, despite finality..I am always saying everyday: Ok ! Let's go and find what is there I did not know about, let's live that minute, that moment for what it is, period. Let's see how this greenie wants me to ride, so he can express his joy !
    Élène

    Fighting ovarian cancer ! 2013 huge turnaround as I am winning the battle !..
    http://esergerie.wordpress.com



  20. #300
    Join Date
    Jun. 8, 2006
    Posts
    660

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    Thank you. You have given me a plan for my life. I decided a long time ago to love my horses for the good I see and feel in them, and to accept all the rest. I guess I need to do that everywhere - the world is my barn... Thank you.



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