Do get a certain question/comment over and over and over and you really wish you had a witty/smart @$$ response?
Ok, I do... I need help. I can't think of what to say.
I'm a mounted police officer. It never fails that almost every, single day, some moron says, (drumroll please........)
"Can I have a ride?"
"No, you idiot, you can't ride my horse" is, of course, the first thing that pops into my mind. But I don't feel like explaining that response to the Chief. I want something cute/witty to say that will shut them down without getting me in trouble
Disclaimer: I'm not rude or obnoxious to children or non-moronic citizens..... this is soley reserved for the goober who couldn't come up with a better comment about me/my horse. I always tell children to get mommy or daddy to buy them riding lessons.
There's a very fine line between a witty comeback and a sarcastic putdown, especially coming from an armed law enforcement officer with police power. I'm sure it can get old hearing that same request dozens of times a day. Most people respond positively to mounted officers, so I think the best response is just to smile, give a friendly chuckle and commiserate, "Sorry, I can't"
Zu Zu's comment wins. But make up an imaginary license type and tell to go down the Department of Motor Vehicles and come back with the license and they can ride.
Then they'll have spent hours on line...
-He suffers from psychotic episodes, from when he worked VICE.
-Sorry, not my horse, he's just on loan from the [ICE, firefighter, undercover, NARC, Fraud, SWAT] division, he's going back next week.
I don't think the owner of that phone number would be happy.
I use to be one of those who asked about riding and just being near a horse. Of course, I asked nicely. I learned from the kindness of the police. I found out where I could get more information. The most important part was that it built my confidence that it was ok to talk to police officers. Great for community relations.
When I had my own pony, I practiced what I had seen the police officers do. All those quiet lateral moves, etc. Eventually I moved to a farm that had escaped convicts from the local pen passing through, along the RR tracks. I used those moves, rearing, spinning and speed to leave quickly. I think that the time I bothered the officers was an important survival lesson.
While the jerk may be the only one bugging you, please remember all those hidden people you influence.
I like the "against regulations like a police car" rejoinder best.