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  1. #1
    Join Date
    May. 25, 2008
    Location
    NE of Dallas, TX
    Posts
    422

    Default I need a witty comeback....

    Do get a certain question/comment over and over and over and you really wish you had a witty/smart @$$ response?

    Ok, I do... I need help. I can't think of what to say.

    I'm a mounted police officer. It never fails that almost every, single day, some moron says, (drumroll please........)
    "Can I have a ride?"

    "No, you idiot, you can't ride my horse" is, of course, the first thing that pops into my mind. But I don't feel like explaining that response to the Chief. I want something cute/witty to say that will shut them down without getting me in trouble

    Help!

    Disclaimer: I'm not rude or obnoxious to children or non-moronic citizens..... this is soley reserved for the goober who couldn't come up with a better comment about me/my horse. I always tell children to get mommy or daddy to buy them riding lessons.



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Feb. 26, 2008
    Posts
    773

    Default

    Have you been a BAD boy?

    Let me radio for a chauffeur for you.

    Um, needs work, but best I can come up with at this early hour.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr. 16, 2003
    Location
    GA
    Posts
    463

    Default

    A bit on the sarcastic side but "Mind leaving your car with me? That way if my horse gets hurt, I'll just keep your car.'
    glimmerling


    Member Appaloosa lovers clique



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug. 22, 2005
    Posts
    3,788

    Default

    "Nope. Policy prohibits police brutality."



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan. 30, 2007
    Location
    Lexington, KY
    Posts
    425

    Default

    -"Can I have a ride?"
    -"Yes. Just let me put my horse away first".

    Nevermind, that will probably get you in trouble.
    Every one of them had that look of a girl infatuated with horses, the happy, fated look of a passenger setting sail on the Titanic.



  6. #6
    Join Date
    May. 25, 2008
    Location
    NE of Dallas, TX
    Posts
    422

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by kristinq View Post
    -"Can I have a ride?"
    -"Yes. Just let me put my horse away first".

    Nevermind, that will probably get you in trouble.
    Yup, that would probably require a "Dear Chief" letter... LOL



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar. 6, 2009
    Posts
    8,743

    Default

    With a straight face --- "Do you have a riding license? Well then sorry it is against policy to allow riders without a license."
    Last edited by Zu Zu; Apr. 10, 2010 at 08:59 AM. Reason: spelling
    Zu Zu Bailey " IT"S A WONDERFUL LIFE !"



  8. #8
    Join Date
    May. 11, 2009
    Location
    Dairyville USA
    Posts
    2,979

    Default

    Oh I would but this isn't my horse, I stole it. We're just hiding out as police officers so we don't get caught.
    Michael: Seems the people who burned me want me for a job.
    Sam: A job? Does it pay?
    Michael: Nah, it's more of a "we'll kill you if you don't do it" type of thing.
    Sam: Oh. I've never liked those.



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Feb. 14, 2009
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    622

    Default

    There's a very fine line between a witty comeback and a sarcastic putdown, especially coming from an armed law enforcement officer with police power. I'm sure it can get old hearing that same request dozens of times a day. Most people respond positively to mounted officers, so I think the best response is just to smile, give a friendly chuckle and commiserate, "Sorry, I can't"



  10. #10
    Join Date
    May. 25, 2008
    Location
    NE of Dallas, TX
    Posts
    422

    Default

    And as I clearly stated, this was not to be a comment for everyday use for every person..... It was for the once in a while jerk who needs it.



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Aug. 8, 2001
    Location
    up the hill from the little river (that floods alarmingly often)
    Posts
    3,612

    Default

    "Can I have a ride?"

    "Sure, let me call in and I'm certain one of my colleagues would be happy to give you a ride to the station, where you can explain why you keep asking me the same stupid question."
    Full-time bargain hunter.



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Apr. 29, 2006
    Posts
    3,452

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mlranchtx View Post
    And as I clearly stated, this was not to be a comment for everyday use for every person..... It was for the once in a while jerk who needs it.
    Save your breath. The jerk who needs a witty comeback is unlikely to understand it.



  13. #13
    Join Date
    May. 25, 2008
    Location
    NE of Dallas, TX
    Posts
    422

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Come Shine View Post
    Save your breath. The jerk who needs a witty comeback is unlikely to understand it.
    Well, that's exactly what I'm doing now..... Just ride on down the road and act like I couldn't hear them over the hoofbeats.

    I was just hoping someone had a good idea for me



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Oct. 28, 2007
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    4,284

    Default

    Zu Zu's comment wins. But make up an imaginary license type and tell to go down the Department of Motor Vehicles and come back with the license and they can ride.
    Then they'll have spent hours on line...

    -He suffers from psychotic episodes, from when he worked VICE.

    -Sorry, not my horse, he's just on loan from the [ICE, firefighter, undercover, NARC, Fraud, SWAT] division, he's going back next week.



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Mar. 11, 2004
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    3,296

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by BeaSting View Post
    There's a very fine line between a witty comeback and a sarcastic putdown, especially coming from an armed law enforcement officer with police power.
    I understand the desire for the witty comeback, but agree with this.

    But how about: Sorry, but s/he's like a police car. I couldn't let you drive that either.



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Dec. 25, 2005
    Location
    SE PA
    Posts
    1,002

    Default

    How about:

    "A ride? Down to the station? Sure, I'll call a car for you."
    Laurie Higgins
    www.coreconnexxions.com
    ________________
    "Expectation is premeditated disappointment."



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jul. 6, 2000
    Location
    Alvin, TX
    Posts
    1,050

    Default

    "No, sorry. You see, he's not really a horse. He's just working undercover as a horse."



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Nov. 12, 2009
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    1,370

    Default

    Or make them jump throu "hoops": I would absolutely "love" to give you a ride! Here's my boss's number so he can set up a time for you to go to the station to sign a liability disclaimer!



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Jul. 17, 2008
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    761

    Default

    Tell him he has to ask the horse. That ought to be interesting!
    "Your best can be worn at any length"- Jason Mraz



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Apr. 15, 2008
    Location
    Orlean, Va
    Posts
    2,058

    Default

    Hmmm,
    I don't think the owner of that phone number would be happy.

    I use to be one of those who asked about riding and just being near a horse. Of course, I asked nicely. I learned from the kindness of the police. I found out where I could get more information. The most important part was that it built my confidence that it was ok to talk to police officers. Great for community relations.

    When I had my own pony, I practiced what I had seen the police officers do. All those quiet lateral moves, etc. Eventually I moved to a farm that had escaped convicts from the local pen passing through, along the RR tracks. I used those moves, rearing, spinning and speed to leave quickly. I think that the time I bothered the officers was an important survival lesson.

    While the jerk may be the only one bugging you, please remember all those hidden people you influence.

    I like the "against regulations like a police car" rejoinder best.



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