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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jun. 4, 2006
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    Default need some words of wisdom

    I need to become a stronger more disciplined person, more focused more driven. I used to be such a hard worker, I used to be. I used to be so patient, clean the barn, clean the house, work. How do you not allow lameness to take you down and just be patient have faith he will come sound with extended time and carry on?
    Last edited by Fharoah; May. 12, 2010 at 07:31 PM.



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun. 22, 2008
    Location
    Outside Ocala FL - Horse Capital of the World
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    6,190

    Default

    It is a bad roller coaster ride for sure whenever we are dealing with health and soundness issues with the horses. I'm not sure I have any words of wisdom other than to take it a day at a time, and try to find something positive each and every day, no matter how many negative things seem to be cropping up that you have to deal with. Look for any small signs of improvement every day, and expect that some days will be a step backwards.
    There are friends and faces that may be forgotten, but there are horses that never will be. - Andy Adams



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jun. 14, 2006
    Location
    VA
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    11,371

    Default

    Borrow another horse? Take some lessons on a school horse? Do SOMETHING that involves having a little fun and not just playing nurse? Pick up a book on clicker training and teach your lame one some tricks?

    I'm not exactly in your shoes...but sort of. I have a horse who really can't do much of anything right now....I need to find the dedication and DRIVE to get out there and ride her even though all we can really do for now is some straight line work at the walk. If I DON'T do it, she's never going to get better...but it's pretty un-fun to go to all the trouble of changing clothes, hauling out the tack and brushes, grooming, tacking up, etc for a 10 minute ride at the walk. Last time I did it (last Thursday) she hurt herself. And that was in the first two minutes. Vet was out today and we've got the green light to start again, but it IS a little frustrating. Even if she gets pretty solid, she will not be able to do what I want to do.

    Luckily for me, my friend boards at the same barn and has a horse I can ride and my trainer has a couple of horses I can ride--so I've now got a standing lesson every Thursday on whichever horse. That keeps me motivated.

    I've also contacted one of my old trainers (different discipline) and she has a horse I can ride too.

    I guess what I'm saying is that for me, having a little bit of fun planned in amongst the rehab work is helping me stay on the sunny side.

    Good luck!
    A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

    Might be a reason, never an excuse...



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Aug. 3, 2009
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    800

    Default

    Some of our biggest challenges in life are our biggest teachers. Don't beat yourself up so hard, for one, it is ok to feel these feelings. I know from personal experience. Your job now is to support and "HOLD" that faith, hope and love that this phrase in your life and your horse has a purpose. You may not know it yet, nor volunteer for it either, but at its heart, there is much wisdom in this experience.

    Re-direct your energy and focus to giving more to yourself, to your horse and to the situation. Don't look to far ahead, just keep that "feeling" of how much you love your guy, if he can recovery, he will and I need to help and support his emotional state as his physcial works to heal. Also, it is ok to also give to yourself... if it is time, space or change, look to see how you can fill that empty whole.

    Those grooming times can be important to help circulation. Create some new activities while you patiently wait.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fharoah View Post
    I need to become a stronger more disciplined person, more focused more driven. I used to be such a hard worker, I used to be. I used to be so patient, clean the barn, clean the house, work. How do you not allow lameness to take you down and just be patient have faith he will come sound with extended time and carry on?
    Fharoah, I know this is tough, spring will even make it harder, but your job now is to support and give as much as you can in that direction. Express your feelings if you need to, create a routine that includes walking or jogging to release this new emotion, then return to your guy with that caring smile , that in its time, all will be ok.

    Blessings ..... my heart feels your pain



  5. #5
    Join Date
    May. 17, 2003
    Posts
    5,554

    Default

    It's tough, isn't it?

    I have Mr. Permanent Rehab, it seems--not quite Lame with a capital L, but not quite sound enough to progress, and every time we do get sound enough to progress, something else breaks. It's a real downer. Especially as spring approaches and we start to see clinics and training and shows happening, and they all seem to be just out of reach, as we're not quite there yet...

    What with that and the kitty I have that needs medicating three times a day and tries to die on me about once every five days, then bounces back to not being ready to go yet, and my ancient quarter horse retiree who has decided to go off his food, just enough for me to notice, I'm emotionally drained and physically worn out. And broke.

    But tomorrow is another day, and they are all out there relying on us to do the Right Thing, whatever that is, so one foot in front of the other--the snow and ice will melt, the warm sun will come out, and everything will look better. It always does.



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep. 28, 2001
    Location
    Kentucky
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    4,261

    Default

    Totally agree with BuddyRoo...you need to find something that can make this fun again until your horse gets better. Can you find a horse to borrow to take on a long trail ride or take a lesson on? Or take a lesson in a different discipline altogether.

    We all burn out from time to time and need some recharging!! Don't beat yourself up so much because you are not perfect...none of us are! Take some time for yourself, even if its just an hour or two for a movie or a massage.

    Take care!



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jun. 4, 2006
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    Default

    Thanks guys! Some fun would be really nice right now.

    My horse is intermittently lame at the walk. My surgeon says it is ok, and I can bute when i'm concerned, truthfully I am always concerned. He doesn't see any reason to re-check until August so I just have to wait. Six months to a year to achieve soundness with this surgery all I know is he is lame at seven months he could be sound at eight months or nine months or ten or eleven but I have to just wait until August hope and prey.

    You are all great help!



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar. 6, 2009
    Posts
    8,377

    Cool Helping someone else to smile will help you to smile again!

    Jingles for you and your horse ~ try not to be so hard on yourself ~ ride another horse & enjoy the Spring & Sunshine. Make a list of five things you love to do and then make yourself go do them - one a week ~ volunteer at a Handicapped Riding Center and help someone else SMILE and then you too will SMILE !
    Last edited by Zu Zu; Mar. 10, 2010 at 06:30 PM. Reason: addition
    Zu Zu Bailey " IT"S A WONDERFUL LIFE !"



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec. 29, 2005
    Location
    Ojai, CA
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    Default

    Kayla - We all feel your pain. You know I do!!!! When Benjamin was laid up for two years with a soft-tissue injury, I ended up doing a half-lease on a friend's horse so I could ride. When that lease ended, I scrounged rides wherever I could, including helping to bring back rehab horses who were in the trotting stage. Once I put myself out there for riding opportunities, they presented themselves. You could also post at your local tack/feed store and on Craigslist. Be sure to mention your situation - other horse people will relate.

    I know that hand-walking a laid-up horse is something like an inner circle of hell and there is very little pleasure to be had out of it. I marked on my calendar how many weeks I was at and that somehow helped. Give yourself short-term goals, too. Don't look to the end - look to the next shoeing, for example. Get yourself through five or six weeks at a time, not five or six months.

    And remember you're doing all you can. At a certain point you have to trust the gods to let things work out as they will. It's ok to realize you can't control it all and the end result will be what it will be. When you're beating your head against a wall, repeat this: "It is what it is."

    Hang in there - we're all rooting for you.
    R.I.P. Ollie (2007-2010) You were small in stature but huge in spirit. You will never be forgotten.

    Godspeed, Benjamin (1998-2014). A life well-lived. A horse well-loved.



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan. 31, 2003
    Posts
    18,472

    Default

    Every once in a while I become discouraged about something and then I see a post here on COTH about someone's horse who died. That puts it all into perspective for me. Maybe try to think about others who have it much worse...
    "Kindness is free" ~ Eurofoal
    ---
    The CoTH CYA - please consult w/your veterinarian under any and all circumstances.



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Mar. 4, 2007
    Location
    Western Washington
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    Default

    I am sorry your situation is tough.

    My mare has spent months on the injured reserve, and while she's healthy today, (or so I think she is .... I could get a call any minute) Our vet calls her a one-mare wrecking crew.

    I try to focus on what I can do, and let go what I can't do. I can't ride every day, I can't do this, I can't do that ....

    But what I can do is groom, rub her furry face and body with a handtowel until she yawns, handwalk her until her head is relaxed, swinging with my step, and I can guide her with just a hand on her ear. Then, we are both content.

    And then that feeling of "I am so blessed to have this horse" crowds out all the frustration I feel at what we can't do today. But it started with my own focus on what we can do, and choosing to feel blessed about it.

    And dream of cantering .....

    Good luck to you.



  12. #12
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    Jun. 4, 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by EqTrainer View Post
    Every once in a while I become discouraged about something and then I see a post here on COTH about someone's horse who died. That puts it all into perspective for me. Maybe try to think about others who have it much worse...
    This is very true I get very selfish. My horse still has a good chance at soundness and I am very very lucky for that! There are worse things than lameness!

    hows your grey doing?



  13. #13
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    Jan. 31, 2003
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    Default

    Thanks for asking. He is holding his own, not off the dex yet so we aren't sure but I have gotten to hack him around the farm for the last few days with my daughter... so that is enough, you know?

    Hang in there.
    "Kindness is free" ~ Eurofoal
    ---
    The CoTH CYA - please consult w/your veterinarian under any and all circumstances.



  14. #14
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    Jun. 4, 2006
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    Default You guys are awesome!

    You cheered me up quite a bit. I have to find the courage to rise past this slump and help others and just hours of grooming and handgrazing when I am not at work.

    EQ trainer I am glad you horse is doing better.



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Nov. 13, 2009
    Posts
    4,473

    Default

    Oh sweetie, I'm sorry you're feeling this way! I can relate, though my horse's injury is much more straightforward than yours - it is so frustrating when all you have are unanswered questions and worries. Just this morning, I had one of those "I can't do this anymore" moments and I sobbed throughout my 45 minute drive to work. It's okay to do that sometimes (though I actually don't recommend on the way to work, lol). But remember that all you can do is your best. I also agree with another poster that these are the moments in life that define us and teach us so much about ourselves and life. You'll make it through this, one way or another.



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Sep. 27, 2000
    Location
    Southern California - on a freeway someplace
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    9,627

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    Try to picture a day when he won't be a rehab horse. You have to have some faith on some level that he will get better and you will get to have fun riding him. Or at least picture the two meeting some sort of a goal together. OK, this isn't coming out too coherently, but with Star it helped a lot to think about doing something besides trudging around hand-walking him. That the day would come. B/c if there's no hope it's too easy to give up.

    Writing about it helped. Having another horse to ride at the barn also definitely helped since that gave me something to do besides hand-walking a horse that didn't seem to be getting any sounder for months on end. And I didn't go thru nearly as much as you have with Fharoah.

    Hang in there.
    The Evil Chem Prof



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jan. 16, 2002
    Location
    West Coast of Michigan
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    Default

    It's so easy to link our moods and color our world with what's happening to our horses!

    You need to find, perhaps, some GOOD times with horses. Any way you could just GO RIDING with a friend, visit some foals, do something with horses that makes you smile?

    And when you spend time with yours, try to focus on the things you CAN make better: curry til he gleams, teach him some tricks, whatever.
    Click here before you buy.



  18. #18
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    Jun. 20, 2009
    Location
    Northeast Ohio, where mud rules your world...
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    Fharoah, i totally understand your frustration. If you are one that feels like horse life has no purpose without a goal, I suggest you get theeself a teach your horse tricks book...

    Seriously, go to the barn, stand in front of your horse and take a long hard look into your horse's eyes. Have a good long talk with said horse about your frustrations, your worries, your disappointments. Then vow to never have this discussion again until the health of said horse requires you to make a decision on the next course of treatment or lack thereof. Because, ya know what, your horse is the one dealing day in and day out with the mystery pain. So you need to keep in mind that your horse neeeeeeds this rest.

    Then crack out the book of tricks. They are low impact, thought provoking for you and the horse and they give you something to reach for.

    Teach horse how to push a ball with his nose. Bow, blow a kazoo, take a hat off your head. Anything to get your focus on a goal. besides, trick horses make everyone smile.

    Keep swimming - Dora, "finding nemo"



  19. #19
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    Jun. 30, 2005
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    I am in the same boat..........except my horse is going through acute Laminitis right now. I can totally understand your frustration. For me the biggest part is the unknown. At this point I don't even know if he will live much less be sound. I try not to think too far ahead and I am thankful for the little improvements and his good days. My main goal is getting him to where he can live and I don't care if I can ever ride him again.

    I don't know your barn situation but if you can have someone care for him for a bit to give yourself a break. I work alot so I took my gelding to my trainers so he could help me care for him. This way I can take care of my job and family and I know that my gelding is getting the best care possible at all times.

    Good luck!



  20. #20
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    Jun. 4, 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by Diamondindykin View Post
    I am in the same boat..........except my horse is going through acute Laminitis right now. I can totally understand your frustration. For me the biggest part is the unknown. At this point I don't even know if he will live much less be sound. I try not to think too far ahead and I am thankful for the little improvements and his good days. My main goal is getting him to where he can live and I don't care if I can ever ride him again.

    I don't know your barn situation but if you can have someone care for him for a bit to give yourself a break. I work alot so I took my gelding to my trainers so he could help me care for him. This way I can take care of my job and family and I know that my gelding is getting the best care possible at all times.

    Good luck!
    I really really hope your horse gets better, best wishes! Many jingles! I really hope your boy comes sound!



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