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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Sep. 14, 2007
    Location
    probably the barn
    Posts
    337

    Wink How to Drive Your Owner Crazy in 5 Easy Days

    How to Drive Your Owner Crazy in 6 Easy Days
    Brought to you by Cheyenne
    http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v5...y/IMG_0276.jpg

    Day 1
    Wait for a day when your owner is riding you and no one else is around. During your first lap at the trot, limp slightly for two steps then go back to normal. At this point, your confused owner should stop and get off and check your legs and hooves. If they do not, repeat random limps until the do. Once they have found nothing amiss, they may get back on to see how you feel or they may put you back. Either way don't limp again, this will add to the confusion.

    Day 2
    Act really sore when your owner brushes a certain area. Pick an area where soreness cannot be linked to any logical cause, like saddle fit, and be sure to act like you are in severe pain. When your owner gets someone else to look, act fine. Repeat as needed. Most likely, you will get the day off today, but if you do not, act normal. Remember we are trying to make them go crazy.

    Day 3
    Today show no soreness anywhere. If your owner rides you, be bad. I cation you not to actually try to dump them, as this might result in a reduced number of post ride treats, but pretend like you forgot how to bend. Pretend like you don't know how to use your butt. Oh and spook at random things that are not scary. Some good ones are the mounting block (after they are on and you have passed it 5 times), a random area of the arena that has not changed, and the other horses you are being ridden with. Your owner may get after you to behave, but think of the big picture here.

    Day 4
    Now comes the hard part, but you should get a day off for your troubles! Limp slightly every few step. Ideally, you want it to be just enough that some one who knows you will pick up on it, but others may miss it. This will make your owner remember the few lame steps on day 1 and think you were sore this whole time. They will feel guilty for making you work and will most likely give you extra treats! The truly devoted should hit their leg on something to induce a small amount of swelling. Be warned that your owner may decide to give you Bute. Bute is posion, so don't make it easy for them, remember, you can be a giraffe if you try!

    Day 5
    Demonstrate how good you feel to your owner by galloping around the field. Be sure to buck and rear often! Bonus points if you run straight at the fence until they think you are going to crash or jump before you finally stop. At this point, your owner should be ripping out their own hair. If they are not, you may need to wait a week and try the cycle again.


    For anyone wondering, Cheyenne is fine. There was actually a weekend she had off between Days 1 and 2, so I am fairly sure Day 1 was a footing issue and sometime while I was gone she slipped in the mud and managed to torque something slightly. All signs of soreness or lameness were gone today and she was back to normal under saddle.
    The Procrastinators Anonymous meeting has been postponed again.



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep. 18, 2005
    Posts
    2,405

    Default

    Too Funny...

    Keep lyme disease in mind as it can cause sporadic symptoms in some cases.
    Copyright ©2007-2012, Percheron X
    My creative work may be used on the COTH forum only.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Sep. 14, 2007
    Location
    probably the barn
    Posts
    337

    Default

    Thanks, I will but I really think its the mud, as Lyme doesn't really exist around us, and she has lived here her whole life. There was a *tiny* bit of swelling in one of her legs on Day 4, could only find it once she took a couple lame steps so I could actually pick out which foot it was. Sore spot was the same side, so I think she may have fallen or something. If it flares back up I will look into it.
    The Procrastinators Anonymous meeting has been postponed again.



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb. 10, 2005
    Location
    Louisville, KY
    Posts
    1,371

    Default

    Did you recently fill out an entry form?

    I've always found a direct correlation between my horse's unsoundness and the passing of the Closing Date for entries at a show...



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun. 7, 2008
    Location
    now in KCMO, and plan to stay there
    Posts
    3,131

    Default

    ROFL, what a clever horse! (Great writing by the human, too.)
    Jeanie
    RIP Sasha, best dog ever, pictured shortly before she died, Death either by euthanasia or natural causes is only the end of the animal inhabiting its body; I believe the spirit lives on.



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov. 18, 2004
    Location
    Catonsville, MD
    Posts
    6,914

    Default

    BigMick, too funny.
    I tolerate all kinds of animal idiosyncrasies.
    I've found that I don't tolerate people idiosyncrasies as well. - Casey09




  7. #7
    Join Date
    Sep. 14, 2007
    Location
    probably the barn
    Posts
    337

    Default

    I have not filled out an entry form, but the jumping arena did just dry out from the latest snow...
    The Procrastinators Anonymous meeting has been postponed again.



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Aug. 15, 2008
    Posts
    4,589

    Default

    GREAT writing. Now THAT'S funny!



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jun. 9, 2005
    Location
    On a little hill in Texas~
    Posts
    189

    Default

    That was funny! I'm curious, where'd you get that bridle? I love it!
    http://www.blackberryhill.webs.com/

    Sometimes you have to put your foot down to get a leg up!



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Nov. 12, 2009
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    1,375

    Default

    But she has such a sweet, innocent face....



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jun. 22, 2008
    Location
    Outside Ocala FL - Horse Capital of the World
    Posts
    6,190

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Shine View Post
    But she has such a sweet, innocent face....
    I agree, that is not the face with a devious mind behind it!
    There are friends and faces that may be forgotten, but there are horses that never will be. - Andy Adams



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Sep. 14, 2007
    Location
    probably the barn
    Posts
    337

    Default

    Don't let the face fool you, she plots!


    The bridle is a Dr Cook's Bitless Bridle, I got mine through their website (found by Googling) but I believe Dover carries them as well. It is wrapped in halter fuzzies.
    The Procrastinators Anonymous meeting has been postponed again.



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