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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec. 5, 2002
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    1,378

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    http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_c...s/icon_mad.gif Last night at the barn I was discussing a veterinary issue with 2 clients-the owners of the horse. They have spent astronomical amounts of money and unbelieveable amounts of time trying to solve their horse's lameness issues-but that is not the point....another boarder-not my client-walks into the office, plops her butt down in one of the other chairs-naturally, I stopped talking, looked at her and plesantly said, "Elizabeth, I am having a private conversation with Margaret and Anne."

    She says "oh, did you finally decide to put that nag down....."

    I popped my cork and threw her out of the office...the nerve of some people.

    First, not her horse, she is not the trainer, not the vet, and no one asked her for her input.

    I have seen more and more people, not just horse people, overstepping the bounds of what I consider to be polite, or even socially acceptable behavior...

    Like...when a was pregnant and complete strangers, even some casual acquaintences tried to touch my abdomen.....How dare they.

    Then at Target one day I bought desitin diaper rash ointment, diapers, condoms, tampons, duct tape, and corn oil-the clerk-an older man-asked me if I was having a bad day....just ring up my stuff and keep your comments to yourself....

    I had to cancel my lessons for a couple of days because my father, who is very elderly and in poor health was having some in patient testing done in the hospital....

    When I returned to the barn, one of the horse show mom's asked me how my father was feeling...I repled "He is tired but resting comfortably"....then she asks me..."Well what were the test results"....My jaw dropped...

    This woman is not a relative and does not even know my father....what right does she have to ask about his test results....I thought it was very thoughtful of her to inquire about his health, but asking for specifics is just over the top.....

    I guess I have to stop this rant it could go on for ever....but...

    Here is my question-has anyone else experienced an increase in "inquiring minds want to know"....

    What do you do about it.

    My new barn mantra...MYOB MYOB
    West of nowhere



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec. 5, 2002
    Posts
    1,378

    Default

    http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_c...s/icon_mad.gif Last night at the barn I was discussing a veterinary issue with 2 clients-the owners of the horse. They have spent astronomical amounts of money and unbelieveable amounts of time trying to solve their horse's lameness issues-but that is not the point....another boarder-not my client-walks into the office, plops her butt down in one of the other chairs-naturally, I stopped talking, looked at her and plesantly said, "Elizabeth, I am having a private conversation with Margaret and Anne."

    She says "oh, did you finally decide to put that nag down....."

    I popped my cork and threw her out of the office...the nerve of some people.

    First, not her horse, she is not the trainer, not the vet, and no one asked her for her input.

    I have seen more and more people, not just horse people, overstepping the bounds of what I consider to be polite, or even socially acceptable behavior...

    Like...when a was pregnant and complete strangers, even some casual acquaintences tried to touch my abdomen.....How dare they.

    Then at Target one day I bought desitin diaper rash ointment, diapers, condoms, tampons, duct tape, and corn oil-the clerk-an older man-asked me if I was having a bad day....just ring up my stuff and keep your comments to yourself....

    I had to cancel my lessons for a couple of days because my father, who is very elderly and in poor health was having some in patient testing done in the hospital....

    When I returned to the barn, one of the horse show mom's asked me how my father was feeling...I repled "He is tired but resting comfortably"....then she asks me..."Well what were the test results"....My jaw dropped...

    This woman is not a relative and does not even know my father....what right does she have to ask about his test results....I thought it was very thoughtful of her to inquire about his health, but asking for specifics is just over the top.....

    I guess I have to stop this rant it could go on for ever....but...

    Here is my question-has anyone else experienced an increase in "inquiring minds want to know"....

    What do you do about it.

    My new barn mantra...MYOB MYOB
    West of nowhere



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug. 19, 2001
    Location
    Rixeyville/Culpeper, VA
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    3,448

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    Yes - & although I definitely would not say that I haven't been guilty of such behavior myself, I do at least TRY to think before engaging my mouth - lol!

    The favorite supposedly "helpful" comment sent in my direction, was - after my 2nd leg surgery - "why didn't I just get rid of all of my horses, since it was obvious that I was always going to be a "cripple"". Yeah - just what I needed to hear - a real spirit-booster. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_c.../icon_razz.gif

    My body is a temple - unfortunately, it's a "fixer-upper".



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul. 1, 2003
    Location
    From under a pile of jack russells
    Posts
    140

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    I hear ya, especially about the boarder plopping her butt on the couch and spewing nonsence.

    And I have to say, while if I were your check out person, I would not have said a peep (and I hate it when they feel the need to comment on my purchases), that IS one amusing list.
    &&&Natural Blonde, Please Speak Slowly&&&



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan. 10, 2002
    Location
    Area VIII, Region 2, Zone 5.
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    6,368

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    Rocky, there is a severe shortage of manners in the world today. People don't stop to consider others' feelings before they open their mouths (or pat you on the abdomen http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_c...n_rolleyes.gif ), and then are nonplussed when the object of their rudeness is unhappy. I don't know whether it will ever change. http://chronicleforums.com/images/cu...ilies/sigh.gif

    SillyHorse
    ~ I'm probably on John Ashcroft's enemies list. At any rate, he's on mine. ~


    über was sprechen Sie, Willis?

    Quote Originally Posted by Linny View Post
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  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan. 27, 2003
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    CA
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    I've got to say I agree, for the most part. but I also have to add that it's our or our parents own da%* fault. Most people are a product of their environment.

    My Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/user/slorugbug
    Keith: "Now...let's do something normal fathers and daughters do."
    Veronica: "Buy me a pony?"



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb. 6, 2003
    Location
    NorthEast
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    Amen Rugbug! If it's not the baby-boomer parents faults for raising their kids by "feel good" standards or trying to do it through Dr Spock books...then it's the kids growing up through what THEY term the "Age of Enlightenment" and what I term the "Age of Irresponsibility." For crying out loud, the other week on TV there was an expose on America's newest 'severe disorder.' They called it ODD. Oppositional Defiance Disorder. In laymen's terms, it was speeled out as a 'disease or disorder' where toddlers, children and even adults say "no" when given a direct order or a chore to do! Argh! You gotta be kidding me!If it IS a disorder, then my mother is a frikkin genius. All 6 of her kids had it as toddlers. It was either grounded or spanked right out of us by childhood, LOL! No need for therapy and drugs. http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_c.../icon_wink.gif

    People are more rude today, they think EVERYTHING is their business...and IMO the worst: They seem to think they are entitled to anything they want, without working for it and without ever accepting responsibility for any of their actions. Ugh! I'm hoping there's at least a few of us these days raising normal kids, or we're in deep doo-doo when it comes time for these people to take care of us.

    And the belly rubbing comment did crack me up...happened all the time with me when I was expecting too. With seniors, I didn't mind so much. I was raised to respect my elders. But with anyone else...I would either rub their belly back and ask "Ooo, pizza or cookie dough?" or "Honey, no matter how much you rub that, no genie is going to pop out!"

    Equine Crash Test Dummy
    Member of: Non-GPA Clique
    80's Clique
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    You jump in the saddle,
    Hold onto the bridle!
    Jump in the line!
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  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct. 14, 2003
    Location
    Florida
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    1,453

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    MistyBlue, whenever you decide to get out of real estate, you should get a column of your own!! I swear, your comments are always spot-on, interesting, and usually hilarious to boot!

    I hope I've got half your insight by the time I have kids...
    Custom and semi-custom washable wool felt saddle pads!
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    1 members found this post helpful.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Nov. 19, 2003
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    270

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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by SillyHorse:
    Rocky, there is a severe shortage of manners in the world today. People don't stop to consider others' feelings before they open their mouths (or pat you on the abdomen http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_c...n_rolleyes.gif ), and then are nonplussed when the object of their rudeness is unhappy. I don't know whether it will ever change. http://chronicleforums.com/images/cu...ilies/sigh.gif

    _SillyHorse
    ~ I'm probably on John Ashcroft's enemies list. At any rate, he's on mine. ~_

    über was sprechen Sie, Willis?

    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>



    I doubt it will get better, it just seems to get worse. http://chronicleforums.com/images/custom_smilies/no.gif



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan. 1, 2002
    Location
    Harford County, Maryland, USA
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    ah yes......well, with people I know, I can sometimes be human and insensitive as anyone else. BUT.....there is a difference between that and rudeness!

    I was always fond of Miss Manners column when I was in school, and I'd say some of that advice might apply to the situations you described. The raised eyebrow and cold, quiet "I'm so sorry, I didn't realize I'd asked for your input" often quiets most people. Or else try the more direct "was that necessary?"

    People seem to have forgotten that simple, basic statements are not only fine as replies, they exist for a reason. "I hope things are going better" for someone in rough times or illness; "let me know if you'd like to talk" -- these basics are acceptable. And a simple "no, thank you" as a response does not give the inquirer a right to issue the third degree on "why not?"

    *sigh* I think it's all about personal responsibility ultimately. No one wants to bother with any of it, including being responsible for what they say. Sad thing....



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Nov. 7, 2003
    Location
    Manassas, Va
    Posts
    211

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    There are people in the barn that I ride at that will blab if they even hear a peep of info about someone buying a horse, or how much it costs. It's aggrivating when people walk up and say "is your pony for sale?" We always reply, "talk to our coach" sometimes people persist on knowing the information.

    Then there's people who will hear one comment about what is going on in the barn that is not supposed to be talked about and they'll tell the person they're NOT supposed to tell. It just frustrates me that people dont mind their own business. http://chronicleforums.com/images/cu...ilies/sigh.gif

    Page and Callie
    Page and Callie



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Jul. 15, 2003
    Location
    Ramona, ca usa
    Posts
    670

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    I know exactly what you mean!!! Gosh, I thought I was just being over sensitive or something!!! I swear, these people sound like they came out of a crackjack box!!! Are they for real or what?? I guess so...

    Kim :-)

    See my pics!! http://community.webshots.com/user/siennamama
    Kim :-)

    Shady Tree Training Stables
    www.shadytreehorses.com



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Aug. 8, 2003
    Location
    Park City, Utah
    Posts
    794

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    I think it could get better. I am from the Gen X crowd but my mother still taught me and my brother manners - yes ma'am, sir etc - giving up your seat to someone who needs it more then you do. I think there are a lot of snot nosed kids that learn it from bad parents or friends and then parents don't fix it. I know that my children (when I have them many years from now http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_c.../icon_wink.gif ) will act polite and respectful. It doesn't have to get worse!!!

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    GO BUFFS!!! "F*&! 'Em up, F*&! 'Em up - GO CU!!"
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  14. #14
    Join Date
    Nov. 23, 1999
    Location
    South Coast Plaza
    Posts
    20,249

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    Reminds me of a gal who boards on my row, who said it was no wonder Willem had laminitis, he was overweight. I could not give a polite reply, unfortunately, and did demonstrate my ability to conjugate the eff word.

    Sorry that this happened to you. It is scary, and one sees it all the time, how people think it is perfectly acceptable to walk up when the vet is looking and your horse and either give their opinion, butt in and ask what is going on, or ask questions about their own horse's well being. Kind of like asking doctors for medical advice or attorneys for legal advice, but then much much worse.
    EDDIE WOULD GO



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Feb. 23, 1999
    Location
    Tucson, AZ
    Posts
    4,294

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    <BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>The raised eyebrow and cold, quiet "I'm so sorry, I didn't realize I'd asked for your input" often quiets most people. Or else try the more direct "was that necessary?"
    <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

    I wish I could raise an eyebrow. Is there an emoticon for raising an eyebrow?



    My Photo Albums

    "When I bestride him, I soar, I am a hawk: he trots the air; the earth sings when he touches it; the basest horn of his hoof is more musical than the pipe of Hermes."
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  16. #16
    Join Date
    Nov. 23, 1999
    Location
    South Coast Plaza
    Posts
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    No, but there is a hand signal for it, LOL!
    EDDIE WOULD GO



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Feb. 17, 2000
    Location
    PA
    Posts
    3,483

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    My question is why do you let it get to you?

    The clerk trying to be nice, the HS mom feeling friendly toward you (even if you don't). These are people in your day that did nothing wrong. You are having a bad day, you are entitled we all are but don't take it out on the people around you and don't let the insignificant things get to you.

    As far as the girl that sat her butt on the couch and lacked common sense, was the door closed?



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Jan. 27, 2003
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    10,361

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    But JRG,

    Why are people taking these liberties? Why can't someone read a situation and see that they shouldn't be involved. Why do people think it's their right to know very private information?

    Kids are treated more and more like adults (before they are ready to be) and aren't taught proper social etiquette. There are teens at my barn who think they are my peers. They are not and should not treat me as such. We can talk and have fun, but at a certain point, I am the adult. when I nicely tell a lesson kid that her pony is tied too long or that she shouldn't walk away from the horse without rolling her stirrups up, I expect compliance, not rolling eyes and a defiant storm off (yes, it's happened). I give them respect deserving on their age and abilities, they should do the same for me.

    If the little things aren't addressed, they continue on, usually growing in severity. The little things do matter....

    My Pictures: http://community.webshots.com/user/slorugbug
    Keith: "Now...let's do something normal fathers and daughters do."
    Veronica: "Buy me a pony?"



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Feb. 6, 2003
    Location
    NorthEast
    Posts
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    Grasshopper...aw thanks for the compliment! Although when I get out of real estate (soon, too!) it'll be to be a stay at home equine mom, LOL!

    I also REALLY wish I could raise one eyebrow. It just enhances a sarcastic reply soooo well. My mother and 2 of my sister's can raise a single eyebrow with the best of them. *sigh* I've tried and tried...to the point of practically pulling muscles in my forehead. Can't do it.
    Miss Manners is a hero of mine! Right up there with Letitia Bladridge and Emily Post! (also adore Helpful Hints from Heloise too, but she's more for fixing mess-ups then social skills)

    Equine Crash Test Dummy
    Member of: Non-GPA Clique
    80's Clique
    Connecticut Clique
    Helmet Nazi Clique
    You jump in the saddle,
    Hold onto the bridle!
    Jump in the line!
    ...Belefonte



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Mar. 6, 2003
    Location
    Denver, CO, USA
    Posts
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    OK. I'll admit to sometimes being guilty of the tummy thing.

    I don't know why, but when I see a pregnant acquaintance, I WANT TO TOUCH HER BELLY!!!!!

    Babies are SO COOL! And so is being pregnant http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_c...icon_smile.gif

    But yeah, the other two things are also very rude. At least I haven't been guilty of those http://chronicleforums.com/groupee_c...icon_smile.gif

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