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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Oct. 8, 2009
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    Arroyo Grande,CA
    Posts
    116

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    " I imagine that you must have good level ground, I can't imagine even manuvering a chair out here, we are right on a BIG hill. All the pastures and the paddock are on quite an incline. But maybe when the time comes I will be somewhere different, it seems to be the way it goes."


    You might laugh but I live on top of a hill:-) The house and barn are pretty much on the same level a bit down to the barn but not bad, my Arena and turn out is down at the bottom. Access to it is a gate at the barn. I have concrete sidewalks from house to barn all gates to turnouts and pens open on to sidewalks. Horses learn to be caught they have to come to the gate. Wash rack is on concrete.

    Packed road base works also to wheel on. I have mountain bike tires on my chair. You often just have to think creatively. To make things easier, I feed a pellets rather then hay (I can feed it from my chair) and the manure breaks down easier and there is less of it. I have all automatic waterers so I don't have to haul hoses and fill waters. Just check them to make sure they are working. The places I do have water tubs I have installed spigots close so I don't have to haul a hose. I have a gator to get around down to my arena for when I teach lessons. So sometimes it is an adjustment but next time you move think about what you might need. Rubber mats, sheets of plywood, all sorts of things work to make a muddy or sandy place accesible:-)

    I'm happy the thing with your Dr. was just a mis-understanding. Good luck.

    Diane



  2. #22

    Thumbs up

    I am happy to hear that the letter was sent to you in error and that everything has been cleared up

    I really appreciate you clarifying several things 1) that the letter was not an attempt to replace you with "a better client", 2) that the letter was written by an attorney and not a vengeful letter...in fact it was not even regarding your case. To suggest otherwise and as many posters interpreted it...it places medicine/doctors in a bad light...to those that don't know the full story.

    I am an RN who works at a very busy ER and my husband is also a physician. I really believe that 99.9% of physicians act wholly in the patient's best interest. Sometimes that DOES mean telling people what they do not want to hear...but it is honest and it is their duty to their patients. And yes, the medical community is wholly embarrassed when someone like Michael Jackson's doctor (that 0.1%) practices unsafe, assinine medicine that is the heart of a media explosion.

    Emergency departments do not refuse care of anyone. One of my co-workers was assaulted by an HIV/Hep C + prostitute/patient that had stabbed herself during a bad drug trip (street drugs) and was bleeding everywhere. Not a great situation, it certainly would cause the average business owner to consider refusing service. That is not an option in ED medicine. The nurse called security, put on gloves and isolation gown, and continued working to save the woman's life. We are not there to judge our patients...we are there to save their lives and make them well. And we are proud of our calling to do that.

    Sister...you shoveling...is probably the least of your doctor's tribulations in life...He is only upset for YOUR SAKE because he DOES want you to have long term quality of life and is clearly concerned that you "over-do"!

    As your doctor indicated and you have now confirmed...patients simply do not get fired "for shoveling snow". In order for you to be "fired" there would have to be a lot more to the story... the most routine thing I see patients get fired for- from visiting docs is 1) no-showing repeatedly, 2) selling/falsifying Rx/pain medications, or 3) driving under the influence of narcotics. (The latter two will also involve the police). I'm sure you would never do those things. Those things rarely happen...which is why it is rare for patients to be fired.

    I do want to clarify one thing- There is nothing wrong with taking any type of prescribed pain medicine as prescribed. There is also nothing wrong with taking prescribed medical marijuana. I did not mean to imply that and apologize if it could be construed that way. Typically- if a patient is sick enough to be prescribed medical marijuana, they are on some very significant other medications for a very serious illness- which was the only reason I jumped to "narcotics". "Narcotic" is not a bad word and should not have a negative implication in and of itself- for any of you not familiar with prescription! I am glad to hear that you are able to find relief and trust that your doctor handles what you need appropriately.

    Again...back to the heart of the matter...be honest with your doc and I am really happy to hear everything has worked out. I really do wish you the best quality of life you can possibly have...it is why I get up and go to work in the morning



  3. #23
    Join Date
    Jul. 23, 2007
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    892

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    Quote Originally Posted by Invite View Post
    I was truly worried about you and wishing we could get you to my doctors. It is so nice to know you are also blessed with a dr who understands your need to fight and continue your way of life in order to live. My doctors are happy to have a fighter. I have been told if I weren't so hard headed and such a fighter that I would probably be bedridden. I'm happy knowing there is another tough cookie who is taking charge of her life rather then letting life take charge of her. You go girl! I'll be here rooting for you
    PS: I think it is so awesome that you take the time to knit sweaters for little ones rather than focusing on your on pain. You are truly kind!!!
    Made my day too!!
    I am glad you are a fighter, but I have to say one thing. My Mom recently passed away after 3 long years of illness. I sometimes wish she had Asked for my help more often.....please remember it is not always a "bad" thing to ask for help. The people that love you are sometimes lost as to what they can do to help and need to be asked so they don't feel they are insulting you. And the up side of their help....more energy for horses!!
    Adriane
    Happily retired but used to be:
    www.ParrotNutz.com



  4. #24
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    Nov. 20, 2008
    Location
    NJ
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    2,195

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    Waning Moon-I am so happy to hear the outcome! I was waiting to post something and it's great that you do have an understanding and respectful doctor! If not, I was going to suggest to keep looking until you found someone who wants to help you stay independent.

    My mom is also a tough cookie. Please please please let your kids know if you need help. Maybe they can come up with solutions to make life easier-but they won't know if you don't tell them. I would feel horrible if my mom had such a tough time and didn't ask for my help!

    I know that you are independent and self-reliant and I think that is a wonderful attribute. But I would not think any less of you if you were to let others help you with the really difficult things like shoveling the driveway or housework. You are obviously not taking advantage of anyone. If having help in those areas keeps you healthier for a longer period of time, please consider this.

    Stay positive. I admire the fighters, too. You all give me inspiration and I'd love to meet a lot of the folks who post here!!



  5. #25
    Join Date
    May. 15, 2007
    Location
    NY State
    Posts
    363

    Default What a relief!

    So glad it turned out this way!
    Last edited by CharingHounds; Jan. 14, 2010 at 06:55 PM. Reason: typo



  6. #26
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    Sep. 13, 2008
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    Vermont
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    Quote Originally Posted by Movin Artfully View Post
    I am happy to hear that the letter was sent to you in error and that everything has been cleared up

    I really appreciate you clarifying several things 1) that the letter was not an attempt to replace you with "a better client", 2) that the letter was written by an attorney and not a vengeful letter...in fact it was not even regarding your case. To suggest otherwise and as many posters interpreted it...it places medicine/doctors in a bad light...to those that don't know the full story.

    I am an RN who works at a very busy ER and my husband is also a physician. I really believe that 99.9% of physicians act wholly in the patient's best interest. Sometimes that DOES mean telling people what they do not want to hear...but it is honest and it is their duty to their patients. And yes, the medical community is wholly embarrassed when someone like Michael Jackson's doctor (that 0.1%) practices unsafe, assinine medicine that is the heart of a media explosion.

    Emergency departments do not refuse care of anyone. One of my co-workers was assaulted by an HIV/Hep C + prostitute/patient that had stabbed herself during a bad drug trip (street drugs) and was bleeding everywhere. Not a great situation, it certainly would cause the average business owner to consider refusing service. That is not an option in ED medicine. The nurse called security, put on gloves and isolation gown, and continued working to save the woman's life. We are not there to judge our patients...we are there to save their lives and make them well. And we are proud of our calling to do that.

    Sister...you shoveling...is probably the least of your doctor's tribulations in life...He is only upset for YOUR SAKE because he DOES want you to have long term quality of life and is clearly concerned that you "over-do"!

    As your doctor indicated and you have now confirmed...patients simply do not get fired "for shoveling snow". In order for you to be "fired" there would have to be a lot more to the story... the most routine thing I see patients get fired for- from visiting docs is 1) no-showing repeatedly, 2) selling/falsifying Rx/pain medications, or 3) driving under the influence of narcotics. (The latter two will also involve the police). I'm sure you would never do those things. Those things rarely happen...which is why it is rare for patients to be fired.

    I do want to clarify one thing- There is nothing wrong with taking any type of prescribed pain medicine as prescribed. There is also nothing wrong with taking prescribed medical marijuana. I did not mean to imply that and apologize if it could be construed that way. Typically- if a patient is sick enough to be prescribed medical marijuana, they are on some very significant other medications for a very serious illness- which was the only reason I jumped to "narcotics". "Narcotic" is not a bad word and should not have a negative implication in and of itself- for any of you not familiar with prescription! I am glad to hear that you are able to find relief and trust that your doctor handles what you need appropriately.

    Again...back to the heart of the matter...be honest with your doc and I am really happy to hear everything has worked out. I really do wish you the best quality of life you can possibly have...it is why I get up and go to work in the morning
    I am also very glad this was a mixup. Thank you for explaining your thoughts to me. I agree. I do feel most doctors do their best and really do care. This one I have really sticks his neck out for those who deserve it. He does A LOT of free work for the refugees, runs a substance abuse clinic, does lots of important research, runs many clinical drug trials, and public outreach programs. I do believe he also has had some of his research published in , oh, the name is escaping me right now, the journal of medicine thing they have. He's a very busy man and I much appreciated his call. We end up talking quite often. I email him my blood sugar results monthly. I live an hour and a half away and only get down for an actual visit twice a yr as nothing bothers me more than being in a car. He mails my scripts to me.

    I find the Michael Jackson thing just sickening. Yup, he had trouble sleeping. Okay. But jeez, just because he has all the money anyone could want does not justify him being able to obtain drugs that are only supposed to be used in a hosp setting, nor should there have been a doc willing to do this available. I am glad he is being prosecuted. There could have been other solutions to his problem of not sleeping. Treating it with those type of drugs was wrong to begin with I believe when you are dealing with someone who already had a drug problem.

    It is a very tough call for doctors and it is no surprise that there will be decisions made as to the prescription of drugs that are not the right ones. Docs, have to try to decipher who actually NEEDS pain help and who is seeking it for other reasons. And that is one tough call these days. I was in no way treated properly for the 23 yrs before my diagnosis. AFter being diagnosed I got all sorts of "Im so sorrys" from the docs who had been treating me, or not treating me I should say. I'd get like, oh my, if we had only known, why of course you are in horrid pain. They COULD have known. I Couldn't even get one to order tests. I went to the Er and had all my medical record with me, showing how I had had 5 major surguries with NO pain meds. I thought that showed how tough I was and maybe offered a bit of proof that I wasnt there seeking drugs. Our area had a HUGE drug problem for hte size of the population and they need to be weary yes, but I was in horrid pain and could find no help for 23 fricken yrs. That is NOT right. It caused all sorts of problems for me, all sorts.

    But all those "IM sorries" did little to make me feel any better about how I was treated. Just being who I am, decided a lot of that I feel. I don't have or want fancy clothes. I am very down to earth. But it truly seemed like these er ppl would look at me and figure I WAS seeking drugs and was there for no other reason. This assumption was just so untrue and so unfair to me who was suffering so very much. Profiling ppl by how they look has no place in medicine I feel. What is the answer, I have not a clue. I do know it is not right for ppl to go through what I have just to get diagnosed and treated. Say nothing about the fact that had I got diagnosed earlier, like when I was 19 and this came about, there may have been some kind of treatment for me. Now they say there is nothing that can be done. NOt a candidate for surgery, supportive care is all they can do Im told. I have severe spinal stenosis with a good deal of resultant permanent nerve damage. I have three herniated discs, did have four, but due to the fact I have degenerative disc disease one had now deteriorated away, and is no longer a bother, but I am told once that last little chip of it is gone the excruciatiing pain will return, or it likely will. I also have degenerative joint disease and diabetes. My right leg/foot has been knumb for 20 yrs and there are times where I lose all feeling from thigh down. Once I had NO feeling in it for 5 months. REal fun I tell ya.

    Med marijuana does for sure help, especially with the nerve pain. The narcotics don't seem to help a lot with that for me. Here the med mar law is mostly bullshit. There is nothing in place to help you with obtaining it. Of course what is going on in Cal is just absolutely foolish. That is way beyond being any kind of right. My personal feelings on the subject, is that it should be legal for all, but it is not. IN CAl they hand it out to anyone for anything it seems. Think Arnold needs to get a bit of control over it. Here, all being on the registry does is prevent you from being prosecuted in this state. there is no where where you can buy it. You can grow a tiny bit, not enough to get you through to the next batch as they don't let you grow enough. Their definition of a mature plant is just crazy. And there is no program to help buy the equipment needed to grow it. I have finally obtained enough to get a start on it now. I have always had a real green thumb so no trouble there. I have pics of my first batch that would put what's seen in the mags to shame. But you are on your own here, no help, no cannabis clubs, not even a free seed. And on some days, depending on pain source, it is much more helpful than the narcotics are.

    Thank you for your support. I am glad to know where you are coming from now, as the first post just kind of rubbed me the wrong way. I now see you seem to be a very nice, supportive and educated person who is NOT against me. I have been very surprised how this thread has turned out. It is nice to see how ppl can be here. Too often things go the other way.



  7. #27
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    Sep. 13, 2008
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    Vermont
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    Quote Originally Posted by cadriver View Post
    " I imagine that you must have good level ground, I can't imagine even manuvering a chair out here, we are right on a BIG hill. All the pastures and the paddock are on quite an incline. But maybe when the time comes I will be somewhere different, it seems to be the way it goes."


    You might laugh but I live on top of a hill:-) The house and barn are pretty much on the same level a bit down to the barn but not bad, my Arena and turn out is down at the bottom. Access to it is a gate at the barn. I have concrete sidewalks from house to barn all gates to turnouts and pens open on to sidewalks. Horses learn to be caught they have to come to the gate. Wash rack is on concrete.

    Packed road base works also to wheel on. I have mountain bike tires on my chair. You often just have to think creatively. To make things easier, I feed a pellets rather then hay (I can feed it from my chair) and the manure breaks down easier and there is less of it. I have all automatic waterers so I don't have to haul hoses and fill waters. Just check them to make sure they are working. The places I do have water tubs I have installed spigots close so I don't have to haul a hose. I have a gator to get around down to my arena for when I teach lessons. So sometimes it is an adjustment but next time you move think about what you might need. Rubber mats, sheets of plywood, all sorts of things work to make a muddy or sandy place accesible:-)

    I'm happy the thing with your Dr. was just a mis-understanding. Good luck.

    Diane
    Wow, sounds like you have a very nice set-up there and very manageable with a wheelchair. That is no nice for you. I really can't see being able to fix things up like that for myself when teh time comes, unfortunately I just don't have the funds.

    Oh mud, jeez, yah, know a bit about that. I have found that old carpets work very well too. I didn't even bury the one I put right in front of their barn door last spring. They didn't even try to move it. I wanted to be able to remove it easily once things dried up. My little mini donkey immediately figured I had put that out there just for him and it became his napping spot.

    I am sure you have discovered all sorts of crafty ways to accomplish getting things done that most of us would not ever even think of. Good for you. I hope to see posts from you, it is very inspiring to someone who will end up in the same boat(chair) as you, and see how great they are doing.



  8. #28
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    Sep. 13, 2008
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    Vermont
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    Quote Originally Posted by Parrotnutz View Post
    Made my day too!!
    I am glad you are a fighter, but I have to say one thing. My Mom recently passed away after 3 long years of illness. I sometimes wish she had Asked for my help more often.....please remember it is not always a "bad" thing to ask for help. The people that love you are sometimes lost as to what they can do to help and need to be asked so they don't feel they are insulting you. And the up side of their help....more energy for horses!!
    I know you are right. It is very hard when you are as stubborn and independent as I am. I realize it myself, first step, right? Now, I've just got to do it, easier said than done. But Im working on it, kind of.



  9. #29
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    Sep. 13, 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by mkevent View Post
    Waning Moon-I am so happy to hear the outcome! I was waiting to post something and it's great that you do have an understanding and respectful doctor! If not, I was going to suggest to keep looking until you found someone who wants to help you stay independent.

    My mom is also a tough cookie. Please please please let your kids know if you need help. Maybe they can come up with solutions to make life easier-but they won't know if you don't tell them. I would feel horrible if my mom had such a tough time and didn't ask for my help!

    I know that you are independent and self-reliant and I think that is a wonderful attribute. But I would not think any less of you if you were to let others help you with the really difficult things like shoveling the driveway or housework. You are obviously not taking advantage of anyone. If having help in those areas keeps you healthier for a longer period of time, please consider this.

    Stay positive. I admire the fighters, too. You all give me inspiration and I'd love to meet a lot of the folks who post here!!
    I do agree. Now, with many things, due to kids working, there is no one to help if I did want help.

    Asking for help is not something I am good at. It would be very hard to do. I am terrible though sometimes about this. An ex would be the other day. I could hardly even move, and certainly not in any normal uprightish manner. Two daughters WERE here. They could plainly see I was getting ready to go out and do the manure picking chores. I received no offer of help. I went out and did it, and hurt like hell while I was. Then I come in, hurting, and upset that to me it seemed like they didn't care or they would have offered to help. Then they look at me with sweat dripping off my face and say wow, you sure are sweaty. And me... I start in with the , well if I had any help...... And I hate it that I do that, but I do. I don't know why but I do. But to me, for gods sakes they ought to be able to tell that i needed help that day, and offered, I should not have had to ask. Am I wrong in thinking this? Do you kids still need that, to be asked? Is that what Im missing? I do work to try and change this, after its done , being a piss ant about doing it myself stuff. I am far from perfect. I mean, there have been times where I hurt so much I can't think and have said to a daughter, I don't know if I CAN get whatever it is that needs doing, done. And not get an offer. Do kids have a NEED to be asked? I think some of not wanting to ask is that I don't want to ask and have them not do it. Then I would feel bad that they don't care enough to want to help. I have dealt with a lot in life and try to avoid situations where I will feel hurt. I do WAY MORE for my kids, still, than I have the means to be doing for sure. Or healthy enough to either. Since birth I have watched my little grandaughter two days a week. She comes on mon and goes home tuesday night. Sometimes, I feel so awful I don't know how IM going to do it, but I do, and I so enjoy her. I would rather hurt more and care for her, than to feel a bit better and go without her. I have four grandkids and they are my life. But only one lives close by.

    So help me figure this out, you seem to have an understanding of what kids want/ expect/ require as far as helping, enlighten me please. What is it I am doing wrong? How do you kids best like being approached for help? I do know I am wrong to do it myself and then come in and complain that I did. That is just one of my stupid things that I am working on. I'll beat it, I've beaten much worse. Ideas?



  10. #30
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    Sep. 13, 2008
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    Quote Originally Posted by CharingHounds View Post
    So glad it turned out this way!
    Thanks, me too.



  11. #31
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    Oct. 2, 2007
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    Beyond the pale.
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    Wow, which soapbox to climb on?

    OKay, I'll pick two.

    Waning moon, your opening post paints your physician in a very unflattering light. There is an edit function and you may wish to use it. I know if I was your doctor and read that, it would really change the way I felt about you as a patient, knowing how you felt. I know you say very nice thigns about them in your later posts, but just like his "sorries" don't make up for your hurt feelings about the letter mistakenly getting to you, leaving that up may be very hurtful to someone one day.

    Second: the whole "medical marijuana issue".<rant having nothing to do with the OP> It's a naturally growing weed, adapts to many different climates and whoever needed some could easily grow enough for their own uses in a pot in their living room with a single grow lamp, even in the arctic. There is so little real medical problem with it being unregulated, unlike things like meth or coke or heroin or even tobacco and alcohol, that we should never be wasting our tax money making and enforcing laws about it. And we should certainly NOT, in this day and age of doctor shortages and increasing medical costs, be WASTING DOCTOR'S TIME WITH WRITING SCRIPT FOR IT. <end rant>
    "The Threat of Internet Ignorance: ... we are witnessing the rise of an age of equestrian disinformation, one where a trusting public can graze on nonsense packaged to look like fact."-LRG-AF



  12. #32
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    Sep. 7, 2009
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    Lexington, KY
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    Quote Originally Posted by Laurierace View Post
    Keep looking until you find a doctor that understands that quality of life is more important to you than quantity of life and are willing to support your decision. You don't need someone telling you what you can't do but instead helping you figure out how to do what is important to you. It sounds like your activities are going to take a huge toll on your body and you will pay for it in the end but that is your decision to make, not the doctors. If I had a nickel for every doctor that told me I could never ride again....
    What she said!

    In my experience, with friends and relatives, there are very few doctors out there willing to go the extra mile and actually try to help you do what you want and need to do. It's much easier to write a prescription than to search out a solution. When you do find the perfect doctor (and they are out there), hold on tight!



  13. #33
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    Sep. 7, 2009
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    Quote Originally Posted by vacation1 View Post
    I can understand a doctor being distressed by a patient's decision to not follow his medical advice, and hastening a physical decline. To me, it's the doctor's right to say "Look, I can't handle watching this happen and I feel it's unethical to continue treating you. Please find another health care provider. Good luck, it's been good knowing you, and I wish you the best."

    If the doctor's letter truly contains the passage from the OP, he's a jerk. He does his best to heap guilt on the patient - you're taking up valuable patient space, you're wasting my time, you're a worthless patient unless you agree to follow my advice to prolong but limit your independence. The very nicest way you can read it is that he's using 'tough love' to try to get the OP to come back to him as an obedient patient. And even that is just inappropriate.
    In a perfect world, no one would get sick or hurt. The mere act of living, getting out of bed, driving a car, competing in a sport, is dangerous to your health. Who gets to decide which activities and life styles are more important than others? Should obese people be "fired" by their doctors and on the other extreme anorexics? Should jockeys be fired by their doctors? What about smokers? What about horsemen/women with multiple injures? Just saying, there is no right or wrong answer. I would say that my doctor's job is to keep me as healthy as possible while allowing me to live my life to the fullest extent possible.



  14. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by CatOnLap View Post
    Wow, which soapbox to climb on?

    OKay, I'll pick two.

    Waning moon, your opening post paints your physician in a very unflattering light. There is an edit function and you may wish to use it. I know if I was your doctor and read that, it would really change the way I felt about you as a patient, knowing how you felt. I know you say very nice thigns about them in your later posts, but just like his "sorries" don't make up for your hurt feelings about the letter mistakenly getting to you, leaving that up may be very hurtful to someone one day.

    Second: the whole "medical marijuana issue".<rant having nothing to do with the OP> It's a naturally growing weed, adapts to many different climates and whoever needed some could easily grow enough for their own uses in a pot in their living room with a single grow lamp, even in the arctic. There is so little real medical problem with it being unregulated, unlike things like meth or coke or heroin or even tobacco and alcohol, that we should never be wasting our tax money making and enforcing laws about it. And we should certainly NOT, in this day and age of doctor shortages and increasing medical costs, be WASTING DOCTOR'S TIME WITH WRITING SCRIPT FOR IT. <end rant>
    Where I said the "sorries" meant little... I am not talking about my doctor NOW, but several over the 23 yrs where I went undiagnosed. And I thought that was pretty obvious. Jeez, sorry to have so bothered you, I was speaking with the lady who spent time answering and explaining this and that. Should have just sent her a pm.

    Figured it was about time for this to go bad. Im done here.



  15. #35
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    Waning Moon- I'm thinking of some possible answers to your question. I'll speak from my experience, I'm not sure if it can relate to what you're going through, but maybe it will help.

    I also try to be independent and not ask for help. The problem is that most people aren't observant enough to think beyond themselves and offer help. An example- I was in pharmaceutical sales for 17 years, so I sat in a lot of doctors offices. You'd can't believe how often someone would struggle with trying to open a door to get into the office and no one would help them. Here is a group of non disabled people who just watch a disabled or elderly person wrestling with a heavy door. They just don't think enough to get up and open the door for that person. As a society, I think we are becoming much less polite and much more self absorbed. BTW, I did finally start sitting by the door in offices so I could open the door for people that had a hard time with it. You have to actively train yourself to look for situations and help people out. Ten years ago I wouldn't have thought of opening the door, either-maybe I was too busy wrapped in my thoughts. If people do help, a sincere "thank you" is really all they need.

    I would say to your daughter," I'm having a really hard time today, do you think you can dump the wheelbarrow for me?". If you ask her directly and ask for help with a specific task, maybe she will begin to understand when you need help and when you want your independence. If they don't offer to help, be more direct and ask them flat out for it!! The worse they can do is say no.

    Ask the daughter that you babysit for to do something in exchange for helping her out. Maybe she can run a few errands for you before she picks the grandaughter up. You are both helping each other out-kind of a "you scratch my back, I'll scratch yours" type of arrangement.

    All I can say is that of all the people that I know, maybe 20% would be sensitive enough to help someone without being asked. Most people need to have the problem explained to them and then many will try to help find a solution with you.

    Could you maybe find a boarder/helper for the barnwork? Someone that could exchange work for board or riding time or whatever?

    Hope this helps!



  16. #36
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    I am so glad that this situation has a happy ending!

    I am lucky that my rheumatologist is supportive of my choices. I "push it" all the time, and I feel that I retain more function because of this. I also feel that I am living my life instead of marking time. So I do understand your position pretty well.

    There was a time in late '99-early '00 that my rheumatologist would ask me every time I came in "Did you sell that evil horse yet?" And whenever I went to the radiology group for routine (and I must confess, occasionally emergency) X-rays, I'd be greeted with a chorus: "sell that evil horse!" They were right--I had a horse that was beyond my abilities. But no one refused to treat me because of it.

    I finally did face reality and sell the horse, and pretty much gave up riding. But then I took up driving instead, and my doctors have been supportive. I think that's because they don't realize that it can be more dangerous than driving, but I haven't enlightened them! :-)

    At least with my current horses, I haven't had a single horse-induced emergency medical visit. I'd say that's pretty good as we are going on seven years together, including me training my current driving horse myself.

    Rebecca



  17. #37
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    Can I add something? As a daughter who lives 1000 miles away from her parents, and whose mother is battling some pretty worrisome and debilitating issues?

    Let your family help.

    My mother had a pinched nerve which resulted in sciatic pain and weakness/atrophy in one leg, which resulted in a fall leading to a broken hip. I was out of town when it happened, was ready to get on the next plane, and my mother said, "NO."

    My father has his own health issues, and I discovered this Christmas that for the three months she was in the hospital/rehab facility, my father was almost completely on his own. While I do have siblings, one of whom lives very close by, there were complicating issues. When I got back, I checked flights, and called and wanted to confirm when I would come back to visit. My mother refused. I actually made her cry - because she didn't want me to come back, and see her the way she is. It was too much effort for her to act as if things are "normal." I KNOW they're not normal. I accept that this is the way things are now, not happy about it, but I accept it. But I felt as if I could not offer to do anything for her, because it upset her so.

    My mother will be having surgery in the near future, and today she finally admitted it (I had figured out what was coming down the pike already), and she asked me to come in. Yes, it means reorganizing my students and deadlines, possibly teaching schedules. And you know what? I don't care. I WANT to be there.

    Please, give your family the chance to help. They may need to do so as much as you need them to help out!
    www.specialhorses.org
    a 501(c)3 organization helping 501(c)3 equine rescues




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