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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Feb. 23, 2008
    Posts
    4,266

    Default

    I love my current barn and all the boarders. Actually mostly loved all the other barns I boarded at. But I can throw in a few:

    Dear Dressage Diva: the solution to your horse opening his mouth is not to pull the noseband so tight it looks like he has a corset on his muzzle.

    Dear Nervous Nellie: creeping slowly and silently into the arena so as not to startle my horse is actually counterproductive.

    Dear Anthropomorphizer: your gelding is not my mare's boyfriend. They are not in love. Please (ETA) *do not* bring him over to sniff noses while I am tacking up, lest someone get kicked.

    Dear Fellow Trail Rider: please do not take off at a gallop on the way home without telling me. I was adjusting my stirrup, and found it quite challenging to regain my seat and get my horse back under control, and I'm too old to fall softly anymore.



  2. #22
    Join Date
    Jan. 7, 2009
    Location
    Cincinnati, OH
    Posts
    1,363

    Default

    Dear Parellite:

    You can quote from the Book of Pat all you want, and go on and on about "fluidity" and "horsenality" types, but please understand that the other boarders find you annoying. Really. Stop trying to convert them and give them advice, because they already know much more about horses than you do. "Doing Parelli" has made you a danger to yourself and all others around you. Remember that barn rules still apply to you; helmets are still required at all times when mounted no matter what "Parelli level" you and your horse are, and proper arena etiquette is still expected whether you are "lunging" your horse or "playing the seven games."

    Dear Breeder-Brain:

    This is not daycare, the other boarders are not babysitters so that you can go out and ride. The dogs at the barn have a better grasp of obedience and manners than your kids, and they are not there to provide pony rides for your young ones. If you insist on bringing the children to the barn with you, I must request that you confine them to a leash or stroller for the duration of their visit, and provide proof that they are up to date on vaccinations.
    Please copy and paste this to your signature if you know someone, or have been affected by someone who needs a smack upside the head. Lets raise awareness.



  3. #23
    Join Date
    Jul. 31, 2007
    Posts
    14,929

    Default I'll give you someone to hate... probably me!

    Remember that expression, "One finger pointing out means three pointing back?" I think it applies here.

    Dear Piss-ants,

    If you'd get your horses broke, you wouldn't have to care so much about what other people do with their four- or two-leggeds.

    If you'd work on getting your horse broke, you'd have plenty to occupy your time and mind while at the barn.

    If you could come to value "different strokes for different folks," appreciate the super-broke ones and the good horsemen in your midst, you might learn how to produce one of your own.

    Just sayin'.
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat



  4. #24
    Join Date
    Dec. 28, 2003
    Location
    US
    Posts
    1,966

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by JollyBadger View Post
    Dear Breeder-Brain:

    This is not daycare, the other boarders are not babysitters so that you can go out and ride. The dogs at the barn have a better grasp of obedience and manners than your kids, and they are not there to provide pony rides for your young ones. If you insist on bringing the children to the barn with you, I must request that you confine them to a leash or stroller for the duration of their visit, and provide proof that they are up to date on vaccinations.
    This!

    Additionally, do NOT give your tiny five-year-old child a big bag of apples and send her out alone into a herd of twenty-some horses to get mobbed. There are better ways to dispose of unwanted children.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  5. #25
    Join Date
    Jan. 27, 2003
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    10,712

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia73 View Post
    Dear People at My Barn-
    Thank you for being sane, polite and fun to be around. If you have kids, they seem very nice. And quiet and not under foot. You adults are pleasant to ride with- isn't it nice that we all mind our business yet are social and support each other? Thanks for having everything you need to enjoy your horse. And when you need a bit of something, thanks for asking, and returning immediately with a thank you.

    Let's hope no one else moves in.
    Exactly.

    Dear People at My barn:

    Sometimes we snit at each other. Sometimes we all get along swimmingly. We all have our weanesses and strengths. Thanks for being good, kind understanding people who are fun to hang out with. Thanks for never making me feel like I need to lock my stuff up. It's truly appreciated.
    Keith: "Now...let's do something normal fathers and daughters do."
    Veronica: "Buy me a pony?"



  6. #26
    Join Date
    May. 20, 2005
    Location
    Desert Southwest
    Posts
    6,254

    Default

    Wow, this thread makes me thankful for the barns I board at! Everyone is so nice at both (admittedly smallish) barns.

    When we HAVE had obnoxious boarders, we, (the collective -- the Borg) either assimilate them or eliminate them. Fortunately, both BO's are amenable to this, as they hate conflict, too.



  7. #27
    Join Date
    Jan. 25, 2000
    Location
    Ohio
    Posts
    3,212

    Default

    AnastasiaBeaverhousen!

    OMG over half of these people are at my "new" barn! (OK, been there almost 3yrs now )... and while the other barn I board at (for 13yrs) has boarders that do not try to learn and think they know it all... they don't irritate me nearly as much. I guess because they have more of the "I'll respect your space, you respect mine" attitude. (I shouldn't say that ALL the boarders are a problem at the new barn... just a few "special" ones. )

    Sometimes I think it DOES come down to money. The ones at the new barn clearly have more and feel much more entitled to show disrespect to others... and of course they do it when the BOs aren't around. As long as the BOs can keep 'em under control, or let me b!tch at 'em, I can handle it.

    So glad I'm not alone with these lovely boarders...



  8. #28
    Join Date
    Sep. 9, 2007
    Location
    Charleston, SC
    Posts
    2,121

    Default

    The current place I am at everyone gets along for the most part. I am only there in the evenings to ride, and try to avoid the nitpicking of the others.

    At the old place...

    Dear Teen#1,
    When I am teaching a little kid a lesson and standing near the jump do NOT take them jump pretending like you don't see me. I don't enjoy ducking and praying. Little kid was out of your way but I was not. (I did ream her for that one after I put my heart back into the chest cavity)

    Dear Teen#2,

    Yes it is great fun playing with the lunge whip but is it really nesscary to do when I am riding my horse that is a bolter? You aren't even doing anything with the horse, you were playing with your friends. GO outside and torture either other not in the indoor.
    OTTB - Hurricane Denton - Kane AKA Bubble boy
    Boxer - Tugger's - outlasted my marriage



  9. #29
    Join Date
    Jan. 2, 2006
    Location
    Dallas, NC
    Posts
    2,313

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by mvp View Post

    Dear Piss-ants,

    If you'd get your horses broke, you wouldn't have to care so much about what other people do with their four- or two-leggeds.

    If you'd work on getting your horse broke, you'd have plenty to occupy your time and mind while at the barn.
    MY horse IS broke and could care less about what's going on. But *I* on the otherhand can not STAND screaming, running, gunpopping, whip snappin', rock throwing, leave your soda cans half full every where and get another, unmannered KIDS! Argh!! Can't stand it! I am there for peace and quiet, not visiting a daycare.

    That's why now that I own my own boarding barn it's ADULTS ONLY. And the boarders LOVE THAT. That's why they are there. Plus the fact that I love their horses and take good care of them and don't nickle and dime for anything (blanket changes, trailer parking, worming, etc)
    I want a signature but I have nothing original to say except: "STHU and RIDE!!!

    Wonderful COTHER's I've met: belleellis, stefffic, snkstacres and janedoe726.



  10. #30
    Join Date
    Jun. 14, 2007
    Location
    TX
    Posts
    1,071

    Default

    (Old barn)

    Dear special boarder and friends, you have your own sheds while the rest of use keep our tack,feed, hay in a shared shed. Please keep your children out of our shed. It's not a playground but they sure treat it like it's one. We get real tired of wiping the mud off our saddle from them walking on them and restacking our hay for the same reason. And please ask them to stop mixing all the feeds together or throwing it on the floor. Also, could you please ask them what they did with my brushes?



  11. #31
    Join Date
    Jan. 4, 2006
    Posts
    597

    Default

    Dear "Barn Manger"

    I know you know what is going on at the barn every day, because you live there and schedule work and repairs directly with the property owner. I, on the otherhand, work a 40hr a week job away from the barn, and therefore do not have a chance to be at the barn as often as you.

    I am also not psychic, so I would have no idea that you and the property owner scheduled a roofer to come and put a new roof on the barn. Therefore, when I arrive to ride my horse after a very, VERY long and busy week at work, and find that I cannot because of... well, basically construction, don't tell me "Well, you could have called and asked what was going on." I think it might be kind of you to let boarders know that the facility will be ostensibly closed for 48 hours while the roof is replaced and all debris and nails are cleaned up. Afterall, there are only two of us to notify.

    Oh, and tell your kids, and their friends, that the barn isnt a playground.

    Peace out
    MAR

    (and to be clear, this lady had been a boarder at this previous barn and then became "manager" by offering feed, turnout etc the other horses, thus the quotes... )


    And Dear Current BO/M of Small Private Farm:

    Thank god for you. No seriously, you da bomb. I called you after years of not being in touch, and you welcomed me into your barn with warm and welcoming arms. You call me to tell me that you went ahead and doubled up on my boy's blankets, and even used one of your own... when you know you didn't have to do that. But because you rock, you opted to use one of your heavier ones to give my boy a little extra. You made my boy a special Christmas breakfast while I was out of town, and texted me to let me know he loved it. You print up actual invoices for me, rather than just calling, texting or emailing. You have policies and procedures! Your barn is clean. And organized. And you put lables on drawers so we know where to look for things. And it makes me giddy! But most of all, my pony is happy. And that makes me happy.

    Peace out
    MAR
    Last edited by missamandarose; Jan. 7, 2010 at 02:58 PM.
    I have Higher Standards... do you?
    Apalachicola Native (Alfie), '02 TB Gelding,
    Wild Man of Borneo (Hank), '03 Redtick coonhound,
    Augustus McRae (Gus), '01 Bluetick coonhound



  12. #32
    Join Date
    May. 25, 2006
    Location
    Mayhem
    Posts
    43

    Default

    Dear Former Coboarder #1: do not be surprised when no one wants to (again) help you find your lost wee dog you took trail-riding with you at dusk into the coyote area; you were warned the first time.

    Dear Former Coboarder #2: you are a sh*t-stirrer of the worst kind. No one wants to hear your venomous gossip or be around your duplicitious manipulative toxicity. Perhaps this explains why you are still a virgin at 50, and why you are kicked out of every barn you go to...but we do all feel for your horse, who was a kind bright horse until you owned him.

    Dear current coboarders: I love you all. What magnolia73 said.



  13. #33
    Join Date
    Oct. 9, 2009
    Posts
    17

    Default

    Dear Unobservant,
    You are a nice girl but USE YOUR EYES!!! Last week as I was jumping a course you walked in front of the jump I was 3 strides away from to talk to our trainer. Smart! I had to circle and come to the jump again and you didn't even notice. The time before that I was in the middle of a jumper course, GALLOPING up to the inside line and you decide to move off the rail directly into my path. Are you stupid? I honestly don't know how my miracle worker of a horse avoided you. I swear I saw my life flash before my eyes on that one. And lets not even get started on your random canter/walk transitions you do in our tiny indoor that cause everyone else to have to pull up their horses to avoid you. Please realize you are not the only person in the ring. Thanks

    To everyone else at my barn, You are great and I love you.



  14. #34
    Join Date
    Jan. 1, 2008
    Posts
    4,824

    Default

    The barn is not day care for your 10-year-old because you are too cheap to get a sitter in the summer. Do not drop your 10-year-old off at the barn at 9:00 a.m. and pick it up at 6:00 p.m. I'll tell you right now that I'm not watching out for it. As a matter of fact, if it gets in the way, I'm tying it to a tree with a bucket of water until you come to retrieve it.

    And, BTW, little 10-year-old...horses poop. It's not "icky." You have to clean it up or I'll figure out a way for you to be wearing it so you stink up your Mom's Escalade on your way home (at 6:00 p.m.).



  15. #35
    Join Date
    Oct. 18, 2000
    Posts
    22,414

    Default

    Dear BO and fellow boarders who have been feeding my horse without my permission, stealing my hay, meds and "borrowing" tack, leaving your crap all over the place, screeching about your need to have the indoor all to yourself.....


    You might want to stock up on meds and hay because I'm leaving and taking my stuff with me.

    So there.



  16. #36
    Join Date
    Feb. 15, 2004
    Location
    Ontario
    Posts
    7,676

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by magnolia73 View Post
    Dear People at My Barn-
    Thank you for being sane, polite and fun to be around. If you have kids, they seem very nice. And quiet and not under foot. You adults are pleasant to ride with- isn't it nice that we all mind our business yet are social and support each other? Thanks for having everything you need to enjoy your horse. And when you need a bit of something, thanks for asking, and returning immediately with a thank you.

    Let's hope no one else moves in.

    Dear dear BO
    Thank you for not letting ANY situation get out of hand, for dealing with any problem immediately, for screening your boarders so that we can have a wonderful barn experience and that our horses all get along and are well looked after.
    I always appreciated you (I have been with you for over 6 years and even followed you when you moved), but now I appreciate you even more after reading all these posts....



  17. #37
    Join Date
    Nov. 12, 2009
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    1,353

    Default

    My goodness. I'm glad I have my own barn - some of these posts sound like a possible homicide waiting to happen! While Mr. S can get snarly, grumpy, and whinny on occasion, I tend to cut the "little dude" some slack considering he built and paid for the barn.



  18. #38
    Join Date
    Sep. 6, 2007
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    1,951

    Default

    Dear Pretend Trainer,

    I feel sorry for the clients you rip off on a daily basis, but I am determined to mind my own business. Please mind yours as well and do not give me unsolicited advice about my horse. I would take lessons from my dog before I would ride with you.

    Dear Parelli-loon,

    Thanks for moving!

    Dear rest of the boarders,

    Thank you for being friendly and drama free. I love my barn!



  19. #39
    Join Date
    Sep. 7, 2009
    Location
    Lexington, KY
    Posts
    16,810

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Beasmom View Post
    Wow, this thread makes me thankful for the barns I board at! Everyone is so nice at both (admittedly smallish) barns.

    When we HAVE had obnoxious boarders, we, (the collective -- the Borg) either assimilate them or eliminate them. Fortunately, both BO's are amenable to this, as they hate conflict, too.
    Agree. People will only walk all over you if you allow them. We have WONDERFUL boarders. OK, only one really comes to ride her horse, but all the owners have been very cooperative. No drama. We don't allow unattended children and that means someone on the ground to supervise. Pretty serious liability issue otherwise. We do have trailer-ins for training and, so far they have been cooperative about following the rules.

    Everyone cleans up after themselves and the frequent visitor boarder pitches in every once in a while when she has free time (yes, Shannon, I mean you!) And no, you can not have my boarders!



  20. #40
    Join Date
    Apr. 8, 2004
    Location
    The Great, uh, Green (?!?!) North!
    Posts
    3,732

    Default

    Dear BO,

    Thank you for keeping things 99% sane. It makes it easy to ignore the 1% insane.
    "Adulthood? You're playing with ponies. That is, like, every 9 year old girl's dream. Adulthood?? You're rocking the HELL out of grade 6, girl."



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