So I am just curious about anybody else's stories about their roommate experiences. When I bought my townhouse I thought that it was a brilliant idea to get roommates so that their rent would pay my mortgage however it has not turned out as well as planned. Here is a brief summary of my experiences (and yes I did check references):
The first ever roommate I had (prior to checking references) I paid to leave after they had been there for less than a month. They turned out to be a drug addict and alcoholic, and I was constantly coming home to them passed out on the couch so out of fear of him recking the place if I kicked him out I bribed him with a refund on rent. Probably about 6 months later the police showed up at my door looking for him since apparently he never changed his address.
My next roommate (difinitely checked references) was great for the year he was there, a slob but otherwise a good roommate in my mind. When I left I made the discovery that he had left behind a bed bug infestation in his room and hadn't had the courtesy to tell me. Let me tell you those are not fun to get rid of, but if you need advice on dealing with an infestation I am a wealth of knowledge thanks to my research on the subject...
The next one started out as the perfect roommate; neat, considerate, easy to get along with and turned out to be a nightmare. She bought a puppy which I ended up looking after most of the time which I would have even been ok with if it hadn't been for the fact that she foiled all my attempts to get the dog house trained since she didn't pay attention to it when she was home. She also started dating a guy who basically moved into the place; was even there when she was not. She got extremely offended when I told her she had to be around if her boyfriend was home and that her puppy who was by this point 5 months old needed to get house trained and moved in with her boyfriend.
Any advice on screening to find a good roommate would be greatly appreciated, and any entertaining stories would be great too.
When I bought my house I too thought that a roommate would be a good way to offset costs. My bestfriend was looking for a place to stay so she moved in with me that september.
She flooded my house twice. The first time was kind of an accident, we weren't used to the taps yet, and she hadn't shut them off properly. A few times over the next couple weeks she would do the same thing but I was home so I just shut them off myself. Then halloween came around and we had argued the night before about the hours she was keeping and how loud she was when she was coming in. I was busy at the office working 8 to 12 hour days, and just wanted to come home and relax in the evenings and go to bed before 10pm, but she needed rides home from work at midnight and then was up listening to music and making a racket in the kitchen or her room till 4am. I came home after working 10 hours and 4 inches of water greeted me at the door! There was a foot of water in the basement, the furnace was toast, all my new appliances were toast, the new flooring I had just finished paying off.... the list continues.
She came home a few hours later and didn't seem to care that she had no where to sleep. Her responce to it all, "It's not my house, why should I be upset?"
Well I'm the opposite of you since I'm the one renting from my roommate but we get along great! He works all day and I'm a university student. He is gay so we like all the same shows like Gossip Girl and Vampire Diaries and so we always watch those together and if one of us misses it the other explains it in great detail. We are about the same in terms of cleanliness, maybe I'm a bit moreso but not much. This is nice because if he was a neat freak I'd be so worried all the time about leaving a speck of dust anywhere or anything an inch out of place, but if he was a total slob I wouldn't be able to deal with it. He likes to use the dishwasher and I like to wash them by hand (and don't like leaving dirty dishes in the sink) so we always know whose dirty dishes are whose. We have our own bathrooms which is great. He goes to bed early on weekdays because he gets up early for work but he is a really deep sleeper so I can watch a movie or listen to music and move around plenty loud enough and it doesn't bother him. To top it off, he has an adorable dalmation and is great at giving advice on which shirt to wear with which pants or skirt, which shoes, etc! I feel so lucky to have found a great, and very affordable living situation in a very nice apartment!
Myself and two other girls met through driver's ed one summer. We all attended different schools in the same city; the other two (Jan and Jane let's say ) knew each other through Girl Scouts. We graduate and all go to the same college.
We rent a house together. Jan goes wild after being severely tied in by over-bearing religious parents her whole life, decides she's bisexual and has flings, hangs out with people who smoke marijuana, etc. She purposefully damages Jane's non-stick coated pans, makes a mess, in and out all hours. Jan moves out by Christmas. Jane and I can't swing the rent together and I buy an older trailer and she rents from me. Rent begins to turn into "how about I do all the housework, because I can't afford it right now..." because her Mom paid all her bills. Jane also did not have a car and drove my truck all the time. Never contributed gas. I could not do a thing in the house without her exploding about the mess. She did not work. I worked FT after FT classes, would get home late and just. want. to. go. to. bed. It got to the point were I stripped shoes, socks and pants at the door so I didn't track barn dirt in. We finally had it out and she left, but not before putting holes in the walls, shaking a liter Dr Pepper and spraying it all over the living room and taking back every gift she had ever gotten for me. We lived together for more than three years...
I have one BFF who moved away, divorced, got involved with a new guy, who I miss terribly :sad: who would be welcome to live with me....but that's it. Otherwise, no way in HELL!
Aisha, my heart from 03/06/1986 to 08/22/2008.
COTH's official mini-donk enabler.
Odie, aka the Evil Burrito, is on Facebook.
Oh the joys of being assigned random roommates in college... Kenya and I probably spoke five sentences to each other the whole year we lived in the dorm together. Her hair constantly clogged the sink, there were always people in our room (fine except it is not a big room at all and when I have a test the next day and they are there til 2am)... Our room constantly stunk of baby oil, her music was almost always blasting so I couldn't hear my tv, and I woke up on more than one occasion to her having phone sex with a man I figured out to be at least40. (She was asking about his 17 year old daughter) I one time woke up to realize she wasn't in her room, but her boyfriend who had come to visit for California was.
I probably should have spoken up a time or two, but just ignoring her and staying on my side of the room got me through the two semesters.
Oh and after I put up my University Republicans sticker on my side of the room, her ringtone for when her mom called immediately changed to person saying "Attention everyone, I have an announcement to make. Jesus was black, Ronald Reagan is the devil, and the government is lying about 9/11"
Last year lived in the door...2 people to a room and share a bathroom with 4 people. One of my suitmates had her boyfriend move in the dorm for 10 days (boys are supposed to be out by midnight). They would have s*x in our shower! Where I have to shower too! I was always at the barn when they got down and dirty but my roommate would always text me and be like "OMG they are in the shower together again and..."
My freshman roommate in college (assigned randomly) and I were okay for the first semester. She was really social and I wasn't, and was a bit offended when I would ask nicely if she and her friends could watch TV somewhere else, which I would only do if it was after midnight. Apparently I was supposed to take her aside and privately ask her? Of course she would listen to music sans headphones until she'd go to bed at 1-2 am. And she would talk to her boyfriend on the phone until she fell asleep. I usually went to bed somewhere between 11 and midnight. Very considerate. Though when she was asleep at 11 am and I was awake, she would ask me to turn my music off. Real gem she was, but I lived with it. Until the beginning of our second semester when she had two guys over. First, she didn't tell me she was having guys over, she texted me at like 8 pm to inform me that she was having "a friend" over overnight. They didn't show up until 4 am, and she spent the whole night bouncing around the room and giving them directions on the phone. Then they got there and they were two guys, her boyfriend slept in bed with her and the other one slept on the floor. I got up at 8 to go to class and while I was *attempting* to change the other guy kept hitting on me. Then when I got back from class I found my roommate gone and Guy #2 sleeping in my bed. I was pissed to say the least and wasn't even going to try to be friendly at that point. I told her (privately) that they needed to go, and she got mad at me for being rude to them. After that she tried to have me kicked out of the dorm. Regardless of the fact that leaving guests in a room alone is against the housing rules and the fact that it's established when you move in that whoever complains moves, they can't force a roommate out. Unfortunately we were both stubborn enough to stick it out and only spoke once between January-May. When she came into the room drunk at 3 am and would not shut the **** up.
She was sort of every bad roommate rolled into one. Without even going into the fact that she was a complete slob who left food out for weeks and basically ended up coating our carpet in clothes detergent and instant mashed potato flakes ...
"Why would anybody come here if they had a pony? Who leaves a country packed with ponies to come to a non-pony country? It doesn't make sense!"
well, moved in with 4 guys(i'm a girl) 1st time meeting one(dan) of them. I come in the house, you can see the kitchen from the door.I see My room in nothing but a towel.I politely saw hi i'm Jenn you new roomie.His face went red.
then the another one(bryce) one day i'm in my room and i hear him in the living room singning along to "What ever you like" by T.I. wasn't that bad but it was funny.Think big chubby guy lol.
there may be more but can't think of it. I have lived with just guys for the most part.there easy to get along with and hold no drama.
This topic makes me cringe, but I feel the need to share!
First year of university, I lived in a suite with 5 other girls, randomly assigned. One from Barbados (Alice), Vancouver (Betty), Toronto (Cindy), China (Debbie) and Cayman Islands (Fran). I shared a room with the girl form Toronto (Cindy), and things got off to an ok start. She had a BF going to the same school who lived in the same building 3 floors up, and they would spend a lot of time together, which was fine. When my BF would come to visit, she'd stay with him, so it worked out well at first.
About a month in, she started to get really rude and mean, was loud, drinking heavily, smoked pot like a chimney, just generally being a bitch. She knew I didn't drink or smoke at all, so made a point of talking about it and having friends over before/after they'd go 'for a walk'. Then she started using my stuff and putting it back to look like it was never taken, complaining about how I was so noisy (because I got up for class and WENT while she slept in) and generally being a bitch. Her BF was a total 'skater' and pot head, ranted on and on about the evils of society and the world and how if everyone just didn't vote... blah blah... made me sick! The general dynamic of the situation just got progressively worse.
I went home for a weekend, and upon returning, one of my suitemates (Betty) told me that Cindy had a small party in our room, and could overhear her and her friends saying how funny it would be if they emptied my Fendi and Burberry perfumes and replaced it with beer, and how they were on their way out, Cindy wearing my brand new leather jacket, to smoke pot before Betty intervened.
After I heard this I went straight to my floor don and he sat us down for 'counselling'. I flat out told her that she was a heinous bitch right there and then, and that I had done nothing to provoke her, and in all honesty, I didn't, I mind my business. Long story short, things were tense for about 3 weeks before she moved her ass out of there just before Christmas break I had to pay $400 for the rest of the semester to keep a double room to myself, and had to tell several girls on the floor that were in bad roomate situations themselves that there was NO WAY IN HELL they were moving in with me, but it was the best $400 I ever spent!
Fast forward to May of freshman year, going house hunting with Alice, Betty and another girl on our floor. Found a good townhome near campus, signed a lease. About a week later, right before exams, I get diagnosed with type 1 diabetes, and go home for a couple days to get my head right. I come back to school to write 2 of my exams, and resume living in the dorm. Alice and the new townhouse roomate tell me that Betty has just started a new job... as a stripper! Awesome. I didn't sit on a toilet seat for a year! After Alice, the third roomate and I joined a rival sorority to Betty's, things just spiraled downward from there... I could literally go on for days!!!
It's been almost 4 years since I've had bad roomates, but I will say, IF YOU CAN SWING LIVING ALONE, DO IT!!!
First, you must find things in common, not points of difference. See point two, but getting to college is the easiest way to do that. You are as similar and equal as it's ever going to get there. For people renting out rooms in houses they own, it can be tough.
Second, you must practice.
Third, resolve to
take nothing personally
make nothing a bigger deal than it actually is
give your roomie the benefit of the doubt
ask for what you want at the time and not let sh!t build up.
Fourth, have no expectations about how it will go. Yes, you will probably survive whatever situation you are in. But if you walk in wanting complete silence and darkness after X hour-- and don't ask your roomie if he/she can live with that, then you had a part in things going south.
My best housemate ever was a guy (non-BF, I'm a straight woman). When the bathroom got too nasty for my taste, I cleaned it. When we were running out of TP, he bought it. I made him make me coffee. He made me make him coffee. He wanted to have the ladies over to the love shack. I didn't want to wonder if I heard sex through the wall, so I asked him to give me a heads up (and veto rights) when he wanted to do that. We talked about the important stuff and didn't bicker about the stupid stuff.
I rented an apartment with three guys. It wasn't so bad except for one of them had a girlfriend who was a Bitch with a capital B. The type who acted like she owned the place even though she didn't even live there. Over all the time, etc it was so annoying. The best was when she called our phone and yelled at me because her bf wasn't there!
Then I got a house and decided to have roommates to offset the cost. The first three were fine, no complaints really. They all moved on for different reasons (none related to me! ) so I put a flyer up at college (small place where I knew most people). This other guy moved in, he was a hillbilly but seemed nice enough...but he wore on my nerves, and FAST.
a) always paid rent late
b) only ate a diet consisting pretty much of beer, fast food, and beanie weenies
c) told us he had some kind of stomach problems... (pretty sure it was related to b!) he absolutely DESTROYED the toilet (luckily I had my own bathroom!). OMG. I am not going to get too into it but let's just say he basically had diarrhea every day and it reached places on the toilet bowl I did not know were possible. Every day.
d) his alarm would go off for AT LEAST 10 solid minutes before he would get up and turn it off. Every morning.
e) he had an early class. Every morning when he would shower, he would yawn the entire time (the obnoxious, long yawns with sound) making it impossible to fall back asleep. Showers also lasted at least 15 minutes.
f) had a piece of shit old truck that leaked oil all over my driveway. He just could never seem to get the drip pan in the right place
g) towards the end of his stay, found an equally trashy girlfriend who came over all the time
h) destroyed his room. I, young and naive, never asked for a security deposit. When he moved out it took me a good solid 2 days of cleaning. I had to spackle and repaint the whole room (he tacked up posters everywhere and the walls were dirty). You should have SEEN the gunk that the carpet cleaner pulled up. It was NASTY!!!
Needless to say that was my last roommate.
Originally Posted by barka.lounger
u get big old crop and bust that nags ass the next time it even slow down.
Wow, I feel so lucky! I had a fabulous roommate in college, we had our share of fights but were inseparable best friends through most of college. A few years ago, I had given notice on my apartment and was planning to move to Texas with my job. I got a new boss, who didn't care if I lived in NC or TX, so I put the move on hold for a few months to decide. Only problem was, I didn't get around to apartment hunting, and didn't want to sign a lease as it was temporary. I was at the bar one night, and ran into a girl I knew casually from horse showing. As we were playing darts, I mentioned that I should be apartment shopping rather than barhopping. She said that I should move in with her, as she had a whole house and didn't even use the upstairs. I moved in the next week, and ended up living there for a year and a half. She's now one of my best friends. I bought a condo and moved out, and she got engaged six months later, so the timing worked out well. I was a bridesmaid in her wedding, and still board my horse at her barn. So roommates aren't always horror stories
My junior year of college, I shared a suite (3 bedrooms, shared living room, kitchenette, bathroom) with 2 other girls. Roomie #1 was fairly normal. Roomie #2 was another story. She was a hippy-dippy earth mother type, always protesting something (I went to college in the late 90s-early 2000s, not the 60s), tried to mail herself pot from her spring break trip to Amsterdam. You know the type
On a fairly regular basis, Roomie #2 would knock on my door early in the morning, yelling that she needed to borrow some item of mine (hair dryer, a pair of tights, some shampoo...it never ended). Invariably, I would open my door and find her standing there....completely buck nekkid. Which is how I learned that she did not shave....anywhere. To make matters worse, Roomie #1 suggested that when I get my tights back, I might want to throw them out, since Roomie #2 didn't wear underwear.
She's still the same, 7 years later. Currently, she's an OB/GYN resident. Through facebook, I learned that her most recent halloween costume was a used tampon (white tights, white t-shirt festooned with cotton balls and red paint). Caption said that she's "celebrating the miracle of the uterus"
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I once had a roomate named Tony. Seemed decent on interview. WHen he moved in, he brought a box...no bed. As it turned out, he slept in a large padded wooden box painted red inside to simulate the womb. He "processed" his issues with his mother by sleeping in the womb...including screaming therapy (muffled screams to us outside the box). He had no boundaries when it came to the bathroom and shower...part of his therapy.
After watching my older sister and brother struggle with roommate nightmares (including my sister having to barricade her dog and herself in her room when her roomie threatened to kill her and our parents having to go rescue her in the middle of the night!), I dragged my feet for a long time on living with a roommate. I managed to do it for awhile since the couple of farms we rented had living arrangements, but we moved to one that didn't, I could NOT find living arrangements that were A) in my price range and B) allowed my dog. I finally relented and looked for a roommate/room for rent.
I LUCKED OUT!!! When I responded to the ad, the girl told me she had a pet snake (she wanted people to know before they came to see the house). I could have cared less. Our dogs got along SO well that she thought briefly that maybe I shouldn't move in since it would be two 60lb dogs constantly playing grab ass. I did move in and it was fantastic until right before I moved out (not her fault). She told me very soon on that she always looked for roommates who would be friends, too, and she really was (still is). My family basically adopted her because she fit in so well. We had GREAT times together. I got so ridiculously lucky.
After I'd been there for probably 18 months or more, we got another roomie, who was also great. Then, roomie 1 (who owned the house) made the stupid decision to move to London to be with a boyfriend. She filled her room with a complete bitch who did not take care of her dog. I moved out of town (though still pretty close) shortly after roomie 1 went to London and live by myself again. While we are still friends (the London thing fell to pieces and she came home not too long after I moved), I miss the companionship I had with her. It was nice to have someone at home, even on the nights that we'd just sit on the counch and veg or even go to our seperate rooms. It was great to have someone to make spur of the moment dinner plans with or go for a hike or take the dogs for a run. And while we still do those things some, it's not quite the same.
That being said, I know I got really, really lucky with her. We would have been friends if we'd met some other way and never lived together. I doubt I could get that lucky EVER again. Yes. We had our issues (she's a complete slob. I'm messy, but she is DIRTY), but our friendship made up for the shortcomings!
I can't stress how critical it is to interview a roommate on more than one occasion before letting them move in. Figure out if you have the same type of lifestyle. Go see where they are living currently. Super neat freak or a filthy mess? If they have a signifcant other, go out to dinner with both of them for the interview- regardless of what he/she says, the SO WILL be at your place. Probably more than either of them anticipate.
If you don't drink, it's probably not a great idea to live with someone that does. If you are a neat freak, it's probably not a good idea to live with a slob. These are things that are pretty simple to figure out if you take the time to get to know someone just a little bit before inviting them to move in.
My best friend and I have lived together for 4 months. I hate it with a passion! I love my best friend and in many ways we live just a like. We like to keep the thermastat at the same temp I wake up early to shower and her right after me, so that was never a problem. Everything seemed so perfect. She would have her boyfriend stay over occasionally, as would I, but then... her boyfriend became a leech! He never leaves!!!!!!! After the 1st month he started slowly moving his clothes in, buy food to keep in our fridge and freezer waking up at "my time" to shower which there for started making me late to get started and I usually went to class without my coffee inorder to make sure I wasnt late for class. I am not any good without my coffee. I dealt with it for a while, but then one day he left our oven on.. for about 3 hours. Okay.. I caught it, and everyone makes mistakes. A few weeks later he cooks chicken (mind you he doenst pay any bills and it ticks me off about him using my appliances) and I wake up the next morning to make me some coffee (I have up going to starbucks because I never had time) and I saw the oven had been on ALL NIGHT! I was pissed and told her he could not cook here anymore. I was not letting my electric bill rise anymore or my house burn down!!! I leave for a horse show and return on sunday that weekend... what do you think I came into that morning? OVEN ON AGAIN! IDk how long it had been on. I go off! So far he hasnt had any food at our house. IDK how next semester will be, but I have already started looking at one bedrooms for when our lease runs out in june!
~*It's not about the ribbons, but about the ride behind it"
R.I.P. Teddy O'Connor
Mine were pretty humdrum in college - I lived with a houseful of guys, they never washed dishes so after a couple weeks I just made sure to wash up after myself and leave the rest. The head roomie, (his dad owned the house) got the converted garage suite and most disasters were confined to his room (he had an awesome reptile collection and they would get out, the Burmese pythons were soaking in the tub during shed and scratched themselves on the taps filling the whole garage level with about an inch of water, oh! the swearing that day!) I'd clean and find live or dead critters. Moved out and sublet pretty easily. (I had one of those pesky BF's that won't leave and he got upset when asked, to boot) Then I sublet a friends roomie's room - she had an internship for a semester and I needed a place to stay in town.
The worst roommate story I ever heard was my co-worker, getting called to the office to talk to the cops. Turned out supposedly she had had to climb out the window of her bedroom that day as her roomie had died out in the hallway and blocked her door. Okaaaaay . . . .
Last edited by ReSomething; Jan. 1, 2010 at 06:32 PM.
Reason: forgot bout pesky BF
PS- We did have house rules...among them no boys in the house that you've known less than 36 hours, no illegal drugs, no smoking in the house. The boy one was written in the lease, but the others were! That kind of stuff makes a big difference and should be discussed VERY early on in the interviews. If you own the house MAKE RULES AND STICK TO YOUR GUNS!!! IF you are looking, ask point blank about things that will be deal breakers for you!