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  1. #1
    reluctantalter Guest

    Default Update/here's your real cheating thread...

    I posted on Thanksgiving about just finding out my husband had an affair with a coworker:

    Well, here's an update.

    He came home from overseas, we talked, we fought, we hashed and rehashed. (And I did follow all a$$-covering advice as well.)

    Affair has apparently been over for about a year or so, had gone on 1.5-2 years. I'll spare the details...but he 'fessed up to everything. I had not given him all the information I have, so that I would have an idea if he was truthful.

    He went to a counselor a few days later, then I went, now we've gone together twice. I decided to work on it for now, for a couple reasons:

    1) I don't want to regret later that I didn't try to save my marriage (esp. since young son in picture)
    2) Our counseling sessions have opened us both up so that right now we're actually getting along better than ever.
    3) I truly believe he is repentant.
    4) I told him he had to write an email to his entire family confessing the affair, and that it all had to be out in the open (and he immediately did).

    Yes, I know this could all wind up STILL biting me in the a$$. I am not naive. But so far, so good. Could I end up single down the road? Absolutely. But my conscience will be clear, which is important to me.

    Merry Christmas to all, and thanks for the past words of advice and encouragement.

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov. 13, 2004
    City of delusion in the state of total denial


    I wish you and your husband the best of luck in working this through, whatever direction it may take you.
    "I'm not always sarcastic. Sometimes I'm asleep."
    - Harry Dresden

    Horse Isle 2: Legend of the Esrohs LifeCycle Breeding and competition MMORPG

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Mar. 13, 2007
    Northern Virginia, 45 minutes east of paradise - 2 hrs during rush hour


    Sometimes its more courageous to stay than walk. Just make sure he's worth it
    "The mighty oak is a nut who stood its ground"

    "'ll never win Olympic gold by shaking a carrot stick at a warmblood..." see u at x

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb. 14, 2003
    Windward Farm, Washougal, WA- our work in progress, our money pit, our home!


    Well done! Marriage is hard, hard work. Too many people forget that they take constant maintenance to survive. You have a huge issue in yours, but it sounds like you're on the right track. I admire you for trying to save yours. Good luck and Merry Christmas.
    Proud member of the "Don't rush to kill wildlife" clique!

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jun. 24, 2005


    I hope it works out, but either way you can say you really tried.
    You can't fix stupid-Ron White

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jul. 1, 2008
    Southern Ontario


    All the best wishes for you both. You've probably taken the more difficult of two roads and I hope it is all worth it in the end.
    Sometimes I just think funny things - Dudley Moore in Arthur
    Come join us at - TheMuckBucket

  7. #7
    Join Date
    May. 11, 2009
    Dairyville USA


    Good luck! Glad you two are working on it
    Michael: Seems the people who burned me want me for a job.
    Sam: A job? Does it pay?
    Michael: Nah, it's more of a "we'll kill you if you don't do it" type of thing.
    Sam: Oh. I've never liked those.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Mar. 6, 2009


    Jingles for you ~ hope 2010 is happy for you.
    Zu Zu Bailey " IT"S A WONDERFUL LIFE !"

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr. 4, 2006
    An American Living In Ireland


    Good luck to you! Takes courage to try and work things out and it seems as if both are you are trying which is the only way it will work.

    Best wishes and hope you have a great 2010!

    COTH, keeping popcorn growers in business for years.

    "I need your grace to remind me to find my own." Snow Patrol-Chasing Cars. This line reminds me why I have horses.

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