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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Mar. 12, 2008
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    These streets will make you feel brand new, big lights will inspire you, let's hear it for New York
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    514

    Default Teenagers addressing adult horsepeople...Ms. Mrs. Mr. Firstname? Ms. first name?

    Hi guys,

    this is something that occasionally comes up: How do you think teenagers should address adult horse people?

    Obviously, it's Mr. George Morris to you. But other than that?

    Trainer you are paying?
    Barn owner
    Adult boarders

    WS employer?
    Potential employer?

    I always feel that the horse world is a very first-name basis type of place, and I usually start right in with a first name, something I never do in other facets of life.

    For me, trainers have always been first name basis.

    One barn mom is Ms. First name

    Other barn moms are Mrs.

    Adult boarders are First Name

    What would you call a WS employer? Start off with Mr./Ms. or go for the first name? I just really don't feel that the Mr./Ms. is desired by most horse professionals.


    ETA: clinicians?
    thanks
    Last edited by Beau Cheval; Jan. 5, 2010 at 04:39 PM.
    "If we we couldn't laugh we'd all go insane, if we weren't all crazy we'd all go insane." ~Jimmy Buffet
    "Pursuing the life of my high-riding heroes I burned up my childhood days..."-Willie Nelson



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Sep. 27, 2000
    Location
    Southern California - on a freeway someplace
    Posts
    9,723

    Default

    Kids and everyone else call me by my first name. I am a client. I think that's true for all of the adults at the barn. I think some of the parents who don't ride get the Mr/Mrs titles.
    The Evil Chem Prof



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Feb. 18, 2008
    Location
    Long Island
    Posts
    932

    Default

    I call my trainer, BO, and pretty much all adult horsepeople by their first names. I am 18 now, but I have been doing this since I was young. It creates a nice informal and comfortable atmosphere.



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Feb. 21, 2009
    Location
    Rootown!
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    2,108

    Default

    I'm 20 now but have been at my current barn since I was 16 and always called the BO, other boarders, trainers, etc... by their first name. I call my farrier by his first name but the vets I use Dr and their last names.

    ETA: It's funny because I'm so comfortable calling horse people by their first names yet when my professors want me to call them by their first names it makes me feel weird lol.
    No hour of life is wasted that is spent in the saddle. ~Winston Churchill
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  5. #5
    Join Date
    May. 11, 2009
    Location
    Dairyville USA
    Posts
    2,979

    Default

    I'm Dr Grataan.

    To the pony club kids, they may call me Dr Firstname. Sometimes they slip and call me Ms Firstname (I don't mind)

    They call everyone Mr/Ms/Mrs Trainer, Mr Farrier, Ms/Mrs Barnmom/Mr Barndad etc.

    By the same token, we call them Miss and Mr lastname.
    Michael: Seems the people who burned me want me for a job.
    Sam: A job? Does it pay?
    Michael: Nah, it's more of a "we'll kill you if you don't do it" type of thing.
    Sam: Oh. I've never liked those.



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Sep. 13, 2007
    Posts
    717

    Default

    Same as DGHunter, everyone by their first name except vets.

    Moved to the 'south' when I was 13, all the kids at the barn called trainers by "Ms. Kathy, Ms. Marissa", yankee that I am they went by "Kathy and Marissa", no one ever minded, and believe me, they would have mentioned it if they did.

    BeauCheval- seeing from your exorbitant amount of threads, you'll be in New England, no need for "Ms."



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Oct. 20, 2007
    Posts
    652

    Default

    I use Mr/Mrs (lastname) untill I am corrected or asked to call them something else.. always, away from the barn as well.
    ---^v---^v---^v----------------------^v---^v---^v---
    For a moment there, you bored me to death



  8. #8
    Join Date
    May. 12, 2008
    Posts
    4,068

    Default

    I was always taught to call people by their last name unless otherwise told.

    My riding instructor and barn owners where I rode in high school I was introduced to with their first name.



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Jan. 31, 2003
    Posts
    18,472

    Default

    You are in NY so it doesn't really apply but in the south, kids call adults Miss and Mister (first name). So I am Miss EqT to my kids friends (well, not really, you get the idea tho'). Some kids are expected to answer Sir and Ma'am although that is not as common, and more likely to happen when they are in trouble

    As they grow up they drop the Miss and Mister and there you are.
    "Kindness is free" ~ Eurofoal
    ---
    The CoTH CYA - please consult w/your veterinarian under any and all circumstances.



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jan. 27, 2003
    Location
    CA
    Posts
    10,827

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by pinkme View Post
    I use Mr/Mrs (lastname) untill I am corrected or asked to call them something else.. always, away from the barn as well.
    for children.

    As an adult, I call people whatever they introduce themselves by. For example, I call my vet by firstname, because that's how she introduced herself to me. If I'm introducing her I try for Dr. First and last name and let her decide to change it if she wants. My vet at the big clinic goes by first name, but mostly because I think his last name is a woman's first name and it's funny to call this very tall man Dr. woman's name.
    Keith: "Now...let's do something normal fathers and daughters do."
    Veronica: "Buy me a pony?"



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Mar. 12, 2008
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    These streets will make you feel brand new, big lights will inspire you, let's hear it for New York
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    Default

    Thanks everyone. It seems in my experience that there is always that one mother that makes their kid call the trainer Ms. Trainer. They always stick out like a sore thumb.


    Quote Originally Posted by heartinrye View Post
    BeauCheval- seeing from your exorbitant amount of threads, you'll be in New England, no need for "Ms."
    Synonyms for exorbitant: excessive, outrageous, unreasonable

    I'd rather ask now than learn the hard way later...or never learn at all. Forums are for posting, and it seems that my posts have been moderately well received discussion topics since they have all had 5+ responses, one has gone to 3 pages...chock it up to misuse?
    "If we we couldn't laugh we'd all go insane, if we weren't all crazy we'd all go insane." ~Jimmy Buffet
    "Pursuing the life of my high-riding heroes I burned up my childhood days..."-Willie Nelson



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Mar. 23, 2009
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    Paddle faster! I hear banjo music...
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    1,159

    Default

    First names around here
    "ronnie was the gifted one, victor was the brilliant intellect, and i [GM], well, i am the plodder."



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jan. 1, 2008
    Posts
    4,864

    Default

    For children/teens, Mr./Mrs./Ms. unless the person in question asks to be called by their first name.

    As an adult, if I'm introduced to someone as Mr./Mrs./Ms. then I will address them with that until they tell me otherwise.

    Just good manners...which of course, there's very little of around these days. Don't get me started on table manners.



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Aug. 13, 2008
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    Default

    Every barn I've been at goes off of a first name basis(BO, BM, trainer, adult boarders, etc).



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jun. 15, 2002
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    5,935

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    Quote Originally Posted by dghunter View Post
    I'm 20 now but have been at my current barn since I was 16 and always called the BO, other boarders, trainers, etc... by their first name. I call my farrier by his first name but the vets I use Dr and their last names.

    ETA: It's funny because I'm so comfortable calling horse people by their first names yet when my professors want me to call them by their first names it makes me feel weird lol.
    Same growing up. I did grow up in the South but I was a bad southern child as I always forgot to say ms/mr first name as a kid. I usually called my barn friend parents by Mr. Mrs. last name though. Now that I am 25 its hard to break the habit even though they tell me to call them by their first name.

    I know also call my vets by their first name.

    Edited: I am a barn manager and do not mind the kids just calling me by my first name. I sometimes gets Ms. first name, but really just my first name is fine.



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jun. 10, 2009
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    1,683

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    Raised in the South. I was brought up calling all adults Mr. & Mrs. last name. Yes, sir & yes, ma'am and all that jazz. It's like reflex, deeply ingrained in me. I'm 20 now and still hesitate before addressing adults by first name unless we're very well acquainted.

    The kids (15ish and under) at the barn call trainer Ms. first name. Call most adults Ms. first name.

    We call the barn workers that clean stalls by their first names. They are the best, love them.
    Last edited by SkipChange; Jan. 4, 2010 at 10:28 PM. Reason: typo



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jun. 1, 2009
    Location
    Australia
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    179

    Default

    Anyone that I see quite often and am "friendly" with I call by their first name. That is, trainer, farrier, vet. My friends parents I usually say Mr/Mrs Last name, unless they ask me to call them by their first name. I'm 21, and I've always done this.

    If I don't know the person, I'll call them whatever they introduce themselves as.

    I'm training to be a coach, and people that I practice on call me by my first name, they are usually young (10-17 year olds).



  18. #18
    Join Date
    May. 6, 2003
    Posts
    1,888

    Default

    I prefer children to call me Miss Loshad or Mrs. Lastname because it is polite and respectful. I cannot stand when children call me by my first name (unless I have invited them to do so) and find it very ill-mannered. People who are significantly older than myself are addressed as Miss Firstname or Mrs. Lastname until I am told to do otherwise.

    This thread is making me feel old and crotchety. If you'll excuse me, I need to go tell some kids to get off my lawn.
    According to the Mayan calendar, the world will not end this week. Please plan your life accordingly.



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Jun. 18, 2009
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    533

    Default

    Even now (at 3 decades+), if I run into a parent of a friend, or someone that I have a "formal" relationship with-it is Mr/Mrs Last Name.

    The farm that I grew up at, riders parents were refered to as Mr/Mrs Kids First Name, by all.

    I personally find it disrespectful to assume that you may call an elder by their first name until given permission. I have been a trainer, and while I did find it odd to have people call me Ms. Vindicated, the children that did were usually the most respectful all the way around.

    Also, I always addressed students parents as either Mr/Mrs. Last Name until told otherwise. It is a business relationship after all.



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jan. 26, 2001
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    4,388

    Default

    I am Miss Kathi, kinda like Miss Scarlet....
    Also Ma'am.
    One of the parents who teaches pre-school actually started the Miss thing. I don't mind it, even some of the college kids still call me that. I also used to tell them they didn't have to say Ma'am, but I figured it was undermining the parents, so I quit that.



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