After much thought and heartache I felt it was time for my two beloved pets to cross over. It was the hardest decision and the hardest thing I've ever done.
I thought if I changed things up a bit with thier feed and care they would be a little more comfortable, but winter has hit a little early this year and they were already miserable
I just knew it was time, and I wanted them to go together. I've had them both since forever and will always be a part of me.
Burial and cremation were not option and they had to be taken by the rendering truck I hate that and makes me sad to think were they went but I take a little solace in knowing that I gave those two a fantastic life.
Chico was my first pony and we were unseparable. He holds so many of my secrets and dreams. He taught me and many kids how to ride and how to fall off without you even knowing you wanted too lol!
And my crazy TB Commander taught me some of the most valueble lessons in the horse world, he was such a pain to ride and take care of, but he was such a nice boy, and not a mean bone in his body and he always tried, even if he was unsure or afraid he trusted me to make the right judgement.
My pasture lays bare now, and it is such and automatic reaction to go to the back window and look for them making sure that yes they are there and not flying around the neighborhood. But not anymore.
The vet was really nice, she cried with me, and everthing went as it was supposed to.
I just wanted to give my special boys a little tribute. They really were the best.
Thank-you you guys. I know that there spirits are free and that there bodies ar no longer useful, but you know, just hard to swallow. esp since I wanted to give them something a little more dignified. but it's done.
I did make them the best meal ever though for their night feeding.
I grated a bag of apples(The pony can't chew hard things) and a bag of carrots, mixed in a jar of apple sauce, and mixed that all in with a huge pot of porridge with corn niblets I shaved off the cob. They loved it! I felt guilty cause you could tell they were like "OMG mom this stuff is awesome! what did we do to deserve this???!"
.....but in the morning I had fed them together and that meant the TB had access to the pony food and when I came out to get them and hour and a half later they had barely touched it and were standing in there shelter. That made me feel better knowing it was time and it was ok.
I got to bury Conny at home, and realize how privileged I am to have been able to do that. So many of us can't.
I'm glad you gave them one last, glorious meal that they truly enjoyed.
Your compassion and love for them shines through in each post.
oh that is really nice that you got to bury her at home!! god I've got to stop reading your replies, i'm sitting at work and tears are just streaming down my face but thank you again so much, it really does make me feel better
Miss J, you're in my thoughts today. What a kind and considerate horsewoman you are to double your pain for the sake of your boys. What I've learned from this forum and the many wise people who participate is that OUR pain and sorrow is greater than theirs. In other words, while we struggle with the decision and grieve for them when they're gone, they harbor no anger, or sorrow, or malevolence. I think it's important to know that their day will progress as usual...or better than usual!....and then they simply go to sleep. When I put my old black lab to sleep, I never had a second thought about being with her during the process. Although family was with me, I insisted on being alone with her. The beautiful, compassionate vet gave me the time I needed to cry and tell her everything I needed to say, and the crossing was peaceful.
Although it's oft said, it bears repeating that this is the price we pay for loving them.
I also lost two of my retired horses (a year ago). It is just a very very sad day, even though of course you did the right thing. I found this board to be very comforting, and I hope reading some of the responses helps a bit. Those two were very lucky indeed to have you, and to have such long and happy lives with you. My thoughts are with you.