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  1. #1
    altermethis Guest

    Angry WWYD? Boarder is down right DANGEROUS

    nevermind...
    Last edited by altermethis; Aug. 24, 2009 at 12:52 PM.



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Nov. 4, 2003
    Location
    Dallas, Georgia
    Posts
    16,868

    Default

    Two choices:

    1- You and the other boarders have an Adult sit-down with the BO wherein you simply and politely state the facts and say "It's her or us"

    -OR-

    2- you give your notice, pack up and leave.
    <>< Sorrow Looks Back. Worry Looks Around. Faith Looks Up! -- Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may be given a cactus, but you don't have to sit on it.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr. 26, 2006
    Location
    Madison, Wisconsin
    Posts
    4,524

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ChocoMare View Post
    Two choices:

    1- You and the other boarders have an Adult sit-down with the BO wherein you simply and politely state the facts and say "It's her or us"

    -OR-

    2- you give your notice, pack up and leave.
    This.
    Quote Originally Posted by tidy rabbit View Post
    Oh, well, clearly you're not thoroughly indoctrinated to COTH yet, because finger pointing and drawing conclusions are the cornerstones of this great online community.



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun. 24, 2005
    Location
    Alabama
    Posts
    9,276

    Default

    I know you don't want to leave, but you may have to leave to protect yourself and your horses. Either way you should start barn shopping now in case-you might not need it but that way you'll know what the possibilities are.
    You can't fix stupid-Ron White



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Nov. 4, 2003
    Location
    Dallas, Georgia
    Posts
    16,868

    Default

    Ok, then do what I did (granted, I'm at a self-care barn but good Human Resources skills work everywhere )

    You have printed up the Stable Rules & Guidelines. Be detailed and succinct. Every boarder gets a copy. Attached to the Rules is a RECEIPT OF UNDERSTANDING that says:

    I have read the attached Stable Rules & Guidelines and agree to abide by all stated rules. I further understand that should I choose to violate these Rules, I and my horse(s) will be subject to eviction with 24 hours written notice.

    Everyone has 3 days to sign and return it to the BO. The first time Crazy Boarder violates it, BO has the authority to evict.
    <>< Sorrow Looks Back. Worry Looks Around. Faith Looks Up! -- Being negative only makes a difficult journey more difficult. You may be given a cactus, but you don't have to sit on it.



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Apr. 26, 2006
    Location
    Madison, Wisconsin
    Posts
    4,524

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by altermethis View Post
    I dont WANT to leave! Unfortunately, the BO's I think wont ask her to leave since she pays promptly...but 3 of us GREAT boarders pay well and on time too...2 of us have more than 1 horse!!!! And I work there, giving the BO her much needed day off...
    Any BO worth her salt won't sacrifice 5 promptly-paid full stalls to save 1 promptly-paid yet wretched boarder.
    Quote Originally Posted by tidy rabbit View Post
    Oh, well, clearly you're not thoroughly indoctrinated to COTH yet, because finger pointing and drawing conclusions are the cornerstones of this great online community.



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Aug. 25, 2005
    Location
    Northeast
    Posts
    10,945

    Exclamation

    Do not scream. Do not raise your voice. Monitor your vocabulary.

    You can shred her while maintaining all of the above. Then go in the tack room, shut the door and pound on a bucket!!!
    Some riders change their horse, they change their saddle, they change their teacher; they never change themselves.



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct. 18, 2000
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    8,087

    Default

    This woman has a serious case of Pay-Attention-To-Me syndrome, and grandstanding is her chosen way of getting others to fill her need. Ignoring it only makes it worse, and dealing with it only plays into it, showing her that it works so she does it again and again. Your BO needs to stop mediating and grow a pair, setting down clear rules and consequences. There is no place for this in a well-run barn and it needs to stop right now. If she's too lured by the money that's coming her way each month to reel this one in, then pack up and move to a safer, SANER barn. Her need for others to fulfill her need for attention will make you miserable, and nothing is worth that. JMO.



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar. 9, 2006
    Location
    Lucama, NC
    Posts
    5,868

    Default

    I would talk again to BO and explain the LIABILITY this woman is! THe BO needs to understand that HE will be liable when the crazy loose horse runs ou of the gates onto the road and a car hits it. Or when the loose hroses causes a bad accident. Then he needs to LAY THE LAW DOWN to the woman and tell her under NO CIRCUMSTANCES is her hrse to be loose anywhere but in a pasture. If she won't follow the rules she should be asked to leave. If he is not willing to do that, then you need to find another place. I would NEVER TOLERATE this at my barn



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb. 8, 2004
    Location
    Rolling hills of Virginny
    Posts
    5,976

    Default

    I'm sorry, but you're deliberately letting your 'good friend' the BO put your horses in harm's way by allowing this woman to do as she pleases.

    It's obvious your 'friend' has no spine, and is only interested in the board money being generated. I certainly wouldn't call someone like that a friend!

    Find another barn, and move your horses. It's apparent the BO isn't going to ask this crazoid to leave, so if you really care about the welfare of your own animals, you'll move them.

    Otherwise, quitcher bitchin'.
    The plural of anecdote is not data.



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Nov. 11, 2002
    Location
    The Cliffs of Insanity
    Posts
    3,992

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ChocoMare View Post
    Ok, then do what I did (granted, I'm at a self-care barn but good Human Resources skills work everywhere )

    You have printed up the Stable Rules & Guidelines. Be detailed and succinct. Every boarder gets a copy. Attached to the Rules is a RECEIPT OF UNDERSTANDING that says:

    I have read the attached Stable Rules & Guidelines and agree to abide by all stated rules. I further understand that should I choose to violate these Rules, I and my horse(s) will be subject to eviction with 24 hours written notice.

    Everyone has 3 days to sign and return it to the BO. The first time Crazy Boarder violates it, BO has the authority to evict.


    \"For all those men who say, \"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free,\" here\'s an update for you: Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it\'s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.\"-



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Sep. 6, 2007
    Location
    San Diego
    Posts
    1,951

    Default

    Otherwise, quitcher bitchin'.
    Yep. If the BO won't do anything, there's nothing you can do. Either put up with it or leave. I'm really surprised that other boarders aren't threatening to move. I would discuss the possibility of the BO getting sued if a person or horse gets hurt.



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Nov. 23, 2001
    Location
    Catharpin, Virginia
    Posts
    6,801

    Default

    What Shawnee said. If you are truly good friends with the BO, perhaps a "come to Jesus" meeting is in order where you can explain the huge risk she is taking by allowing this behavior to go on. As the business owner, she is being NEGLIGENT and could be held financially liable, e.i. lose everything if someone is hurt...not to mention the guilt if someone was permanently disabled. From what you describe it's only a matter of time before that happens.

    Yes, the "Crazy" has a problem...but the BO is really the bigger problem and can resolve it quite easily. He/she needs to get out of denial.

    Why would the BO allow others to face potential danger? That's just irresponsible.



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Jun. 14, 2006
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    11,372

    Default

    I guess if it were me and my concerns seemed to be getting handled like this BUT I really wanted to stay and BO was also my friend, I'd take this angle....

    "BO, you and I are friends. I like you. But business is business. I like you as a trainer, I like this barn, and I REALLY want to stay. But from a CLIENT standpoint, I cannot continue to endanger myself and my horses because this lady is a whackado. It's unsafe. It's a liability for you and it's a danger to me. So I'm telling you as a CLIENT that I am prepared to move to another barn. I won't speak for anyone else, but maybe you should talk to them because I am not the only one who has had run ins. As your friend, I wanted to give you the heads up. As a CLIENT, I'm serious. I'm going to have to leave if she doesn't."

    And then do exactly that. You can always move back if the situation changes.

    If you really are that concerned about it from a SAFETY perspective then you owe it to your horses to get them the heck outta there.
    A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

    Might be a reason, never an excuse...



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jul. 18, 2008
    Location
    Ohio, USA
    Posts
    631

    Default

    Well, if it were ME, I'd have flown off my handle the first time this nonsense came my way. I'd have cornered her and with my finger in her face, let fly a list of expletives that would make a sailor blush and threaten bodily harm should her, or her loose horse ever even THINK of coming within 50 yards of me or mine........

    But then, I'm really not well known for thinking before I speak/act, so it's probably not the best way to handle it. For sure though, I'd make it pretty obvious that MY attention is the kind that she does NOT want aimed in her general direction.

    The notice of rules is probably the best way to go, and then gang up on the BO and give her the, "It's us or her" ultimatum.



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Feb. 23, 2008
    Posts
    4,266

    Default

    It's not technically your job to deal with this - it's the BOs job. If the BO doesn't care or is too much of a doormat to intervene and throw out the bad boarder, you have to look for another place or schedule your whole life around making sure you are never there when crazy is.

    Tell the BO you love her and love the barn, but are going to have to leave if the crazy isn't taken care of, because you can't stand the safety risks to you, your horses, and your farrier. If that doesn't motivate her to fix things, then move.



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Dec. 4, 2002
    Location
    Dungeon of the Ivory Tower
    Posts
    20,394

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by ChocoMare View Post
    Two choices:

    1- You and the other boarders have an Adult sit-down with the BO wherein you simply and politely state the facts and say "It's her or us"

    -OR-

    2- you give your notice, pack up and leave.
    Ditto ditto.
    www.specialhorses.org
    a 501(c)3 organization helping 501(c)3 equine rescues




  18. #18
    Join Date
    Sep. 2, 2005
    Location
    Upstate NY
    Posts
    12,960

    Default

    She certainly does not sound like much of a friend or a good BO if she is only mediating in a situation like you describe. I am guessing her insurance carrier would blow a gasket if they knew she was doing nothing about a situation like this.

    Grow a set and tell the BO like it is - that this is just totally unsafe and you will have to leave if this person does not leave - or give up complaining about it.

    The BO is the only one who can do anything about this.

    Obviously the BO does not care about the welfare of your horses, do you?



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Nov. 23, 2001
    Location
    Catharpin, Virginia
    Posts
    6,801

    Default

    You know, this is not only about someone's horse getting hurt.

    It's about PEOPLE getting hurt and/or being put in harm's way due to the BO's negligence. When you own an equine boarding business, believe it or not the BO IS responsible for the action of others when they are fully aware of it allow it to persist.



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Jun. 14, 2006
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    11,372

    Default

    Nothing to the same extent...but sometimes, BO's don't really MIND if you do the dirty work. LOL

    I have been "dealing" with a semi-neglect case at my current barn. These people are just clueless. But they don't listen even when you're nice about it. And they ARE going to get kicked out.

    Anyway...

    The owners were out one day and when they went to catch their horse, they started HITTING this older mare about the face trying to chase her away. (she is harmless and was just checking them out..she wasn't near them, the daughter had to walk TO the horse to hit it.)

    Then they headed towards my horse who was GRAZING about 15 feet away paying them no attention at all and started chasing her off.

    When they came back into the barn I said something like, "If you're having trouble with the other horses bothering you, there's a longe whip over here. They're all pretty respectful of that. Or you can grab one of us and we can help."

    The gal didn't even acknowledge me and was fixing to walk past and I kind of stepped into her line of sight, big smile on my face but more of a growly voice and said, "I don't think you understand. I saw you hit that horse. She wasn't doing anything wrong. Then I saw you go after my horse. If I ever see you hit one of my horses, I will come unglued. This is me being nice."

    I didn't say anything to the BO. They had left the gate open too...brilliant.

    Anyway, last week I learned that the kid (mom daughter pair) had been caught out in the pasture with the 2 mo foal and his dam and was seen hitting the baby. Swapped stories. Luckily for us they don't come out much but it seems like every time they do there's an incident.

    Some people are just idiots. I personally, am not concerned about other peoples' feelings when it comes to safety and such. I will speak up. Their rights end where mine begin...and that means that I am also a paying boarder and my horses shouldn't be put into bad situations because they're idiots.
    A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

    Might be a reason, never an excuse...



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