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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Oct. 19, 2006
    Location
    area II
    Posts
    1,623

    Default

    We run our own little back yard business. I usually take on one boarder at a time.
    We learned quite quickly never to let the boarders do any work in exchange for $.
    If they buy their own food....the horse goes hungry.
    If they clean their own stalls.....the place ends up smelling.
    etc...

    I figure if I want it done to my standard, better do it myself!
    This is my place and I want things done my way. If you don't like the way I do them, or you don't want to pay what I am asking (which is not much), don't bring your horse here.

    I'm sorry this happened to you. It is especially difficult with "friends". Sorry to say, I suspect your not going to have much of a relationship by the time she is gone. If for no other reason, than just because you will have lost respect for her and her boyfriend.
    Last edited by eventmom; Aug. 5, 2009 at 03:51 PM.



  2. #22
    Join Date
    Apr. 15, 2003
    Location
    Northeast MA
    Posts
    4,072

    Default

    Been there, done that.

    For about 20 years, I've been running my little backyard barn as a co-op. I buy all the feed, bedding, hay, supplies and pass through the cost on a monthly basis. The co-op members provide labor. I finally have enough stalls that they do all the stall cleaning, turning in and out, blanketing etc., and I do all the equipment work, facilities management, etc.

    By and large it has worked well. I've made some dear friends, I always have someone to ride with if I want to (which for me is a plus), and the horses are well-cared for. But there have been some bad matches along the way. The good news is that the bad ones have each taught me something, and my co-op agreement has gone from a handshake to something that specifies how many pounds of feed per day, how deep the bedding can be in stalls and (most importantly) what lack of performance will result in. For instance, the agreement states that if any expenses are not paid within 30 days (think board), the horse is considered abandoned and becomes the property of the farm. Missing a work shift twice will result in termination of the agreement and their immediate expulsion, etc. I have had to become a real hard a$$ because of what some bad apples taught me.

    The hard truth is that no matter what you do, these folks will make you feel badly about asserting your rights as barn owner. But all you are doing is standing up for what is reasonable and for what was clearly contemplated in your agreement. You sound like you have enough friendship in your heart to give them another chance, and that's great. Treat them with respect, but make it clear that they must respect you as well, or your arrangement will be terminated.

    By the way (last piece of advice, I promise), write down everything that has clearly not met your expectations: missed stall cleaning, late payments, everything but your friend's plans to compete her horse (her business, not yours, painful as it may be to watch). Specify dates. When confronted with denial, info like this is a godsend. And keep ongoing records should you decide to continue boarding their horses.

    Good luck, and as the French say, "courage".
    They don't call me frugal for nothing.
    Proud and achy member of the Eventing Grannies clique.



  3. #23
    Join Date
    Aug. 9, 2007
    Posts
    9,131

    Default

    Big deal if the boyfriend is a lawyer, there are a lot of incompetent lawyers around.

    Give boarder a 30 day written notice NOW to leave by, hmmmmmm now it's gotta be October 1st, if board is due and payable on the first of the month.

    Also in writing give notice that they, boarder and boyfriend are not to use your tack or anything else belonging to you.

    Also tell them that they are in violation of their boarding agreement, then state everything they have failed to do, and tell them to either comply with the boarding agreement until Sept 30th or move out now.

    Send letter Certified, return receipt requested, so you'l get the green card saying the boarder signed for it. If both are boarders, send a separate letter to each one. Demand that the stalls are cleaned every other day till they leave. If you don't have a penalty for non compliance with the boarding agreement, make sure you put one in the next agreement, mabe it a monentary amt for your having to do any labor.

    Expect retaliation. They will trash your place and so you need to lock up your stuff, and lock your gates so they cannot turn your horses out on the road. People get mad and can do evil things, so be very careful with your horses and tack. Lock up your feed, don't let them feed or handle any meds or supps.



  4. #24
    Join Date
    May. 23, 2007
    Location
    Southern Indiana
    Posts
    2,546

    Default

    I like the expression "I can't hear what you're saying because what you are doing is so loud!" In otherwards, I would get them the hell out and not listen to any excuses. They had their chance. Buh BYE!



  5. #25
    Join Date
    Apr. 11, 2001
    Location
    Tennessee
    Posts
    6,619

    Default

    If you want to salvage any kind of friendship then don't go into everything they are doing wrong. Just tell them it's not working out for you. It more expensive and time consuming than you originally thought it would be and you've decided that you don't like the extra responsibilities of having boarders so you need them to make other arrangements and leave in 30 days (or whatever the contract says.) So sorry.

    Don't get into it with them, just let them leave and act like you are really sorry. Then lock your stuff up and monitor everything! If they volunteer to be better just shake your head sadly and tell them that your just not into having boarders right now and it wouldn't matter.



  6. #26
    Join Date
    Apr. 15, 2003
    Location
    Northeast MA
    Posts
    4,072

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by subk View Post
    If you want to salvage any kind of friendship then don't go into everything they are doing wrong. Just tell them it's not working out for you. It more expensive and time consuming than you originally thought it would be and you've decided that you don't like the extra responsibilities of having boarders so you need them to make other arrangements and leave in 30 days (or whatever the contract says.) So sorry.

    Don't get into it with them, just let them leave and act like you are really sorry. Then lock your stuff up and monitor everything! If they volunteer to be better just shake your head sadly and tell them that your just not into having boarders right now and it wouldn't matter.
    Well said, Subk. Your suggestion is spot on if she doesn't want any other boarders anytime soon.
    They don't call me frugal for nothing.
    Proud and achy member of the Eventing Grannies clique.



  7. #27
    Join Date
    Jun. 25, 2004
    Location
    Carolinas
    Posts
    4,984

    Default Coppers Mom & Subk are correct

    Quote Originally Posted by subk View Post
    If you want to salvage any kind of friendship then don't go into everything they are doing wrong. Just tell them it's not working out for you. It more expensive and time consuming than you originally thought it would be and you've decided that you don't like the extra responsibilities of having boarders so you need them to make other arrangements and leave in 30 days (or whatever the contract says.) So sorry.

    Don't get into it with them, just let them leave and act like you are really sorry. Then lock your stuff up and monitor everything! If they volunteer to be better just shake your head sadly and tell them that your just not into having boarders right now and it wouldn't matter.
    Don't get stuck in the what did or did not happen. You say it didn't happen, they say it did or they will do better, just give them more time or show them how, etc. Just deflect the reason for their leaving - too much responsibility on you, extra $ for insurance, you are not making a profit, etc. Give them a time certain to leave. As others have noted, monitor your belongs and critters. Hold them to the departure time. Even provide names + numbers of local barns - Wish them well, be 'sad' & change the locks after they are gone. Good Luck
    "Never do anything that you have to explain twice to the paramedics."
    Courtesy my cousin Tim



  8. #28
    Join Date
    Nov. 5, 2002
    Location
    way out west
    Posts
    3,193

    Default

    I've only ever had one boarder, and she was my best "horsey" friend...and it still ended badly. Her horse was so destructive it was driving me crazy. She'd just shrug.

    I'll never do it again. Ever.

    I got her to move when I sadly told her I had no choice but to double what she was paying in board. She was gone the next day.

    We're still friends, but it was dicey there for a while. I never went into all the reasons I didn't want her there anymore, just told her the price of hay and shavings had gone up so much I had no choice but to pass them on to her.



  9. #29
    Join Date
    Nov. 24, 2006
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    2,625

    Default

    Quite frankly I don't think I'd want to be friends with a person like that either. I think I would just want them out of my barn ASAP.

    I'd give them their notice tommorrow and charge them a fee for each time you have to clean their horses stalls due to their laziness.

    It sounds like you have a lovely facility and tried to help this friend out. Sorry to hear your getting screwed.

    As a friend of mine always says...there are takers and there are givers. Your friend sounds like a taker.



  10. #30
    Join Date
    Apr. 27, 2008
    Posts
    2,292

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by WhyGeorgia View Post
    Also, I will be raising the board at the meeting so they may decide to look elsewhere on their own (my hope). Although it will still be about $100 less per month than average.
    No you won't. You'll be giving them notice to leave. So there is no board to discuss.

    These sound like excellent recommendations to me ... good luck!

    Quote Originally Posted by Zu Zu
    Ask them to leave - 30 days notice ~ or less- and lock up your tack - monitor ~ monitor monitor! You need to keep your barn safe and clean as well as your sanity. Forget the friendship ~ they are not being good friends to you. IMHO Good-Luck Make a plan to have them moved out by end of August as they have not paid through that month. Like you move by August 15th and we forget the last half of board $ for August - would that work for you
    Quote Originally Posted by Coppers mom
    I would sit them down and say "Susie, I really value your friendship, and I don't want it to be messed up just because we have different ways of caring for our horses. I think that maybe it's best that you find another place to board, preferably by X date.". Explain that you're just losing money, and you don't want it to effect your relationship. Even if you don't want to be friends with her later on, it's best to keep things nice for the sake of things being civil until she leaves.



  11. #31
    Join Date
    Feb. 23, 2008
    Posts
    4,266

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by WhyGeorgia View Post
    Oh yes, there is a contract, they just choose to ignore it completely.

    Thanks Zu Zu, I'm beginning to think this is my only option.....
    What other options are there?

    She has a change of heart and realizes she's being a complete ...fill-in-the-blank?

    People who let things go like that, and abuse all the rules, are NOT going to wake up one morning and say "geez, I've been such a ________, I'm going to go make it all right"

    I think you just need to throw them out. Give them the shortest notice the contract allows (and it may allow no notice if they have broken rules), and be done with having boarders.

    I would suggest billing them for each thing they break, borrow, or fail to do, but they clearly can't even afford the regular board, so don't bother.



  12. #32
    Join Date
    Jan. 12, 2007
    Posts
    532

    Default

    Tell them you're getting out of the boarding business and they need to move their horses out by __________. (pick a date.) Just say that you are closing up shop (to boarders) and you are only keeping your own horses on your property. You know, a going out of business sale.

    Then don't take boarders again.



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