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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Aug. 26, 2008
    Posts
    878

    Default How to stay out of drama?

    So I am looking for some advice.

    I know the best way to stay out of drama is to "stay as far away as possible" but what do you do when you can't get away?

    I don't want to give al ot of details but basically one of my fellow working students is acting very un-professional specifically when our trainer is not around. Our trainer has spoken with her about her behavior and it gets better for a time then she returns to her old behaviors.

    She does her job but doesn't go "over and beyond" and always has an attitude (accept when head trainer is around, then she is a Joy to be around) and our new assistant trainer (been here for only a few weeks) is already considering leaving due to her un-professional behavior. This working-student has also been a partial reason for two previous assistant-trainers to leave.

    I don't want the new trainer to leave but I don't want to get involved in (or create) the drama. I just do my job, make a point to be friends with everyone, not take sides, and keep my mouth shut (aka. being professional).

    I just don't know what I am suppose to do, I feel like I should step in and say something but at the same time I don't want to "stir the pot." Mind this other working student already intimidates me and in general doesn't really me.

    We are both teenagers but I am the only one that doesn't act like it.

    So I am hoping for some advice from the wealth of experience cothers have to offer.

    Am I just being a weeny and I should step up and say something? Or just keep my mouth shut and mind my own business?
    “It's about the horse and that's it.” - GM

    !! is the new .



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jul. 10, 2008
    Posts
    1,068

    Default

    I'm not a working student but we had one like this at our barn. What a PITA! As a client I was so happy to see her leave. She was always slacking off and complaining to anyone and had a horrible attitude. I complained when my horses water missed getting filled or when her paddock was poorly cleaned, but the final straw for me was when she either didn't re-wrap my horse's leg or did such a poor job it was falling off after 3 hours - she had an infected cut and all the edema that was finally gone came back that morning. Not that my complaining ever did any long term good - she finally left on her own a few months later.

    What ever you do take comfort in knowing that you are probably far from being the only one that has noticed the poor performance and attitude of this other working student.

    Unless you are being prevented from doing your job in some way or if the horses are neglected under her care or in danger I would probably keep quite until asked and wait for the train wreck to finish it's course. If you are in the position encourage the assistant trainer to address it. Otherwise keep you head down and keep up the good work - nothing like having a good example around to remind everyone what they should be getting out of a working student.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec. 11, 2005
    Location
    Southern California - Hemet
    Posts
    1,781

    Default

    I suggest keeping to your own business and let the other working student fall into the hole she's busily digging for herself. However, if her behavior creates any danger to the horses or to other people, then speaking up would be advisable. Good luck and hang in there. Most of these PITA types do themselves in pretty efficiently.



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Apr. 2, 2004
    Location
    Louisville, KY
    Posts
    3,218

    Default

    I"d just keep doing what you're doing. She will get hers. I know it's really frustrating right now, but it will work itself out. If new trainer decides to leave, I'm sure head trainer will ask why, and pray the new trainer will be honest. Hopefully at that point, head trainer will step in and get rid of her.
    Strong promoter of READING the entire post before responding.



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul. 22, 2007
    Location
    South of Georgia, North of Miami
    Posts
    1,118

    Default

    Unless she's putting something/someone in danger or stealing (and you know for certain and have proof) take the high road and let her dig her own hole. She's not fooling anybody.



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Nov. 18, 2004
    Location
    Catonsville, MD
    Posts
    6,943

    Default

    Unfortunately, your post is so vague that it is hard to give advice. The best way to manage someone who just generally has a poor attitude is to keep doing your job and demonstrate a forthcoming and helpful attitude. I don't really know, in the context of your post, what 'unprofessional' means. Is she avoiding tasks that are her responsibility? Is she talking about her boss and others in an inappropriate way? Is she mishandling or failing to care thoroughly and appropriately for the horses?

    Steer clear, don't tell tales unless the specific welfare of a horse is being diminished, and be as much unlike Ms. Unprofessional as you can. The rest will sort itself out, and you don't really want to be a part of it as it unfolds.
    I tolerate all kinds of animal idiosyncrasies.
    I've found that I don't tolerate people idiosyncrasies as well. - Casey09




  7. #7
    Join Date
    Mar. 13, 2002
    Location
    Columbia, MD USA
    Posts
    2,858

    Default

    Let the trainer handle any problems. Be proud of yourself for having a strong work ethic. Some teens and adults just don't. Guess who's happier?



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Apr. 1, 2003
    Location
    Cocoa, Fla
    Posts
    4,337

    Default

    If new assistant has told you she's thinking about leaving because of Ms "X" then tell assistant trainer that "X" has cause this to happen before but you're not sure of the trainer realizes that fact - then leave it to asst. trainer to tell trainer about the problem.

    If Asst trainer has NOT confided in you - keep your head low and mouth shut (like you have been).
    Sandy in Fla.



  9. #9
    Join Date
    May. 15, 2009
    Location
    Eastern Ontario, CND
    Posts
    2,191

    Default

    I think you can speak with the head trainer in private (and not speak to either the other student or the assistant trainer about what is going on) and not get involved with what is going on. I would make it a point, when speaking with the head trainer, that you want to stay out of it and I'm sure they will respect your wishes.

    Good for you for taking the high road.
    "For some people it's not enough to just be a horse's bum, you have to be sea biscuit's bum" -anon.
    Nes' Farm Blog ~ DesigNes.ca
    Need You Now Equine



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Feb. 18, 2003
    Location
    Alberta
    Posts
    5,576

    Default

    Stay out of it, keep working hard & just quietly watch it all unfold! If the assistant trainer really does have a problem with this girl, let HER deal with it! If she doesn't deal with it & just quits, then that's her problem not yours. As long as there's no abuse or neglect, just be the more adult about it & stay out of it!
    Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jun. 14, 2006
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    11,372

    Default

    How is it that you know that asst. trainer is thinking of leaving? If she is confiding in you, then I'd tell her, "You know, I really think you should talk to head trainer."

    Else, MYOB.

    Don't lie if asked directly about the issues by head trainer. Stick to the facts.
    A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

    Might be a reason, never an excuse...



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Aug. 26, 2008
    Posts
    878

    Default

    Thanks for all the advice, I am glad to here that so far I am doing the right thing.

    Ast. trainer has not confided with me other than disapproval of some of the girl's behaviors (ex. bring BF to barn, texting instead of working, not putting customers first, leaving before everything is done, etc. so nothing explicitly dangerous to anything but the barn's reputation), which I earnestly encouraged her to speak to our Head Trainer. But a woman who trail rides with the asst. trainer told me that the asst. trainer is not sure she is wanting to stay. If the asst. trainer had told me that I already would have talked with our Head Trainer.

    I just am going to continue to keep my head down unless something changes.

    I really do appreciate all of the comments, this truly is weighing on my conscious and it is good to hear encouraging words.
    “It's about the horse and that's it.” - GM

    !! is the new .



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Oct. 18, 2000
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    8,171

    Default

    [quote=*JumpIt*;4152164] "...But a woman who trail rides with the asst. trainer told me that the asst. trainer is not sure she is wanting to stay. If the asst. trainer had told me that I already would have talked with our Head Trainer.
    I just am going to continue to keep my head down unless something changes."


    I would advise to keep your head down and your mouth shut especially if that happens. Stay out of it, stay out of it, stay out of it. There must be a few more things you can do around there to keep yourself busy and completely out of this mess. You want to come out of this smelling like a rose, not like a pile pf poop!



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