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  1. #21
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    Mar. 10, 2004
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    OMG, JSwan, that was too much! Hilarious!!
    A Merrick N Dream Farm
    Proud Member of "Someone Special to me serves in the Military" Clique



  2. #22
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    Feb. 6, 2003
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    Quote Originally Posted by JSwan View Post
    The answer to your question is that I have not found anything that will keep Chucky from not acting according to his nature. I bet he'd be one heck of a fighting cock.
    Write a book about him and let him finance your retirement - and THEN cook him !



  3. #23
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    Oct. 23, 2001
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    Well JSwan, you'll savor that meal eh??!! Mine aren't that bad - yet.

    Mine are 6 months old and are due to add another couple pounds on them. I can picture one of mine being as evil as yours. "Tyson" does some of the same things as Chucky. He stalks, innocently pecks, and if you blink he's ruffling those feathers and shaking.

    My new thing this weekend was to go after him before he came after me. So far so good but it won't last. He's outta here and his friend may go with him. I hate to leave my hens unattended by a rooster but after watching him ravage a couple of my hens last night they may be thanking me.

    One thing I have going for me is he's away from my house. I'm grateful for my double & triple fencing right now that's for sure. Let's just say I try to keep a horse between him and me - or carry a stick. Such fun.
    "Concern for animals is a matter of taking the side of the weak against the strong, something the best people have always done." Harriet Beecher Stowe 1811-1896

    Ponies are cool!



  4. #24
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    Oct. 18, 2000
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    Quote Originally Posted by equinelaundry View Post
    Let's just say I try to keep a horse between him and me - or carry a stick. Such fun.

    Try a tennis racket. I've got quite a collection of weapons propped against buildings and machinery around here. The most effective and satisfying one is the tennis racket. My backhand could use some work but my serve and forehand are faaaahhhbulous.

    I used to call him Cato - because I resembled Inspector Clouseau (in more ways than one), wandering around his house waiting for his servant Cato to pounce on him from behind a door. The mayhem, slow motion karate chops and sound effects, the running around and hiding and coming around from behind... yup. Right out of an old Pink Panther movie.

    But the pitter patter of little feet and the evil intent and diminutive size is more apropos of Chucky. The hens are Brides of Chucky.

    The guy that helped us butcher last fall mentioned that his brother had an evil rooster that needed to go in the pot - but he was looking for a nice rooster. I gave him one of my Australorps and last I heard, that rooster was screwing his brains out and gentle as a lamb. Lucky bird.

    I'm expecting 50 chicks sometime next week and some of them are Australorps. I order straight run so I'm sure I'll have plenty of nice roos to choose from.

    Good luck with your roosters - you'll need it! Seems like everyone I encounter has either an evil rooster story or an evil goat story - lots of traumatized people out there.



  5. #25
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    Jul. 31, 2007
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    Dude, what are these things good for? I'm sure God or Chuck Darwin had a reason for inventing them.

    Before you put a mean, extraneous rooster in a pot, I suggest you feed him up as you would a steer you would butcher. The least he could do is taste good on the way out!

    A little "artificial selection" could be practiced. Why not preserve the mellow rooster who keeps the girls in line rather than a mean one?
    The armchair saddler
    Politically Pro-Cat



  6. #26
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    Jan. 30, 2007
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    I am laughing remembering an incident with my former BO's rooster. This guy came from some really gentle stock, and had never bothered ANYONE.
    Well, that is, until the hooker boots. (JSwan, I am not going to beat your story, but I had to throw that in there!)
    Part of my evening feed routine was to throw the chickens some feed and lock them in for the night.
    It had been raining, and I knew that running shoes would be soggy pretty quick. So, I wore my hooker boots.
    These were actually bright yellow rubber ankle boots, which my BO thought would be well suited to a lady of the evening.
    Not being Aunt Esther, I ignored her opinion. What a mistake.
    I was trundling over to the henhouse, bucket of grain in one hand and a bucket of water in another, followed by clucking hens, when I let out language worthy of a hooker at the sudden and unexpected pain of an attacking rooster - and yes, I was wearing shorts at the time.
    I am quite certain that the image of my Rubenesque self, in my hooker boots, chasing a rooster 'round a pond has been burned into the brain of my former BO.
    Know what? He never offered to attack anybody before or since....it was the boots!
    Dee
    (PS - around here, some people use screw-on electrial connectors to cover the spurs on roosters - not sure how humane that is, but it seems to be a local custom)
    Founder of the I LOFF my worrywart TB clique!
    Official member of the "I Sing Silly Songs to My Animals!" Clique
    http://wilddiamondintherough.blogspot.ca/



  7. #27
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    Dec. 20, 2006
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    Western NY
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    These stories are great. We have a Rhode Island Red rooster that is getting cockier by the day. He's just over 1 yr. DH and I have both booted him across the yard because of his antics. They are back stabbing, rotten, good for nothing but stew IMO. The other day DH let the flock of 15 out and that dang thing started jumping on every hen out there. Poor girls are featherless on their backs now. So DH grabed him by his scrony neck and heaved him. He left them alone the rest of the day. And he came after me when I was putting water in their pen. I stuck up my boot at him and he fluffed himself making himself look oh so tuff and macho. That was until I stepped back, grabed out chicken stick, I wacked him and sent him flying into the lawn mower and off he went. You really can't hurt those buggers. Not that we are trying, we are only trying to protect ourselves.

    Has anyone used the potato method of spur removal? We are thinking of trying that but have never done it before.
    R.I.P Vanny 26 yr QH Stallion 4/11/82 - 5/8/08, Scout 28 yr Paint Cross Gelding, Glistening 11 yr Arab/Saddlebred Mare



  8. #28
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    Oct. 18, 2000
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    I LOVE all these stories!

    The electrical connector idea is really interesting. Heard about the potato thing on this BB but haven't tried it.

    I'm a little askeert of ticking Chucky off. If I tried anything it would have to be at night.

    At this very second he's at the back door, crowing. I don't need a Star Trek universal translator to understand what he's saying.

    There is this really funny site I like to link to when a "mean goat" story is posted. It's http://www.goat-trauma.org/

    We need a site for victims of evil roosters! That would be a hoot. We could have a photo gallery of all the rooster weapons people have had to use. Tennis rackets, hooker boots, potatoes, electrical connectors..... buckets... and photos of the evil roosters - like a 10 Most Wanted list, listing breeds by their "evil rooster" factor.

    There could be a sub category of "evil geese or evil ducks". No doubt there are goose and duck victims, too. I've got a photo of an evil African goose that used to attack me at my old boarding barn. Usually he goosed us when we were bent over cleaning hooves.

    One day I was taking photos and had crouched down to take a photo of two pot-bellied pigs snoozing. I sensed something behind me and whirled around and took a photo. It came out perfectly and captured that goose racing towards me with his neck down and straight out - ready to goose me.

    I loved that goose - he was a trip.



  9. #29
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    Jul. 21, 2006
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    South Carolina
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    Quote Originally Posted by JSwan View Post

    I put that mower in 6th gear and revved it - yelling - YOU UNGRATEFUL *!(*#)!!*&# I brought you into this world and I can take you out!!!!!!!!

    And he hopped out of the way at the last second. I turned my head to see if he was going to attack me from behind and I ran right into the laundry line.

    Not sure who won that particular battle but only one of us emerged with our dignity intact.

    My most recent bright idea was to wear a halloween mask on the back of my head so he thinks I'm looking at him when my back is turned. Like what people do in tiger country. I have no self-respect left.

    Thank you, JSwan. What a wonderful mental picture - only now I'm going to be cracking up all day when I think of it.
    Y'know, you really should publish a story collection.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  10. #30
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    May. 2, 2008
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    This is great! I recently moved my horse to a working farm complete with cows, chickens, and even a goat and donkey. We have the Rhode Island Reds for egg laying and an assortment of freebie roosters. Fortunately I haven't had problems with them attacking me. There are two big white chickens, all I know is they're the kind you eat. Lulu is the hen and she is the sweetest chicken around, loves to be petted and will watch me clean my stall and cock her head when I talk to her. Her buddy, yet to be named, is a rooster and has pecked a couple people but lets me pet him and pick him up when it's time to go in for the night. Hopefully he stays docile, otherwise he'll be a tasty meal I'm sure. Never knew chickens were so much fun!



  11. #31
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    May. 2, 2007
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    Quote Originally Posted by JSwan View Post
    Chucky is getting on my last nerve.

    I know what the answer is. It's chicken and dumplings.

    But my neighbor did the same to his evil rooster and then lost his flock soon after. Whatever his faults - that rooster keeps the hens together and near or under shelter - and always patrols when they're out in the open.

    I really and truly do love animals, but I tell you plain - that rooster may be the most evil animal I have ever known.

    It's one thing to have a fit of temper or be a bit protective - quite another to lie in wait and beat the crap out of a person when his back is turned.

    I swear on the Bible this is what happens.

    I open the back door and off in the distance I see a head pop up. I start putting up laundry, or maybe fill the water bowl... only to turn around to see that SOB has raced about 200 feet towards me. Fast little bas**rd.

    As soon as he sees me, he freezes. Then he starts pecking the ground perfectly innocently.

    Turn my back - and I hear pitter patter pitter patter - turn around - Chucky freezes about 10 feet from me.

    I warn him to keep away from me - and he flares his neck feathers, puts his head down - and attacks.

    Out comes my tennis racket. Ffffwwwwiiiing... and Chucky is booted away, unhurt.

    SOB comes back for more - this time he flies up in the air with talons towards me.
    Fwwwwwiiing - I score another point.

    Chucky gives me the evil eye and walks away.

    That only lasts a few minutes, though. He's right back at it as soon as I turn my back, and God forbid I try and bend over. He weighs about 10-12 pounds - and when he hits you it really does hurt and bruise - especially if he spurs you.

    Yesterday I cut the grass in the back yard and the SOB ran over and stood right in front of the mower. Can you believe that? I mean he just purposefully walked over and STOOD in the path of the mower.

    Well... I stopped the mower and idled it - sitting there waiting for him to move out of the way.

    Nope - he wanted ME to move out of the way. Then he flared his neck feathers and got ready to charge.

    I put that mower in 6th gear and revved it - yelling - YOU UNGRATEFUL *!(*#)!!*&# I brought you into this world and I can take you out!!!!!!!!

    And he hopped out of the way at the last second. I turned my head to see if he was going to attack me from behind and I ran right into the laundry line.

    Not sure who won that particular battle but only one of us emerged with our dignity intact.

    My most recent bright idea was to wear a halloween mask on the back of my head so he thinks I'm looking at him when my back is turned. Like what people do in tiger country. I have no self-respect left.



    The answer to your question is that I have not found anything that will keep Chucky from not acting according to his nature. I bet he'd be one heck of a fighting cock.

    He's going in the pot soon. Unless one of y'all have a better idea. For what it's worth - I did not handraise this flock and do not treat them like little feather children. My hens are nice and henlike - and the rooster is just acting like a rooster. He was supposed to be a Speckled Sussex... but the order got screwed up and he's either a RIR or maybe a Welsummer. Looks like RIR to me. Sure as he** acts like one.
    I'm sorry, but this is the #1 funniest post that I have read in a very VERY long time! Thanks so much for the giggles!


    1 members found this post helpful.

  12. #32
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    Apr. 5, 2009
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    Missouri
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    When I was 4 we had a mean RIR rooster that my mom named Brockford Crockard. We ate him.

    When I had loose chickens I noticed that in the rooster dominance fights the winner would chase the looser around until he was squawking, running with his head lowered and wings flapping (he looked absolutely terrified), looking for a place to hide. So when one of my lovely boys approached me aggressively I chased him for awhile after I got the terrified-and-looking-for-a-place-to hide-run from him. I usually didn't have any trouble with them after that. Sometimes they needed a refresher coarse and I was happy to oblige them.
    If I just chased them away for a little ways (running away with their heads up) they always came back at me.

    You can use a dremmel to grind down sharp spurs, or use large dog guillotine nippers. They have a quick like dog nails so if you cut too much off they bleed. It's a minor wound as compared to decapitation.


    1 members found this post helpful.

  13. #33
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    Nov. 23, 2001
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    J Swan -- do you have a past history in advertising as a copy writer? I'm one and I swear if you are not copy writing as a career, you should be.

    I've never been so "hooked" on a thread about a freaking rooster...laughing all the way.



  14. #34
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    Jun. 4, 2001
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    Florida
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    Quote Originally Posted by Sentry Chick View Post
    These stories are great. We have a Rhode Island Red rooster that is getting cockier by the day. He's just over 1 yr. DH and I have both booted him across the yard because of his antics. They are back stabbing, rotten, good for nothing but stew IMO. The other day DH let the flock of 15 out and that dang thing started jumping on every hen out there. Poor girls are featherless on their backs now. So DH grabed him by his scrony neck and heaved him. He left them alone the rest of the day. And he came after me when I was putting water in their pen. I stuck up my boot at him and he fluffed himself making himself look oh so tuff and macho. That was until I stepped back, grabed out chicken stick, I wacked him and sent him flying into the lawn mower and off he went. You really can't hurt those buggers. Not that we are trying, we are only trying to protect ourselves.

    Has anyone used the potato method of spur removal? We are thinking of trying that but have never done it before.
    My neighbor down the road uses that method on some. On others, they literally just twist off the spurs with plyers. Only "pop" and "cicle" didn't live long enough to have to have spur removal. They went into the freezer. Anyway, none of her roosters that are currently running around are any worse for the wear. In fact they don't seem to be phased by the whole process.
    "Sometimes you just have to shut up and color."



  15. #35
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    Oct. 25, 2007
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    I have had chickens for 40 years, so have had my share of nasty roosters. Actually has one super monster, and most of the others were nice.

    Last rooster I had, started to do the aggressive dance with me. WHat I learned was if I ignored him, and skirted around him rather than confront him, it would not entice him to come at me.

    When you kick back, do anything in return to their nasty behavior, you are actually encouraging them to attack.

    So, with this rooster, we took the retreat quietly approach and after a month or even less, he grew disinterested in attacking humans.



  16. #36
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    Jun. 4, 2001
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    Florida
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    fivehorses

    This is what I was told as well. Don't fight back. With my mille fleur I ignored him b/c he was so little. He started to size up a 3 yr old little boy and well...that wasn't cool. I'd catch him, flip him upside down and carry him around like a football. Finally had to "place" him with a guy who wanted him for breeding. I've had to resort to a trashcan lid for some other evil roos my friend "had" as I literally felt like I walked onto the set of Jurassic Park and they were the velociraptors.
    "Sometimes you just have to shut up and color."



  17. #37
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    Mar. 9, 2001
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    Just be glad you don't have sheep.


    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kdF_B...eature=related



  18. #38
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    Oct. 18, 2000
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    Quote Originally Posted by sid View Post
    J Swan -- do you have a past history in advertising as a copy writer? I'm one and I swear if you are not copy writing as a career, you should be.

    I've never been so "hooked" on a thread about a freaking rooster...laughing all the way.

    No - but I did do a lot of writing and speaking; mostly technical/legal/development type stuff. Haven't done any of that in years except for some volunteer work.

    Yesterday my vet came to give one of my horse his IV tet shot and he noticed the tennis racket laying on top of the trash can.

    He asked, "Do you play tennis?"

    I replied, "Hmmmm, more like badminton."


    Leather - no sheep! My butt is too big a target!

    Equinelaundry - I bet you're having fun and I hope your garden is flourishing.



  19. #39
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    Dec. 20, 2006
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    Western NY
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    Quote Originally Posted by fivehorses View Post
    Last rooster I had, started to do the aggressive dance with me. WHat I learned was if I ignored him, and skirted around him rather than confront him, it would not entice him to come at me.

    When you kick back, do anything in return to their nasty behavior, you are actually encouraging them to attack.

    So, with this rooster, we took the retreat quietly approach and after a month or even less, he grew disinterested in attacking humans.
    Yeah, we tried doing that and putting it simple, it did not work cause whether you were backing away or going around him, he still comes running after you aggresivley and tries to jump on you.

    And it's not just his spurs that get you, it's his nails too. Is that what you call them, nails? Or claws? Anyways, I'm not gonna be the one trying to clip, trim or remove them, that is all up to DH. I have no patience for that. LOL.
    R.I.P Vanny 26 yr QH Stallion 4/11/82 - 5/8/08, Scout 28 yr Paint Cross Gelding, Glistening 11 yr Arab/Saddlebred Mare



  20. #40
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    Sep. 13, 2008
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    Vermont
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    Got to say that rooster tennis racket story is the funniest thing Ive read in a while. Sure put a smile on my face.

    I sure can relate to the ram video. I lived with that for a very long time, it seemed like forever. He was born in my barn, the cutest little thing ever. He was a Dorset ram. He didn't stay sweet for long. I truly believe the animal really hated me, the only one who ever has.

    He would ram my car just like the one in the video here. I had a Pinto wagon at the time. It had ram jams the whole way down both sides. He hated me so much he would follow me around the trailer from the outside and ram the side of it. We lived in a trailer on my in laws farm. IT was about 500 yards to their house cross lot, and about 1/4 mile to my mailbox down the drive. If I could time it so the sheep were grazing up back, as they did each afternoon ,I could usually sneak down to hte mailbox unnoticed. But many times he would notice me once I was down there, and that was painful. He would charge right down there and just start pounding me, he'd get me down, I would try to get up but he'd just knock me right back down. Eventually someone would hear me and come to my rescue. But this was far from pleasant. It is still very clear 30 yrs later.

    I would have to back the car up to the steps of the trailer and open the hatchbackk to get the kids safely in the car.Then he would ram jam the car the whole way down the driveway and usually just past the inlaws drive, a long way. But he only bothered the kids if they were with me. He never bothered them while they were out playing, not even once. He left them right alone. I never once did anything to that sheep, he had no reason to hate me, I swear, but he sure did. One time I had almost made it back inside, I was on the steps. He rammed the steps and they pulled right away from the trailer and both the steps and me went rolling down lawn and he then pounded me.

    I thought I'd be smart and I tied him to a farm implement on a swivel. That did not do any good and in the long run made things worse. Yup, for a few weeks he did not get me, but soon, he developed massive shoulders and ran with that piece of iron as well as he did before. Obviously he couldn't be let to run around with a hunk of machine so husband let him loose again. Now husband really liked this ram. I think he found it grand that this was something that had some kind of control over me. He had always tried to and never got anywhere with that. The ram broke his leg and hubby spent hundreds of dollars getting his leg casted and changed and all that. And these ppl were old fashioned farmers who did their own vet work or there was none at all. Sick cows did not get a vet, more often a bullet. Things sure changed on that when we took the farm over.

    Finally it got so he was going after the milk pick up guy too and so then the inlaws said he had to go or stay tied. Well, this last tie was the end, he somehow got tangled around a wheel and broke his neck. He was not cared for by me so I don't know the exacts. I do know that even after his death had happened by a yr he again came back to haunt me. The dogs dragged him back into the yard bone by bone. Apparently FIL had not taken him but only down over the bank behind the barn. I knew it was him for sure when I finally was brought the leg bone that had healed. You could sure tell where the fracture was from the thickening of hte healed bone. I still have that here somewhere, all these yrs later along with one of his curly horns. That bastard was one mean sheep.



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