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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan. 28, 2000
    Location
    Columbia, Maryland
    Posts
    7,041

    Default Options for Notifying CotHers if You Pass Away

    The question came up a few weeks ago on another BB about how would your BB social network, e.g., CotH, know if you passed away. Well today, the following relevant article appeared.

    http://tech.yahoo.com/news/ap/.....ath_online

    With online social networks becoming ever more important in our lives, they're also becoming an important element in our deaths. Spangenberg, who died suddenly from an abdominal aneurysm at 57, was unprepared, but others are leaving detailed instructions. There's even a tiny industry that has sprung up to help people wrap up their online contacts after their deaths.
    . . . a site called Deathswitch, where people can set up e-mails that will be sent out automatically if they don't check in at intervals they specify, like once a week. For $20 per year, members can create up to 30 e-mails with attachments like video files.
    If Deathswitch sounds morbid, there's an alternative site: Slightly Morbid. It also sends e-mail when a member dies, but doesn't rely on them logging in periodically while they're alive. Instead, members have to give trusted friends or family the information needed to log in to the site and start the notification process if something should happen.
    Links to the sites:

    http://www.deathswitch.com/

    https://www.slightlymorbid.com
    "No matter how well you perform there's always somebody of intelligent opinion who thinks it's lousy." - Laurence Olivier



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Dec. 13, 2005
    Location
    New England
    Posts
    1,374

    Default

    Hell, if I don't check in here because I'm dead, go have a party, would ya?
    I know I will be.



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Aug. 9, 2007
    Posts
    9,022

    Default

    If there's a slaughter thread and I don't post, then either my computer is dead or I'm dead.
    Saves the $20 for deathwitch posting.



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jun. 14, 2006
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    11,372

    Default

    Shoot, if I don't make a point of telling peeps that I'm going to be offline for a DAY I've got my phone ringing off the hook "you okay?" (not here, but on another BB)

    I can recall once when my old boss was heading out on a business trip...he gave me a login and pw for a BB he was on---more of one of those avatar life-like "world" places. Anyway, he had been having kind of an online affair it seemed and if something happened to him, he wanted me to notify his GF! eek!
    A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

    Might be a reason, never an excuse...



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Oct. 2, 2008
    Location
    Manchester, England
    Posts
    111

    Default

    Can you imagine a COTH-style wake after a notification? That would be....incredible. But I do worry about all of the lurkers who might go quietly...



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Dec. 20, 2003
    Location
    Hillsborough, NC
    Posts
    1,336

    Default

    I don't think anyone here would notice if I were gone.
    Only one cat - must not be totally crazy yet!



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan. 16, 2003
    Location
    Tennessee
    Posts
    2,930

    Default

    I told my hubby, or son, or whoever is around to start a new thread and tell everyone I was gone. Not that a lot of people would notice, but it's the polite thing to do. If it doesn't happen, I'm ok, as long as my horses are cared for.



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Oct. 31, 2006
    Location
    Florida
    Posts
    1,997

    Default

    On another non-horsey board we lost a young member to a car accident. It was a long term thing, as she was in a coma after the accident then later passed on. Members of the board that she was in usual contact with and had trades with used previous contact information to get hold of her parents and found out what happened. While she was still in a coma the board sent her cards and letters her parents would read her, and the mother became a board member. The community supported her and provided a large virtual shoulder for her and her family. She was very touched that her girl was thought so highly of. I have one board I'm group owner for and I know they'd figure out something was wrong. They also have my contact info, as it's a small community. Should something happen to me, it would probably make it through the grapevine to those who need to know.



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct. 14, 2004
    Location
    Connecticut
    Posts
    8,994

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by pony4me View Post
    I told my hubby, or son, or whoever is around to start a new thread and tell everyone I was gone. Not that a lot of people would notice, but it's the polite thing to do. If it doesn't happen, I'm ok, as long as my horses are cared for.
    My husband who have no clue how to post here, nor even know that I visit here...lol

    I guess if there is an Off Topic day and I'm not here to discuss politics, then consider me dead.



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar. 23, 2005
    Location
    Portland, Oregon
    Posts
    4,182

    Default

    I suppose it might get back here through one of my friends, if they thought to post it. None of my family would have any thought to post about it anywhere, certainly.

    And, really, I just don't think it's that big a deal if I die and COTH never finds out about it - neither I nor the board are THAT important in the grand scheme of things.
    Proud member of the EDRF



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jan. 31, 2003
    Posts
    18,472

    Default

    There certainly is precedent for it.. the person who comes to mind right away was Joanne... awww crap, there was an extension on her name and I cannot remember it..

    anyway, she was a dressage rider. Some of us knew she had BC. When she passed, someone from her local community posted it and we had a wake of sorts. Her husband checked in. I hope it helped him to know that she was respected and thought very much of on COTH.

    There have been others.

    When I die, I am sure someone will post it either on a deworming or an IR thread
    "Kindness is free" ~ Eurofoal
    ---
    The CoTH CYA - please consult w/your veterinarian under any and all circumstances.



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Feb. 5, 2008
    Location
    Bluffs of the Broad River
    Posts
    810

    Default

    I think I know enough people from coth in real life that coth would find out. Coth finding out I wasn't around anymore is not something I have ever considered. Other than my friends (from real life, who I knew before coth [bc]), I am not sure it would be worth noting.

    But interesting to think about, in an odd sort of way.
    There are stars in the Southern sky and if ever you decide you should go there is a taste of time sweetened honey.



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Jun. 1, 2005
    Location
    Floral City , Fl.
    Posts
    4,228

    Default

    I am hoping that at least a few of my friends who I know in real life and on COTH would at least say " oh gosh" if I died. You would know if I did not respond, in my normal way, to any of the breeding stuff regarding the pony stallions or ponies in general. Then, maybe ask where I am.

    Something happened to me on Thurs. I have this wonderful equine dentist that I have had for years. I suddenly noticed we were behind on our dental stuff. I called his number. A young person answered. I asked for him. The young person said "Oh Mike is not with us any longer " Dumb me says "Do you have a number where I can reach him ?". thinking that Mike and his friend broke up. She says "let me have you speak to me mom". Ok, I am thinking, I will get the new number for him. She gets on the phone and tells me that Mike died. I am about falling on the floor. He died of lung cancer. Four weeks from being diagnosed until he died. I have been having him on my mind ever since. I am bummed that no one let me know. So.....................to conclude..........I hope we have a way to let each other know if something happens. Sad, just sad.
    Sandy
    www.sugarbrook.com
    hunter/jumper ponies



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Nov. 25, 2008
    Posts
    84

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Huntertwo View Post
    I guess if there is an Off Topic day and I'm not here to discuss politics, then consider me dead.
    Me Too!!!!



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jun. 6, 2000
    Location
    Amherst, MA
    Posts
    5,315

    Default

    It was JoanneJ (I think). Her horse's name was Cammie (a Swedish Warmblood, I think). Funny I can remember all of that. Actually I think I remember because she died of a complication after a breast cancer surgery, and I had had a less serious lumpectomy the year before, and so her death really affected me.

    Her husband came on (using her screen name) after she died and told everyone. It was incredibly thoughtful, but also quite sad.
    "The formula 'Two and two make five' is not without its attractions." --Dostoevsky



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jan. 7, 2001
    Location
    Usually too far from the barn
    Posts
    8,725

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by eyesontheground View Post
    I think I know enough people from coth in real life that coth would find out. Coth finding out I wasn't around anymore is not something I have ever considered. Other than my friends (from real life, who I knew before coth [bc]), I am not sure it would be worth noting.

    But interesting to think about, in an odd sort of way.
    I am an incredible invisible, so I wonder if anyone would notice my demise... I have some "real life" friends on here who might care. Of course, I prayed and jingled for Dublin, CactusKate and others. I like to think I might at least get a candle.

    BTW, I love your signature, I LOFF that song.
    F O.B
    Resident racing historian ~~~ Re-riders Clique
    Founder of the Mighty Thoroughbred Clique



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Apr. 4, 2006
    Location
    An American Living In Ireland
    Posts
    5,658

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Huntertwo View Post
    My husband who have no clue how to post here, nor even know that I visit here...lol

    I guess if there is an Off Topic day and I'm not here to discuss politics, then consider me dead.
    Same goes for my husband! I told him one day, if I go, just let everyone know I've gone. He was like,What! At any rate, it would end up a post which is on page 2 before the day is through!

    If you don't see me replying to any TB mares in sporthorse breeding program threads, chances are I'm gone!

    Terri
    COTH, keeping popcorn growers in business for years.

    "I need your grace to remind me to find my own." Snow Patrol-Chasing Cars. This line reminds me why I have horses.



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Mar. 10, 2006
    Location
    Albany NY
    Posts
    5,490

    Default

    I have a codicil in my will wherein my attorney, upon my death, will activate a Bulletin Board Death Tree. This Death tree, much like the Phone Tree at my children's school, spreads the word of my death from Bulletin board to Bulletin board. Lets say, for example, I die. Who knew? Well, the 12 year old girls who found me in the middle of the old logging road in the state forest knew, after they dismounted and crouched over my stiff slightly grey body yelling "hey lady!", they knew, spesully when they nudged with their toe and I was stiff and they had to scream and they called their daddys on their own personal cell phone tree, jumped up on their horses, well, the one with the 13 hand pony did, the one with 17 hand OTTB had to find a stump to get back on, crying and calling out to her friend to wait, she had to find a stump, finally coming back to me and using the stump next to my dead head which I probably hit when I fell, which is why I am dead, and there she is, crying and howling for her friend to come back who of course has taken off because it is a DEAD body, and the 17 h OTTB mare is dancing around the stump in a circle, and has kicked me over two feet, which is really going to piss off the CSI when they get there. But I digress.

    This 12 year old is actually part of the Death Tree because she is a member of the local pony club, which is tied into the Death Tree, along with the 4H, the Stony Creek Hounds and Bassetts Hunt and Polo Club, the Draft Pulling and Plowing society and the Headers and Heelers Roping Nights and Men's Chorus Bingo Association (HHRNMCB) The Stony Creek Fife and Drum Corps, and the well known local band, Second Hand Smoke, also members of the Stony Creek Fire Department and At Sea Rescue (SCFDASR) so when she called Deddy, he knows what to do. He calls 911. AND Bruce from HHRNMCB. Don't ask why Daddy and Bruce are Death Tree partners, but both of them know just what to do.

    911 knows I am on the Death Tree, and while the 911 operator keeps the 12 yo on the 17h OTTB on the phone, and, worisomely enought, keeps her from leaving the Dead Body, talking to her all the while, and keeping her talking, which amounts to basically listening to her howls "Oh, my God, oh, my God I think its dead, its a dead body..." all that time murmuring soothing noises, the 911 operator is calling the Death Tree, which is tied into the interwebz. The Interwebz knows me. It goes straight to my IP address, and follows the cookies in my IE cache, and logs onto all my favorite webites automatically, using the passwords saved in my browser password files, and initiates an international web-wide Death Tree announcement:

    URGENT!!

    Another Round is DEAD!!!

    Don't expect to read anymore posts from Another Round. IF you should see a post from Another Round dated after: ________fill the date in here _______ it is a scam!!! If you receive email from Another Round or any of her alters after _____fill the date in here_________ her email had been hacked into and it is a scam.

    DO NOT OPEN ANY FURTHER EMAIL FROM Another Round or ANY OF HER ALTERS!!!!!!!!! IT IS A SCAM!!!!!! Even if it suggests you have received an inheritence from Another Round. If, however, you knew here really really well online, and used to send private messages to her from________insert BB name here_____________ or from ____insert other BB name here____ it might be real, so you can respond to those emails, they might be real messages from her Attorneys and You May Already Be a Winner!!!!.

    Back to the Death Tree. After the funeral, AR's horses will need looking after, and, of course, her BO isn't going to want to do that, so there is a Board Tree which gets activated. This tree consists of all those people who know her and received jingles from her during moments of heatache and strife IRL on the Bulletin boards. These people are meant to contribute up to 100. US dollars each to maintain her horses, which can vary between 1 and 7 in number, you never know, and are payable to the BO who is claiming to maintain them, as reimbursement for feed and farrier visits, BNT training and showing to bring them up in the rankings of their chosen disciplines, such as eventing, and dresssaaaghe. If the BO decides to breed the OTTB mare, these contributions which will come in inperpetura (sic) will also cover the ehr, cover, for her breeding to a majikal friesian or gypsy vanner or espeshully a Draft Percheron stallion so she can fullfill AR's lifelong dreanms and make a majikal Draft X warmblood dressage baby. But I digress.

    The last part of the Death Tree will be to the online BB friends of AR, who will learn of her death whilst nearly instantly recieving notice of the auction of her tack and personal horse items on Ebay. The proceeds from these sales will be contributed to the Horse Rescue of her choice, which is also on the Death Tree, so they will be anticpating the arrival of these funds intheir automatic Paypal account, set up with AR for Death benefits.

    Thanks you and I hope you all have learned a valuable lesson about online Bulletin Board Death Trees.

    AR/No More Rounds fo' you
    Last edited by AnotherRound; Mar. 15, 2009 at 04:10 AM.
    Airborne? Oh. Yes, he can take a joke. Once. After that, the joke's on you.



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Mar. 11, 2004
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    3,296

    Default

    /what a macabre topic, but having written my first will before coming here to East Timor for three weeks, it's something we have to think about.

    Yet, what it reminds of is when I first started visiting horsie BBs in the early 2000s. I can't remember the name of the BB. But there was a poster by the name of Reb's Uncle, or Reb something. He was a real "cowboy", wrote very accurately in "cowboy" lingo, right down to the grammar and spelling (like: no ma'am, I ain't no" whatever"). Knowing that people who speak colloquially usually write more or less property, I ribbed him a bit about probably being a college professor playing with the ladies on the BB. My God, did I get an earful from those ladies about questioning Reb's bona fides!

    Well, then, Reb died. And another character called Reb's Neice or something showed up to tell everyone that Reb died in his chair. This caused a huge outpouring of emotion. Oh no! Poor Reb died! People wanted to send flowers, erect tombstones (the details are a bit vague, it was some time ago). But the Reb's Neice (or whatever) made some factual mistakes and that caused some suspicion that Reb weren't what he said he was. Some member of the BB did some investigating and, indeed, Reb didn't exist. His was a hoax. Of course, no one ever apologized to me about questioning him.

    Ah, the internet.



  20. #20
    Join Date
    May. 31, 2007
    Location
    Aiken, SC
    Posts
    4,696

    Default

    Well damn AR, I thought you were dead. I had no idea we had to send a check

    One COTH member died suddenly about 2 years ago. Her husband managed to figure out how to sign on to COTH and tell everyone--or someone else did and he came on later.

    Tory Relic.

    The outpouring of sympathy and offers of help really did make a difference to her husband. So did the hours he had of reading what she had posted over the years once he was aware of her COTH presence. He read every post. Sometimes we say things on COTH we just do not have time to say IRL.

    I think it was pretty much like death in real life. I felt shock, sadness, pain and was glad we could help her husband with is grief or be there if he needed help with a barn full of horses after her sudden death.

    Clearly it made no difference to the departed that there was a wake on COTH, but it made a huge difference to the loved ones she left behind.

    For others, not so much. They just stop posting and are forgotten. But if I were leaving behind a SO or children I think I'd want them to know about BBs. For their sake, not for mine.

    Some of our best and worst moments are on COTH. To have that extra bonus materiel after your season has been canceled can help a loved one still have a chance to know you better and spend just a few more days with you even if you are suddenly gone.



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