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  1. #1
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    Mar. 10, 2006
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    Default Why O why

    Cant people see when they have bought the WRONG horse, and do the right thing for them and the horse and find a more appropriate one!

    Why, why, why

    Long story short the kid is overmounted!!!!!!!



  2. #2
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    Jul. 11, 2004
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    I know I've sure met a lot more overhorsed than underhorsed riders.

    The parents bought the horse...did they have a trainer go with them or was it a classic, "Wow, he's beautiful and wow, he's beautiful...have I told you how pretty he is?"

    I think riders have a picture of the horse they want to own...whether they're able to ride it or not. I've sure seen a lot of new riders have the wrong horse make riding a terrible ordeal and they ultimately gave up riding once their horse scared the willies out of them.



  3. #3
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    Sep. 8, 2007
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    Ha, sounds like my childhood, except it was our trainer who told us to buy the pony! He would dump me every ride, literally. Trainer somehow brainwashed us into thinking it could still work out for me. I was only about ten years old. After a full year of falling off, everyone had had enough. He was sold to a bigger and better rider. Sometimes people are led astray by someone who claims to be an expert. If the kid's trainer is telling her to sell the pony however, it seems foolish to keep the pony.



  4. #4
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    Quote Originally Posted by dwblover View Post
    Ha, sounds like my childhood, except it was our trainer who told us to buy the pony! He would dump me every ride, literally. Trainer somehow brainwashed us into thinking it could still work out for me. I was only about ten years old. After a full year of falling off, everyone had had enough. He was sold to a bigger and better rider. Sometimes people are led astray by someone who claims to be an expert. If the kid's trainer is telling her to sell the pony however, it seems foolish to keep the pony.
    Thats exactly what happened. Trainer was a moron and though she could train this TB, had no clue as to how! I threw her out of my barn, horse and kid stayed here. They just seem to think that when this untrained mare is naughty she is just having a bad day. I know things are gonna get worse before they get better, if they do get better. I just dont understand why people dont listen to a professional, I have seen this sooooooo many times, it is sooooo irritating



  5. #5
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    Sep. 2, 2005
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    Upstate NY
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    Quote Originally Posted by QuillcoteFarm View Post
    I just dont understand why people dont listen to a professional, I have seen this sooooooo many times, it is sooooo irritating
    They DID listen to a professional. Their previous trainer. You expect them to now just jump and believe a new one?



  6. #6
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    Nov. 22, 2007
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    Port Charlotte, FL
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    Default

    Mom buys girl a horse. Girl falls in love with horse. Horse can't meet girls' goals. Girl sells horse or changes goals or leaves care of horse to mom. Then girl meets boy . . . now it's mom's horse. Boy has a car.



  7. #7
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    May. 10, 2003
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    central CA
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    Default

    I actually see this alot even in grown-ups. Escpescially those who breed there own. Can they just not see or will they not admit that little miss princess (or Mr. Right) didn't live up to their expectations?
    Don't toy with the dragon, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup!



  8. #8
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    Mar. 10, 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by trubandloki View Post
    They DID listen to a professional. Their previous trainer. You expect them to now just jump and believe a new one?
    She was far from a professional, she was a beginner riding instructor, who thinks she knows it all. The first time she got on the horse (the instructor)she fell off and fractured her pelvis. This has been going on for 2 yrs now, so I do NOW expect them to listen to me, this girl has not even cantered this horse and she has owned her for 2 yrs it is time something changes. I also want to note it is not all the horses fault, these people dont have any concept of commitment and /or repitition in order to get this horse trained.

    What this girl needs is a horse that can be ridden 2-3 times a week which is all she has time for, something anyone can hop on and plop around on.



  9. #9
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    Sep. 2, 2005
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    Upstate NY
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    You might get them to listen to you if you start treating them like people. Now maybe you are different WITH them than you are when you write about them. But your posts make it sound like they are just supposed to have a revelation that you are God like and they were wrong before.

    They did not know they other trainer was clueless anymore than they know you are all knowing.

    Show them the right way, let them learn to trust you, and then they will listen.



  10. #10
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    Dec. 19, 2007
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    Camden, DE
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    A lot of the time when I have ran into the issue this is what has happened...

    Non-horse mom/dad decide it's a great idea for their beginner riding son/daughter to have their very own horse/pony. They then go out and buy one because it's pretty or the son/daughter HAD to have it since the kid is young and a beginner they don't know what they are looking for or that they can shop around for a few days, weeks, months etc. And parents just want to make their little super star happy!



  11. #11
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    Jun. 17, 2002
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    USA
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    996

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    Quote Originally Posted by QuillcoteFarm View Post
    Cant people see when they have bought the WRONG horse, and do the right thing for them and the horse and find a more appropriate one!

    Why, why, why

    Long story short the kid is overmounted!!!!!!!
    And you have the right horse?

    I am going to guess many factors have changed in the life of the horse since it was first purchased by this family. Perhaps it is not so much the wrong horse as the wrong help.

    Can you help them?



  12. #12
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    Mar. 10, 2006
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    OK let me say first off I started this thread because I figured I could get some constructive professional critisim, in order to help these people realize that they made a mistake. You have to remember these people have not been around horses long enough to have seen some of the BAD things that go on because the wrong match was made.

    Second I in NO way profess to know everything or be God like. I do however know a LOT about TB's I have trained race horses both on the track and off with much success, I have trained and retrained TB's to be event horses, and hunters. These people know my track record with the TB. The problem is they are blind to the fact that they are flirting with danger, and Iam trying to get that point across w/o offending them in any way. This is NOT a safe situation. But their response is, " but @^^!@ loves her".

    Remember this has been going on for 2 yrs, its not a new situation. The horse has made NO progress with this girl on her, she is at the point now where she wont even go ! We all know what comes next! I have helped in many, many ways, I have no problems when I ride the horse, it is as simple as the girl can not ride the horse!!

    Iam desperatly trying to help them see that something bad is gonna happen at some point, but they just want to remain blind. I have offered to take the horse and find something more suitable for them, but they just dont want that. I suppose I will just have to let it play out! And pray no one gets hurt bad.



  13. #13
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    Mar. 10, 2006
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    Quote Originally Posted by ThoroughbredFancy View Post
    A lot of the time when I have ran into the issue this is what has happened...

    Non-horse mom/dad decide it's a great idea for their beginner riding son/daughter to have their very own horse/pony. They then go out and buy one because it's pretty or the son/daughter HAD to have it since the kid is young and a beginner they don't know what they are looking for or that they can shop around for a few days, weeks, months etc. And parents just want to make their little super star happy!
    thats pretty much waht happened with a side of instructor not having a clue!



  14. #14
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    Apr. 17, 2002
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    between the barn and the pond
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    You as the BO are too close to the situation. I fired lesson peeps over similar dramas- I'd actually offered them an ideal first horse, free lease, buy if you like...then they bought a package deal o' crap on a green horse and a crippled one. nice. Fired them b/c the green horse was completely unsuitable, utterly and totally, and the crippled mare? With no money to find out why and where she hurt? Hurt my heart but I couldn't make that mare magikally sound. My farrier's comment was 'at least they picked on that won't run off with her.' She hurts, a lot. What looks like gentle to a newbie screams chronic pain if you know what that looks like.

    But I could fire them, you can't.

    If they are a hazard to others b/c they can't control the mare, either kick them out or change the rules of how they work/use the mare in company. Dispassionately explain why: their inability to control her has led to some dangerous situations, included (case a and case b). I have to think of everyone's safety. You cannot lunge the mare if others are riding, or you can't ride when others are in a lesson, for example. When they resist, again- dispassionately- ask them how the future is different from the past? What steps are they taking to gain better control over the horse? You can work through this with them and educate, or you can harangue and hate on them.

    Figure out what it is you REALLY want, then act like it. Want her gone? Act like it! Want the mare trained and/or sold on? Act like it! You can be honest and kind- if you'll decide you can be.

    Ask them 'is there anything I could say that would get your child on a more suitable, safe, enjoyable horse?'



  15. #15
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    Quote Originally Posted by katarine View Post
    You as the BO are too close to the situation. I fired lesson peeps over similar dramas- I'd actually offered them an ideal first horse, free lease, buy if you like...then they bought a package deal o' crap on a green horse and a crippled one. nice. But I could fire them, you can't.

    If they are a hazard to others b/c they can't control the mare, either kick them out or change the rules of how they work/use the mare in company. Dispassionately explain why: their inability to control her has led to some dangerous situations, included (case a and case b). I have to think of everyone's safety. You cannot lunge the mare if others are riding, or you can't ride when others are in a lesson, for example. When they resist, again- dispassionately- ask them how the future is different from the past? What steps are they taking to gain better control over the horse? You can work through this with them and educate, or you can harangue and hate on them.

    Figure out what it is you REALLY want, then act like it. Want her gone? Act like it! Want the mare trained and/or sold on? Act like it! You can be honest and kind- if you'll decide you can be.
    Absolutely correct, and thank you for your input. A couple of things though Iam a small facility with 4 boarders, so nobody really bumps into one another, and usually each person has the indoor to themselves. There has been a couple of times they have waited when someone else was in there before they lunged. I teach but only the people here with their own horses, so we are not a "busy" facility by any means.

    I have had many talks with them and I walk away thinking ok I think they get it, but nothing changes. I guess in all this typing I have figured out that they do not see the danger or the big deal that this is and will continue to be. I dont hate them and I dont want them to leave. I suppose I could tell them the horse really needs to go into training for a good 6 months and see where that gets me?? I guess I will have to put my foot down, in a constructive way.

    Thanks katarine



  16. #16
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    Feb. 7, 2009
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    Allenton, MI
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    I wish this wasn't so common. However, I think you are doomed to accept that they have made up their minds and they want to keep the horse. I'm a BO myself and I have asked boarders to leave when I couldn't stand to wait for the "incident" in which the poor child was hurt.

    This is as good as the parents who "want a horse the child can grow up with"....instead of the good, broke to death, been there done that 16 year old gelding.....sigh

    good luck,

    jane



  17. #17
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    Sep. 2, 2005
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    I thought I gave advice already. They have to trust you first. Step one, get them to trust you.


    Do you know that they are frustrated by the progress or do they not care about it?

    If they are frustrated by the progress it is a pretty easy thing to show them that another horse might be a better match for the kid. Find a safe reliable horse for the kid to ride and ask the kid to ride it. Even if you have to tell a little white lie like, 'Dobbin needs some exercise and I was wondering if you wanted to ride him for me'.

    After a few rides the kid will see the difference and you can start planting seeds.



  18. #18
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    Thats the problem they are not frustrated by the situation, like I said in my original post they feel the horse is just having a bad day when things aren't working.

    These are the kind of people that if they didnt trust you there kid would be no where near you. They wont even talk about the situation around the kid! and she's almost 17.

    I entertained the notion last fall about bringing something else in for her to ride while I trained their horse some more but w/o any kind of commitment from them on moving forward on something else, something tells me not to. I guess my gut, that I have learned NOT to ignore. I think next week in her lesson, that she hasnt had since Nov, for one reason or another, Iam just gonna let them know the good the bad and the ugly, and see what happens.

    Thanks again all



  19. #19
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    Apr. 17, 2002
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    Be very clear on what you want.

    Figure out who will do what by when and document it. Specifically.

    Call a meeting with all three, parents and kid.


    It's not about guns blazing. It IS about deciding what you want and actually acting that way, complete with documenting who's going to do what by when, in writing.

    example....If the mare and teen aren't in weekly private lessons with me or trainer a b or c of your choosing by the end of April, they need to find a new barn and be out by the end of June or July, you pick one. If they can't afford such lessons, you will offer them, given by you, at a discounted rate to help them. Lessons will continue until the mare can reliably be ridden at a W/T/C in company. Reinforce the reason: 2 years into the deal this mare isn't reliable at W/T/C. Ask- what do you believe is a reasonable time frame for her to be reliable then, at W/T/C?

    I wish you well, but don't get mad or frustrated. if you want to help, you'd better act like someone who can be trusted to help.



  20. #20
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    Sep. 12, 2008
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    Central NY
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    How about the other side of the problem?

    I had the same horse for 27 years. Once she was gone I started looking for a new horse. I had asked the BO (whose a breeder) if:
    A. Any of their horses would be appropriate for me to buy
    B. I could lease any of their horses permanantly or just while I was looking
    C. I could hire them as consultant to assist me looking

    They declined every effort to work with them, so I was on my own. I bought a younger horse that I could afford. She came with terrible ground manners and zero balance & practical riding experience.

    The BO HATES her, but I just shrug my shoulders. I gave them every opportunity to have some imput on the horse I brought into their barn, or even help them unload one of their "extras" which has become a huge problem in this economy.

    I was very worried I had made a mistake buying a big green horse after so many years with an old docile cob, but I wanted some time off from the problems and meds an elderly horse brings.
    Instead, I traded that for a year & a half of hard work and lots of courage (bucked me off a few times) but she's coming around to being a great horse for me. But it certainly would have been an easier transition with some professional advice.



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