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  1. #21
    Join Date
    Jan. 25, 2000
    Location
    Stratford ON/Wellington Fl
    Posts
    328

    Red face

    Thanks everyone;
    You know it's wierd this cancer sh*t; I ride and show AQHA (Hunt Seat and Western) and come from a Hunter/Jumper and Pony Club background; so I ALWAYS ride with a helmet (even Western). However, in order to show Western, I want to wear a 'proper hat' so had ordered the new Troxel Western hat helmet (it's not in yet), but now I think I am going to cancel my order and just ride with a cowboy hat when I show. I just dont' seem to be scared of falling off any more. I'm thinking I'd much rather 'go out' with a head injury falling off my horse in the show ring than from farking cancer. :\
    How wierd is that? Am I going mental or what?
    You'd think I'd know better.

    AQHA Clique, Pony Club Clique and Member/Co-founder of the Boot to the Head Clique! (Members NOT wanted)



  2. #22
    Join Date
    May. 3, 2006
    Posts
    11,568

    Default

    Another one here.

    I was diagnosed with leukaemia 13 years ago and had everything blasted at me and including a bone marrow transplant. I had over 4 years with no immune system at all and a couple of years with no blood clotting factor. You name it I had it! I'm delighted to say that I defied the odds and predictions and I'm the world's longest survivor who had a MUD transplant (Matched Unrelated Donor)

    Hang in there. Take each day as it comes. My philosophy was I didn't mind having cancer but I was damned if it was having me!


    oh..... and wear your hat you fool! You'd be pretty P*d if they cure your cancer and you die of a head injury

    When I was first diagnosed was at the time when there were all the scares about BSE in cattle (mad cow disease). Now I have cattle and I worked in the animal feed industry. I remember saying to my wife something along the lines of "what if I get BSE" to which she replied "don't be selfish you've already got one terminal disease!" Made me laugh anyway!



  3. #23
    Join Date
    Dec. 11, 2006
    Location
    Cheesehead in Loudoun Co, VA
    Posts
    2,540

    Default

    I don't think it's weird at all. I have the exact same feeling.

    My helmet doesn't fit over my head scarf, nor does it fit without my hair.

    After what I've been through? Frankly, my dear, I no longer give a damn. I fully intend to go out in a blaze of glory or doing something I love--or both. I will NOT be taken down by my own body. My only son, on the other end of the lead rope in that photo, supports me, as well he should: he's a snowboarder!

    I had a clean CT scan a couple weeks ago and finally got my "get out of jail free card" today. I am returning to work on Monday!!

    I spent the weekend with my horses. I groomed the mud off and clipped their +6" long mohawks from their bridle paths. I haven't yet ridden Bailey, but intend to do so when the wind dies down. It's not worth trying to work Bug until closer to spring when I can do it regularly & get her driving again, so all she gets are beauty sessions to remove the huge knots in her long mane.

    OH!!!! Guess what I found out??! If you are having problems with your hair coming back after chemo or even if you just want it to grow faster & thicker, use EQyss MegaTek Rebuilder! It's safe for human use & really does work. It also strengthens fingernails.

    However, if you have an issue with using an equine product on your own head, you can use Ovation Cell Repair for $56 for a 12 oz bottle. From the mouths of the company, IT'S THE EXACT SAME FORMULA!

    I've been using MTR for several days. I already feel a tingling which I've come to associate with increased hair production. I'm looking forward to doubling the growth rate of my hair, up to an inch per month, as well as the thickness.

    I've been looking for products to help my poor, ugly hair and here it was in my barn all along
    I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right
    Violence doesn't end violence. It extends it. Break the cycle.



  4. #24
    Join Date
    Nov. 23, 1999
    Location
    South Coast Plaza
    Posts
    20,491

    Default

    Prayers all around and may everyone have a 2009 filled with GOOD NEWS ONLY!!!
    EDDIE WOULD GO



  5. #25
    Join Date
    Aug. 15, 2008
    Posts
    4,589

    Default

    You have a PM.

    Stay strong! You can get through this!



  6. #26
    Join Date
    May. 3, 2006
    Posts
    11,568

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by HighFlyinBey+ View Post
    I don't think it's weird at all. I have the exact same feeling.

    After what I've been through? Frankly, my dear, I no longer give a damn.
    I'm a bit like that in that I won't put up with crap and nonsense and "stuff". I do however absolutely appreciate life.... always did though.... and I thoroughly intend to carry on living it to the full.

    When I was first diagnosed my consultant said something which only with hind sight could I say was significant and true.

    It was when he told me that he was prepared to "risk" a MUD transplant if I was. Bear in mind at that time only another 3 in my circumstances that had been done over the age of 45 and all had died within 3 months.

    He said "In my experience there's 3 sorts of people in life:

    Those who want to die. They can't cope with cancer and from diagnosis they want to give up and die and no matter what treatment they have, they do.

    There's those who don't want to die." At this point I thought "oh sh** that's me"

    He went on and said "They often get bitter and angry and it rules everything they do every minute of every day and they focus on it all the time. They normally die"

    Then he said "Then there's the 3rd sort. They want to live. They've a lot in their lives. They've no time for illness and can't be doing with it. They're surrounded by positive people also with a lot to do. They're the ones with good luck and medical science who tend to make it"

    I definitely recognised myself in the last description. From the day I was diagnosed, though I passed through "angry and bitter" and went there for for brief moments, the majority of my time was planning what I needed to do and how I was going to do it and normally nothing to do with being ill. Of course I read up everything possible about my disease and was very lucky in having a couple of great friends who were consultants: one an oncologist and one a haematologist who found me anything and everything. I also learnt what I needed to do to look after me and to make my contribution to treatment and recovery and oh boy did I do it! When I thought of my illness I tried so hard to think about getting better.

    Yes it's tough especially when it goes on for years and I sincerely hope the OP's cancer isn't going to be like that, but you do get through it if you're determined and too stubborn to die and too busy thinking about living.

    I fully intend to go out in a blaze of glory or doing something I love--or both. I will NOT be taken down by my own body.
    I'm planning dying in bed at about aged 97 with my family around me and a half glass of single malt in my hand.

    I had a clean CT scan a couple weeks ago and finally got my "get out of jail free card" today. I am returning to work on Monday!!
    Well done you.

    Take it easy though and try to have some "me time". If not right now a little later when you've settled back into a regular pattern of everyday normal living again. You've been through a hell of a lot. I've read about your turmoils and treatment and you've really been through it. I recognise a fighter and a coper.

    I spent the weekend with my horses. I groomed the mud off and clipped their +6" long mohawks from their bridle paths.
    My first day out of hospital I got Sue to drive me to my stud farm where all my horses were. I had no immune system, weighed 96lbs and was high as a kite on morphine and a cocktail of anti-rejection drugs. I have some photos of that day with my favourite mare and the foal she had when I was in hospital. I really don't like looking at them though as I find it difficult to imagine I was ever that bad. Part of the coping mechanism - and the reason why women have more than one baby! - is in time you genuinely forget how bad it was.

    OH!!!! Guess what I found out??! If you are having problems with your hair coming back after chemo or even if you just want it to grow faster & thicker, use EQyss MegaTek Rebuilder!
    I'm wondering if that works if you start out bald as a coot???

    I lost all my body hair though - no eyelashes, no nothing!! Then it all grew back with a vengeance (except my head) as a side effect of anti-rejection drugs and I then looked like a bald monkey!!!



  7. #27
    Join Date
    Dec. 11, 2006
    Location
    Cheesehead in Loudoun Co, VA
    Posts
    2,540

    Default

    You're good people, Thomas.

    I thoroughly intend to carry on living it to the full.
    I resolve to not be afraid anymore. I'm not going to be afraid to walk the pedestrian bridge across the Potomac just because it's a bazillion feet above the rocks. I'm not going to be afraid to see movies or go out to eat alone. I'm not going to live in fear that my trusted horse will turn on me. I could fall down my 3 flights of stairs or get hit by a FedEx truck as I exit my building. If it happens, it happens. I'm not going to turn into a careless daredevil, but I'm not going to be afraid anymore.

    Then he said "Then there's the 3rd sort. They want to live. They've a lot in their lives. They've no time for illness and can't be doing with it. They're surrounded by positive people also with a lot to do. They're the ones with good luck and medical science who tend to make it"
    I'm going to peg myself in this category, with like yourself, the occasional foray into anger. I like to think my anger has been focused on the cancer and helping to beat it. I'm not angry at my circumstances. Sh*t happens. I deal with it and I move on (tho the moving on part can take a while).

    I'm planning dying in bed at about aged 97 with my family around me and a half glass of single malt in my hand.
    I plan on being 94 and dropping dead of natural causes in the barn. I like the idea of an adult beverage being in-hand My ashes are to be spread in the pasture & feh on the DNR.

    Take it easy though and try to have some "me time". If not right now a little later when you've settled back into a regular pattern of everyday normal living again. You've been through a hell of a lot.
    I've been taking it easy for months & I'm sick of it! All I've done all day is surf the internet & clean house. My job is all computer-related, so I won't be stressing at all. In fact, when I stopped in with my paperwork, I was able to solve a problem one of the techs was having. It made me feel so good that I hadn't forgotten that part!

    My first day out of hospital I got Sue to drive me to my stud farm where all my horses were. I had no immune system, weighed 96lbs and was high as a kite on morphine and a cocktail of anti-rejection drugs. I have some photos of that day with my favourite mare and the foal she had when I was in hospital. I really don't like looking at them though as I find it difficult to imagine I was ever that bad. Part of the coping mechanism - and the reason why women have more than one baby! - is in time you genuinely forget how bad it was.
    That's awesome!! A true horseman insists on seeing his horses first. The photo I posted was a week after the radiation burns healed. I refused to have other pictures taken. I want no memories of how sick I was. Gotta tell ya though, 19 years later, I still vividly remember giving birth ONCE. That was enough

    I lost all my body hair though - no eyelashes, no nothing!! Then it all grew back with a vengeance (except my head) as a side effect of anti-rejection drugs and I then looked like a bald monkey!!!
    Honestly, the loss of hair was the worst for me. Worse than the dehumanizing procedures. I kept my leg, arm & chin hair & some fuzz on my head. I was very worried about permanent loss in my treatment zone, but that's coming back with a vengeance. Whew. It's only my head & identity hair that's still taunting me.

    I've read about your turmoils and treatment and you've really been through it. I recognise a fighter and a coper.
    Thanks It really helped me to write down what I was going through. The support I got in return? I can never repay what that meant to me. I intend to pass on that support to others, like the OP.

    Oops, didn't mean for that to get so long
    I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right
    Violence doesn't end violence. It extends it. Break the cycle.



  8. #28
    Join Date
    Mar. 17, 2006
    Posts
    601

    Default

    Does anyone here ride with a colostomy? I may be facing one due to recurring noncancerous tumors.



  9. #29
    Join Date
    Dec. 11, 2006
    Location
    Cheesehead in Loudoun Co, VA
    Posts
    2,540

    Default

    I know of a teenager in Wisconsin that has one. She rides & shows & no one suspects a thing.
    I'm not arguing, I'm just explaining why I'm right
    Violence doesn't end violence. It extends it. Break the cycle.



  10. #30
    Join Date
    Dec. 12, 2003
    Posts
    633

    Default

    From Thomas_1 He said "In my experience there's 3 sorts of people in life:

    Those who want to die. They can't cope with cancer and from diagnosis they want to give up and die and no matter what treatment they have, they do.

    There's those who don't want to die." At this point I thought "oh sh** that's me"

    He went on and said "They often get bitter and angry and it rules everything they do every minute of every day and they focus on it all the time. They normally die"

    Then he said "Then there's the 3rd sort. They want to live. They've a lot in their lives. They've no time for illness and can't be doing with it. They're surrounded by positive people also with a lot to do. They're the ones with good luck and medical science who tend to make it"

    This is very interesting to me, and I really appreciate that you posted it. I was over-radiated the first time I was sick, and therefore, could not do the 'gold standard' Hodgkin's protocol the second time I was sick. Because of the over radiation, I have been wrestling with the odd skin cancer spot. I am not a 'why me?' person, and have always approached this from the perspective of "ok...what am I to learn from all of this?"

    My favorite story was from Guidepost years ago. A woman named Hannah has all sorts of trials and tribulations. Someone said to her "Hannah, you know the Lord never gives you more than you can bear. Her response was "Yes, I know, but why does He have to have such a high opinion of me?"

    That story has always helped me...maybe it will help someone else. fg



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