Again, I am so sorry for your pain. I know the pain of losing a horse tragically and it's terrible. I lost mine in a barn fire and it took me a long time. I still get choked up and have a hard time with it. You can heal. Just take care of yourself, and know that you're not alone.
<SNIP> What actually happeded was that when she fell, the hyoid bone was broken in her head, which severed the carotid artery and drove into the brain stem. Unfortunately it was not enough to kill her instantly. It was truly the most horrible experience of my life.<SNIP>
Thanks for posting, Frogs Leap..... I have wondered for - let's see, son is 25 now - 21 years what happened to that superb weanling colt I lost in almost exactly that way - two weeks post-weaning, doing well, still his same happy, lovable easy self, that my four year old son could pick feet on....
Then he decided he was a Big Strong Horse Colt and didn't HAVE to lead when I went to move him from one pasture to another... he set back on the lead rope, reared, slipped on his hinds and went down flat on his back in the deep soft silt of the dry creekbed that ran through that little pen....
I heard a big dull pop, like a water balloon breaking, and he was down and dying. Blood from his nose and mouth, terrible moaning pain, hurt and confused - and gone in under 45 seconds.
I had leased the colt's dam from a veterinarian - when I called him and described the event, he told me it was very likely an aneurism of the aorta - and that it was better to have lost him young, than as an older colt with someone on his back. I wonder now (no postmortem performed) if it was not what you are describing, though....
Hugs to all who have lost one so unexpectedly. It never gets any easier.
Gosh, these are such sad stories. They are tradgic.
Hugs to the OP. That would be something I would never forget. I would imagine you are questioning yourself and if there was something you could have done better. No, it sounds like there was nothing else you could have done.
I am on the school of thought that there was something really wrong with the mare. Honestly, she probably didn't really even know what was going in the moments before she flipped. She may have hit the ground dead. Dogs that are euthanized often seem to take one final breath or twitch. It's the muscles, not the dog's conscious thought making that movement.
Apparently I was just reading her wrong. I was reading her temper tantrums as defiance, but looking back I think it was something very different all together.
Oh FK I had no idea!!! I'm so sorry. That should never happen to anyone! My trainers old saintly (that's an understatement) pony, Norman, died Sunday Nov 23rd. Thing is, he was ancient and lived a great life. He was vibrant in the morning, passing by evening, and gone before Monday AM I'm still horribly sad and it feels so weird at the barn as he roamed at will and was always right there...looking for treats I wasn't there, I didn't see anything, but I can't stop thinking about him and about the farm not having him I can't even imagine what you went through
Don't blame yourself. I'm willing to bet the quote above is one of the reasons you are still feeling so intensely about this. I feel that way about my Cinder kitty. It's been about 4 years (almost 5 actually) since she died but I still think I should've or could've done something I didn't do but the fact is, I couldn't. She was sick. It wasn't all that sudden but it was sudden enough for me. I've just tried to remember that animals die, usually long before we do. I've determined the reason for this is their purpose in our lives. I think they are here to teach us something and once they've done their job, it's time for them to pass the torch to the next. Makes it hard on our hearts but the end result makes us better people. We learn patience, confidence, self limits, selflessness, humility, and other countless things....things we can't really even thank them for in words-just acts of kindness.
You showed this litlle mare kindness. You gave her chances. You gave her the opportunity to work it out herself. She either chose or was forced to choose to stay on her path of self destruction. She didn't hurt you physically but she very easily could have. And maybe that plays a part in what you are feeling too (you didn't get hurt but she did) - who knows. I know you though and I know you didn't hurt her on purpose so please make sure whatever sadness you feel is coming from the place we all feel sadness from when we lose an animal friend and not one coming from guilt.
The bonus about animals passing is they all cross the bridge--good, bad, sane, or not. So send a thought across the bridge and let her know you are sorry your relationship ended the way it did but you hope she's running free and happy without any more pain or confusion the way she deserves
Now go give Miss Bailey a hug and kiss from me and a carrot from Logan for X-Mas