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  1. #41
    Join Date
    Jul. 5, 2002
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    http://www.town-and-country.org/
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    3,000

    Default on the way out

    give your good friends there a copy of your letter to the BM and their 30 day notice response.
    they can figure it out themselves.

    still glad our horses are at home.
    more hay, less grain



  2. #42
    Join Date
    Feb. 6, 2003
    Location
    Deep South
    Posts
    14,667

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by arabhorse2 View Post
    Why the dramatic post, OP?
    She's pi--ed off! Rightly so.



  3. #43
    Join Date
    May. 9, 2008
    Location
    Johannesburg
    Posts
    518

    Default

    I'm from the "it's too small a world" school of boarding.


    Give notice, grin and bear it for the next month and then move on. Do not discuss your situation with anybody (not even your fellow boarders), do not bitch about the set-up, do not say a bad word?

    Why? Because life is too short and the world is too small.



  4. #44
    Join Date
    Feb. 8, 2004
    Location
    Rolling hills of Virginny
    Posts
    5,954

    Default

    I understand that she's peeved, Equibrit. But snarking about it does what? Except to give a heads up to the current BOs that she's hurling accusations about them on a very public BB.

    COTH isn't truly anonymous, and I think she's given enough information here that someone should be able to recognize the barn.

    I'm just advising caution. I'd be skeeved off too, but I'd direct my energy to looking for another barn, not ranting and coming off like some snobby DQ. The e-mail she sent them didn't exactly put her in a flattering light.
    The plural of anecdote is not data.



  5. #45
    Join Date
    Jan. 6, 2003
    Location
    CT
    Posts
    3,446

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by arabhorse2 View Post
    Why the dramatic post, OP?

    You were paying for a service, the providing of that service changed to someone else, and the care your horse was receiving dropped to levels you found unacceptable.

    In a case like that, you quietly find another barn and move your horse.

    There's really no need to go on frothing rampage about how ignorant and clueless the current providers are. It could very well come back to bite you in the tuckus, since the horse world really is very small.

    If I were a care provider, I'd be very skeptical about letting you in my barn. You might be a stellar boarder, but from your posts you sound like DQ PITA for whom nothing will ever be good enough.

    That might not be the case, but that's certainly how you're coming across here. JMHO.

    I disagree. I don't see the OP as being a 'frothing rampage', just frustrated. Probably because she likes the facility otherwise and the new BM's are making staying impossible now.

    Arguments about level of care/ hay vs. grass/ t/o, etc. aside... what type of brainiac can't see a horse losing weight over the course of 6 months? If my BM/ BO were that clueless, I'd be peeved and soonafter, GONE. Above and beyond all the other argments here, a good BM acts as your horsecare supervisor, for lack of a better term. Yeah, it's ultimately up to me as a horse owner to keep on top of worming, shoeing, nutrition, etc. But I fully expect my BM to be able to have eyes and use them. Certainly if a horse is losing weight over 6 months or LESS, they should see it and bring it to MY attention (and I, as an horse owner, should be shot for not noticing it first). At that point, the BM should have suggestions on how to solve the issue.

    THAT would have been the point for the OP to initiate a conversation about the old BM's level of care and the new. I sense the OP has been trying to diplomatically inform the new BM's where things are lacking, or at least differ frm the old. New BM just doesnt' want to hear it because like most new to the boarding business, they thought they'd be making money. And I'm sure it came as a shock that the OP's full board payment barely left a profit (!) for the current care they were providing. Now that she's complaining, OMG! They'll just break even!

    Being both BM and boarder, I can see both sides here. But in this case, I see the OP's point as having the most validity.

    Good luck finding a new place.



  6. #46
    Join Date
    Jul. 13, 2008
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    476

    Default

    I was in a similar position recently and asked for advice on here much like you are doing. I would consider my situation a lesson learned and I am actually grateful for what happened.

    My horse started out as a malnourished skinny little thing and after 2 months of daily care and feeding by me ( I was out of a job), she was packing on the weight.I monitored her every move, but She looked great! It wasnt until I started back at a work that I started noticing she was spending more and more time on turnout...more being 24/7 when part of the agreement wa that the horse would be inside during the day in the warmer months, etc., was covered in bite marks and cuts, most likely from the older more aggressive horses she was pastured with, and she had stopped gaining weight and began losing weight and looked "wormy". No matter how much I asked her to be fed or how often, even switching her grain and worming her with a powerpac did nothing.

    So I started measuring the grain bin and leaving things in places where I knew that if the BO was going to use them, they would be moved when I came to check on my horse. After 3 days, everything was the same as I had left it. I started getting concerned. My horse wasnt getting grain or hay. I had 150lbs of grain just sitting in the barn, not to mention her supplements. If the horse didnt need the grain I wouldnt have bought it and used the money on something else for her!

    Then I notice my tack was disappearing and being used or given to other boarders, and my grooming tools where skattered around the barn. I dont mind sharing but I was on limited budget and I couldnt finance the entire barns every whim.

    Needless to say the BO became upset with me after reading my post on COTH and asked me to leave, which happend on the same day that I had planned to had over my "just to be nice" notice that I was leaving..enough time to give them to find a new boarder to cover my spot. I didnt even stick the 2 weeks out that I had left on that months board. I showed up at the barn with truck and trailer, loaded my horse and things, and left without a word. I left behind some things that were "missing" when I went searching for them that day but the effort wasted on finding them was time I could spend at the new barn with my horse.

    I fault myself for having waited so long (a period of 2 months) watching my horse get skinnier, to call the BO out on what I thought was going wrong, and was able to prove. If I had acted on what I thought was going on and had said that my horse deserves better and is goin to get better, then I wouldnt have waited so long.

    Best advice...dont make a big deal about it. If you feel the need to do something, write a letter to the property owner and explain to her how the level of care that you two had agreed upon in the contract prior to her leasing the barn to the new family, had gone down hill. Be polite about it, thank her for accepting you as a boarder, explain that you have been asked to leave and that you are going willingly, and encourage her to speak with the leasing family on behalf of her prior contracts so that this situation doesnt happen again.
    Burning bridges my not be at the front of your thoughts, but word gets around in the horse world like wildfire. Take it from me, I was actually declined by another boarding barn because of the situation that arose from my last board agreement, which was no fault of my own...I cant seem to find another horse to lease for lessons either because I've been "blacklisted" as a rider to the local barns in the area. Be careful of what you say on this forum about another person, anyone can read it, and it just might be the person you least likely want reading it. You wouldnt want a repeat of the CCTL on your hands....especially because you advertised your horse as an FEI dressage horse, your name must be out there in the local show world, maybe even the national show world. The more you tell other people about your situation and badmouth another "horseperson" regardless of whether you think they "know jack about anything"....the more trouble you are asking for. Just be careful.

    My horse may not be FEI level or a top dollar breeding mare, but she is my pride and joy. It's like having a child...I'm thankful for the situation because she's happy now, and most importantly she's healthy and I dont have to worry about her not being fed and I know she's receiving the care she deserves.

    Be greatful that you caught on before it got too bad. Good luck at your new barn.
    Crayola Posse~Aquamarine
    Love vs Money...for the love of my horse, I have no money!



  7. #47
    Join Date
    Nov. 20, 2005
    Location
    missoula. mt
    Posts
    1,582

    Default

    I've been there, too many times- in boarding barns with ignoramus BOs and BMs. Sounds like they did you and your horse a huge favor.



  8. #48
    Join Date
    Mar. 8, 2006
    Location
    Southeast Pennsylvania
    Posts
    2,628

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by tidy rabbit View Post
    Oh absolutely you should, and you ought to post your show record for the past 3 year and include an 8x10 glossy headshot.

    Just remember, 95% of the peeps on this board DO ACTUALLY KNOW EVERYTHING.
    OH, that's fabulous Tidy rabbit!!! Good one!



  9. #49
    Join Date
    Sep. 2, 2005
    Location
    Upstate NY
    Posts
    12,004

    Default

    To me the OP sounds like she is mad that the owners asked her to leave. Which I find very interesting since I would assume she would want to leave in this situation since the BM is not living up to her expectations.

    Sansena, I can see what you are saying but reading the OPs posts I have to disagree that she sounds like she has tried to be diplomatic, etc. If she talks to the BM any where near how she posts I am highly doubting she was at all diplomatic.


    Full care means very different things to very different people. And though the OP keeps saying "it is in my contract", the one place where she quoted the contract does not say what she is insisting it says. Yes, it can be interpreted as feed the horse hay and grain in their stall 2xs per day, etc. but it does not actually say that. The BM may read it differently than the OP does and is tired of the OP acting like a high maintenance DQ.


    I do hope the OP finds a new place to board that is acceptable to her and her horse. There is for sure no reason to stay at a barn where you are miserable.



  10. #50
    Join Date
    Mar. 19, 2007
    Location
    Sometimes in KY
    Posts
    247

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by trubandloki View Post
    . The BM may read it differently than the OP does and is tired of the OP acting like a high maintenance DQ.


    I do hope the OP finds a new place to board that is acceptable to her and her horse. There is for sure no reason to stay at a barn where you are miserable.
    You know trubandloki, your posts are very passive agressive. You say one that is really quite witchy and then you follow it up with something nice to make up for it. Seems to be trend with your posts on this and other threads. Why not pick a side and stick to it? If you're going to be a witch, commit to it.



  11. #51
    Join Date
    Feb. 8, 2004
    Location
    Rolling hills of Virginny
    Posts
    5,954

    Default

    The whole thing is a trifle ludicrous.

    She's not happy with the care the new BOs are giving, but livid that they made a move to get her out before she could tell them she was leaving. Sounds like someone's ego has been a tad bruised.

    She's not happy, the horse is losing weight, and the care has apparently gone down the toilet. So why is she angry that after she and they had a disagreement, that they've told her she's not a good fit for their barn?
    The plural of anecdote is not data.



  12. #52
    Join Date
    Oct. 2, 1999
    Location
    Mendocino County, CA: Turkey Vulture HQ
    Posts
    14,445

    Default

    As far as year old hay goes... since hay is only harvested once a year in many places, year old hay is par for the course.

    Thomas_1 is feeding native ponies. I don't know what the OP's horse is, but it may need more intense feeding.

    You aren't happy, but I agree that drama will probably only hurt you in the long run. Say "so long and thanks for all the fish" and move along to the new place, which will hopefully work out better.

    It sucks when a boarding place doesn't work out. At least they gave you 30 days, and it sounds like you were able to find something new.
    If you are allergic to a thing, it is best not to put that thing in your mouth, particularly if the thing is cats. - Lemony Snicket



  13. #53
    Join Date
    Sep. 2, 2005
    Location
    Upstate NY
    Posts
    12,004

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    Quote Originally Posted by KC and the Sunshine Band View Post
    You know trubandloki, your posts are very passive agressive. You say one that is really quite witchy and then you follow it up with something nice to make up for it. Seems to be trend with your posts on this and other threads. Why not pick a side and stick to it? If you're going to be a witch, commit to it.
    KC, it might be hard for you to believe, but I can find the OPs original topic coming off as her sounding like a drama queen and still want the best for her and her horse. Just because I am not sympathetic to her being pissed she was kicked out does not mean I want ill for her and for sure never for anybodies horse.



  14. #54
    Join Date
    Jan. 16, 2002
    Location
    West Coast of Michigan
    Posts
    36,321

    Default

    This thread just reinforces the fact that NOBODY can take care of our horses as well as we ourselves can. Even if we don't know as much as the next person, we want things done OUR WAY, which is perfectly reasonable. If we can find a place where things are done our way, we're happy. However, in defense of BOs, it's pretty hard to do things EVERYONE'S way.

    I'd have been having a discussion with the BO the moment I noticed my horse was losing weight, in person, and would've wanted to review the feeding program right away, down to the last detail. A lot of this probably could've been sorted out by face-to-face conversation, rather than waiting until things were bad and firing off angry emails. (maybe I read the OP incorrectly, though) If things weren't meeting my horses' needs, I would've been gone.

    And for the record, I've still got a few bales of hay from 2006 that are quite wonderful--not dusty, still green and bright and smells wonderful and the horses fight over it.
    Click here before you buy.



  15. #55
    Join Date
    May. 5, 2000
    Location
    Aiken, SC
    Posts
    2,371

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by drsg4me View Post
    In this instance...my horse was in full care board. Which was supposed to include a stall (for up to in during the day out at night or V/V depending on the time of year) hay and grain year round, and they are to feed my horse 2x a day, clean his stall etc. Believe me- this was all broke down in the contract and I was paying a premium price for this service that was suposed to be added piece of mind for me when I couldn't be at the barn.

    To help put this in context for me; Just what are you paying for "full board"?



  16. #56
    Join Date
    Feb. 27, 2008
    Posts
    74

    Default

    Wow...I have been a lurker on this board for years, however I have never come out of lurking....until now. I think this is a strong reminder of why, and I just might go back into lurkerdom. It amazes me how much everyone on this board really does KNOW EVERYTHING!!! I'm amazed how much you make assumptions about things without knowing all the details. I'm sorry that I came to a place with fellow horse people to seek support over the situation because I have never been in a situation with my horses that I have dealt with people like this. I have been very fortunate that the barns I have been at have always provided quality care to their horses.

    Am I dramatic...no. I don't think asking that my horse be fed the hay and grain that they choose to feed on the farm 2x a day is too much to ask given the price that I am paying (and yes- it is listed that it will be fed 2x a day hay and grain in my contract btw) I can assure you that I am as far from a DQ as there comes, and please forgive me if I am upset over the care of my horse at this point. I think that you would be equally upset if you found out something like this.

    Am I mad that I was asked to leave the barn? Not at all. It was a decision that I have been toying with for a while now. What I am mad about is the care that my horse recieved (or rather lack there of) and the lack of concern that the bm took. I'm mad that someone else felt that it was their decision to make changes to my horses routine without my consent. I am mad that my horse could have become ill over this situation in addition to losing wt.

    How would you feel if you dropped your child off at daycare, had agreed upon a certain level of care, locked into a contract, and was paying for these services then you find out as time goes on that while your child was at this daycare they were only feeding it fruits. No meats or vegetables, because they felt that was enough and fruits are the cheapest foods to buy? I'd imagine you would be just as upset and "dramatic" as I am being.

    Considering that my location is not listed anywhere in my profile I think that you will have a very hard time locating where I am, and what barn this is. Good luck to you. I have not listed any names or specifics and as to my leaving the barn. I expressed my concerns. I gave an alternative (I will provide the hay and grain for my horse at my cost) that was not well recieved. An agreement could not be met. This all happened last night. My horse is leaving today at 4 pm. Thats it. There was nothing else that transpired. I appologized that a resoloution could not be met as overall it is a nice facility with nice boarders. That being said, my things are packed and my horse will be out of there in 5 hours and counting.

    Arabhorse- Ever heard the saying "if you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all?" I came here for advice from people who have been in my situation in the past. I did not come here to be attacked, which is clearly all that you have provided to this post.

    Empressive Award- Thank you for your post. I am very sorry that you were in that situation and I'm glad that you have found a better situation for your mare!!



  17. #57
    Join Date
    Feb. 27, 2008
    Posts
    74

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    To help to put this into context for you I am paying 625/month. Full board at other facilities in this area is 400-450. However this farm has a covered arena.



  18. #58
    Join Date
    Nov. 1, 2005
    Location
    The Prairie
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    5,448

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    Quote Originally Posted by arabhorse2 View Post
    The whole thing is a trifle ludicrous.

    She's not happy with the care the new BOs are giving, but livid that they made a move to get her out before she could tell them she was leaving. Sounds like someone's ego has been a tad bruised.

    She's not happy, the horse is losing weight, and the care has apparently gone down the toilet. So why is she angry that after she and they had a disagreement, that they've told her she's not a good fit for their barn?
    It's a bit like when you plan to break up with someone but they beat you to the punch. It stings a bit more that way, but in the end, you are still better off without them.

    If one is paying "full care", especially in an area where that is interpreted to mean "what they need" (which is my impression of what OP is talking about), then that includes hay in the summer if they are not maintaining weight on pasture alone. Does the horse come in at night? Surely it should get some hay then? Unless it is an air fern.

    Is the horse having a hard time with the bugs? Then it needs to come in during the day.

    These are not difficult management issues. If the management can't SEE these for themselves then the parting gift of Horses for Dummies is an appropriate one.

    Thomas 1 is clearly not familiar with the slang expression "fat and happy". It is N. American slang (in some circles) for "all is well" (And, yes, that does also feed into our frequent "why are N. Americans so big" discussions...but I won't go there)

    There is an even better expression, "fat, dumb and happy". I first heard a law professor use it as in...take care of these things and your client is fat, dumb and happy. I was a bit dumbfounded the first time I heard it...it seemed to me two thirds of those things were not so good...

    Thomas1 also is fortunate enough to live somewhere where "pasture" means something entirely different than what passes for "pasture" in a lot of N. America. Apples and oranges, I am afraid, unless a lot of time and effort is being put into the pasture. Which clearly was not happening at OP's boarding barn.

    OP just smile sweetly, let it go, move and keep your ears open for other good barns as your fellow boarders will no doubt be calling you for recommendations for other barns.
    I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food.



  19. #59
    Join Date
    Dec. 12, 2005
    Location
    NY
    Posts
    566

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    As I understand this, OP agreed to a certain level of care and while all seemed to go well at first, when management changed, so did the care...

    Take the high road here.....You have a place to move to, so gather your marbles and play on a new field...It is a short-lived satisfaction to thumb your nose at the situation and say things that may come back to bite you...

    Time will take care of this new management's style of doing things and the other boarders will soon figure it out for themselves and will want to move on as well I would imagine....A cordial note to the BO worded diplomatically will let her know that it was not the facilities, but the change in care that was behind your departure.

    You are upset with the situation and the fact that what you agreed to is not what is happening with your horse and I think most of us here understand your gripe....

    Good luck to you....
    Crayola Posse: Mulberry



  20. #60
    Join Date
    Feb. 27, 2008
    Posts
    74

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    Quote Originally Posted by deltawave View Post
    I'd have been having a discussion with the BO the moment I noticed my horse was losing weight, in person, and would've wanted to review the feeding program right away, down to the last detail. A lot of this probably could've been sorted out by face-to-face conversation, rather than waiting until things were bad and firing off angry emails. (maybe I read the OP incorrectly, though) If things weren't meeting my horses' needs, I would've been gone.

    And for the record, I've still got a few bales of hay from 2006 that are quite wonderful--not dusty, still green and bright and smells wonderful and the horses fight over it.
    We sat down and had this conversation in May when my horse was starting to loose wt. We agreed at that time to make sure my horse was eating at least 3-4 flakes of hay at each feeding. It was agreed up by both parties, with no concerns expressed about this. And I thought this was the end of that discussion. We also left it open that we might have to make additional changes to his feeding routine if he does not start to pick up weight but that we would discuss that at a later time.

    So the last I'd heard my horse was eating 3-4 flakes of hay 2x a day. They made the descision some where in there on their own to stop it all together without letting me know.

    I only found out that he was not eating any hay at all when I contacted them to discuss additional changes that we may need to make because he is still loosing wt. Only to find out he wasn't getting any hay at all. Which is precisley why he is leaving today.

    I too have seen hay on occasion that is good years later....I can promise you if you saw this hay you would not feed it. It is one of those things that has to be determined on a case by case basis, some hay keeps better than others. Just my experience in the past.

    Hope that clarifies things a little bit!



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