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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct. 17, 2005
    Location
    IN
    Posts
    583

    Default Funny, mean, or combination...quotes/sayings

    You know how colorful our wonderful top riders and trainers can be?!?! Well, I need the best quotes/saying/stories that have happened during clinics, lessons, shows, working student/assistant stories and so on that are dramatic.

    As an example, the one where George Morris threw dirt in a girl's mouth because she yawned on her horse while listening to him during one of his clinics. And his response afterwards.
    I have some other ones but I need a lot more.

    I need these for a story I'm writing and I would like to use as many crazy events and sayings that have happened in real life. Again I need quotes/dialogue and/or action, the George Morris example would be action.

    Help me out guys!! Thank You!!



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar. 19, 2008
    Posts
    1,584

    Default

    At the only clinic I went to, Melvin Dutton threatened to beat me with a crop if I didn't get my horse on his left lead. To be fair, this was after my trainer suggested it



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec. 18, 2007
    Location
    NJ
    Posts
    405

    Default

    Haha one of the trainers at our barn... Do you know how to count to 5??? after a girl got a 4 1/2 down a line time after time...Lol

    Another from my trainer after a particulary (cough) horrible (cough) ride: Were you TRYING to kill yourself??... OH gee yea thats EXACTLY what I was going for Haha
    Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. Explore. Dream. Discover.
    ~Mark Twain



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jan. 27, 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    569

    Default

    "Hey my thunder thighs darling! When are you going to go for a run?" ---in response to my LARGE thighs....(im a size 4/6 and 5'8")
    when students come to visit them in their 20s and after their eq years, "Why couldnt you have been this skinny when you were doing the equitation?"
    "GET YOUR DIAGONAL YOU STUPID GIRL" -hissed from the sidelines during a under saddle junior hunter class loud enough for the judge and the crowd to hear.
    "Do Sex" -said when, at a party that he was throwing, he made the drag queens and Go Go boys get up on dancing blocks.
    "EQUITATION GODDESS!"
    I have many more, better ones, but i cant think of them, it takes a little while.



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jul. 19, 2000
    Location
    Crown Point, IN
    Posts
    3,744

    Default

    I was just reading Little Indian's facebook page today (sorry Hali, if that makes me sound like a stalker- but I'd been looking at some of your fabulous pictures!) and read this one from George Morris:

    "I am going to teach you about men. Distances are like men. Never grab the first one you see; it's never the best one, and more will come along."-God himself, George Morris

    (that is literally a direct copy from her page.)

    GM is also famous in my original area for making a girl get off her horse and roll in the dirt while in the initial lineup at his clinic because her horse wasnt as clean as she was and she was picking nits off her sweater. That was a long time ago.. 15 years? or almost that many.. but I remember it like it was yesterday and its something I'll never forget!!



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Mar. 19, 2008
    Posts
    1,584

    Default

    Do all of our trainers know each other or do we just like the abuse?



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Jan. 27, 2008
    Location
    New Jersey
    Posts
    569

    Default

    "Did Ross get his Adequan today?"
    "No he doesnt get Adequan."
    "Well, uh, did he get his Legend?"
    "No, he doesnt get Legend?"
    "Whats that stuff that he gets?"
    "The estrogen shots?"
    "CRAP I must have taken them instead!"
    ----Exchange between student and gay trainer.



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Sep. 5, 2007
    Posts
    658

    Default

    Carol Thompson after a student got SEVERELY left in an element in gymnastic:

    "hold on, horse.. I'm right behind you!"



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct. 17, 2005
    Location
    IN
    Posts
    583

    Default

    Wow! And another great one from George.
    gg4918, that is hilarious!!!
    Great guys!! Keep 'em coming!!



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar. 26, 2008
    Location
    Maine
    Posts
    1,855

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by RumoursFollow View Post
    GM is also famous in my original area for making a girl get off her horse and roll in the dirt while in the initial lineup at his clinic because her horse wasnt as clean as she was and she was picking nits off her sweater. That was a long time ago.. 15 years? or almost that many.. but I remember it like it was yesterday and its something I'll never forget!!
    A friend of mine took at clinic with GM and she kept looking down at the jump, so he made her get off and roll around in the dirt since she liked looking at it so much.
    "Last time I picked your feet, you broke my toe!"



  11. #11
    counttheroses Guest

    Default Mean/Funny and very, very true quote

    College instructor's comment while I was trying to navigate an unruly, 4 yr old over a course - "leaning forward and praying will not get you over the jump"! That was 16 years ago and I'll never forget it. And leaning forward and praying was exactly what I was doing! LOL



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Sep. 5, 2007
    Posts
    658

    Default

    Group lesson when I was a kid...

    Instructor going around commenting on each rider @ trot w/o stirrups:

    "Rider #1... nice leg position & soft post"

    "Rider #2... pick up your hands and try not to lean forward so much"

    "Rider #3... stop pinching with your knee"

    "Rider #4... take up tennis"

    "Ok... now everyone sit and ask their horses to canter..."

    I seriously almost fell off laughing.



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Dec. 3, 2007
    Posts
    211

    Default

    In a clinic with Joe Fargis:

    "Your whip hand looks like it has polio!"
    "Sir, I think you have a problem with your brain being missing." - Zoe



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Dec. 18, 2007
    Location
    NJ
    Posts
    405

    Default

    Thought of another great one.. Not sure who it was b/c I was sitting at a show watching the schooling ring..BUT...

    "Did you know that trying the same thing over and over even though it doesn't work and hoping for a different outcome is a sign of retardation??"
    Not exactly the most endearing, but HALARIOUS none the less
    Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. Explore. Dream. Discover.
    ~Mark Twain



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jan. 20, 2008
    Posts
    144

    Default

    You know, something must seriously be wrong with me....I find none of this stuff funny



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Apr. 3, 2003
    Location
    Up the creek from bar.ka
    Posts
    10,025

    Default

    "Why this saddle is a ball crusher!" - GM in reference to my Butet.

    my reply...

    "I wouldn't know."



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jan. 20, 2008
    Posts
    144

    Default

    I was clinicing with GM and watched while MY horse tossed him off.....NOW, THAT WAS FUNNY!



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Mar. 6, 2008
    Location
    Berkshire & Surrey
    Posts
    578

    Default


    I cannot even PICTURE GM speaking of his manly bits! Oh dear!



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Mar. 6, 2008
    Location
    Berkshire & Surrey
    Posts
    578

    Default

    And on that note, I have a good one from my trainer when I was learning to turn through the waist and be more supple;
    It was something to the effect of, "stick your boobies out; there's a hot guy at C!"
    I had to stop and regain my composure for a minute



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Oct. 5, 2007
    Posts
    1,013

    Default

    the old pony club coach around here was a former BHS instructor; tiny little English woman with huge glasses and the most cutting remarks ever heard. when a friend of mine was quite young, maybe 10 or so, she was getting a lesson from this lady, and when she couldn't get her leg quite right, instructor picked up a rock, and with absolutely precise aim, smacks child on the leg, tears her jods and everything. "now, can you get that leg back!?" (picture this tiny lady with a bright pink windbreaker on, huge glasses glinting in the sun, posh brittish accent)

    probably not funny when you're 10, but 10 years later it's a hoot!



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