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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Oct. 16, 2002
    Posts
    1,771

    Default Quotes you`d rather not hear!

    This afternoon Greg Davis, our farrier, was putting a shoe back on a mare who`d had a series of abcesses. Her whole foot was pretty well chewed up, from all the soaking, etc.
    As he started to nail, he turned to Sarah Heubner, who was holding her, and said:
    "I don`t know if you pray or not, but if you do, this might be a good time to start!"

    Got any others?



  2. #2
    Join Date
    May. 23, 2006
    Posts
    5,464

    Default

    During a dressage lesson with a VERY well known trainer:

    Snoops was having trouble and the trainer says...

    "I didn't see a disabled sticker on your car"



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Dec. 31, 2007
    Location
    AreaII
    Posts
    1,348

    Default One for the books...

    This applies whether your looking to change barns, trainers, horses, or even significant others (which is when I made up my favorite saying years ago!)...

    "The grass is never greener; only fertilized..."



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul. 12, 2007
    Posts
    71

    Default

    At any point in time while I'm away from the farm, I'd hate to get the call: "Honey, bad news. There was a terrible accident and Legacy had to be gelt."

    Haven't heard it (knocks on wood), yet.
    Andy Glenn
    Glenbaer Farm, LLC
    www.glenbaer.com



  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec. 31, 2007
    Location
    AreaII
    Posts
    1,348

    Default

    Ok ... I promise not to hijack the thread, but I couldn't resist this one.

    My vet enters the barn and finds me holding by beloved (now lawn ornament) ISH with his leg dangling. He looks at the horse, turns and looks at me, and asks...

    "Do you have insurance"...

    Surely that is one you never wanna hear!!!



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Feb. 21, 2003
    Posts
    922

    Default

    "Maybe you should try another sport," from a friend trying to teach me to row a riverraft. Fortunately, haven't heard it from my trainer yet (but then I am somewhat hard of hearing).



  7. #7
    Join Date
    May. 21, 2007
    Location
    The Beautiful Thermal Belt of Upstate Carolina!
    Posts
    198

    Default

    " ..... that was so pretty...... just like a hunter round...... "



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jun. 5, 2007
    Location
    Midland. NC
    Posts
    177

    Default

    "What did you do to piss (*insert BNT here*) off that she gave you THIS horse?"

    Haha, Denny do you remember that one?
    "Real magic can never be made by offering someone else's liver. You must tear out your own, and not expect to get it back. The true witches know that." ~ Peter S. Beagle



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Oct. 16, 2002
    Posts
    1,771

    Default

    The best zingers are delivered totally deadpan, and leave you laughing (or crying) hours after, every time you think of them again.
    I`ve been the recipient of a number of great putdown-ers, like the one about the disabled sticker, but I still think this one from Le Goff is the all time best.
    I`d jumped around the advanced track at Rolex, way back in the early 80s, on Core Buff, and jumped the wrong last fence, a prelim fence (green), next to the adv. one (blue).
    Thinking I`d gone clear, I was strutting around, bragging, when Jack walks up, and says:
    "Denny, when the gods rained stupidness on the earth, they forgot to give you an umbrella."



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Mar. 20, 2001
    Location
    Colorado, a suburb of Los Angeles
    Posts
    6,660

    Default

    "If you think you can jump that fence, you're right and if you think you can't, you're right"

    Hate that one cuz I often think I can't. I'd rather be told to just shut up and do it.



  11. #11
    Join Date
    Jul. 10, 2001
    Posts
    6,708

    Default

    "Have you ever considered tennis?"

    And one from the Maui Jim 2-star this year:

    "Now in the ring is Bruce Davidson, winner of multiple gold medals, representing the US in the Olympics, Pan Am Games, and World Cup. He has competed at Badminton, Burlghey, and Rolex."

    "Next in the ring is Reed Ayers, he didn't hit a tree on cross-country."

    Reed



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Dec. 10, 2004
    Location
    Canada
    Posts
    3,636

    Default

    "you need booze"

    That good ey?



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Feb. 3, 2003
    Location
    MASS
    Posts
    1,500

    Default

    Rayers- Ha ha ha!!!! I just laughed so hard.... Funny because I was just reading that about you hitting a tree in that beautiful picture... LOL!
    "Personally speaking, if for whatever reason I was stuck with absolutely only having to chose one breed, then it would without hesitation be a thoroughbred."



  14. #14
    Join Date
    May. 6, 2005
    Location
    Darlington, Maryland
    Posts
    972

    Default

    "That was certainly the <i>fastest</i> dressage test we've seen today." (With my old OTTB mare. She could outtrot a standardbred.)

    Of course, when a client asks me what I think of their horse and I think that he's so rotten I wouldn't feed him if he were dogfood, I always say, "He has such character," or "so much personality!"



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Jan. 20, 2006
    Location
    SE Mass
    Posts
    82

    Default

    My most memorable "zinger" was during a dressage lesson, and the (nameless) BNT said, "Well, a horse's greatest teachers are his parents. And, unfortunately, your horse didn't have good ones."

    OUCH!!!



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Jan. 20, 2006
    Location
    SE Mass
    Posts
    82

    Default And Avra....

    Oh dear! People tell me my horse has tons of personality and character all the time!! Ouch again!



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Jan. 5, 2008
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    28

    Default

    How about this one:

    "Well, what do you think my horse is worth?"

    "How much does he weigh?"
    Oh, no, he's gone to that Thoroughbred Place in his little mind.....



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Jan. 26, 2001
    Location
    NC
    Posts
    4,389

    Default

    An oft quoted one for me, "For god d*** Denny, don't be such a passenger"! This is said by Denny with the appropriate Jack Le Goff accent. This has been directed at me.
    I love to use this one on my students, too.



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Dec. 2, 2007
    Posts
    839

    Default

    Well, a few years ago I was doing a clinic with a very-well-known-multiple-olympic-gold-medal-winning rider, and after I almost ran him over on the bank complex, he said to me:

    "Kaaaaaate, Cahn't you do ANYTHING right?" Ouch! (Insert Aussie accent )

    Now, looking back on it, I definitely realise that just because I could make it around a 3' jumper course did not mean I should have been schooling Novice and Training X-C fences: On a green horse...with a plain snaffle...and no bat...or any spurs....or a running martingale...in front of said multiple-gold-medal-winning-rider.

    The highlight of the clinic: losing both stirrups while jumping into a large coffin complex and living to tell the tale! I think that comment was something like, "Well you actually can ride a little bit, cahn't you?"

    The snooty Dressage coach at my school went up to my friend after she had a particularly bad lesson, and said, "Wow, I've never seen you ride so poorly." Ummm, thanks?!?!?



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Nov. 8, 2006
    Location
    On the back of a horse somewhere in KY
    Posts
    1,127

    Default

    From Bruce: Well, that's what I'd call "Road and Tracks" dressage.
    Bruce again: He's got as much stupid as he has jump. That could work to you benefit...possibly.
    Ralph: He sure does stop quick. Maybe he'd make a nice polo horse.
    "Gallop as if you were to die tomorrow, jump as if you were to live forever."



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