This afternoon Greg Davis, our farrier, was putting a shoe back on a mare who`d had a series of abcesses. Her whole foot was pretty well chewed up, from all the soaking, etc.
As he started to nail, he turned to Sarah Heubner, who was holding her, and said:
"I don`t know if you pray or not, but if you do, this might be a good time to start!"
The best zingers are delivered totally deadpan, and leave you laughing (or crying) hours after, every time you think of them again.
I`ve been the recipient of a number of great putdown-ers, like the one about the disabled sticker, but I still think this one from Le Goff is the all time best.
I`d jumped around the advanced track at Rolex, way back in the early 80s, on Core Buff, and jumped the wrong last fence, a prelim fence (green), next to the adv. one (blue).
Thinking I`d gone clear, I was strutting around, bragging, when Jack walks up, and says:
"Denny, when the gods rained stupidness on the earth, they forgot to give you an umbrella."
An oft quoted one for me, "For god d*** Denny, don't be such a passenger"! This is said by Denny with the appropriate Jack Le Goff accent. This has been directed at me.
I love to use this one on my students, too.
Well, a few years ago I was doing a clinic with a very-well-known-multiple-olympic-gold-medal-winning rider, and after I almost ran him over on the bank complex, he said to me:
"Kaaaaaate, Cahn't you do ANYTHING right?" Ouch! (Insert Aussie accent )
Now, looking back on it, I definitely realise that just because I could make it around a 3' jumper course did not mean I should have been schooling Novice and Training X-C fences: On a green horse...with a plain snaffle...and no bat...or any spurs....or a running martingale...in front of said multiple-gold-medal-winning-rider.
The highlight of the clinic: losing both stirrups while jumping into a large coffin complex and living to tell the tale! I think that comment was something like, "Well you actually can ride a little bit, cahn't you?"
The snooty Dressage coach at my school went up to my friend after she had a particularly bad lesson, and said, "Wow, I've never seen you ride so poorly." Ummm, thanks?!?!?
From Bruce: Well, that's what I'd call "Road and Tracks" dressage.
Bruce again: He's got as much stupid as he has jump. That could work to you benefit...possibly.
Ralph: He sure does stop quick. Maybe he'd make a nice polo horse.
"Gallop as if you were to die tomorrow, jump as if you were to live forever."