I lost a favorite 2006 Landkonig colt, Luger, yesterday to a broken leg, out in his pasture. Freak accident. As I struggle through my grief I have the irrational, yet persistent, thought keep running through my mind.... maybe more through my heart. I want a re-do! If only we can set the clock back, only by 24 hours, I'll figure out something, find a way, to intervene and save this colt. Of course, this can't happen. Maybe the larger lesson here is to live our lives in this moment. Plan for the future, but live for today.
I have a severely handicapped child. Nichole is Autistic and has Cerebral Palsy. She'll be with me always. I've read and heard so many times, my handicapped child is such a blessing. I thought, blessing my a** until one day I was in a Wallmart nursery and there a downs syndrome boy was watering the plants. He came running over to me to see if I needed help and moved some plants out of my way. He had a lovely smile, so willing to help, and was thoroughly enjoying his day working in the nursery. That was when it dawned on me, he is blessed! He is truly living! And look at me! Who's the fool here? I've barely lived any of my day, because I'm so busy with yesterday and tomorrow, that I'm missing this day!
I'm going to try to make this my new resolution, to live the day that I'm in. To be kinder and more thoughtful of those I'm around. I will continue to miss Luger for a very long time. He was a special colt who delighted everyone he met. But as another thread running says, hug your babies. I read that just 2 days ago, but tragedy seemed sooo far from my own safe and secure little herd. There are no re-do's. The moment we're in, is all we have.
In loving memory of Luger- July 4, 2006 - March 15, 2008
Last edited by misita; Mar. 16, 2008 at 04:27 PM.
Chris Misita www.hiddenvalleyfarms.net Home of Bravo and Warrick!
To dare; progress comes at this price. All sublime conquests are, more or less, the rewards of daring.
What an inspiration you just became. We are battling with keeping a foal in the oven longer. Mare has milk at 311 days.......you have just made me relax more and realize what ever will be will be.......bless you and I am so truly sorry for your loss.......
My heart goes out to you. I too lost my dream horse in 2001 in a freak pasture accident (fractured scapula). He was only 4. That horse touched my heart like no others have. On the way to UC Davis with him the song "One More Day" by Little Texas was playing on the radio....to this day I can't listen to that song without completely breaking down in tears.
I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your favorite colt and also the challenges presented in your life. You must be a very strong person with your faith in the right places to have the attitude you've expressed. Lots of hugs!!
http://www.talloaksfarm.net ---"Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts." --- Winston Churchill
I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your youngster. Losing them young, before they can express their talent is especially hard. All of those hopes and dreams for their future, and no place to go with it. Very sad.
You are such a strong woman! You may be strong out of necessity rather than choice, but you are doing it. You are not running. You are not handing off the hard work. My hat is off to you for looking forward and seeing the blessings in life. I'm so sorry for the loss of your colt, and I'm also thankful to you for sharing your story. Thank you.
I am sorry for your loss yet grateful for your insight during your grief.
My daughter has Asperger's and may be dependent on us for as long as my husband and I live. I somehow convinced myself she would be magically cured when she attended college. Unfortunately, the experienced only showed that, despite her high IQ, her difficulty with trivial daily tasks make living independently a big challenge. I have fallen into despair worrying about who might care for her when we are gone if she is unable to care for herself. Who will be her friend and ignore her odd behavior? Will she be able to use her intellectual gifts in any way?
With Sarah, I have the biggest re-do wishes of all; constantly wondering if I had just put her in this or that private school, or put off working longer, etc, maybe she would be functioning at a higher level.
Only in the past few weeks have I taken the approach to take things one step at a time, and not to get too far ahead of the situation. When I look at Sarah today, I remind myself to enjoy her quirky sense of humor, her vast knowledge on various subjects, and her lack of self-consciousness.
When Sarah floundered in college, we realized we needed to sell my younger daughter's horse to give us more options for different programs for Sarah. While we knew we couldn't keep Presley forever, it was heart-breaking to sell him. It is hard for me to explain the affection I have for that horse, but I found myself crying myself to sleep soon after he left the barn just before Christmas.
But I am grateful we had the opportunity to own him, and am grateful to my daughter's trainer for the success she experienced with him, not all of it reflected by ribbons.
Again, I am sorry for your loss. Sorry for the loss of a talented colt, and of the promising future that was his. But thanks for the reminder to live in the moment, and not lose them completely to worries about the future, or in regrets about the past.