1. He won't come into my hands!
2. There's nothing like having 17 hands between your legs.
3. I'm gonna get off now.
4. More leg, less hand...
5. It was a great ride, but hes kinda sticky.
6. He needs a good 20 min warm-up...
7. Relax your back, dont pinch with your knees, go with the motion, rock your pelvis...
8. When he gets excited he really foams up!
9. If he's not ridden 5 days a week he gets cranky...
10. I rode him yesterday, but Samm is gonna ride him today.
11. Go ahead, ride him, you'll like him...he'll be good for you
12. Push!!! Squeeze!!! Pull hard!!!
13. He's being a pig, get his head up!
14. He bends to the left, but he's really stiff to the right.
15. He really over reacts when I sit down into him...
16. Smack him if he refuses!
17. Good, thats looks much better with his head down.
18. Dont pump too much.
19. You want his hindquarters to be balanced and even with yours.
20. If you squeeze with your thighs and legs he'll take off earlier.
21. You two perform really well with each other!
22. I need spurs and a whip to really get him going.
23. Turn him loose for a while, get rid of some of that energy!
24. I rode bareback today.
25. He's/She's been around, and very experianced.
26. I'm gonna do him in Short Stirrup and my trainer will ride him in the Hopeful class.
27. He's too much for her, maybe you should get on.
28. He's a bit of a bumpy ride, just try not to grip with your thighs too much.
29. Make sure you release.
30. Don't lean forward unless you want him to go faster.
31. As he comes up, lean forward and run your hands up the crest of his neck.
32. Squeeze and release... squeeze and release...give and take...
33. "How was he today?" reply... "Excellent, very obedient for once."
34. Wow, I just love riding the big ones!!!!!
Surely we can add on & make this 100 Things You Can Only Say In A Barn!
along the lines of the semen thing, i once yelled at the barn dog to stop yelling at the fedex guy: "knock it off, he's bringing us babies!" then had to explain to the guy what was actually IN that funny looking blue container....
41) "Dang it, Doc, did he ejaculate yet or is he still messing around?" (said to the vet handling the rookie live-cover-breeding stallion who wouldn't get to 4th base and finish up)
42) "Easy there, son, you've gotta love on them a little bit first, before you hop up." (same vet, to aforementioned stallion)
I can't even tell you all the wild-eyed looks I got when discussion breeding issues over the phone when I worked as the Exec to a local CEO. I was rather famous, rather fast in that company. What do you expect when you eavesdrop, I ask??
Was once discussing prevailing stud fees with an older gentleman rider in a business office. Another man walked by, looked at me, looked at the older man, and said "Isn't he a little OLD to be demanding a stud fee?"
\"For all those men who say, \"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free,\" here\'s an update for you: Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it\'s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.\"-