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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Dec. 11, 2006
    Location
    MD
    Posts
    115

    Default 34 Things You Can Only Say In A Barn...

    Enjoy all!

    1. He won't come into my hands!
    2. There's nothing like having 17 hands between your legs.
    3. I'm gonna get off now.
    4. More leg, less hand...
    5. It was a great ride, but hes kinda sticky.
    6. He needs a good 20 min warm-up...
    7. Relax your back, dont pinch with your knees, go with the motion, rock your pelvis...

    8. When he gets excited he really foams up!
    9. If he's not ridden 5 days a week he gets cranky...
    10. I rode him yesterday, but Samm is gonna ride him today.
    11. Go ahead, ride him, you'll like him...he'll be good for you
    12. Push!!! Squeeze!!! Pull hard!!!
    13. He's being a pig, get his head up!
    14. He bends to the left, but he's really stiff to the right.
    15. He really over reacts when I sit down into him...
    16. Smack him if he refuses!
    17. Good, thats looks much better with his head down.
    18. Dont pump too much.
    19. You want his hindquarters to be balanced and even with yours.
    20. If you squeeze with your thighs and legs he'll take off earlier.
    21. You two perform really well with each other!
    22. I need spurs and a whip to really get him going.
    23. Turn him loose for a while, get rid of some of that energy!
    24. I rode bareback today.
    25. He's/She's been around, and very experianced.
    26. I'm gonna do him in Short Stirrup and my trainer will ride him in the Hopeful class.
    27. He's too much for her, maybe you should get on.
    28. He's a bit of a bumpy ride, just try not to grip with your thighs too much.
    29. Make sure you release.
    30. Don't lean forward unless you want him to go faster.
    31. As he comes up, lean forward and run your hands up the crest of his neck.
    32. Squeeze and release... squeeze and release...give and take...
    33. "How was he today?" reply... "Excellent, very obedient for once."
    34. Wow, I just love riding the big ones!!!!!

    Surely we can add on & make this 100 Things You Can Only Say In A Barn!



  2. #2
    Join Date
    Jun. 14, 2006
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    11,372

    Default



    Now I know why people stare at my friend and I at the pub while we have beers after a ride.

    NOTE: it's NOT because we're wearing breeches and half chaps I suspect.
    Last edited by BuddyRoo; Nov. 15, 2007 at 04:03 PM. Reason: sp
    A good horseman doesn't have to tell anyone...the horse already knows.

    Might be a reason, never an excuse...



  3. #3
    Join Date
    Oct. 7, 2006
    Location
    on and off the bit
    Posts
    3,909

    Default

    Well, sometimes after a good ride with Blaze (and when there is no one else within hearing distance), I'll pat his neck and say to him, "So, was it as good for you as it was for me?"
    Founder of the People Who Prefer COTH Over FB Clique
    People Who Hate to Rush to Kill Wildlife Clique!
    "I Sing Silly Songs to My Animals!" Clique



  4. #4
    Join Date
    Jul. 19, 2007
    Location
    ohio
    Posts
    945

    Default

    35. Stop - so I can take your rubbers & chains off!



  5. #5
    Join Date
    May. 15, 2006
    Location
    Eastern WV Panhandle
    Posts
    1,246

    Default

    36) Now where did I leave that whip?!?!?!



  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jun. 18, 2007
    Posts
    3,947

    Default

    37) What kind of leather is really the best for grip, fit, quality, and flexibility?
    38) And do you prefer your leather black or brown?



  7. #7
    Join Date
    Nov. 9, 2007
    Posts
    92

    Default

    That is great! That explains all those times at a Diner or Food store when people would stare at my best friend and I - it all makes perfect sense LOL - It wasnt because of the barn attire at all !



  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan. 16, 2002
    Location
    West Coast of Michigan
    Posts
    36,321

    Default

    39) How long of a shaft do I need for my new driving pony?
    40) Where on earth is that SEMEN? Should've been here hours ago!

    Click here before you buy.



  9. #9
    Join Date
    Apr. 28, 2004
    Location
    Saratoga Springs, NY
    Posts
    4,543

    Default

    along the lines of the semen thing, i once yelled at the barn dog to stop yelling at the fedex guy: "knock it off, he's bringing us babies!" then had to explain to the guy what was actually IN that funny looking blue container....



  10. #10
    Join Date
    Aug. 23, 2002
    Location
    Prospect, ME
    Posts
    4,565

    Default

    Yay!! you POOPED!!! (to a horse with impaction colic)
    -Jessica



  11. #11

    Default

    I'm spitting my drink all over the screen. LoL I can't let the fiance read this one..he'll get jealous of my horse!!
    Horses are the way into a woman's heart!



  12. #12
    Join Date
    Dec. 11, 2004
    Location
    Maryland
    Posts
    1,698

    Default

    Something I heard from an instructor during a lesson:

    "wrap him around your leg like it's a stripper pole"!



  13. #13
    Join Date
    Feb. 4, 2005
    Location
    San Antonio, TX, or thereabouts
    Posts
    686

    Default

    41) "Dang it, Doc, did he ejaculate yet or is he still messing around?" (said to the vet handling the rookie live-cover-breeding stallion who wouldn't get to 4th base and finish up)

    42) "Easy there, son, you've gotta love on them a little bit first, before you hop up." (same vet, to aforementioned stallion)

    I can't even tell you all the wild-eyed looks I got when discussion breeding issues over the phone when I worked as the Exec to a local CEO. I was rather famous, rather fast in that company. What do you expect when you eavesdrop, I ask??



  14. #14
    Join Date
    Feb. 2, 2007
    Location
    Finland and NJ
    Posts
    2,262

    Default

    *spits gatorade onto screen*



  15. #15
    Join Date
    Apr. 27, 2007
    Location
    Virginia
    Posts
    148

    Default

    42. I know you like the big one's, but I prefer mine a bit smaller.



  16. #16
    Join Date
    Oct. 1, 2003
    Location
    Nonsuch House
    Posts
    3,507

    Default

    Of a less sexual nature I once asked if a mare threw her legs and a woman asked me if it was dangerous, true story.
    RIP Kelly 1977-2007 "Wither thou goest, so shall I"

    "To tilt when you should withdraw is Knightly too."



  17. #17
    Join Date
    Oct. 7, 2006
    Location
    on and off the bit
    Posts
    3,909

    Default

    Originally posted by Blue Yonder:

    42) "Easy there, son, you've gotta love on them a little bit first, before you hop up." (same vet, to aforementioned stallion)
    The vet oughta sell that line to some country singer-songwriter--he'd make a fortune in royalties!
    Founder of the People Who Prefer COTH Over FB Clique
    People Who Hate to Rush to Kill Wildlife Clique!
    "I Sing Silly Songs to My Animals!" Clique



  18. #18
    Join Date
    Oct. 11, 2002
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    4,606

    Default

    Was once discussing prevailing stud fees with an older gentleman rider in a business office. Another man walked by, looked at me, looked at the older man, and said "Isn't he a little OLD to be demanding a stud fee?"



  19. #19
    Join Date
    Oct. 16, 2006
    Location
    VA
    Posts
    1,134

    Default


    Love them all!!



  20. #20
    Join Date
    Nov. 11, 2002
    Location
    The Cliffs of Insanity
    Posts
    3,992

    Default

    45. You look good on him!


    \"For all those men who say, \"Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free,\" here\'s an update for you: Nowadays 80% of women are against marriage. Why? Because women realize it\'s not worth buying an entire pig just to get a little sausage.\"-



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