I will use the term "trainer" loosely
a few gems come to mind-
"that horse's neck is too long, he can't drop his head into a frame like so and so can"....."you have no confidence"..."that kid can't ride, that's why that horse is acting up" (while on a fresh, green OTTB)...."gymnastics, you don't need gymnastics, trot poles are fine"...."that horse doesn't know how to lunge"...."i have no idea where that pony came from, it got dropped off in the middle of the night"...."that horse can't jump 3 foot"....."i don't like your attitude" (directed to student face down in the dirt)...."this mare is easy to ride, it's you that has the problem"..."safety is my primary concern"..."that horse is fine, it's just a runny nose"..."i told the girls they didn't have to come in to feed until 10 am"...."your problem is that you know too many people at too many barns"..."i can't afford a new water tank, they will just have to go without".
and our personal favorites-"i am the most honest person there is"...."tell your mom to get off her wallet!"....and "get your head out of your ass!"
this person has not shown over fences in quite a few years, while his/her peers are doing so on their client's horses and have sales prospects they are bringing along. hence, this person is not a trainer, simply an instructor that gets lucky from time to time.
Pee on your horse, you will bond! (maybe on cold day, on an iron horse??)
Okay, I am not naming names, but there was a woman who used to come out to the barn, at fort_______, she wore these crazy pink sunglasses. Some of the homeschool barn moms swore by her (thats because the kids did not complain, because she had ammy's working over 2ft fences before they even knew how to hold the reins correctly).
One of the barn moms told her i had a young yearling, that I was training myself. She came over to me, told me she could help me, gave me a bus. card...then asked me how I communicated to him (now she is a certified nutjob in my book). I looked dumbfounded. She asked me if I ever....get ready for this shocker:
"do you ever pee on your horse??"" WHHHHAAAAAAAAAATT?"
"Yeah, I get on my stallions and pee on them, it is how we bond"
okay a few things are wrong with this theory:
A: in most states, we call that beastiality
B: In most states, that is illegal
C: I don't pee on or in anything but a toilet, or a hole I dug
D: Um, dude, my horse is a yearling, even if I wanted to get on him and Pee, I would break his back
E. The fact that this is normal to her, really concerns me that moms would swear by her like Kix cereal.
F: She is not locked up in a mental hospital?
G: I still see her ads in equiery.
Wow. Peeing on a horse. If only John Lyons knew. New age horse training. Sorry, not for me!