Feeling completely stalled, at a dead end, quarter life crisis?
As the title says...
I turned 25 on Friday. Cue quarter life crisis. And I don't mean corvette and a trip to Spain.
I feel lost. Lonely. Stuck. And direction-less.
I am on medical leave from vet school. I completed second year by the skin of my teeth and decided to take time off to figure out what the hell was going on for me. And I have had no such luck, nearly a year later. And now I am faced with the decision to go back or to add another year to my leave, and I just don't feel ready.
I am battling severe lyme disease. Inflammatory numbers higher than they have ever seen (TGFbeta1 over 40,000) and nothing is helping. Just switched to ceftin from doxy and hoping for a change. But I am crippled. The joint pain is debilitating. I can't ride. I can barely walk my dogs. I can barely work. If I have a good day and decide to do these things, I am crippled for 2 days. If I work a half shift (4 hours) I am in bed by 8 pm.
I feel like I have just lost my life and I haven't a clue where to go from here. I am too young for this...but here I am.
I keep thinking I just need a plan, but I make one, and then wake up the next day with joints so huge there's no way I could even get gloves on to go clean stalls, never mind do the work.
I keep thinking of how I used to be...vet school by day, dog agility by night, riding 3x/week. Active, bold.
Now I have lost so much confidence because so many of the things I excelled in I can barely imagine trying to do.
Does anyone have any ideas? I am not sure the point of this post but I am at a very low point tonight and feeling quite hopeless and defeated. I think back to how my life used to be and I just sob.