I'm going to be a stepmom soon. Any tips? Advice?
I think the title says it all but here are some details. My fiance has an adorable 6 year old daughter. She and I get along very well and she says she is excited for me to be her stepmom (the feeling is mutual! :D). I know I will never be her mother nor do I want to replace her mother. I have talked to my fiance and we've discussed my "role" with his daughter, views on punishment, etc. Does anyone have any tips or advice from their experience that they would be willing to share?
Make sure you and Dad are on the same page
and be prepared for the BM to change when you and Dad are finally married. At that point, the former wife realizes that he has actually moved on.
Before DH and I got married his then 10 yr old daughter was my best buddy. After? Her mom did everything in her power to make both us and her daughter miserable. To the point of telling DD that she didn't have to listen to either her father or I and if she didn't like the rules she should "call 911 and say you are being child abused". Her house had zero rules. As in eat junk food, don't brush your teeth/hair, change your clothes, bathe, etc.
I wish you every luck, we spent thousands on child psychologists and counselors with zero cooperation from the Mom. We lost, child lost, I guess her Mom won, but small comfort to us. We do not have a relationship with his now adult child and haven't for over 10 years, her choice. God knows we tried.