I Dated That Douche!
Or was married to them, or in-lawed to them, or...?
This is the website
Now, who have you dated??
I went out on a first date last year with a guy who stared at my boobs the entire time then when I finally asked him what gives, he announced loud and clear. "You're boobs! They are so big! You almost knocked over the waitress with them when you came in!"
There was no second date.
I dated that douche that all of a sudden announced in the middle of dinner that he felt naked without his gun. What gun? Oh, he moved up here from CA and hadn't gotten his concealed carry yet. And he proceeded to talk about his gun and how he missed it and never wanted to go anywhere without it, for the rest of the date. No second date for you.
I also dated that douche that started planning our "couples costume" for Halloween and invited me to his brother's Halloween party (it was early September at the time). He called me obsessively the day after our date. That was actually our second date - our first had been about a year prior, and it reminded me WHY I had never pursued a second date. He'd showed up TWENTY MINUTES LATE to pick me up for a movie. The movie had started before we left my house. No third date for you.
There were others, but those are the highlights. :lol:
I dated the guy who was "married". He wasn't actually married but had been dating his GF for 3 years. I was young (20) and stupid thinking that he would actually leave her. Surprise surprise, he ended up knocking her up when he went home to Texas to visit his parents. He left me for her and moved 1000 miles without telling me (SC to TX). I'll never do that crap again.
WOW!!!! Good riddance, right??
"Dated" a guy for several months, probably five or six. I certainly wasn't dating anyone else, and we spent enough time together that I don't see how he could have been either. This included meals out, movies, meals in, movies.
I never met his friends. In fact, he made a point once of saying a friend was coming over in the morning, and I could come over around, ohhh, say 3pm, after the friend left.
Was friends with the now-DH at the time, and he said it was BS and obviously the guy wasn't into me. Guy and I went to Canada to visit some of my friends, had a good time, he brought me back home and went back to his home...and I felt a weird tingly sensation. Got online and yep, he had checked his online dating profile as soon as he got home. Buh-bye.
Ha! I have a few good ones.
Went on a first date with a guy who, in the middle of a fairly Jewish neighborhood restaurant, went on and on about how the Jews were "the man" and keeping him down. THis was AFTER he had posted pics of his BROTHER and essentially "stole" brother's identity including profession on his match.com profile, and just BEFORE he started asking me about my mortgage. I paid and left quickly.
The REAL douche I actually dated was a very handsome ER doc. He asked me to be exclusive after a few weeks (which caused me to put off a first date with my now husband) and I thought things were going well...then he literally broke up with me on my birthday via a TEXT MESSAGE. When I got back on match, the first person to message me was my now husband who said, "I'm assuming you just fell off the planet and that's why you quit messaging with me, but now that you're back, let's get together!"
I always say that I have never dated an a**hole. I have been lucky. I have had dates with less than stellar individuals, but it never got past one date.
recently, however, I had a stint with someone who prevents me from saying that I have never dated a loser. A 40 yr old who was completely helpless. Life simply happens to him. I hate to say this, b/c he was a -nice- guy, but damn, he was PATHETIC. First guy to elicit feelings of contempt/scorn combined with a strange pity.
I dated that douce that broke up with me because he "couldn't deal with the horse thing" and because I "wasn't preacher's wife material."
Did I mention he's not a preacher? Or even particularly religious?
I dated that douche that said "it's me or the horses" so I chose the horses and he dumped me in the middle of a 3 day show... The best I did that entire weekend was Sunday after he dumped me Saturday night!
I proceeded to take him back probably 5 or 6 more times before I finally dumped him for good and met my now DH.
Ha...I dated and was even stupid enough to live with the Douche for about a year.
I had severe "daddy" issues...and this douche landed me on the psch's couch. Dr. made me realize that I was trying to rescue my relationship with my ass of a Dad, thus seeking out the same type of man with the same emotional baggage and trying to "save him"
This douche ended up dating his student teacher (yep, a teacher) while he was still living with me (nothing is going on honest, I just slept on her couch last night cuz we got drunk and I couldn't drive home) and marrying her a year later. Better her than me...thank god. He was an obnoxious asshole douche!!!
I dated the douche who made me pay my 1/2 of a 20 dollar dinner tab--and then he left a 2 dollar tip.
I dated another douche who decided to close his business but not give his bizz partner ANY cut of the sell out. (partner told him not to worry about it so he...well, he really didn't)
And then on the same date we were served an extra salad by mistake (Murder Mystery Dinner) and he didn't offer to share it with me. Just pulled it on over and began to eat it up. When I snagged a tomato off of the plate he said "what the hell??"
GOOD BYE DOUCHE BAGS!!!
I dated the douche who told me on our first date (( had met him in a fern type bar - he seemed ok), that instead of the lunch he had promised, we were going to the dog track.
In my car, 'cause he had "used a lot of gas up" getting to my place.
Then at the track entrance (admission was $.50 each - this was in the dark ages) he turned to me and said "Got a buck?" - a phrase that lives in infamy in my family to this day.
I figured it would require too much explaining to ditch him then and there, so I forked over the buck and dashed while supposedly going to the bathroom.
Guess he was planning to earn money for lunch betting at the track.
Oh boy... I have stories...
I had a date with a guy whom I had met online and it was scheduled for a weeknight. I had just worked a 12 hour shift (5am-5pm) and drove an hour to meet him. The first thing he said to me was "You're just not as hot as I'd hoped you'd be." Well then!
Then, I had a date with a guy who again, met online, who after we met it was obvious that he used several old pictures on his profile. He was a husky guy in his profile pictures - probably 260ish but when I met him he had to be about 400 pounds. And he had a snaggletooth. One of his front teeth was about twice as long as the other and a shade of dark khaki brown. It hung down over his lower lip. I couldn't stop staring at it. He was drenched in sweat and winded from walking from his car, parked illegally in a handicapped spot, to the door of the restaurant. The waitress took us to our table - a booth - and he just could not fit in it. We were taken to a table where he needed to use two chairs to support himself. I ordered a burger and for his entree he ordered a triple order of the cheese sticks appetizer. And then, it came out during the date he was actually MARRIED. With kids. Living in the basement of his parent's house with his wife! I politely got up and left.
And then there was the cop who said that he was in the mood for KFC. I offered to stop and get some for dinner and bring a movie. I got to his place and he complained about everything. It was cold. There was not enough dark meat. He wanted it extra crispy and I got regular. He just wouldn't stop so I told him "You know what - you can take this chicken and shove it up your @$$!" And to which he responded "You come near my @$$ and I'll shoot you. I have seven guns in this house and you don't know where all of them are." Ok then. That was the last time I saw him.
And then there was my last BF. Long term guy who was still attached by cord to his mommy. Lived at home with his parents (having never left) for the majority of our relationship. He was 34. He said living in the country was dangerous because there were no street lights and well water was polluted. Toilets don't flush the same on septic systems. He also had a lovely habit of signing up for adult encounter websites every 4-6 months. He claimed he never met anyone but he just did it for entertainment. I caught him in that lie. He would go to "gentleman's clubs" with his buddy and pay $300+ for lap dances and come home and friend the dancers on facebook and have their phone numbers in his cell phone. So thankful he's not my problem anymore. I just feel sorry for his next victim.
I dated a guy who "hung out"(See that however you want to) with my friends and then bragged about it to me. He had given me a sweatshirt of his one day when I was cold. He took it back and about a week later I saw one of my "friends" wearing it.
I dated a guy who told me he loved me after dating about 2 weeks (uuhh thanks?). I hung out with some friends and met some new people the night he told me he loved me... he got jealous, called my mom(this was when I was still in high school) and told her that I was hanging out with people who were doing drugs and that I was doing them as well. Not true, btw.
I also dated a guy who took me on a first date to a restaurant and mini golf. Fine, it was a nice date. But at the end he gave me a hug and then said "I'm going to see how hard I can squeeze you." And literally squeezed me with all of his strength... and he is a pretty fit, muscly guy that works out a lot. So I felt like my eyes were going to pop out of my head and I couldn't breathe or talk. What in the world would make anyone think that that is a good way to end a first date? Weird.
:lol: This thread is excellent! So glad I'm not alone, because I have many douche stories...
I dated that douche who invited me to lunch, then asked me to stop by GameStop so he could get some cash. Then after the meal, asked if I could pay because he really didn't have enough money for the meal *and* for cigarettes.
I dated that douche who invited me to a bbq at his house - he knew I didn't know the area, and I told him I'd get there at 5ish. At 5:01 (I swear to God - even checked my phone) he called my cell asking why I would stand him up. I was only 4 or 5 minutes from his house, so I told him to chill and I'd be there in a jiffy. Yeah - he was also the douche who, once I got there, said, "If you drink too much tonight, you can sleep in my bed. I won't do anything - I'm not like that. Really. I promise I'll keep you safe...." Yeah. I'll buy that for a dollar. Whatev.
I've dated that douche who swore up and down that he was single, but there were some red flags during the evening. I decided to skeedaddle after he and I went back to his place so I could meet his dogs (we made out a little, but didn't do anything more). I started dating a long-term guy a couple of weeks later. Douche finds out about long-term (they were acquaintances, but hardly knew each other) and says to him, "Dude - I'm not really sure but.... I think I was with Classy after you two started dating." Thankfully long-term believed me over Douche. And YEARS later I find out Douche was, in fact, in a relationship on that night we went on a date. A**hole.
...I have many, many more, but I'll stop there. My cousin keeps telling me I should write a book about these odd dates I've had with douches...
Originally Posted by NEEDS A NAP
I am seriously LOLing here!
you paid his way in and left him there?
(sad thing, he probably didn't miss you until his money he had stashed in his shoe was gone!)
You stranded him at the track ??? good one ! ...
Originally Posted by NEEDS A NAP
Back at his place for a drink and headlights pull in, its the maybe ex...maybe still dating girl who storms in a starts yelling. She only leaves when the police are called, but on the way out says "fine but I'm taking this with me!" and takes a small piece of furniture. Someday I'm going to use that same trick, but I'm going to have a moving van and help right outside the door!
I'll play.. I have one douche story. I go to school with a guy, known him since 7th grade. Well even then he had a rep for not being the best guy. Well stupid me started talking to him in eighth grade and then stopped returning texts/phone calls/ and started avoiding me at school. Whatever it was 8th grade. Summer before sophomore year he texts me out of the blue and we started talking again. I Hang out and have a great end of the summer. There were read flags but I ignored them. Anyways by the time I ended things 6 months later, he had been with at least 10 other girls(mostly one time dates. Some it was several). And when I did accuse him of it, he still denied it even though some of the girls had told me. And he still tries to be my friend to this day. Um no thanks! Highschool boys can be the worst sometimes. So thankful for my horses. Better than boys any day!!
Yep, I stranded him at the track. Don't worry, I'm sure he found someone else to give him a ride home. This was many eons ago (late 70's), gas was cheap, the guy was actually cute - I'm sure he won or scrounged enough to give someone gas money.
I have always told my DD if a guy turns to you and goes "got a buck" or nowadays, it's probably 10 or so, run the other way!