Vent: Christmas Family Drama
So... mostly just a vent here, but if anyone has any words of wisdom I won't reject them!
Over the summer, SO and I went to the Cape and bought his entire sister's family t-shirts (sister, husband, 2 boys, 12 and 5). They moved over the summer so we never mailed them- they live far away. SO's mom went to visit grandsons and family for Christmas, so SO and I sent along box with t-shirts and a Fenway puzzle. We were petrified that we were going to get shirts too small, so we bought a bit big.
SO this AM we got a text from sister which read: I MUST approve all future gifts you get my children. :confused: I could understand that if we had gotten them inappropriate t-shirts that said Budweiser or something on them, and honestly could not figure out what in the world could have been wrong with the gifts. Later, SO is texting his mother, who informs him that the puzzle was too old for the 5 year old and the shirts are too big. When SO says, well, we sent things that were from the heart, we aren't taking orders for gifts, he is informed that he is being a jack ass and that the gifts were a waste of money.
My take on this is that the sister should of said thank you for your thoughtful gifts and donated them to charity if she didn't want them. And there are a number of tactful and caring ways she could have redirected future gift giving for her children, including please don't get anything, they have way too much stuff.
This, I'm sure you can imagine, is not the first time something like this has happened. I want my SO to have contact with his family, but can't help but feeling like telling him to cut out family that make him feel like shit.
Ugh. I don't know how to support him with this. Additionally, his father died almost 10 years ago, and since then his mother has routinely left town to see his sister and family at every available opportunity, including every. single. christmas. leaving him pretty much alone.