The people lovers, plan changers, and boundary steppers
Holiday vent. Anybody else have friends and/or relatives like this? The ones that want to be with ten thousand other people, want to change plans (especially at the last minute), and have no clue about boundaries? And that no means NO.
I love getting together with people, but I much, much prefer smaller gatherings to big parties. When I make plans, I do not feel the need to invite every single person I've ever met, along with their brothers, sisters, parents, and third cousins twice removed.
DH and I have a couple of friends that are great people, very fun and nice to be around. We go out (by "go out", I'm talking going out to eat, to the movies, or to do something else, not like out to a bar...usually :winkgrin:) once or twice a month.
Said people LOVE to be around tons of other people. Lots and lots of other peoples.
Every single time we make plans, they want to invite extra people along. If they're the ones making the plans, fine, it's perfectly fine for them to invite whomever they want. I'll go or not, depending. But if I'M the one making plans...they shouldn't be asking me constantly to invite others along also. Am I right about this, or am I smoking crack?
Current example, we've had plans for awhile to go out to dinner on Friday night to exchange Xmas gifts. Then we'll come back to my house for dessert and drinks. Six people going/invited, including them, which is perfect in my mind. I get a text a few minutes ago asking if X and Y are going? Uh, no. We didn't invite them, no one has ever mentioned inviting them. And I don't have Xmas presents for them. Oh. Well how about Z? NO! Hello? Bueller? Anyone? Six people, not twenty.
Then on Saturday night some mutual friends are having an ugly sweater Christmas party. I got the Facebook invite and saw 108 people invited, 95% of whom I do not know. Not really my thing. Plus there is the fact that I don't even own a Christmas sweater, let alone an ugly one.
People lover friends immediately send a message, wanting to meet up and go to the party and blah blah blah. I tell them that I do not plan to go. They immediately start on the WHY??? You need to go! Lots of other people! Lots! Ugly sweaters! Lots of people! Fun, fun, fun!
Still, no. I try to be polite and use the fact that I don't have the Christmas sweater as an excuse. Reply? Well, they think I should go out and BUY a sweater to go to this party. That I don't even want to go to in the first place. And I will in all likelihood never wear again. NO! N-O. It is a complete sentence.
how about the commitment phobes?
My beloved niece. Most wonderful person. Everybody wants to be her friend. She is a teacher, so she is off right now. Her Christmas pressie for me,will be to bring 3 teens over to help get house in order, [long story, sort of a one off.] This is a wonderful thing. It has been a week, nothing like a date. she has to ask teens, Will let me know. Maybe tomrrow....