Friends and boundaries and getting used
How do you draw the line with people when you start to feel like they are using you? Let me also say that I am pretty much a always a 'yes' person. If someone asks for my help, I give it. It's bitten me in the ass before and gotten me over worked, but mostly I just enjoy helping people when I can. I typically offer to do things when I see that they need to be done, without being asked.
My friends don't return that attitude. For a small example... we go to shows together... I clean everyone's stall b/c I have time while they ride etc and I am at the stalls. Next time around they pick their horses and leave mine. I loan tack, fly spray, grooming stuff, hell I have even loaned my horses to people for certain things (like PC ratings) with no more than a casual thank you... And it's like ALL THE TIME.
I talked to my sister, who said I should know what I want to make it feel like is a fair 'give and take' and be willing to ask for help. It's not something specific though... It's just a general feeling that I am getting taken advantage of.
I'm used to doing everything for myself, so asking for help isn't my thing. Plus, I do so much without ever even being asked... I honestly feel like I shouldn't have to!
I'm getting depressed about it... feeling like the people I think are my friends aren't really... they just like my big trailer, nice horses and friendly willingness to loan it all out. Worse yet, I feel like the relationships are built on this dynamic and changing myself means the end of what I had felt like were good friendships.