Protecting parent from losing estate to unscrupulous sibling
This is long and involves many issues surrounding geriatric care. Thank you in advance for reading.
Aside from being a suspected undiagnosed NPD and BPD, I've recently become aware a sibling stole my half of my long-deceased mother's estate from me. Long story short, it was 7+ years ago and I'm unable to do anything about it now. But my father is geriatric and that same sibling is living at his house for drastically reduced board, and already I can see positioning herself to do the same with my father. Father was dx'd with Parkinson's some 4 years ago, but sibling has lived there for some 10 years+. Initially, it was so sibling could "save money for their own house again". But if you ask now, it's always been because dad 'needed the caretaker'.
I'm already documenting like a banshee.. dad needs someone to live in but hates the idea of a stranger, so it's mutually beneficial --for now. There's no doubt in my mind there will come a time dear sibling will actively neglect his needs instead of hire help. Because hiring help means there'll be less estate left for sibling. It's already happening, and there's a huge blow out whenever I pick up the slack.. because sibling sees that as a threat and an indication she's not entitled to the whole estate.
As it is, I am not being notified when sibling is absent overnights because sibling has it in her head *I* am stealing, when in fact I'm cleaning. I am the only thing standing between them and living in squalor. Sibling is actively neglecting the house so that it has less value (has stated so), and hence, less to pay out to me in the event of parent's demise. I've thrown out spoilt food dad is still eating, cleaned mouse droppings, cleared dust and cobwebs thicker than you'd find in a barn, among other things too gross to post publicly. I'm also being excluded from updates on dad's medical care, and, though sibling is stating extreme stress and huge inconvenience caring for dad and seeing his doctor with him, she's now not even telling me when he's got a doctor's appt, much less sharing info or accepting my offers of help to bring him to dr. visits. All this, so she can turn around and claim she's had sole responsibility for him as a caretaker, while in fact, she's (in my mind) taken advantage of him prior to his dx.
How do I protect my dad? There's a living trust in place that puts us both in charge of his finances as soon as he requests it. Sibling was pushing for this back in July, until I reminded her the financial decisions would then be shared between the both of us once he signed over the trust... and the topic dropped. Now I suspect she's just avoiding implementing the trust, and using intimidation instead.