Reflections of Widowhood (aka, what loosing my husband has taught me)
This isn't a woe is me thread, but as I lay awake tonight, thinking about the past five months, it struck me that I should share with y'all a few things I have learned:
1) Get a life insurance policy, and read the small print for it.
2) Get a Will - even if you are young.
3) if your job does not pay to Social Security, then you need to have 1. Even more.
4) Make your wishes known to someone, in writing. Death can bring out the crazy in people, so writing down what songs you want played, or if you want an open or closed casket will go far in decreasing family squabbles.
5) Take pictures. Often. The pictures I have of my husband are priceless, and are the only thing my 22 month old has to remember her Daddy by.
6) Save your cards and letters to each other. Even a post-it note on the fridge could be a priceless memory one day.
7) Realize that some things really don't matter. Tired of picking up his boxers or putting the toilet lid down? You may be missing it one day.
8) A few things not to say to a widow: (that have all been said to me)
"They're in a better place". (Yes, in our case he is, but that doesn't make me miss him any less)
"God has a plan." (Agreed, but not something you tell a grieving person)
"Are you better now" (You get better from colds, not from being a widow)
"Why would you want to keep that?" (Because throwing it out is too painful right now)
"I know just how you feel. We just had to put our dog down." (???)
"We'll, life goes on." (Yes it does, but sometimes I feel like I'm standing still.)
9) Treat everyone as if its the last time you will ever see them. One day you may be right.
10) The first few weeks after a death, the family gets plenty of support, but know that the hardest time for grieving parents, kids and spouses is a few months after their loss.