It wouldn't be Off Topic Day with out the is my spouse cheating thread right??
Or is there already another one out there already??
Ok so here is the scenario. I am desperately in love with DH and I am worried that it clouds my judgement. We have a 3 year old and I have a 8 year old that lives with us full time. He is a wonderful dad to both. He is sweet and loving to me. Our sex life has been down since I had the baby. (TMI sorry! ) but all in all we live a happy life.
Issue one is I have been lied to and deceived over the years by HIM. He was in the military and had a minor drug issue ( I'm talking mostly pot here...really minor). He promised me not to while enlisted because a dishonorable discharge would have ruined our lives. I did not live with him while he was enlisted. He would go out with friends and about a month later he would tell me he had to do a system cleanse because of an up coming drug test or would let slip about being high. We would have a huge fight he would tell me he forgot his promise and it would never happen again. This happened maybe 3 times.
When he came home he was really bad ( PTSD...) we had fights I told him to leave. I had very strict "Rules" regarding pot in the house and around the kids etc. While he has been good about not being high when the kids are up there have been many slip ups over the last four years ( not involving the kids! ) if he promised only once on the weekends it would soon be four days before I knew it!
It's always the same story "I'm so sorry I forgot the promise it will never happen again." The most recent was two weeks ago. the only thing that kept me from leaving was that my horse almost died and he was my pillar of strength.
So now comes the cheating issue. A few months ago our dog got in the garbage. When I cleaned it up there was an opened condom. I called him freaking out because we don't use them. I didn't freak out at him but I was freaked. We had no friends over recently and I asked about it. He claimed he had no idea. I totally forgot about it until about 3-4 weeks ago there was a condom wrapper sitting on my computer desk when we all came home from somewhere. I know it was out of his dresser drawer ( yes they are in there in case I forget the pill or something..but we hadn't used one in MONTHS) I think the cat found it somewhere and was carrying it around. However this doesn't change the where the heck did it come from!!!
He swears he hasn't cheated etc. Certainly not a chance at home but I'm not with him at work!
I have issues with this because I have been lied to before. Multiple times for that matter. Second is the random condoms don't bother him. He says his peace and never thinks about it again! Third is that he has been very accommodating. I have been in a depression and haven't done squat around the house. Normally he would be having fits by now and he's not. It could be because he hasn't been smoking pot on a regular basis but now I'm starting to feel like it's a "oh shit I better be nice to her thing"
I told him I find out he lies to me again and I am gone. I think I always forgive him to easily!
Anyways I am looking for outside opinions and thoughts as I am filled with anger right now but have no reason to not really believe him about cheating...