How to find sitters when your kid is a monster.
I'm recently divorced. Been apart from the XH 2 years now between separation and divorce. Went back to work full time about that time. Moved into a new home (but same neighborhood/school) 7 months ago. My job, which amounts to 4 weekdays, gets me home most nights around 6:15.
My DD's school lets out at 3, all the area aftercare programs only go until 6. I cannot get out of work earlier. So, I've relied on sitters--either picking up DD from school, and now lately picking her up later at aftercare. I had a nanny that helped out A LOT in her early years--she stayed with us 4 years until she moved away. In the 1.5 years since, we've now gone through 5 sitters. Three of those have been in the last 6 months. There has always been some reason (got into a school program, etc), but this last one--who picked up my daughter THREE times total (it was her first week on the job) quit today apologizing that she just couldn't handle my DD.
So now I'm wondering how much/if that's been a factor previously and I just wasn't told that.
I'm not blind to my kid's problems. She's spirited and intense and wide open. Add the divorce, my back to work, and now a revolving door of sitters, and the negative aspects of those traits are compounded. I see that she's quicker to anger and become frustrated. She has a harder time de-escalating. She's developed a sometimes sassy rebuttal to discipline. It's not great, and we are actually working with the school counselor (with me she's actually improved greatly these last few weeks). In the meantime, though, I'm at the end of my rope with what to do. I see this only spiraling further and further south. Having said all this--she's not really a monster, she's a 6 year old kid having to deal with a lot of shit that is out of her control. She's smart and funny and creative and loves just as intensely as all her other emotions.
So how the Hell do I find a sitter for a challenging situation? I certainly can't quit my job, I can't leave any earlier (and as a vet when emergencies happen I'm not always in control of when I'm done for the day anyway), and I have no family. I feel like with the right person we could all flourish, but for every one that doesn't work out we make the situation worse and worse.
For what it's worth, I pay well (the area's going rate, plus I always round up), so it's not that.
Thanks for letting me vent. If anyone has any helpful guidance please lay it on me. I've been crying all night.