Holding onto old "stuff"?
I went back and forth between posting this under an alter, then figured, the heck with it.
I've been purging our house in prep for our big move after the holidays. DH has a bunch of totes in the garage without labels. When I called him to ask what they were, he responded with "stuff from Iraq", so I've been avoiding them.
I got to the garage yesterday, and dragged one of them into the living room, it weighed about a million pounds and when I opened it, it was full of pictures, letters, old jelwery, etc from his ex-wife and old girlfriends.
I knew that he kept his old wedding ring and a picture in the bottom of his closet organizer, but I wasn't prepared for this!
I always threw out everything after a break-up, even if it wasn't a horrible relationship. His first marriage was AWFUL and lasted about 4 years. I asked him if he wanted me to throw it away and he got really defensive, but the lid back on the box, and took it back out to the garage. He then refused to talk about it again. When he came back in I told him I wasn't going to push it that night, but I did want to talk about it again, because it bothered me.
I really am not okay with carrying around 40 pounds of ex-women forever, and I don't think that it's really mentally healthy for him to be hanging onto that much stuff. I don't know how to bring it up again in a way that won't start a fight. He doesn't have any contact with any of them and he doesn't really ever bring them up.
He's a wonderful husband and father, and I'm not insecure in our marriage in the least. Maybe I'm overreacting, but that was A LOT of stuff. I was okay with the ring and picture in a baggie, but I'm really not okay with a whole tote full of wedding pictures, love letters, etc.
I don't think that he lied about it, because there were three other boxes full of Iraq stuff that I don't mind hauling around.
Should we talk to a marriage counsler? Should I just not bring it up again and put the bin to the back of my mind? Should I just prepare myself for an epic fight?