"Winning" when you deserve it versus "Holding Back"???
On the weekend we went to see a friend's daughters hockey game. She and her team mates are in their mid teens.
The game was VERY one sided to put it mildly. One team scored 25 goals in the 3 periods and the other team - 1 goal. It was truly a bloodbath in every sense of the word.
One team is better coached and has regular ice time for practices. The other team doesnt. One team has a regular goalie - the other team pulls one of the girls each game, sticks goalie equipment on her and puts her in net.
At the end of the first period when it was 10-0, the convener of the series went to the coach of the leading team and asked him to tell his girls to not score any more goals - to just practice passing and technique and finesse, etc. The coach refused to do so
It was getting VERY vocal in the arena at this point with the winning team's parents muttering "poor losers" and the losing team's friends and parents saying how awful it was that the opposing team continued to de-moralize THEIR girls and it wasnt fair and it showed disgusting behaviour all the way round. And that this was supposed to be a FUN tournament to teach the girls sportsmanship and for them to have fun.
I didnt say much - it was one of those very heated situations and lose/lose all the way round, but over dinner afterwards I did liken it to the equestrian industry where some riders have the benefit of very nice horses, virtually unlimited funds, excellent coaching, the ability to ride every day of the week, the availability of other horses for them to ride and practice on if they choose to do so and other riders competing against them in the exact same classes, NOT having the benefit of all of those factors to help them along and yet they still do manage to hold their own. And how I couldnt even fathom going up to a winning junior rider's coach or mother/father and asking them to please ask Susie to not ride her best in the next few shows as she was already Champion at the last 20 and it was only fair that she give the other kids a chance to win some classes as they were getting demoralized and talking about giving up riding if Susie always beat them
I dont know. Is there a "right" and "wrong" to this debate? Ive always entered a competition with the sole goal of winning. Not for "practice" and not "for fun" but by knowing I was 100% prepared and I was fully capable of winning if everything went my way. And there is no use bemoaning that someone else won more than I did because they had more money, or more practice time or better coaches - you either suck it up and work harder or find a way to GET better horses and coaching (working student positions, etc) or you accept the fact that you will never beat Susie and quit whining.
In closing, I look at a rider like Eric Lamaze who came from as far down the ladder as one could come. He had no money, no connections, no good horses or coaches. He was literally starting at Square "0" with a lot of baggage to boot. And yet look at him today so for anyone that says it ISNT possible, Im sure there are several other "Eric's" out there to hold up as prime examples why it IS possible if you want it badly enough ...
Agree or disagree? Should the winning hockey coach have told his girls to back off and let the other team score some goals to make them "feel better" about themselves? :)