Anybody else irrationally anxious about stupid things (happy update post 44)
Right now in my head, I'm having an argument between going out to the barn and not wanting to leave the house.
My head says, "You love your horses. You're happy at the barn. You like your BO. You're not afraid to drive. You're NOT afraid to ride. Get the hell OUT THERE!"
Yet my body, in particular my arms (how weird is that?), just screams with tension. I feel like a rabbit in the headlights and I'm losing the battle again :cry:
The really stupid thing is, once I can break through the anxiety on a regular basis, I'm fine. For crying out loud, I used to show all over WI, IL, IA and even went as far as KHP. I moved to NoVA sight unseen, with less than $500 to my name. I hauled my cats and all my worldly possessions in my horse trailer (which has since been sold to Texas) and backed that thing up IN the assigned parking spot in front of my rented townhouse in a single shot. I AM capable. I DO know what I'm doing!
I want to spend time with my horses again. They've been a constant source of joy when all else has gone to pot. I don't want to sit in my cozy apartment all the time. A friend keeps inviting me to fun horsey things and I really do want to go, but thinking about actually doing it freaks me out.
So why am I such a basket case chicken shit now?
I do have a prescription for Ativan that I take only when I really need to chill (like after thinking the building was coming down on me during the earthquake :rolleyes:). They work nicely except that I get extremely drowsy and should NOT drive, particularly on Rt 15/50. I just took one :sigh:
Anybody go through anything similar? What helped??