How do you know when it's time to throw in the towel?
I am just frustrated right now, and I think I may just need to face reality. I might not be a horse person anymore. And that makes me want to cry.
I feel like I have all the ingredients to finally make my horse dreams a reality, except I have totally lost my passion for it. I have been taking lessons with a trainer I really like and we are progressing well. My horse is well suited for the discipline (reining) and we have a great group of people at the barn that share our interests. I have fun when I ride, but that is honestly the only time that I would say I appreciate my horse. I spend all other hours of the day dreading going to the barn, and wishing instead that I could stay home and have a quiet dinner with my husband and kiddos followed by a nice stroll around town with the dogs. Or fretting about the ridiculous amount of money I am parting with each month. The worst was last week when the chiropractor came out and we found out we have saddle fitting issues on BOTH of our horses, even though we have made an honest effort to buy saddles that were supposed to fit them. Sigh. It feels like my effort is never enough.
I hate to quit though. I am not a quitter. I keep thinking I'll find the right combination to make myself enjoy this again. I am currently signed up for 2 clinics this spring/summer. Hubby and I have also planned a 3 day trail riding getaway in June. These are things I have enjoyed so much in the past, but now I just see a lot of time away from the kids and a bunch of work.
I am a runner and enjoy doing that more than the horses at this point in life. I can pop the kiddos in the jogging stroller, and sometimes hubby and I will spend a Friday evening taking the family on a long run. I love that we are able to share that experience together. :-) It is so peaceful, and we can go out for an hour and be done. No muddy pasture, no dusty arena, no expensive equipment, and best of all ... no saddle fitting. :lol:
Has anyone else been here? Did you just step away? Have a long, hard real look at the reality of the situation? I am not a negative person in general, but I just feel like I am making a desperate attempt to hang onto a dream when my heart tells me I am one bad ride from walking away from the whole thing.