Hunter Without A Hunt

[Conecuh]

Hello Foxhunt Forum,

Foxhunting has been the center of my life for a long time. Unfortunately, I have recently resigned from my hunt due to "differences of opinion over management style."

So I'm wondering if others have had an unpleasant departure from their hunt, what they did for an afterlife, and whether they figured out how to counteract malicious masters circulating rumors and bad-mouthing them around the hunting community.

Also, if you have had this experience, and are not close enough to another hunt to hunt regularly, have you been able to keep your ties in the hunting community by visiting when you can, and capping around? Is this working out for you, or do you feel like (and get treated like) an outsider because you are not a member with a hunt?

Conecuh

[Beverley]

Ah, the joys of hunt politics are something I don't miss at all, living now in a huntless state.:cool: When I left the hunt with which I no longer wished to be associated, I simply went to another nearby hunt of my choice. The rumors, I mainly laughed about, they were spread far and wide by two particular individuals known to not let the facts get in the way of a good story!

I live at least an 8 hour drive from the nearest hunt, but do manage to cap around now and then, and happily have invites all over the world that I have in mind when I count frequent flier miles. So no, not being a member doesn't make me feel like an outsider, in fact I seem to be a guest whipper-in more often than I would have expected.

[promlightshine]

I'm relatively new to hunting. However, the politics in any club or organization are often what destroys them or prompts membership to leave. If the leadership in your former hunt finds others take the same path as you , you may resume hunting with them in a year or so with limited involvement .

I would have NO concerns about riding with another hunt. Take the high road and don't get involved with the gossip and the revealing of "dirty little secrets".

If you ride to hunt, then your love of the sport will help you get over the initial trepidation. Enjoy those hounds!

[J Swan]

I've always been treated like the red headed stepchild - so I just learned to let go of my attachment to wanting to feel like part of the group. Now I just show up, mount up, ride, and go home. If there is gossip or rumors or other worthless drivel going on behind my back - I just let it go in one ear and out the other. If folks think that I'm that important that they need to talk about me - I figure they need to get a life.

If you enjoy hunting with dogs/hounds, and there is no mounted English style hunt near you, have you thought about taking up a different sport? Lots of folks follow on foot, or have bird dogs, or hunt their own hounds. (see my post on issues with hound training - though I'm an idiot I'm thoroughly enjoying working with my own dog).

Just a thought. If you're interested, I'm sure folks here could help you find something. I ordered some stuff from a site called gundogsonline - and there were all sorts of links for hunting with dogs.

[wateryglen]

Been there, done that! It's a major way of life for us Virginians with our high concentration of hunts! We practice the "after life" in a big way around here! Everytime there's a master change, huntsman change or even a fieldmaster change; there's members who leave and go to another hunt. I can't tell you how many former members of my first hunt I run into at the other hunts! EVERY hunt goes through this every few years. Different factions seem to come to power and there's always somebody who leaves. But we are oh so lucky! There's LOTS of wonderful hunts to join/experience in our area. Lots of opportunities to guest or attend their activities. It's WONDERFUL! All the fun with out the work, politics, involvement. There are a # of professional guests in our area and I say why not! If that's what floats your boat. Do it! Smile a lot, turnout well, be a good guest and you'll always be welcome! Support the activities of those hunts you like. You're gonna find that there are wonderful people in every hunt! Oh yeah...and some snobs or others less likable but mostly the hunting community are great, great people with open arms!

But many of us long for that higher level of comraderie & socialization that comes with membership and working elbow to elbow with people we like. Many of us long for becoming familiar with a pack or a huntsman or a territory. So for them, joining IS the answer. Earning your colors with another hunt IS something to be proud of! Go for it! Perhaps you'll learn that there may be a price to pay for a higher level of involvement in a hunt ie: political pain. But that work can be rewarding! So maybe you'll be less involved in your next hunt. Pull back a little. No guilt! Support, do your share ,but don't have high expectations. People can let you down sometimes! What's that saying about what happens when you have 3 adults in a room? Politics?!! :winkgrin:

Personally, I've always admired most those foxhunters who've spent a lifetime in their one hunt. How did they do it? Ask them! Remember it's your choice to any level of involvement. Don't over think it! Just go hunting! With whomever, wherever you can. Lifes too short! Our hunting years are too precious! We won't always have a good fieldhunter to carry us! We won't always have our health!

Yessiree, been here , done that! :D

[Conecuh]

... The rumors, I mainly laughed about, they were spread far and wide by two particular individuals known to not let the facts get in the way of a good story!

I ...do manage to cap around now and then, and happily have invites all over the world ...not being a member doesn't make me feel like an outsider, in fact I seem to be a guest whipper-in more often than I would have expected.

Thanks for the encouraging words. I was heavily involved as a whipper-in for years, so I will definitely miss the staff-type involvement, but like you, I have invitations from all over, so maybe I'll just try to take a couple of trips a year and get my "fix" that way.

What do you think was the final result of the rumor-mongering ... did people pretty much figure out that they needed to "consider the source?"

Conecuh

[Conecuh]

[QUOTE=wateryglen;2427938]...many of us long for that higher level of comraderie & socialization that comes with membership and working elbow to elbow with people we like. Many of us long for becoming familiar with a pack or a huntsman or a territory. So for them, joining IS the answer. Earning your colors with another hunt IS something to be proud of! ...! Just go hunting! With whomever, wherever you can. Lifes too short! Our hunting years are too precious! We won't always have a good fieldhunter to carry us! We won't always have our health!

You are soooo right on all counts. I have a lot of friends in VA hunts, so I know whereof you speak. At least ya'll have enough density that you have some alternatives.

Whipping in for a number of years, I loved knowing the hounds, the territory and the game so well. You can't recapture that by capping around, or joining a new hunt. But you gotta go with what gives you the most peace of mind, I reckon.

[justhanginon]

What part of the country are you in ?

[Conecuh]

[QUOTE=promlightshine;2427490]...If the leadership in your former hunt finds others take the same path as you , you may resume hunting with them in a year or so with limited involvement .

...Take the high road and don't get involved with the gossip and the revealing of "dirty little secrets". ..

QUOTE]

I have vowed to never bad-mouth my old hunt (no matter how deserved ;) and suggested to the leadership of my old hunt that they reciprocate. Unfortunately, the courtesy has not been returned.

The first point you make ... that hunts "learn" from their bad behavior ... raises an interesting question. With a large hunt (long history, turnover of leadership, multiple masters) I could definitely imagine that the organization evolves, or at least goes through cycles.

But can anyone think of an example where a small hunt with a single master ever become anything better than what it was, as an organization? I'd be really interested in everyone's take on the degree to which a more-or-less private pack can evolve into a self-sustaining organization, or is it pretty much doomed to live or die on that one person's whim?

Conecuh

[justhanginon]

I hunt with a great small private pack and a lovely group of people. While I am sure the benefits of a big club are great, there are a lot of fixtures that we can hunt that the big hunts can't. For lots of reasons, ie the big hunts have ticked off a couple of landowners for one reason or another and there are just a few of us (under 10-12) trooping through property as opposed to 30 or 40 horses. We have a great time, great hounds and very little drama !

[Beverley]

What do you think was the final result of the rumor-mongering ... did people pretty much figure out that they needed to "consider the source?"

Oh, pretty much. It's not a complete day in Virginia Hunt Country without at least one outrageous rumor! ;)

[Conecuh]

I hunt with a great small private pack and a lovely group of people. While I am sure the benefits of a big club are great, there are a lot of fixtures that we can hunt that the big hunts can't. For lots of reasons, ie the big hunts have ticked off a couple of landowners for one reason or another and there are just a few of us (under 10-12) trooping through property as opposed to 30 or 40 horses. We have a great time, great hounds and very little drama !

Sounds idyllic. I have often thought about how much fun it would be to get a small pack together with a small group of friends, and form a farmer's pack.

Where are you located?

[justhanginon]

I am in Maryland. Where are you ?

[Conecuh]

I am in Maryland. Where are you ?

TN unfortunately

[LexInVA]

What area of TN are you in?

[justhanginon]

Oh bummer, I am sure you would love our little group. I am sure you'll find your way where you are. Everything in my life seems to happen for a reason.

[wateryglen]

I absolutely agree with the cyclic nature of hunts/memberships/masters/staffs etc. Even hound breeds for crying out loud! :eek: Full american packs become crossbred or PMD or english and vice versa. Lotsa crossbred packs these days.

And I have seen what have been mostly private packs improve with a broadening of their organizations. Sometimes those MFH's are actually glad to have others step up to the plate. They get tired! Sometimes all it takes is a strong club president or another mfh. Or an additional source of funds even. I think it's a double edged sword to be entirely dependent on a single owner or master or landowner. There are pros & cons to really small hunts and huge hunts. Some are more socially oriented than others which might not have any social life but only hunt.

And yes, Conecuh, I suspect it IS harder for a whip to get "displaced" than us mere mortals. You gave so much and worked so hard to provide folks like me a great hunting experience. Thank you for that! :yes: There's probably a LOT of emotion & time involvement it's hard to walk away from easily. But you might just enjoy riding with us in the back of the field, smiling, chatting (woops did I just say that!!??!!:cool: ), watching & knowiing what's going on out there. No pressure! Time to bring along that greenie! No need to hunt when the footing/weather is awful. You can stay in bed!! Go in when you want! No need to keep horsies mega fit, bla, bla, bla!!! And often, your next hunt will welcome you with open arms as a formerly proven hunt person and might offer you a job after a season or 2. Happens lots around here!!!

[Conecuh]

... I have seen what have been mostly private packs improve with a broadening of their organizations. ... I think it's a double edged sword to be entirely dependent on a single owner or master or landowner. ...
And yes, Conecuh, I suspect it IS harder for a whip to get "displaced" than us mere mortals. You gave so much and worked so hard to provide folks like me a great hunting experience. Thank you for that! :yes: There's probably a LOT of emotion & time involvement it's hard to walk away from easily. But you might just enjoy riding with us in the back of the field, smiling, chatting (woops did I just say that!!??!!:cool: ), watching & knowiing what's going on out there. No pressure! Time to bring along that greenie! No need to hunt when the footing/weather is awful. You can stay in bed!! Go in when you want! No need to keep horsies mega fit, bla, bla, bla!!! And often, your next hunt will welcome you with open arms as a formerly proven hunt person and might offer you a job after a season or 2. Happens lots around here!!!

Wateryglen, thank you so much for your post! It gives me hope in several ways! And yes, it has entered my mind that if I hook up with a hunt in a less involved way, I can take the youngster out and let him learn, take the oldster out and just relax, and actually socialize instead of being off somewhere having to pay utmost attention all the time. Hmmm ... sounds like fun. (Imagine that.)

[Foxhunt4me]

Well good luck with that. We have had quite an upheaval in this area, in the last 3 years we have gone from 3 hunts to only 1. When the hunt I was whipping in with closed up shop 2 years ago , I took the next season off ( 2005-2006 ) and completely enjoyed it. I made new horse friends and started doing other activities with organized trail riding. Didn't miss foxhunting much at all especially on those mornings when only staff would have been present! This past season I joined a hunt I left 4 years ago and I discovered that you cant go back home - people change, staff changes etc.

Right now my plan is to hang up the hunt gear and call it quits for good and not join next season - its not worth the time and expense the fuss and the politics and B.S. for me to foxhunt anymore.

I had 8 good seasons and a lot of good times but I think that I have changed and maybe the other people have changed and its just no fun anymore. Maybe a more time off and I will get a hankering to go back , who knows?

I unsubscribed from FOL and Topica and the Yahoo hunt lists a few months ago and will probably be an infrequent visitor to this board, but there are other topics here on COTH that are interesting to read about.

So best of luck to you and I hope you find good times in whatever you set out to do in the future.

[wateryglen]

OMG! Foxhunt4me - you can't!! You're one of my favorite posters! We need you around!! Please don't give up the baby for the bathwater (or however that goes!). You've always been so wise......

Just do this! Hunt just a few times a year. High Holy Days when the crowds are large and you'll get lost in the midst & socializing!! AND they'll be feeding you!!! :winkgrin: Don't take it all too seriously - the hunting I mean. Don't be harsh on them. Just smile & care less!! Don't talk to the people you don't like! Don't even look at them. Conduct yourself with dignity & class and those folks will envy you! Nothing drives folks crazier than success!!! Enjoy the day with your horse, enjoy the land, the sounds, the houndwork. Go home immediately afterward if it's too painful. Separate the hunting from "the hunt". Or you may prefer the hugely unattended bye day/awful weather day hunting to get your fix. Try carfollowing! Then you can drink coffee, eat donuts and be as snarky as you want from the seat of your truck!! (who me? NEVER done that!!) and leave when you want without the problems of horsie/dress etc. This is especially fun with a good friend!

Too many people get the "hunt" (the organization/people) confused with "hunting" and if they hate one they assume they have to hate the other. Not true......

Try another kind of hunting - foot packs, coon hunting, deer hunting, something with hound dogs!!! Go to the pound, get a few beagles and have at it!! Please don't leave us Foxhunt!!

[Foxhunt4me]

Hey Watery thanks for the nice words. I pretty much did what you suggested this season.

As far as capping - the hunt here does not allow capping or visitors on high holy hunts like opening and closing etc - only subscribed members ( or of course people that the MFH has invited ) . But other than that yes, I suppose I could cap now and again to get a fix if I wanted it. They would probably gripe if I wore my colors though since I am not paid up - I wonder what the protocol for that is ? Actually I still have on my colors from a now defunct pack as my red coat was custom made and I had them put on when it was made.

Anyhow I will see what happens.

As far as car following - thats really not fun at all for me I did it for a while when I had horse problems - it was a bit depressing :-) .

There is not a lot of hunting with hounds here - no beagle or bassett packs and just a few night hunters that go for coon and I really do not fit into that 'culture' ! LOL .

Dont want to hijack the thread from this person. Private messages are OK or email me at: platteriverrider@earthlink.net if you wish to chat.

[Conecuh]

... When the hunt I was whipping in with closed up shop 2 years ago , I took the next season off ( 2005-2006 ) and completely enjoyed it. I made new horse friends and started doing other activities with organized trail riding. Didn't miss foxhunting much at all ...I joined a hunt I left 4 years ago and I discovered that you cant go back home ...my plan is to hang up the hunt gear and call it quits for good and not join next season - its not worth the time and expense the fuss and the politics and B.S. for me to foxhunt anymore. ...
I unsubscribed from FOL .

You sound like me. I haven't unsubbed from FOL yet, I am pretty nearly a charter member. But I also haven't participated since I resigned from my old hunt. I just communicate privately with my friends from there, and observe from afar. The further I get from my former hunt, the more ridiculous it looks and the more amazed I am that I put up with the BS for so long. All in the name of hunting.

I do miss the hounds and the hunting, but I think it is impossible to separate it from the people. And I packed away the red coat, although I guess I should just send it up to Middleburg Tack Ex ... I doubt I'll ever have it on again.

I'm refocusing on eventing, but dang, I'll miss the actual hunting.

Conecuh

[J Swan]

Say it isn't so, you two!

Don't give up hunting - please. Pretty please. Why not hunt your own hound? I can't tell you how much fun I'm having with my beagle. No - you can't have her.

If you want to take a break - that's ok. All the hunt politics make me sick too - all I want to do is watch the hounds work and ride my horse. I understand.

But I hate the thought of the sport losing two great people - please reconsider.

[Oscar&Beanie]

I am an ex-MFH who was *really* involved with my hunt...... my husband was huntsman, my son 1st whipper-in, and we had the pack at our farm for several years. We did everything for the hunt and I have to admit it was a huge under-taking. The good times were incredible, but the bad times were terrible.. ripped your guts and your heart out. Our hunt sadly hit the skids due to financial reasons, loss of members and a territory struggle with another local hunt, which remains a sore point. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done to find my hounds new homes and to finally shut everything down.
But I survived it, and have my own small pack of Bassets which I can hunt whenever I want. I also have lots of good friends in different parts of the world where I can go and have a good time... I hunted in Ireland this past January and it was the thrill of my hunting life so far. I also started eventing -not at all a replacement for hunting but a fun thing to do and good to upgrade your over-all skills.
My advice ? Travel around if you can. Go to other hunts, enjoy the people and the territory. Try new horse sports ... you might really like something different. But don't give up on the hunting community because of your unhappy experiences. You will feel much better with time and distance.
Good luck !

[Conecuh]

I am an ex-MFH who was *really* involved with my hunt...... my husband was huntsman, my son 1st whipper-in, and we had the pack at our farm for several years. We did everything for the hunt and I have to admit it was a huge under-taking. The good times were incredible, but the bad times were terrible.. ripped your guts and your heart out. Our hunt sadly hit the skids due to financial reasons, loss of members and a territory struggle with another local hunt, which remains a sore point. It was one of the hardest things I have ever done to find my hounds new homes and to finally shut everything down.
But I survived it, and have my own small pack of Bassets ...My advice ? Travel around if you can.Good luck !

Good encouraging words.

Its a lot of work to keep up a hunt. I don' think that many people who take it on really understand how much work it is, and how relentless.

I'd love to get a few neighbors together and hunt just locally as a farmer pack, but the politics run deep, and my local area is a bit questionable. I think that the hunt that registers it has abandoned the territory, but I'm not a 100% certain.

I think we could have a lot of fun with may 4 1/2 couple or so, just locally.

Conecuh

[armandh]

even so there is dissent
[there were two, before that there was one, and that revolt was B4 my time] I was on the board this century when the 2 hunts [re]joined forces. the most recent divisions were over moving the hunt 35 miles. our former home territory is going to subdivisions. http://www.pbase.com/lesliegra/image/40752514
some would rather have stayed to the end but the board with approval of a vast majority of the members traded up from 142 acres in the midst of development to 1375 acres in a rural setting. several dropped out, several are still mad, but several new members as well. all total, membership is a net gain. since it is impossible to please everyone, in our case, the masters did what is best for hunting, just survival in some other form would not do and still remain true to out hunting history. the new owner of our old club grounds is a horse person [polo] and owns/has saved the old club grounds and parts of our old territories from the developers. he is letting us use the ring there for our annual horse show.

honest disagreement is ok BUT
two things that will get a hunt member out the door in the blink of an eye are actions which threaten the hunt or its relations with the land owners. one goes forth here at their own peril.

[Erin]

SnowPrincess, Oscar&Beanie, take it outside and don't inflict your personal disputes on the rest of us, please. A public BB isn't the place.

[Foxhunt4me]

Not trying to bash anyone, but the exchanges here are a perfect example to the person not familiar with hunt politics of what happens ! People get attached to the sport and wrapped up in it, that given that a high percentage of people in foxhunting are type A personalities and Leaders with strong opinions you get a lot of conflict that blows up.

[J Swan]

Which is why a full flask is a boon.

Not trying to bash anyone, but the exchanges here are a perfect example to the person not familiar with hunt politics of what happens ! People get attached to the sport and wrapped up in it, that given that a high percentage of people in foxhunting are type A personalities and Leaders with strong opinions you get a lot of conflict that blows up.

[Foxhunt4me]

Thou hast told the truth.

[wateryglen]

:lol: Well......THAT and a sense of humor!! God we all sometimes take ourselves too seriously!!! Life's too short!! Laugh!!!
I love....adore.....worship.....funny people!

[gkittredge]

Hunt drama is always around us. We should embrace and name it. What would hunting be without, controversy, disagreements, affairs and turmoil? So in keeping with daytime drama:

As the World Turns
All My Children
General Hospital
One Life to Live

These become

As the Horn Calls
All My Hounds
All My Foxes
Hunting Hospital
One Coop to Crest

Suggestions? A little contest perhaps?

[J Swan]

Affairs? People have affairs? Good God - even if I was interested - who has the time? The energy? Geez.... I'm so naive. One man is more than enough - thank you very much.

Let's see..... daytime drama.

Foxhunters Court - Why did she get colors and I didn't? Discrimination!

CSI - Middleburg. DNA testing on horse manure reveals shady dealings on a horse sale - guest star - Paris Hilton.

Secrets of the Paranormal - Team of pyschics determine that area fox is actually named "Charlie", and he prefers hot dog laced Ivermectin over chicken necks.

Hunting, She Wrote - While researching a book on serial killers, Rita Mae Brown discovers that a local farmer's pack is hunting on another hunt's territory; mayhem, murder and mud flinging ensues. (Note - writers may team up with CSI and Foxhunter's Court for a joint made for tv movie)












Hunt drama is always around us. We should embrace and name it. What would hunting be without, controversy, disagreements, affairs and turmoil? So in keeping with daytime drama:

As the World Turns
All My Children
General Hospital
One Life to Live

These become

As the Horn Calls
All My Hounds
All My Foxes
Hunting Hospital
One Coop to Crest

Suggestions? A little contest perhaps?

[wateryglen]

As the Gossip Churns!?

The Old and the Beautiful (talking about the horses of course! ) Members version is The Old & the Decrepit!

The Young & the Breastless (junior members have cliques and hang out together at hunts & gossip about how fat the old ladies are and "like just HOW did SHE get HER colors before YOU did Brittany!??!!" ;) )

The Fidgety & the Restless (mostly green fieldhunters clique)

[southern rider]

Not that this has become entertaining, but to get back on the subject of the original post ... I have a friend going through the exact same thing, however, she didn't quit, she was kicked out for telling the truth. The hounds do not have proper kennels and serious lack of exercise, she protested, loudly, and out she went, she was a founder and a whip. She has lost every friend in the hunt, the hunt committee sent her a letter requesting that she no longer speak to any members. My friend cried for months, she loved those hounds dearly and to hunt was her life. I don't think she has even been on her horse since then. If you come up with any ideas or solutions, I'd love to pass them on to her, I tell her to go out with other hunts, but her horse is a whip horse and won't ride in the field. Let me know how you come around from this, she reads the forum also sometimes, maybe she'll read the posts. Unfortunately the cat fight at the end isn't going to do much for her opinion of hunting right now, but there were also some great encouraging words and ideas, and would like to hear some more. Thanks!

[J Swan]

I have no advice to offer. Just sympathy. If it helps - I'm pretty sure this type of barroom brawling happens in lots of clubs - not just hunt clubs. Country clubs, PTA's, even church groups. I'm sure some sociologist has written a book on clubs/group dynamics and analyzed everyone's potty training.

I just shut up and ride. Most of the time I don't even talk to anybody. If help is needed, I help. If I'm tasked to do something, I do it. I smile, am polite, and then I leave. It's no fun being snubbed 3 days a week.

I will never be eligible for colors - and therefore never a "real" member. So I just gave up on being accepted and just enjoy the sights and sounds of the hounds and countryside.

Not the best attitude - but perhaps a realistic one. I've discovered that even though we're all grown up - we often act like a bunch of kids in the sandbox.

Not that this has become entertaining, but to get back on the subject of the original post ... I have a friend going through the exact same thing, however, she didn't quit, she was kicked out for telling the truth. The hounds do not have proper kennels and serious lack of exercise, she protested, loudly, and out she went, she was a founder and a whip. She has lost every friend in the hunt, the hunt committee sent her a letter requesting that she no longer speak to any members. My friend cried for months, she loved those hounds dearly and to hunt was her life. I don't think she has even been on her horse since then. If you come up with any ideas or solutions, I'd love to pass them on to her, I tell her to go out with other hunts, but her horse is a whip horse and won't ride in the field. Let me know how you come around from this, she reads the forum also sometimes, maybe she'll read the posts. Unfortunately the cat fight at the end isn't going to do much for her opinion of hunting right now, but there were also some great encouraging words and ideas, and would like to hear some more. Thanks!

[wateryglen]

Southern; my heart goes out to your friend but....sometimes ya gotta just get over it!! Don't take it so seriously......we don't have to be accepted to be happy! Happy is internal and how we feel about ourselves! NOT what others think!! (wow...my antidepressants are really working today!!:winkgrin:) Sounds like a hunt worth losing too! And let them make me stop riding!!???? NO way! :mad:
oh and I don't buy that "oooo he's a whips horse and can't go in the field!!!..." stuff....:sadsmile:..All the rest of us hafta enter a fieldhunter sooner or later!!!.... and sometimes a long time staff horse may take more effort but that's just an excuse. I wonder if she only wants to hunt if she can be staff!! Well too bad!! Get over it!! Prove me wrong!! Join the group, smile, have fun, watch, listen, enjoy your sport!
Soapbox= sometimes former hunt staff find it hard to "return to their roots"!!! It's NOT a demotion!! Think less work, less chance of error, less pressure, less likely chance of having your ass chewed by an angry huntsman, bla, bla!!!
Oh, but her concern for the hounds is wonderful and well meaning but sometimes it can be misplaced or misinterpreted I suspect. That's too bad.

[southern rider]

Thanks for the advice, I told her to read this thread! I don't think she could give a damn about being accepted, the only thing she cared about were the hounds and hunting, damn the politics, that's what got her in so much trouble, she wanted things done right. I think what upset her was not seeing the hounds, and not being able to hunt. In her horses defense, he's upfront first flight, or staff, but he's a heck of a staff horse! She always said she would love to go from hunt to hunt and see every hunt territory and different hounds work and how different huntsman work also. Their huntsman only goes to the kennels once a week and that's what she protested about however too loudly although justifiably! I think that this fall, the bug will hit her again, and one way or another I'll see her out in someone's field, at least I hope so!
By the way ... do you share? I could use some of those anti-depressants over here, lol!
Thanks everyone for some great advice!

[rivenoak]

I usually title all horse gossip: "As The Spreader Turns" since most of it's poop anyhow. ;)

JSwan, why will you never be eligible for colors? That is an interesting concept to me. And, btw, good on ya for going out and doing your thing whether "they" are embracing you or not.

OP, I wish I wise words for you, but I don't. I'll just put out my offer to come visit us hunting folk in AZ this coming year. Our winters are SO nice!

[pegasusmom]

OP - just wandering through from Eventing where I have found a happy home post hunting. We hunted for a LONG time, earned colors from several hunts, whipped in, served on boards, I was hunt secretary, lived and breathed hunting. Was virtually a charter member of FOL. Never thought I'd see the day we would stop.

The hunt in our area simply doesn't float my boat, and after four years of not going out for various resaons I don't miss it at all. There is life after!

[J Swan]

I miss eventing. I have this free horse that I was really hoping to get out over the summer - but the Gods are conspiring against me. I evented before hunting - turns out the horse I evented loves hunting - never was thrilled with eventing. Note - we just did BN/Novice stuff - nothing fancy.

The free horse evented - doesn't hunt (loses his mind) - but he's an absolute crotch rocket - point him at anything solid - and his ears perk up and steam comes out his ears - and fire out his nostrils. Just stay outta his way and enjoy the ride. Wateryglen saw him yesterday when she visited - she drooled.

rivenoak - This hunt does not award colors or consider the member a "real" member unless they jump. Which I did for 2 seasons - then ran into some confidence trouble after a few falls - so I've been hilltopping and working back up to jumping (which I am - 3'3" courses with no trouble). But - the die is cast already since I'm really not conforming to the group.

Who cares - it's a fabulous pack of hounds whom I love dearly, walk 3 times a week, and think they're the best - and of course - the huntsman is a giant among us lesser mortals. You can't beat that combination!

For the OP - if hunting is out of the picture (for now, anyway), I'd recommend taking up eventing. There are adult rider teams which are great fun, there are schooling shows that are fantastic for getting into the sport - and the people - they are just as crazy as foxhunters. It's all good.

[Jaegermonster]

I have no advice to offer. Just sympathy. If it helps - I'm pretty sure this type of barroom brawling happens in lots of clubs - not just hunt clubs. Country clubs, PTA's, even church groups. I'm sure some sociologist has written a book on clubs/group dynamics and analyzed everyone's potty training.

I just shut up and ride. Most of the time I don't even talk to anybody. If help is needed, I help. If I'm tasked to do something, I do it. I smile, am polite, and then I leave.

Not the best attitude - but perhaps a realistic one. I've discovered that even though we're all grown up - we often act like a bunch of kids in the sandbox.

I pretty much agree. I have my colors (was staff in various capacities for years), and am now bringing along a young horse. I have a core group of about 10 people who get it that I grew close to early in my hunting career, and am still close to. I figure the rest really aren't worth worrying about (mostly fairweather people out for the socializing calling themselves hunters who won't stay the course for the long haul anyway).
After all, I don't know about you guys, but I'm there to hunt and watch the hounds. It's why I tried hunting and why I have stayed with it, not for the socializing and drama and backbiting. Isn't the hunting what it's about?

[J Swan]

Amen. In comparison I am very much a newcomer to foxhunting - but enjoy it purely for the hounds. Which is why I enjoy hunting on foot so much. Alas - once the weather/footing gets really bad I do tend to stay home though. If I was staff - that would be different - but since I have to stay at the very back of the hilltoppers - after a while I just end up birdwatching.

I pretty much agree. I have my colors (was staff in various capacities for years), and am now bringing along a young horse. I have a core group of about 10 people who get it that I grew close to early in my hunting career, and am still close to. I figure the rest really aren't worth worrying about (mostly fairweather people out for the socializing calling themselves hunters who won't stay the course for the long haul anyway).
After all, I don't know about you guys, but I'm there to hunt and watch the hounds. It's why I tried hunting and why I have stayed with it, not for the socializing and drama and backbiting. Isn't the hunting what it's about?

[infullcry]

I have read this post with great interest. I have watched many leave over the years. You make excuses as to why they left and can justify events and things said in a hunt/club to make them the "bad guys". However, in the end, the members , board and staff must look at themselves carefully and decide what they really want to promote.

Sometimes leaving is a way to point out the problem. If enough members stand up and say "hey, there's a problem and I can't stay " then it should be recognized. If there is only 1-2 then it's likely their own problem . Bit if everyone stays then they must accept the status quo.

I couldn't in our hunt. I understand. I miss the hounds terribly and I know with each hunt season my heart will be with them. But, the balance is my sanity, less negativity and not having to worry when unreasonable expectations meet reality.

[promlightshine]

Well, I guess not group or organization is perfect that's for sure. Refocus goals, spend time with family and friends, take fun trail rides and if you are like me, do a lot of reading. I've been enjoying sites from both sides of the pond.

In general , I have memories that I'll cherish forever-no need to stay in any hunt OP if you are going to have nightmares too.