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Chipngrace
Apr. 11, 2007, 11:03 PM
I've been wondering a while... anyone else?

I'm desperately trying to lose, and it's coming off slowly but I'm still overweight and I am aiming myself and my 11 year old mare towards a Beginner Novice horse trial at the end of the summer.

Will I be laughed out of the ring? Eventers don't seem "like that" the way hunter/jumper or strictly dressage riders would be. A few of the eventers at my barn are not sticks either, but definitely lighter than me. I've taken dressage lessons lately and really working on my lightness in the saddle, we also have Friday night jumping night where I've been getting help from some of the girls from the barn and we're doing fine as far as I know.

This is my mare and me, to get an idea... http://images115.fotki.com/v665/photos/2/22445/4209533/funshow037-vi.jpg

Thanks a bunch. Oh yeah, I got my Tipperary event vest in the mail today, and it fit, so that must be a good sign huh?

Lori
Apr. 11, 2007, 11:15 PM
I would hope no one would be so shallow as to laugh you out of the ring.

I had this happen to me once as a kid. I will never forget it, can still see it clearly and if I mentioned the name of the these riders who laughed at me, some might recognize them back in VA. They rode nice TB's in the hunters in the rival 4-H, I rode a big fat appy horse who would perform her heart out for me, even if she was not that pretty. I was the only one in my 4-H who braved doing the regular hunters. Well, imagine my delight as I pinned ABOVE one of them and got 2nd over fences (they always ruled the 1 and 2 place--and my delight was in pinning so high, not pinning over one of them). You should have seen their faces when the places were called. I went from feeling like crap (yes, they LAUGHED at me as I passsed them at the in-gate) to feeling like I accomplished something. I never rode the best of horses, so any ribbon was quite the treat!

Go ahead and compete. To youknowwhere with anyone who talks trash......

retreadeventer
Apr. 11, 2007, 11:37 PM
Your post has reminded me that I must get on the Ar2 Dietpool list. This is a group of eventers in Area II that diet together and help each other on a list. It's run by Yvonne Lucas and I think that if you google ar2 dietpool you may find it. I am going to join right now, too. It's a fun group and it really works, lots of them have fun and lose weight too, they have a good system.

JAGold
Apr. 11, 2007, 11:39 PM
Eventers are pretty welcoming :) It seems like you have good goals and plans to achieve them. Others may disagree, but I'd say that one good benchmark of whether or not you are ready to compete is whether you can hold yourself in two point (without balancing on the horse's neck) at a canter over the terrain common in your area for at least 5 minutes. After all, that is what you will be doing on an XC course!

(Note that it's easier to maintain two point at the canter than the walk or the trot, and that you do NOT need to be doing gallops of 5 minutes or longer for your horse's fitness at the BN level. I just think being able to maintain your two point for that long is a useful rider fitness check.)

Your mare is cute :) --Jess

SandraD
Apr. 11, 2007, 11:53 PM
I wouldn't worry about it. Your balance & fitness are more important. I've put on 40 pounds since having my thyroid removed. Would I like to weigh less, you betcha, but until I have more hours in the day to add in time at the gym, it's going to have to come off slowly. I've never had anyone be anything other than encouraging at an event. Go for it!

Here's me & I'm not afraid to post it.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v669/sandrads/Horse%20Stuff/Riley%20July/RileyTrot2.jpg

Reynard Ridge
Apr. 12, 2007, 07:46 AM
Your post has reminded me that I must get on the Ar2 Dietpool list. This is a group of eventers in Area II that diet together and help each other on a list. It's run by Yvonne Lucas and I think that if you google ar2 dietpool you may find it. I am going to join right now, too. It's a fun group and it really works, lots of them have fun and lose weight too, they have a good system.

:yes: I've lost nine pounds in six weeks (:D :D :D ) - three to go to goal. While not dramatically "overweight" I have been carrying around those 12 pounds for two and a half years (which oddly enough would be the EXACT age of my youngest child ;) ). Got on the A2 program and the support, information, and (ahem) competitive aspect of it kicked me into gear. I'll leave this group at the end (it's an 8 week cycle) and join the maintanance group. :yes:

Can't recommend it highly enough. :yes:

Jleegriffith
Apr. 12, 2007, 08:07 AM
I am about 40lbs overweight. I hate the fact that I have 40 extra lbs on me and that my horses have to carry it but I am in great physical shape. I workout every morning before I got to work on the treadmill combo of walking and running. I also lift weights on the hubby's new smith machine. I ride several horses a day and basic barn work. I have no trouble holding my two point, riding out for hours upon hours and just feel fit when I ride. I think my extra weight comes down to a desk job and simply not enough activity for my body I require at least a few hours of working out to lose anything. I think riding really doesn't count as working out because my body is so conditoned to it. I can ride 4-5 horses a day and not lose anything.

I find that eventers are very accepting overall. I know there are even a few top riders that are overweight Buck and Becky come to mind. They are both very effective riders and always are at the top of their divisions.

My recent goal is to push myself even harder during my workouts and I am thinking about buying an elliptical machine because I am getting bored with the treadmill.

lwk
Apr. 12, 2007, 08:10 AM
Well, I'm at least 25 lb. overweight, and I'm a veteran of the BN division. You'll be fine, don't worry.

Nitter_Pitter
Apr. 12, 2007, 08:16 AM
I'm so glad you brought this issue up. I have worked for a 3day barn for over 4 years now and they are the nicest people I've ever worked with. I used to ride HUS & H/j.....can't tell you how many snickers and stares I got. I'm heavy thanks to genetics but I also have a heavy muscle build from throwing hay (etc) and lunging babies that are always jerking on me. To find a well fitting hunt coat is a challenge because of my wide shoulders and I am, uh, blessed if you know what I mean. I know the way I've described myself must sound freakish but I'm not. LOL!
I just wanted to encourage you and say GO FOR IT!!!!

magnolia73
Apr. 12, 2007, 08:44 AM
I think the only discipline where judges are hard on the chunky is equitation. There are great hunter, jumpers and eventers who are heavy. I do think being fit is a big part of the equation- you better bet people like Buck Davidson and Becky Holder are as fit as their trimmer counterparts. The only place in eventing where you are judged is dressage, and in my brief experience, no dressage judge has ever made mention of my weight.

Honestly, the only thing that seems to bother eventers is stuff like cruelty to horses and really dangerous riding. I think most people are too busy at events to notice your butt!

pvcjumper
Apr. 12, 2007, 09:05 AM
FIRST let me say, since I think noone else has...Your mare is gorgeous darling, simply gorgeous!!!

LOFF her.

Anyways, secondly let me say, and I am definitely a "stick" as you called it, and coming from the "stick" I say that no-one should say jack or
sh!t to you. You look fine and your horse doesnt look over-ridered. It's no-ones business but your own. Even though I am on the opposite end of the spectrum, i get sh!t for my lack of weight too, and it made/makes me apprehensive at time to ride in front of people. DONT LET IT BOTHER YOU! People make fun of other people because they are too insecure with themselves. Be the bigger person and go kick their butts! (competitively only of course!)

Avra
Apr. 12, 2007, 09:11 AM
Believe it or not, I weighed 190 when I did IHSA in college, and despite ALWAYS being the only fat rider in my classes, I was usually first or second over fences. If you're fit and well-balanced and fit your horse, it truly doesn't matter.

BigMick
Apr. 12, 2007, 09:17 AM
When I look at your picture, all I see is a gal who sits up nice and tall, her heel is down, she's looking where she wants to go and her horse is going nicely on an ever so slightly loose rein - meaning she's relaxed and happy.

Just lovely if you ask me!!!

You can come be my stabling buddy at an event anytime!

HorseShowMama
Apr. 12, 2007, 09:20 AM
I'm not an eventer and I don't usually read the eventing posts, but I saw this topic and it interested me. First I'd like to agree with pvcjumper, your horse is beautiful and together you make a nice 'picture'.

My daughter shows in the jumper ring and I'm currently living vicariously as I'm embarrassed to get on a horse at my current weight at BNT barn. I think it's me, not anyone else, who has the issue. Others occasionally ask why I'm not riding anymore and suggest I get back in the saddle. Why can I look at the pictures others post and think, "they look fine, of course they should be riding" and then look at myself in the mirror and think "Oh the poor horses, you're way too fat to sit on a living creature!".

magnolia73
Apr. 12, 2007, 09:28 AM
Horseshowmama,
You comments make me sad for you. Go ride. The horse will be fine with it. If it makes you feel better, find a big old chunk of a horse to ride. You don't have to show or even wear breeches!

SBClancy
Apr. 12, 2007, 09:29 AM
Having been overweight most of my life and more so now than ever, I have been competing and doing really well. A good judge will see the rider and horse not the overweight part. A fit person comes in many different shapes and sizes. Yes I could loose weight and started doing so by going to Weight Watchers and working out more. My riding only being part of the motivating factor. The biggest factor was my kids and being able set a good example and being able to do more things with them.

The thing that bothers me the most about people is when people assume I must have a quiet, obedient horse because of the fact I'm really overweight I must not be a good rider.

Enjoy the ride and be happy no matter what size you are.

BarbB
Apr. 12, 2007, 09:34 AM
Horseshowmama,
You comments make me sad for you. Go ride. The horse will be fine with it. If it makes you feel better, find a big old chunk of a horse to ride. You don't have to show or even wear breeches!

ditto
Although I am working hard on it, I do not have the .....um.....outline..:sigh: ...that I would like to have on the back of a horse.
However, I don't look any slimmer standing at the rail, so I might as well be riding.

SparklePlenty
Apr. 12, 2007, 09:51 AM
I dont feel that weight is ever an issue when it comes to riding.. and i mean that in any discipline. It's a matter of fitness.. the more muscle you put on the more you will weigh overall, due to the fact that muscle weights more than fat. Now to lose the fat first and then to build/tone up muscle is what needs to be done.

But i have a huge issue with those who are like ".. i weigh 170lbs OMG.. i need to be 140lbs." :rolleyes: Seriously its only a number. If you feel fit enough and happy enough with how you are now then it shouldn't matter what everyone else thinks.

I applaud you for doing your best in your weightloss efforts.. but remeber it's YOUR own opinion that matters most. I'm no stick, and i've been the "fat kid" before... But make sure your losing weight for the right reason, and not because your afraid of being laughed at in the show ring. (which eventers wont do anyway!!:yes: )

PS- i think you and your horsey look wonderful together! :D

luise
Apr. 12, 2007, 09:52 AM
Many people don't realize that exercise is not enough to lose weight. The saying, "you are what you eat," has some truth to it. Ever watch that show "The Biggest Loser?" The contestants lose weight not only because of exercise, but because they change their eating habits. I always recommend to people Weight Watchers. I did it (and kind of do it on and off) and have lost almost 20 lbs. My sister did it and lost 20 lbs. It's all about eating in moderation and taking in less calories. When you first start it, you realize how much you were actually eating during the day! the other great thing about WW is that you can pretty much eat what you want, just in moderation. It really makes you eat normal portions. So my advise for those who want to lose weight is to do a program like WW--it provides some guidance in terms of how to change your diet and there are many good recipes on the website. I definitely feel better when I follow it--I eat more fruit and veggies and less carbs and high fat foods.
I'm not trying to be mean, but when I see overweight people, I never look at them and think, "wow, what a fit person." So while it may not matter much for eventing, it does matter for your overall health. And having a large bone structure or large muscles still doesn't make one look overweight, so I think people should stop using that excuse.

bip
Apr. 12, 2007, 10:17 AM
I'm not trying to be mean, but when I see overweight people, I never look at them and think, "wow, what a fit person."

Fortunately I don't give a f*** what you think when you look at me.

I worry about my horse and I worry about my health. But what people who don't know me think? There are too many good things in my life for me to dwell on something like that.

Longspot
Apr. 12, 2007, 10:21 AM
Many people don't realize that exercise is not enough to lose weight.

And, even with proper diet and exercise, you still have to get ENOUGH exercise to lose weight.

I met with a dietitian yesterday because I haven't been losing weight on a 1500 calorie diet (full of the right stuff) and a fairly active lifestyle (lots of walking, riding, going to the gym a few times a week).

Once she took my history she said in my case I need an HOUR of hardcore cardio SIX days a week in addition to everything else. :dead:

Okay, that actually doesn't sound like much when I type it in, but trust me, with my schedule it's going to be hard to find six hours a week to sit on an elliptical machine! :eek:

magnolia73
Apr. 12, 2007, 10:30 AM
Luise-
With all due respect, the poster asked about if she would be accepted at a horse show as an overweight rider. You CAN be fit and fat- ask me, I'm running a marathon in a month. I know I don't look fit or like a runner - hell, go to an Ironman- you'll see spare tires and jiggly thighs on many people. There are many, many of us who get the exercise right and the eating wrong. We all know what we need to do with our food intake. All that we ask is that people don't point fingers and stare if our breeches are a bit tight (ETA, I make a point to buy non-skintight breeches....)and that judges don't mark our horses down because we don't have that elegant look.

kellyb
Apr. 12, 2007, 10:36 AM
I predict that by the time you get to the end of the summer you'll have lost weight anyway...you'd be surprised what serious training can do (for you and your horse). When I ride more, not only am I getting more exercise, but it's keeping me away from the pantry too :lol:

luise
Apr. 12, 2007, 10:38 AM
Longspot--1500 calories may be too little--that may be why you're not losing weight. When you eat too little, after a while your body thinks it's starving, so it actually starts to conserve energy. Also, if you follow WW, you really can lose weight without exercise. I am a physician, so of course I'm going to advocate exercise for the cardiovascular benefits. Also, with WW, many people think that if they eat the minimum number of points everyday, they will lose a ton of weight. This is true in the beginning, but after a while the body's metabolism kind of resets itself--you actually have to mix up your points (eat a lot on one day, the minimum the next, etc). I don't want anyone to think I work for WW or anything--it's just that I've been doing it on and off for the past 3 years because it works. Whenever I go off it, I start eating more and gain weight. I go back on it--watch what I eat, eat more veggies, etc, and lose weight. I use WW because I need some kind of guidance (otherwise I eat too much because I enjoy it!).

bip--the OP seemed to indicate she cares a little bit about what people think. Otherwise, why would she have posted this topic? All I'm saying is that fitness in my opinion is not just working out a lot, but caring about what you eat. You may think you are "fit" and healthy because you exercise a lot. But all that extra weight you are carrying around is not good for your heart, joints, etc. Have you ever seen an obese Olympic athlete?
We should all care a little bit about what people think of us, because unfortunately, that is the kind of world we live in. I'm no skinny person myself, but I at least try to keep my weight in a healthy range. You are only kidding yourself if you think that how you look doesn't matter to people.

Magnolia73--I know that people can be "fit" and fat. But if you want to do what's best for your health, then the diet needs to be changed also. I know the OP was asking about if she will be accepted as an overweight rider, but people started talking about on this thread how you can be fit and overweight. I just think it's a bit of a contradiction. If you care enough about your health to work out, you should care enough to watch what your put into your body. I have struggled with my weight my entire life (never been obese, but just 10-20 lbs more than I have wanted to be). So I know it is not easy to lose weight. People just need to take a little bit more control if they want to do something about it.

AppJumpr08
Apr. 12, 2007, 10:39 AM
As long as you're fit and have good balance, don't worry about not being a twig!! Just look at Buck Davidson - his weight has just about always been above what many people would think is "appropriate"... and he rides around Rolex!!! :D:D:D (this is NOT in anyway, shape, or form ment to be negative towards Buck - I have a huge amount of respect for him!)

Jleegriffith
Apr. 12, 2007, 10:39 AM
Magnolia- I totally agree with that. You can be fit and yet still be heavy. That is awesome that you are running a marathon. I am really impressed.

Yes, we all know we should eat better. I track my food that I eat with an awesome program www.myfooddiary.com (http://www.chronicleforums.com/Forum/www.myfooddiary.com) so I know that I eat between 1200-1500 calories a day. I am not pigging out. It's just needing more exercise to increase the metabolism. I know for me it's the intense cardio that I need to do. I am working hard at it but finding the time to do the necessary amount is hard. I have to get up in the morning and do it or else when I get home at 8 pm from the barn I am ready to crash and working out is not going to happen.

I too was a part of the Area 2 diet group and it's awesome. Everyone is so supportive. I no longer participating mainly because I don't have the funds but the support is great.

My weight is focused in my legs mostly thighs and I don't feel like it hurts my riding. I think people do take you less seriously as a rider and that bothers me. I would like to create an elegant picture on a horse but it won't ever stop me from riding. Riding is what makes me happy and I would do it no matter how much I weighed. I am motivated to keep working hard to lose the weight so I can be the best rider possible.

I find eventers to be the nicest group of people out there. There will always be those who are quick to critcize other's but you can't let those stop you. Let that motivate you to just work harder.

Doodle
Apr. 12, 2007, 10:45 AM
Hells Bells!: I have two words.. Buck Davidson...
No offense at all but he isn't exactly svelte...:yes:

VCT
Apr. 12, 2007, 11:56 AM
All I thought when I saw your (OP) photo:

1. Cuuuuuute horse!

2. You look fine on that horse, what are you talking about?!?!?

3. I bet you'd look a bit trimmer if you didn't have such a baggy sweatshirt on. (I am around you're size and seems like a similar build too)

4. You look like a pretty nice rider.

5. Hope you have a blast eventing! I'm hoping to get to my first BN HT this year as well!!!

criss
Apr. 12, 2007, 01:15 PM
Yeah, as others have said, you look fine. I looked at the picture and was like, Wait, this person thinks she's too heavy to event?

Fwiw, I am built about like you or even a bit heavier (I suspect you're taller than I am, so for me it's the weight plus the stubby legs that exaggerate it), and I evented a 15.3 Morgan/TB through Training and schooled Prelim. My weight was never a problem for him. My balance was at times an issue, but skinny people can f up a horse's balance too. When I finally stopped leaning at fences, I had no trouble jumping 4' on him. I still ride him though we no longer compete (because he's happiest at Novice, where he doesn't have to think too hard, and I won't put forth the effort and cash to compete if I'm going to be going Novice season after season), and the other day I rode for half an hour with no stirrups, doing mostly trot work. The horse not only didn't break a sweat, he wasn't even warm, and he's not that fit right now (and he's 26 years old), so clearly carting my fat @$$ around isn't straining him. ;)

You can totally be fit and fat at the same time. I ski raced for ten years, and I was usually the only girl and the only chubby kid, and when we were doing "dry land" training (fitness workouts not on skis), I got left behind on all the running stuff because I'm just not cut out for it, but because I rode, I could do five times the number of situps that any of the boys could, and I was lifting 270 lbs on the leg press when we were in the weight room. I will never be a cardio person, but I don't think being thin would change that, seeing as how my mom (also a fit horseperson) weighed 115 dripping wet and also couldn't run more than a short distance without gasping for air. Don't let people get you down.

Also, I think everyone who's said eventers won't care is spot-on. Eventers care that you can ride, that you take care of your horse, that you are safe. If you are banging on the horse's mouth or back because you're flabby, people will feel bad for your horse, but you look like you have a lovely position and a comfy horse, so I think you're in no danger of being looked askance at. And if some misguided skinny person who thinks she's morally superior to you because she's thin does have the temerity to make you feel out of place, well, that's her issue.

Personally, my life is too short to spend months on end being hungry, or hours every week on a freakin' treadmill. Eat sensibly (you know, lots of veggies and whole grains, not too much refined sugar and saturated/trans fats), ride every day, relish the chance to build muscle stacking loads of hay, and have fun, I say. It's just not worth it to spend all that time worrying about what people think and wishing you could eat a brownie.

melodiousaphony
Apr. 12, 2007, 01:33 PM
Hullo,
I am not really sure if I qualify for "overweight" because I made a point of not owning any scales, stepping on them, or otherwise having knowledge of my weight. I reside in the not-thin, not-huge, looks like s*** in britches but fine in jeans grey-area.

When I see a rider, I'm not going to say I don't notice what size they are. But I also notice more how their horse responds to them, how they are carrying themselves, and if they are badly matched for their mount. I've seen small girls on big horses that can't control them because they have no leverage/don't know how to use what they do have (and yes, there are awesome small riders out their). I've seen big girls on small horses that can't balance their weight correctly. Heck, I've seen normal sized people on well proportioned to them horses that are giving their horse a terrible ride. What matters most to me, what I notice most, is if a horse and rider look happy and safe together.

[That said, you and your horse look fine as a pair, don't fret].

One of the things that I love the most about eventing is the accepting attitude of 99% of the people involved. As long as you are taking good care of your horse, or willing to learn how, and are a pleasant person, I've found that eventers are some of the best people to be around. They'll help you out if you don't know how to figure out where you're riding dressage. You can almost always butt in on a course walk with a group of people. Heck, I had one really nice pony clubber come back from his stadium round and explain to me what corners to look out for, not because I asked, but because he thought they were tricky enough that anyone who hadn't gone yet should know.
My mom often remarks about how happy she is I switched from the h/j circuit (not really my cup of tea, though I love doing straight up jumpers) to eventing not just because I like it more, but because of the comradery (sp?).

So don't worry, we won't laugh you out of the ring. We just might walk up and brush a clump of mud off your boots or suggest you slow down approaching fence 10 'cause the footing is a bit off.

-Jocelyn

Hotspur
Apr. 12, 2007, 01:45 PM
Go for it Girl! I think that you will find everters to be a positive and accecping group. I just started last year and I was a little self concious. I'm a 57 year old grandfather with gray hair and I knew that I was starting in the divisions that have many little girls with pink helmets, riding cute little ponies. Everyone, and I mean everyone was very nice to me!

Have fun this year and get used to hearing cheers as you and your beautiful mare pass by on cross country!

bovon
Apr. 12, 2007, 02:22 PM
Go for it Girl! I think that you will find everters to be a positive and accecping group. I just started last year and I was a little self concious. I'm a 57 year old grandfather with gray hair and I knew that I was starting in the divisions that have many little girls with pink helmets, riding cute little ponies. Everyone, and I mean everyone was very nice to me!

Have fun this year and get used to hearing cheers as you and your beautiful mare pass by on cross country!

To the OP..I looked at your picture and said to myself "what's she talking about" ya'll look great..you'll have fun and as I remember someone telling me it's not your weight while riding it's how you balance that weight that matters. To Hotspur..I love ya...I'm 44 and starting over again after a bad injury last year and feel I'm always being outridden by the 10 year olds ( but it doesn't matter we're having fun and my horse is happy! ya'll are an inspiration:yes:

magnolia73
Apr. 12, 2007, 02:27 PM
Luise-
I’m going to say this – you just rubbed a raw nerve. It takes more than a little control to lose weight if you are one of those people with 50 pounds or more to lose. It isn’t as easy as counting points or saying no to a bowl of ice cream. Don’t for ONE MINUTE think that someone my size must just be tying on the feed bag at Mc Donalds or hitting the Ben and Jerry’s nightly. I have made a supreme concerted effort in the past 8 weeks to lose weight by constantly monitoring my calorie intake- 1500-1800 calories a day- and weighing things on a kitchen scale to be accurate. I am also at the last leg of training for a marathon. I have lost 5 lbs. Which is awesome. Go me. I have probably 50 more to lose. So no, it isn’t a bit of discipline or control. It’s a hell of a lot of work and planning to make sure I am feeding myself correctly. Thank God I have an easy job and no children to take the time I spend cooking from scratch and exercising. Frankly, I don’t have much hope for being non-fat anytime soon. My brother who trains for Ironmans is always on a diet and goes to bed hungry so he can get to weight he is happy with which means no spare tire. His “treat” is a salad with some fish. WooHoo!

If we all put our lives on hold to get to an ideal weight, we’d be miserable. I’m sure if I lost 50 lbs. I’d run faster, and maybe even ride better and look sexier in a pair of jeans. But frankly, I’m not hideous, I’m not that bad of a rider, well, I do run slow. If you want to judge us while we are out there living, that’s fine, judge us. But don’t patronize us with drivel about the simplicity of losing weight as if we are all at McDonalds eating a super size meal topped off with some little debbies. Every heavy woman knows how to lose weight - we all know to eat fewer calories and exercise more.

I’ve found that in riding and in running and in life in general that people are very supportive, at least to my face. If they poke fun at me behind my back, that’s fine. A big whatever. My body is healthy and my mind is healthy and I enjoy my physical activities to the best of my abilities.

Whisper
Apr. 12, 2007, 02:34 PM
If anyone does pick on you about your weight, they're being rude. :( I've had people hassle me for being too fat and too skinny (on the same day:eek: ), even though there was nothing wrong with my weight.:sigh:

Anyway, your mare is really cute, and the two of you look like a good match for each other.

luise
Apr. 12, 2007, 02:43 PM
Magnolia73--I didn't mean to rub a raw nerve. I think it's terrific that are you making such an effort to lose weight! Many people think because they exercise they can eat anything. And I am not judging anyone. As I said before, I have also struggled in my own way with my weight, just as most women have. I know that losing weight is not easy. I never said it was. It requires changing your lifestyle in many cases. (let's face it, the extra 100 lbs didn't come on overnight!)

Also, you don't have to be miserable when you change your diet! There are many low fat options out there, and also ways to incorporate your favorite foods into your diet without feeling deprived. It is just that many people are not educated about what they should be eating. Many people know nothing about portion sizes (i.e., we should be eating 4 oz of meat, not a giant steak or giant piece of chicken). Often people think that eating salad is healthy, but forget that they drown it in oily dressing. Some people go to the other extreme and severely limit their caloric intact, which does more harm than good.

Anyway, I was only trying to make one point--that diet and exercise need to go hand in hand. If we really want to be healthy and fit, we need to eat a healthy balanced diet in addition to exercise. I was just getting the impression earlier that people were neglecting the diet aspect because they exercise.

I don't think that the OP should care at all about what people think--the important thing is that she is getting out there and exercising and riding! It is better than sitting at home watching TV because one is worried about being judged.

Ibex
Apr. 12, 2007, 02:51 PM
Being thin does NOT equal being fit. I'm somewhat twig-like and have long legs. Great, but it's taken forever to get any muscle on them!! I'm thankful to be riding a more sensitive/forward horse these days since it doesn't take as much muscle to get them moving.

Meanwhile much some sturdier riders seem to have an easier time building muscle and getting fit, even it they're not thin...

magnolia73
Apr. 12, 2007, 03:06 PM
Luise-
I know a bunch of gals who really do work hard at it and the pay off is slow....painfully slow. We get uppity when you tell us its simple. It's probably the lack of full fat salad dressing and reeses cups in our diet. :winkgrin:

It's kind of like those really good riders saying "That huge table - It's easy, just don't lean". We want to throttle you!

Arcadien
Apr. 12, 2007, 04:03 PM
Hey there, just here to agree, you look like a great pair and your horse is far too cute not to take to a show!

I agree with whoever said -

If you can get up to galloping 5 minutes in 2 pt, you are fit enough for BN! You will be effective and have fun out there, and who gives a hoot what any onlookers think -you'll be on such a high when you gallop over the finish line you wont care one bit about them! (And I'd wager they'll be cheering for you when they see that big grin, LOL)

Mind, you may need to start at 1 minute, and work your way up. Maybe pick one day a week and say, okay this is our fitness test day! Or every other week, or month - like the poster said, at this level your horse doesn't need to gallop often to be fit enough, regular riding 3-4 days a week is enough. The test is for YOU - maybe you can prepare for it by doing some 2pt sessions at walk and trot during your regular ride.

Go for it, forget about weight and just set yourself the gallop fitness goal - those are nice tangible things and when you reach them you won't give a r*t's a** what anyone thinks of you, you know you DID IT!!!

Arcadien

missamandarose
Apr. 12, 2007, 04:22 PM
This is a group of eventers in Area II that diet together and help each other on a list. It's run by Yvonne Lucas and I think that if you google ar2 dietpool you may find it. .

I googled it and couldnt come up with anything... do you have a direct link? I want to check it out! Thanks!!

jkt1026
Apr. 12, 2007, 04:34 PM
I googled it and couldnt come up with anything... do you have a direct link? I want to check it out! Thanks!!

Me too me too! :)

islandhorse
Apr. 12, 2007, 04:47 PM
Chipngrace, I'm so glad you brought up this subject. I have been wanting to for a long time but was even too embarrased to post the question. I have never done cross-country but have wanted to for many years. My weight is one of the reasons why I have not made an honest effort to try and hook up with cross-country trainer. My 14.2 big-boned polish/cmk arabian and I (5'9" and 200++ lbs) do distance riding, so I have the distance down, now I just have to work on the jumping. Also, I'm afraid that my short arabian will be laughed at as he is surrounded by huge warmbloods and thoroughbreds. I guess I need to stop being such a wuss!

GotSpots
Apr. 12, 2007, 04:59 PM
I used to think that any horse I rode had to be sufficiently big so that I didn't worry that if I had a cupcake one afternoon observers will suddenly wonder if my arse is bigger than the horse's. I rode alot of 16.3hh monsters with backs long enough for two saddles.

Then I got the ride on the very much beloved Sainted Pony, who is maybe 16hh on his OTTB tiptoes-with-pads-on and short-coupled to boot. He is not a big horse by any means. But he is absolutely one of the most wonderful beasts I have ever swung a leg over. At the end of the day, that KC horse makes me smile every single time I come off course. And I don't give a darn about whether I've eaten a cupcake, or the scale reports an extra pound or two, or what have you. I would be heartbroken if I had missed out on the fun and sheer joy I was blessed with by riding that one, just for fear of being too big on him.

Seriously, don't let the fear of others stop you. Swing a leg over and come join the fun. Life's too short to stand by the ingate, you know?

Mariequi
Apr. 12, 2007, 07:59 PM
Lovely horse (I may be prejudiced, says Dublin) and you do look like a good rider. This is up my alley. I've not been riding regularly for 10 years, competing about the same time. First had injured older horse, then Dublin when she was a baby. So starting over - and lots heavier. Long way to go. I aspire to be where you are now!

Meredith Clark
Apr. 12, 2007, 10:30 PM
I think you'll eventually feel more comfortable in the eventing environment than anywhere else...

When I go x-country schooling in the summer I always just wear a sports bra under my vest and when i'm done I throw it off (the vest, not the bra!) and run around and hose my horse off and I don't care who sees me... its usually 100 degrees out!!!

But there's no way i'd run around like that infront of my sorority house with the frat guys walking by... they're not as nice as eventing peeps!!!!

beeblebrox
Apr. 12, 2007, 11:14 PM
I am somewhat overweight myself but am fit enough I am not a extra burden on top of me being larger. What I mean by this is if your heavy and out of shape at some point you will be a dead sack of potatoes on the XC course which is not fair to a horse of any size.

This was brought into clear focus when schooling with a famous eventer, I asked the same question as I was extremely self conscious as I was at one time slender. The BNT said look I would never expect a horse to carry my ass over a course I could not walk myself at a decent clip without stopping to rest.

So for me a rider no matter what size (unless you have a injury) should be able to walk the entire XC with a good clip without stopping to rest if you expect your horse to do the same for you at a canter or gallop. I know many people who are not heavy who struggle at the last 1/4 of the course as far as staying off the horses back and then add wait to that and it is not fair at any level.

I stay fit on my machine at home but it is hard to lose all the weight as I need 2 knee replacements from a car accident and horse related fall ;-(

My point is you should be able to canter the track of the course you intent to ride in two point or gallop position with no jumps or be able to walk your course without a break!

BE FIT not matter how thin or thick you may be, ride a treadmill save a horse ;-)

fergie
Apr. 13, 2007, 12:36 AM
Yes, that's what has been missed in this discussion - how the extra weight affects your partner, the horse. I feel bad for the rider and how they must mentally struggle with the weight thing, food addiction, persecution from people's attitudes, etc., but I do feel for the horse too and how the extra weight must throw off the horse's balance - especially jumping. That's a tough one.
At least the OP is trying to lose weight and realizes the benefits that brings. Going BN is probably no big deal - the fences are small and you could trot everything if you needed to.

Longspot
Apr. 13, 2007, 01:32 AM
Longspot--1500 calories may be too little--that may be why you're not losing weight. When you eat too little, after a while your body thinks it's starving, so it actually starts to conserve energy. Also, if you follow WW, you really can lose weight without exercise. I am a physician, so of course I'm going to advocate exercise for the cardiovascular benefits.


Tried it. If I eat much more than that I gain. :(

As of right now I'm able to do 1500 pretty easily and comfortably (and there are occasional days I go over). I'm working with a team of doctors, so I don't think I'm in danger of starving myself, it's just about finding the right program for my metabolism. (FWIW I'm not obese but I could stand to drop a few inches.)

Bravestrom
Apr. 13, 2007, 08:17 AM
kudoos to you - when I started back riding in 2004 I weighed 250 lbs.

In 2005 I bought my horse and haven't looked back - I am tall - 5' 7 1/2" and very big busted - 42 DD - I will never be skinny but want to be fit.

Last year we evented a full season - I have lost 65 lbs since I got my horse and now ride 2 horses almost every day - I will be eventing one and showing the other in dressage.

Here are some pic's of me now - I am still not a stick (not used to offend - just using thread language) - never will be but I am having the time of my life and feeling better every day I ride my beauties

www.hotelfun4kids.com/images/horses/prody.jpg
www.hotelfun4kids.com/images/horses/asper.JPG


Here is our first event last year.

http://www.photosbybailini.com/gallery/view_photo.php?set_albumName=2006_GrandviewHT_May_ PTSr&id=130506_3206

LisaB
Apr. 13, 2007, 08:33 AM
Prodomus, I love your horse!
I've always had weight trouble (and big boob syndrome) and the most that any instructor has ever told me was that I need to be fit enough to get around all 3 phases in one day, in one piece.
Some of us are larger. So what?
The only time I've seen an overweight person and actually remarked on it was at an event where there was a double bank up and a really steep hill. This rider was overweight on a horse that was marginally large enough for her. She was out of shape and totally yanked the horse back because her legs weren't strong enough and she didn't have the where-with-all to grab mane. That poor horse! He was a saint and just grabbed back at her and charged up the hill.
There are some ULR's who have weight problems and really balance themselves well. Look at Phyllis Dawson and Becky Holder. They are really great riders.

Cody
Apr. 13, 2007, 08:55 AM
Ok, I definitely fit in that category although all my friends say no. I just know what I feel. Yep I can still be on top when we come off xc and I haven't stressed him too much. I do ride a 17h pony, but I bred him so I'm stuck w/him. Would I like to lose weight, you betcha'.

But my main question is, now that the 1824 company is no longer around, where does everyone find jackets that fit? I bought a dressage coat from the 1824 company years ago and wish I'd had enough money to buy two.

Cody

Noctis
Apr. 13, 2007, 09:16 AM
I am a larger (for my height) rider. I'm 5'4 and usually around 150. And VERY short torso and big (34D/DD) boobs. Soccer player calves. And I'm GREAT on my TINY (fine boned) 16hh mare. I'm also very balanced and comfy on some of the medium ponies, as long as they are sturdy. I, on a previous horse, have hopped around prelim,and schooled intermediate/some advanced. BUT I cannot walk a whole course unpuffingi lol...but thats because I need a double knee replacement soon, so i guess I'll call out knee pain on that one! I'm happy at my weight. I'm "bigger" than most people in my area, but I ride well, my horse is happy, and I am VERY fit! HA! Have no worries OP, you look great on your horse!
Here We are (http://thumb14.webshots.net/t/36/37/5/80/94/2524580940064239474AJKxqu_th.jpg)

Avra
Apr. 13, 2007, 09:55 AM
Cody--www.equestriancollection.com carries 1824 stuff. There's a coat from Devon Aire, I think, that comes in larger sizes. There's a thread about it in Off Course--I forget the title but it's usually on the first couple pages.

Bravestrom
Apr. 13, 2007, 10:01 AM
couldn't find that website?

arabhorse2
Apr. 13, 2007, 10:02 AM
OP, is there a reason besides worrying about how you look, that's motivating you to lose weight?

Has your horse been lame, and perhaps you think it might be your weight that's causing it, at least partially? An unbalanced rider will most certainly cause problems for his/her mount, and adding some extra weight into the equation doesn't help.

How's your riding? Are you a light, balanced rider, or do you pull the horse off? I know if I don't get in enough riding time, my balance is a little iffy until I've been back in the saddle a goodly amount.

Avra
Apr. 13, 2007, 10:34 AM
My bad! It's http://www.equestriancollections.com/

www.horseloverz.com has stuff, too--the coats go up to size 28, I think, so you just have to figure out what that corresponds to in real sizes.

fergie
Apr. 13, 2007, 10:54 AM
Everyday life is one thing when people are cruel to the obese, but riding a horse is a different category because you are asking your partner to deal with your weight. I think that if you ask your horse to gallop around, do trot sets, work for an hour a day, carry your ass safely over cross country jumps, maintain a healthy weight on a healthy diet -- you owe it to him/her to do the same. That's only being fair to your partner, the horse. The OP realizes this, and is wondering if she will be chastised at events because of her size. People are people, and some will make their snide remarks, but so what, you are working on your situation. Good for you! Your horse will thank you for losing weight when she's galloping up a hill. Eventing is a sport about being athletes - the horse and the rider. Just because there are exceptions at the top levels doesn't mean it is right, and that their extra weight doesn't bother these people and their horses. Why make it harder on the horse than it needs to be? It's hard enough as it is!
P.S. I'm sorry, but if you need a size 28 jacket, you need to ask if you are being fair to your partner, the horse.....

CBudFrggy
Apr. 13, 2007, 12:08 PM
Quoted from Melodiousaphony:

"I am not really sure if I qualify for "overweight" because I made a point of not owning any scales, stepping on them, or otherwise having knowledge of my weight. I reside in the not-thin, not-huge, looks like s*** in britches but fine in jeans grey-area."

Me too!

I'm 5'6" and currently 150 lbs. While I would love to lose 20 more pounds (I already lost 16), I know with my schedule I'll just have to find five more hours in my week, buy a new bicycle and pedal like mad to do so. As it is, we are hoping for our first BN in October now due to finances (or lack thereof). Oh well, by then we'll really have that darn dressage part down pat.

Here we are last year b4 I lost the 16 lbs.

http://i18.photobucket.com/albums/b117/cbudnik/CopyofFroggy3-25-06057.jpg

OP: You look fine! I can't imagine anyone saying anything to you about your weight.

Prodomus: I LOFF your horse in that XC shot! Awesome!!!

I think its time for lunch--I hear an Oriental Chicken Salad from Applebees calling my name. ;-)

VCT
Apr. 13, 2007, 12:14 PM
Oh pah-lease fergie.
This girl is not so hefty her horse will have a hard time going up a hill.

I'm heavy for my size. I'm 5'7" 207lbs (as of this morning) and wear a size 14, 16 or 18 depending on the clothes.

One of my horses, the one I ride the most, is a 16hh (with his shoes on) Appendix Qh who lookes more like a TB than a QH. Last fall, all things being basically the same as now (weight, etc except he is actually MORE FIT now) I took him on hunter paces and that horse was NOT tired, laboring or struggling. In fact he was pretty exuberant all the way until the end.

horsepix76
Apr. 13, 2007, 12:31 PM
To the OP...eventers are good, kind, hard-working people -- heck, they have to be to do all 3 events! :) Eventing keeps you humble, so they know better than to have a "holier than thow" attitude. ;) I've got 25 lbs to loose and I'm working on it. Here is a picture of me on my horse. (http://picasaweb.google.com/horsepix/Jewel/photo#5049039267696123266) No skinny minny. ;)


Longspot--1500 calories may be too little--that may be why you're not losing weight. When you eat too little, after a while your body thinks it's starving, so it actually starts to conserve energy. Also, if you follow WW, you really can lose weight without exercise. I am a physician, so of course I'm going to advocate exercise for the cardiovascular benefits. Also, with WW, many people think that if they eat the minimum number of points everyday, they will lose a ton of weight. This is true in the beginning, but after a while the body's metabolism kind of resets itself--you actually have to mix up your points (eat a lot on one day, the minimum the next, etc). I don't want anyone to think I work for WW or anything--it's just that I've been doing it on and off for the past 3 years because it works. Whenever I go off it, I start eating more and gain weight. I go back on it--watch what I eat, eat more veggies, etc, and lose weight. I use WW because I need some kind of guidance (otherwise I eat too much because I enjoy it!).

This is SO TRUE and such very good advice. I would go further to say that while WW is a good program for some, most likely what is happening is that the participants are eating low-glycemic meals. When the blood sugar doesn't fluctuate, the body doesn't store fat. I've had really excellent luck with the Transitions Lifestyle System (http://www.transitionslifestyle.com/). Although as I said above that I still have 25 lbs to loose, I've already dropped about 12 lbs. And really, when I make the dietary changes suggested in Transitions, the fat seems to melt away. :)

bornfreenowexpensive
Apr. 13, 2007, 12:43 PM
Oh pah-lease fergie.
This girl is not so hefty her horse will have a hard time going up a hill.




that actually isn't the issue...well I guess in an exteme extreme case it could be. But really, it is the throwing them off balance and pounding on them. This is true of any rider on a horse....they do not need to be overweight to cause an issue...but it is compounded if you are heavy ....whether it is because you are overweight or just a large person....and also compounded when you are tall.

I do not think the OP is too heavy to event or to ride. I struggle with weight issues all the time although too many I may be thin. But I know I'm not fit enough for the level that I'm competeing (prelim) or hope to compete (above Prelim).

I think the point that Fergie was making is that this is a sport with two athletes...the horse and the rider. And unlike sports where only you are competing...you must consider your partner, the horse, when making any determinations. And obviously, how athletic both the horse and rider need to be depends on the level. This is NOT a sport about how pretty you look....so the only impact to me that a heavy rider has is how well they ride.

I've known MANY heavy riders who were absolutely beautiful riders....and I've known MANY skinny riders were it was painful to watch and they were causing their horses pain and/or throwing their horses balance off.
When jumping...this is a good way to get hurt or get your horse hurt. Just because you are heavy doesn't mean that you can not do well and have your horse happy, but being heavy does make it harder but also being skinny doesn't guarantee that you can ride well either ;)

Good luck to the OP and to everyone trying to lose....it it a tough and slow road but if you stick to it, you can reach your goals.

see u at x
Apr. 13, 2007, 12:47 PM
Cody, Ovation makes larger sized dressage and hunt coats, too.

And Fergie, I wear a size 28 coat because I have wide shoulders and big boobs. Sorry, but I can't afford a breast reduction at the moment, because I spend all my money on my horses. I am now less than 200 lbs, but even when I was 220, I NEVER had a trainer tell me that I was too fat to ride. I think it is really unfair to say that just because someone needs a size 28 coat that they're too fat. I'd like to see all those people out there sportin' around my 42DDs and broad German shoulders and see how many clothes THEY find to fit them properly.

It is hard being *that* girl amongst a world of typically thinner riders. No offense to the hunters out there (and yes, I do plan on competing hunters this year, though certainly not As or anything!), but I agree that some of them tend to be the worst. I think I mentioned on here once how GM asked one of the trainers at my barn during a clinic, "Why aren't you thin and blonde?" She said that she always had to be twice as good as the skinny girls, but she's grateful for it, because it made her a better rider.

Eventers do tend to be the most fun and laid back group, IME. I've run into a few snooty ones who tend to think that just because they have a better horse/are a better rider/or are skinnier, that they're just a better person in general than you are, but 98% of the eventers I've met are so cool and fun to be around. I'm thrilled to finally have a horse that I can do some horse trials on this year - it'll be nice to get out and meet some of these colorful people. :)

fergie
Apr. 13, 2007, 12:54 PM
Yes, I was only trying to point out how it could affect the horse. The horse must always come first. At the lower levels it is probably no big deal, but extra weight does magnify imbalances, exponentially sometimes. Those of you who say weight doesn't matter, don't kid yourself, it does - why else would jockeys have to weigh in??? - because it affects the performance of the horse. It's all about the horse!
As for ridicule, you are probably much safer at a lower level event than at a hunter show. Just keep working at things - you have an excellent attitude and that's paramount (in life....)! Good luck and have fun!

Jleegriffith
Apr. 13, 2007, 12:56 PM
Bornfree- I couldn't have said it any better. I like to say the proof is in the riding. Yes, I know the extra weight doesn't help my horses but I can carry myself and balance myself. I ride a lot of of tough green horses and I don't feel like I would unbalance them. However, like bornfree said as you move up the levels you need to be fit enough to help the horse. I will keep working on my weight to get to the level where I feel comfortable.

I am sure those top event riders that have extra weight are very fit. They ride many horses a day and several horses at the events where they compete. You never know the situation. A lot of people gain weight due to metabolic issues, medication and other causes that no amount of working out or dieting will address. I watch those riders and can't see how their horses would be affected by the extra weight. They are out there winning at advance level on repeated occassions year after year.

fergie
Apr. 13, 2007, 01:14 PM
And Fergie, I wear a size 28 coat because I have wide shoulders and big boobs. Sorry, but I can't afford a breast reduction at the moment, because I spend all my money on my horses. I am now less than 200 lbs, but even when I was 220, I NEVER had a trainer tell me that I was too fat to ride. I think it is really unfair to say that just because someone needs a size 28 coat that they're too fat. I'd like to see all those people out there sportin' around my 42DDs and broad German shoulders and see how many clothes THEY find to fit them properly.

:)

So...., you are telling me that the 220 was all boobs?
But good for you for dropping some weight!

I still say we should model ourselves after the 98% of upper level riders who are thin, not the 2% minority.... for the horse's sake ......

LisaB
Apr. 13, 2007, 01:44 PM
Gaaah! fergie!!!!
Think before you write!!! I can try to translate into human-speak but man! I hope you don't speak the way you write. I'm not terribly overweight (5'4" 146 lbs) and you're offending the crap out of me!
There are some larger riders that are very accomplished. But they are well-trained on where their bodies are and where the horse is. Just keep that in mind. I specifically chose a certain type of horse because I know the boobages and my lack of upper body control can hinder a thinner horse.
I passed on a rather cute pony because I felt really uncomfortable about jumping with him and would always be a worry wart about it.
He's now entered in Rolex ;o)

LisaB
Apr. 13, 2007, 01:47 PM
Oh yeah and about those thin people. Have you seen Mark Todd and William F-P ride? They have problems to compensate for as well. They are REALLY tall and their upper bodies can really play into galloping and jumping. But they are very well-controlled on where they place themselves. Same difference that we have to consider.

bornfreenowexpensive
Apr. 13, 2007, 02:18 PM
Bornfree- I couldn't have said it any better. I like to say the proof is in the riding. Yes, I know the extra weight doesn't help my horses but I can carry myself and balance myself. I ride a lot of of tough green horses and I don't feel like I would unbalance them. However, like bornfree said as you move up the levels you need to be fit enough to help the horse. I will keep working on my weight to get to the level where I feel comfortable.



Hell Jlee...you are fitter then me (and have better balance)! You will be kicking my behind this season for sure!

Hopeful Hunter
Apr. 13, 2007, 02:38 PM
As an aspiring hunter princess, I saw this thread and thought I'd venture over.

First, let me say I'm one of you. Well, not really, I mean I haven't got the balls to jump stuff that won't fall down ;-), and I'm obsessed with trying for perfection (hence the choice of hunters), but I'm not thin, and to add insult to injury in hunterland, I'm old (42)! I'm not pretty on a horse, but I strive to be effective.

But...I think that most of the riders like me who think we're all whales on horseback are probably not nearly as "bad" as we think. The reality is that if we can ride and achieve some success - move up, meet that jump, whatever - we simply CAN'T be that unbalanced/unfit/unattractive in our riding. I also have a larger top half - NOT an attribute in the hunters, need I say - and what I've learned is that it means that I need to be that much more aware of my body position in the saddle.

Because we're always aiming for lovely, even a tiny slump of the shoulder or slouch in the stomach can affect how round my horse jumps. That can be a good thing - we can adjust and get a brilliant effort without it "showing" to the judge - or a bad thing - I can screw up a perfect approach with a slight tilt. Add in that I've managed to make up a horse that IS sensitive to weight, and it means I have to try harder.

But that's ok. I CAN try harder. I can keep myself fit enough to ride and compete effectively. Could I be thinner? Yup! Will I be? Maybe (I'm trying, but it's not so easy). But the important thing is that I must be more effective, and since improving my skills is really what I'm all about, that's not so bad.

Oh, and as to the equ ring? In our local circuit you CAN win being bigger - we've got a pretty competitive circuit here and I've won a couple of championships in the equ (ok, when some of our amazing riders made errors, but...). Shocks the pants off me, but it can happen!

To all you who aren't "perfect rider body types" but ride anyway, and especially the eventers, you GO girls (and guys)! Life's too short to not do what you love because you don't fit an ideal.... Be fit, be smart and be safe and just go for it!

Dressage62
Apr. 13, 2007, 02:52 PM
Personally, I think you look like Becky Holder, and she did well at Burghley CCI**** last year! You Go Girl!

InVA
Apr. 13, 2007, 02:56 PM
Gaaah! fergie!!!!
Think before you write!!! I can try to translate into human-speak but man! I hope you don't speak the way you write. I'm not terribly overweight (5'4" 146 lbs) and you're offending the crap out of me!
There are some larger riders that are very accomplished. But they are well-trained on where their bodies are and where the horse is. Just keep that in mind. I specifically chose a certain type of horse because I know the boobages and my lack of upper body control can hinder a thinner horse.
I passed on a rather cute pony because I felt really uncomfortable about jumping with him and would always be a worry wart about it.
He's now entered in Rolex ;o)


I think Fergie is just expressing another opinion. Becky Holder is a good friend of mine. We even lived together once. I'm not offended. Try not to be so sensitive,...GAAAH!

Whisper
Apr. 13, 2007, 03:08 PM
Fergie, the thing is, the OP isn't asking if she should lose weight - she's already working on it. She's concerned that people are going to be rude/mean. As I mentioned in my earlier post, I've had a lot of people make snide remarks about my weight, even though I'm a 5/6Petite. There are a lot of people who are heavier than I am, but are much better riders.

see u at x
Apr. 13, 2007, 03:34 PM
So...., you are telling me that the 220 was all boobs?
But good for you for dropping some weight!


Oddly enough, my boobs were SMALLER when I was heavier, and I'm not sure why that is. And are you kidding...I'm not saying that the 220 was all boobs...not by a long shot! :lol: However, the plastic surgeon I met with last year to discuss my options did tell me that I DO have heavy breasts. Even after losing 25+ lbs., I only went down 1-2 sizes in clothing and I don't lose weight in my chest AT ALL. Different body types need to be taken into consideration, too, before people start pointing fingers.

I commend the OP for losing weight and getting more fit and healthy. It is HARD WORK!

katarine
Apr. 13, 2007, 03:47 PM
I would venture to say you've chosen the best english sport to partake in, in terms of good people with good attitudes. You'll be welcomed and no one will bat an eye at your size. You'll do just fine ;) I am someone who also struggles with her weight and I know that while I FEEL much better on the horse when I'm a little lighter (150 ish) I know there's many a man out there galloping along at 200+ and no one's giving him a second thought, as he's a man and they get free fat passes us girls aren't privy too :cool: ;)

see u at x
Apr. 13, 2007, 04:59 PM
I would venture to say you've chosen the best english sport to partake in, in terms of good people with good attitudes. You'll be welcomed and no one will bat an eye at your size. You'll do just fine ;) I am someone who also struggles with her weight and I know that while I FEEL much better on the horse when I'm a little lighter (150 ish) I know there's many a man out there galloping along at 200+ and no one's giving him a second thought, as he's a man and they get free fat passes us girls aren't privy too :cool: ;)

Amen and very well said! :yes:

luise
Apr. 13, 2007, 05:16 PM
Just one comment--one can't claim to be "fit" if they can't walk up a hill or a XC course without huffing and puffing. (I'm not talking about an inability to walk a course because of physical pain from bad joints.) Sorry, but if that is the case you are not as fit as you think. And perhaps you need to add some cardio to your exercise routine then.

Fancy That
Apr. 13, 2007, 06:28 PM
Great thread! I'm not the skinny-type either. Enjoying this thread! :)

I do think as riders we have to be fit, balanced and not too heavy for the horse. I also think that if I had less fat on my thighs, they would "lay" better on the saddle or on the horse...but alas, I'll always be curvy.

I'm not saying I'm overweight....just not a twig! And yes, I have the boobage too. Sometimes I wish I was 115lbs, but I'll never be.

A good tip to lose weight is to not eat dinner - or at least stop eating fairly early in the evening. One of my best friends simply doesn't eat dinner (on occassion maybe if going out) and she stays trim that way. But make sure you are grazing and eating well throughout the day! Isn't it Oprah who religiously doesn't eat past 6:30pm???

Here's my non-twiggy self:
http://farm1.static.flickr.com/114/298432311_97b8995b54.jpg?v=0

luise
Apr. 13, 2007, 06:40 PM
Fancy that--how tall are you? You look like you are about my size (5'2"). I would love to be 115 lbs, but it is just really hard for me. If I am working out and eating well, I can get down to a weight of 120 (BMI of about 22), but now am a few pounds over that. It's hard when you're short! I will never have toothpick legs!
Here's a pic from me in Ireland:
http://home-and-garden.webshots.com/photo/2301859300098357527tvTuFg

Blacktree
Apr. 13, 2007, 07:01 PM
kudoos to you - when I started back riding in 2004 I weighed 250 lbs.

In 2005 I bought my horse and haven't looked back - I am tall - 5' 7 1/2" and very big busted - 42 DD - I will never be skinny but want to be fit.

Last year we evented a full season - I have lost 65 lbs since I got my horse and now ride 2 horses almost every day - I will be eventing one and showing the other in dressage.

Here are some pic's of me now - I am still not a stick (not used to offend - just using thread language) - never will be but I am having the time of my life and feeling better every day I ride my beauties

www.hotelfun4kids.com/images/horses/prody.jpg
www.hotelfun4kids.com/images/horses/asper.JPG


Here is our first event last year.

http://www.photosbybailini.com/gallery/view_photo.php?set_albumName=2006_GrandviewHT_May_ PTSr&id=130506_3206


Ooh-la-la! GORGEOUS horse above - what is his/her breeding? (sorry, sidetrack, couldn't help it) :)

The area II thing sounds like a great idea. I'm not super heavy at the moment as far as the big picture goes, but for me (at 5' 0" tall), I am currently the heaviest I've ever been. Ug. Guess getting married, turning 30 and taking the winter off riding (we moved the horses to our new farm and didn't have an arena yet) wasn't a good combination for my weight! The thought of getting back into showing this summer and putting on breeches in front of people again has got me thinking that I should really try to develop some more willpower re: calories and get back to being more active again soon... ha ha!

Anyway, for the OP, I think you and your horse look like a great pair - I wouldn't worry at all. Eventers are definitely way less concerned w/ looking perfect, effective riding is much more important. So good Luck and have fun!!!

And as far as how weight impacts your horse, I'd just like to agree that I've seen many skinny riders that sit way too 'heavily' on their horse, too much driving and interfering, etc. I've also seen heavier riders that have a very 'light' seat and their horses go great. I think as long as your horse isn't too small (which your isn't, no worries), it is much more the way that you ride that makes the difference.

Fancy That
Apr. 13, 2007, 07:05 PM
Fancy that--how tall are you? You look like you are about my size (5'2"). I would love to be 115 lbs, but it is just really hard for me. If I am working out and eating well, I can get down to a weight of 120 (BMI of about 22), but now am a few pounds over that. It's hard when you're short! I will never have toothpick legs!
Here's a pic from me in Ireland:
http://home-and-garden.webshots.com/photo/2301859300098357527tvTuFg

Hi. I'm about 5'4" and could never get under 120! 130ish is my norm.... You look great! And definitely not chunky at all!

excowgirlie
Apr. 13, 2007, 07:20 PM
my heart goes out to all of you that feel the extra weight may be hindering performance and/or how others perceive you...I myself found that the 50 pounds that had crept up on my 5'4" frame the past 5 years really effected my riding, and decided to do something quite a bit dramatic...I spent 17 thousand dollars on a lap band, had it done in january, and so far have lost 20 pounds...about 2 pounds a week..yes, I am doing it for ME, but I am doing it just as much for my HORSE..I can tell his back isnt bothering him as much as it did 20 pounds ago..and I am becoming more confident and agile...if I hadnt gotten back into riding, I honestly dont think I would have done this..but I did, and I dont regret it A BIT>>flame away if you must...

Fancy That
Apr. 13, 2007, 07:25 PM
my heart goes out to all of you that feel the extra weight may be hindering performance and/or how others perceive you...I myself found that the 50 pounds that had crept up on my 5'4" frame the past 5 years really effected my riding, and decided to do something quite a bit dramatic...I spent 17 thousand dollars on a lap band, had it done in january, and so far have lost 20 pounds...about 2 pounds a week..yes, I am doing it for ME, but I am doing it just as much for my HORSE..I can tell his back isnt bothering him as much as it did 20 pounds ago..and I am becoming more confident and agile...if I hadnt gotten back into riding, I honestly dont think I would have done this..but I did, and I dont regret it A BIT>>flame away if you must...

You go girl! I, too, feel that the extra weight does affect the horse. Not sure what a lap band is, but any way you lose weight is up to you! :) If you're healthier, happier (and horsei too) that's a good thing!

excowgirlie
Apr. 13, 2007, 07:33 PM
not to veer off course, just an fyi-a lap band a laproscopic procedure in which a band is placed around the top of your stomach, with a port (located underneath your skin, about 6 inches above your belly button)that you get periodically "filled" with saline, which constricts your stomach opening so you CANT eat too fast, MUST chew your food thoroughly, and you get full on about 1/8 the amount of food youre used to...

CJ4ME
Apr. 13, 2007, 08:21 PM
What I love about eventing is that people aren't watching you and twittering...they are busy worrying about their own rides...its just a different feel that H/J.

If you ride well, try hard and are pleasant to be around, the eventing world will welcome you.

sprite
Apr. 13, 2007, 08:44 PM
For me, a timely thread :)

I had my thyroid out in Nov and have gained, maybe 10lbs? since then- on top of the 5 or so I gained when my dog died last spring and I no longer had a walking companion :( Plus, I got promoted at work and went from a very physical job to sitting behind a desk part of the day. Sigh. And it was a long cold winter, LOL. Yup, Queen of Excuses, thats me!

I have a fairly petite TB that is coming back off of lease soon and I'm hoping to whip myself back into some kind of shape this summer- I've been riding a friend's big warmblood who makes me feel small, and trying to watch the food intake. Yeah, at Easter, when mom sends chocolate. Good luck!

I have to say I appreciate knowing that I'm not the only one out there! To the OP- I think you and your lovely horse look like a good match.

And for what its worth, I used to ride with a girl who was extremely overweight. She was very short, and VERY round. Her horse was a large pony sized Arab- and they were a SUPER pair. The rider had a lovely light, balanced seat which I think makes all the difference- the same horse with a stick thin unbalanced rider would not have done well at all. Weight is only a small part of the equation! (Says to self..repeat after me...)

fergie
Apr. 13, 2007, 09:01 PM
O.K., now you're making me sad - talking about bands in your stomach, etc.. I know that losing weight is easier said than done, that food can be an addiction (and you have to keep eating to stay alive) etc., etc. - that's not what I meant at all....
As for Becky Holder - I WISH I could ride as well as she does on a bad day. And Buck could get a camel around X-C! Clearly, these riders are talented regardless of their weight....
And See U at X: I did not really expect an answer to the "boob" question, that was just sarcasm.... I wish I had just a little of you boob problem - just maybe a little jealous here. You don't owe me or anyone else explanations for why you are the way you are!
The OP should do what she wants. Who cares what the "others" at the event think? It just matters what YOU think!
I am just always thinking of the other point of view, and the horse is always first and foremost on my mind. As for those "easily offended" - GROW SOME THICKER SKIN!!!!

Noctis
Apr. 14, 2007, 01:25 AM
Luise: Ever huffed and puffed from pain? Try it some time. I can bike 15 miles no problem, and treadmill (because of the shock absorbing) 5 a day (biking 2x a week). I'm fit. I've got good cardio. I have muscles guys want (lol or tease me for). But I still huff and puff away because it HURTS. (we won't go into the excercized induced asthma..lol)

You go girls, you all look GREAT. Great riders, and confident. THats what its all about eh?

luise
Apr. 14, 2007, 08:42 AM
Noctis--I am referring to those people who indicated that they can't climb a hill or walk a XC course because they are huffing and puffing (and clearly not in shape) (not from pain or a joint problem!). Furthermore, WALKING should not put anyone in pain who doesn't have any joint problems or other physical problems. Hell, I hiked for 7 hours in the Andes up and down hills at altitude, and yes, I did breath heavily, but I was able to finish the hike! All I am saying is that no one who is "fit" (again, without joint or other problems), should be huffing and puffing after WALKING a XC course. Walking a course is not the same as running or biking. Your huffing and puffing is because you get the cardio workout! I think we're just referring to two different things...

Noctis
Apr. 14, 2007, 08:50 AM
:-) sorry about that. guess reading late after working a night isn't my best time eh?

AppJumpr08
Apr. 14, 2007, 09:02 AM
Just wanted to drop in and mention that there are all sorts of different body types in this world... I don't care what kind of diet Buck goes on, he's never going to be a twig (can you say hockey player's thighs?! :D) - and I'll tell you right now that even though I don't struggle with my weight, I certainly do with fitness and core strength!!!
Every single person out there has some kind of battle they are fighting when it comes to getting fit enough to ride... and every one is hard.
I have a tremendous amount of respect for anyone who can pull it together to ride around a cross country course or show jump field and make it look effortless, regardless of weight, body type, or anything else for that matter!!!

Sonic Boom
Apr. 14, 2007, 09:12 AM
Oh yeah and about those thin people. Have you seen Mark Todd and William F-P ride? They have problems to compensate for as well. They are REALLY tall and their upper bodies can really play into galloping and jumping. But they are very well-controlled on where they place themselves. Same difference that we have to consider.

LisaB, I just started a spinoff thread about other problems that come with being thin and riding as well. There are problems to compensate there, too, you are right!

Ladies, I think you all look lovely. I think if you want to lose weight and you are committed to doing it for YOU, then that is fabulous. I haven't seen anyone who posted a picture of themselves and their beautiful horses that I would *ever* look twice at, and though I am just beginning with the eventing crowd, I can't imagine anyone ever commenting, snickering, or anything like that.

You CAN be overweight (whatever your definition of that might be - it so depends on your body type) and fit. When I weighed 30lbs more than I do now, I was perhaps a tad overweight...but I felt stronger and better then than I do now!

My only concern is eating healthy, and so long as you do that and exercise, you will find your balance. And, yes, overweight people are more prone to joint problems, but I'm way too skinny, and alas...both of my knees are going bad. So...there you have it. Can happen to any body type.

Ladies, you are wonderful, enjoy your horses, keep working at whatever weight you want to be, and will feel best at. What works for you and for your horse is what really, truly counts in our world.

Picasso
Apr. 14, 2007, 08:26 PM
After my 2nd baby (a horrific pregnancy full of steroids because we knew I would not go to term and had to get her little lungs developed) I was up to 270 pounds. I am 5'2. It was NOT pretty! I have lost quite a bit of that weight, still need about 20 pounds to get to my "ideal" 120, but I am beginning to lose hope as its been 8 years since this child was born....I also have DDs, but I had those when I weighed 105 pounds, what are you gonna do?

But that is not the point of this thread. I gained weight SO quickly with that ordeal, my skin on my thighs stretched to the point of no return. I carry my weight in my thighs, add to it the extra skin, it makes getting my leg back and in the right spot difficult at best for dressage. That being said, I have never had a person tell me I was too chunky monkey to ride. As I get back into this, I am hoping the thighs firm up, and I'll see you all out there in be BBN courses until I get super brave and do BN! :lol:

ps Why oh why do the breeches have to be WHITE?

Chipngrace
Apr. 15, 2007, 11:42 PM
OP here...

WOW, I did not expect this thread to get so large, and I thank everyone for your advice, encouragement, pictures and all that great stuff. I have been reading the past few days but unable to post because I was reading from work and then last night the forum had some down time right as I tried to post, grr.

First of all, I didn't mean to offend anyone when I said "stick" I know there are people who are thin and battling their own struggles, so I definitely not mean that as an insult at all!

I am working on the fitness thing. I hit the treadmill about 4 times a week, sometimes more, depending. Today a prelim eventer at my barn invited me out to ride with her in the cross country field while she did trot sets and she was going to finish with a canter. I figured this would be a good time to see where my mare and I are fitness wise and can always stop if we need to.

My mare was great, she was peppy the whole time and I posted lightly for all the trot work and then was in two point for the canter work. The only time I sat was going down hill, I think we're supposed to? I didn't SIT like dressage sit, but just put some weight down in the saddle and held my abs and shoulders back to help her balance. At the very end we did a long stretch of prelim gallop. OH MY GOSH. Who knew? I don't think I've galloped like that before, I did not know there was a point where the gallop lost its rocking motion and was just straight across and when you can no longer hear your horses hooves hitting the ground. It was amazing and surprisingly not scary at all. 15.3 hands of Paint fuzziness kept up perfectly well with 18 hands of sleek TBness. It was a great time, though I definitely feel my abs and gluts :lol:

My mare is quite sound, even with my weight. I've been riding her for almost 7 years and she has some mild hock issues, she has never been lame on them but they don't flex perfect. We did injections because we thought they were bothering her, but it ended up being a hoof bruise in the front. She needs shoes now which she never did before, but I've got a good shoer so that's working out well. I asked the vet point blank if it were my weight, he told me that arthritis is a fact of life for stock breeds, and her conformation didn't help her at all (she's posty in the back) though if I do start to experience any more problems I will take her to one my clinic's lameness specialists. It's really easy for me to tell when she's even a little sore because of her facial expressions or her behavior, another plus of having a horse for a long time :)

I'll definitely keep you updated on how everything goes. It was just a fabulous weekend. Friday night I jumped a 3' fence for the first time in a long time (remember my post a few months back about my 2'6" mental road block? we just hopped on over that road block and kept going ;)). Saturday I took her for a walk up the gravel road with the fabulous weather we're having in MN right now. Then today riding in the cross country field. Everything is going way better than I ever anticipated.

CBudFrggy
Apr. 15, 2007, 11:53 PM
At the very end we did a long stretch of prelim gallop. OH MY GOSH. Who knew? I don't think I've galloped like that before, I did not know there was a point where the gallop lost its rocking motion and was just straight across and when you can no longer hear your horses hooves hitting the ground. It was amazing and surprisingly not scary at all. 15.3 hands of Paint fuzziness kept up perfectly well with 18 hands of sleek TBness. It was a great time, though I definitely feel my abs and gluts :lol:


I love galloping my TB down the canal banks down here! Nuthin' like it! :D

eventamy
Apr. 16, 2007, 10:35 AM
I'm currently 35 weeks pregnant and have gained more with this pregnancy then my last (first). I started out pretty "fluffy" to begin with!
I have a small horse at 15.1, he's definitely not too small for me and we do well together. I have short legs too and riding anything over 16 hands, unless extremely slab sided simply doesn't work!
I'm so looking forward to getting back in the saddle after popping this baby out! I miss riding, but I also miss my jeans and know that getting ready for competitions and schooling trials helps me a lot. My horse isn't fit right now, so to help prepare him for post-baby me he's going to my trainer's in a few weeks for a tune up and to get more fit himself. Once this baby is out I'll continue my walking regimen (I was walking a lot during this pregnancy, but she's dropped now and I'm WADDLING more then I'm walking and man does it hurt!).
We had this conversation about this time last year, closer to May though.
I am also of the belief that a fit rider is different from a skinny rider. Just look at one of my idols, Becky Holder who kicked ASS on cross country at Rolex this year and will hopefully do the same this year! She's an amazing rider AND she has some thigh!
Your horse is beautiful by the way!

Janet
Apr. 16, 2007, 10:37 AM
No one ever called me skinny.

No one ever laughed at me about it either.

Catersun
Apr. 16, 2007, 11:10 AM
have your horse fart in their general direction. ;-)

CBudFrggy
Apr. 16, 2007, 09:16 PM
have your horse fart in their general direction. ;-)

LOL! Too funny!

Mariequi
Apr. 16, 2007, 11:08 PM
Well, I guess it's all relative. After 10 years of being away from eventing (I've never been without horses, but injured and retired and then yearling), I'm starting to ride at a local place and had my 4 year old backed in the fall and trying to work my way back. I ordered new breeches that are a couple of sizes larger and new half chaps and the old ones are tighter. Loooooong way to go. The instructor tonight said I obviously rode correctly, but needed to get fitter. Oh, ain't that the truth! Two point - shudder. One thing diff than when I started riding for the first time - I LIKE to canter. My first instructor thought I'd be the walk-trot champion. Then evented for years. Young 'un looks like good athletic, smarts and sensible combination, but who knows at my age. She's 5/8 TB/and Paint - I didn't know stock breeds had arthritic probs? Those heavy builds I guess. I need to watch her girth as well as mine.

Fjordling
Apr. 16, 2007, 11:58 PM
It's nice to see some people out there who are not the "perfect" idea of a riding body. I too am struggling with this. In the past 4 years I've gained a ton of weight. Still riding, but sigh! Not saying it's not my fault, but I have been dealing with a particularly interesting diabetic issue that has made it virtually impossible to lose it. ( we are talking 70 lbs in4 years) :eek: wow that hurts to actually write! My new mount is a 14.3 h fjord who weighs 1400lbs & I can barley fit both hands around his cannon. He has no issues carrying my fatness around, and to be honest I am A *good* rider.

to the op, go girlie, I have read your posts here and on UDBB, have fun with your ponies, do it, event and don't worry about anyone else.

as for the silly comment about jacket size, :no: ....even when thin, I can't find one as I am blessed with fff or g depending on whose measuring, They weigh about 50lbs. Much of my riding career has been spent learning balance and upper body control. I would love a breast reduction but am allergic to most anesthetics and go into anaphalexis...did I mention I am 5 feet tall?

When I was a youngster a very BNT was a judge at a show, I did not place. He went to my mother (easy to find as I was the only Mexican kid riding hunters) and told her, " don't let her give up, she has talent, she will just have to work harder than everyone else" I did work harder, I did fairly well after that. THAT was the kindest thing he could have done. He has since passed on, but I truely owe my riding career to him.

Tory Relic
Apr. 17, 2007, 01:53 AM
I have struggled with my weight my entire life (never been obese, but just 10-20 lbs more than I have wanted to be). So I know it is not easy to lose weight. People just need to take a little bit more control if they want to do something about it.

Sweetie, this is NOT struggling with weight. It sounds to me more like a Barbie doll fixation on the perfect weight. :rolleyes:

If I were back to the weight I was when I wanted to lose 10 or 20 lbs, I'd be so happy I'd post pictures all over the place (and the heck with the 10 or 20 lbs). Saying something is a matter of control is pretty meaningless; after all, you've been at it a lifetime and you still have that struggle going on. I think people get a number in their heads sometimes and that's what is the ideal weight. Maybe it is and just maybe it isn't.

I am exercising and eating right and I hope, like the OP, I'll have a bunch of it off by the fall. (NOT that I'm suggesting *she* needs to lose 80 lbs!) It's is pretty tough, though.

OP -- you and your horse are adoreable!!!! All the best luck for your fall eventing.

Tory Relic
Apr. 17, 2007, 02:12 AM
kudoos to you - when I started back riding in 2004 I weighed 250 lbs.

In 2005 I bought my horse and haven't looked back - I am tall - 5' 7 1/2" and very big busted - 42 DD - I will never be skinny but want to be fit.

Last year we evented a full season - I have lost 65 lbs since I got my horse and now ride 2 horses almost every day - I will be eventing one and showing the other in dressage.

Here are some pic's of me now - I am still not a stick (not used to offend - just using thread language) - never will be but I am having the time of my life and feeling better every day I ride my beauties

www.hotelfun4kids.com/images/horses/prody.jpg (http://www.hotelfun4kids.com/images/horses/prody.jpg)
www.hotelfun4kids.com/images/horses/asper.JPG (http://www.hotelfun4kids.com/images/horses/asper.JPG)


Here is our first event last year.

http://www.photosbybailini.com/gallery/view_photo.php?set_albumName=2006_GrandviewHT_May_ PTSr&id=130506_3206


YOU are my new hero! We are about the same height and am exactly your former weight! You've inspired me. I have the boobie issue, too, but I'm so old and saggy I could probably just duct tape them down and out of the way. :eek:

Your horse is beautiful.

Bravestrom
Apr. 17, 2007, 06:43 AM
I just turned 44 and have two boys that ride and show too. I started back riding after a 20 year absence.

Thanks for the compliments - I am really enjoying my babies - we have our first combined trial of the season this saturday. My girl is doing the dressage only but my fella and my kids and I are doing pre-training. Hope the weather holds out.

And as for the saggy boobs - I have found that my eventing vest holds them in really well.

luise
Apr. 17, 2007, 08:27 AM
Tory Relic--you have never met me in person, so you have no idea what my body looks like! So please do not tell me that I am not struggling! And do not call me Sweetie! I am only 5'2", with not a large frame, so an extra 10-20 lbs makes a big difference on me. Losing 15 pounds or so over the last few years brought my BMI from a 26/27 (overweight range) to 23 (normal range). For me that is the difference in 2-3 sizes of clothing. My body is FAR from Barbie doll. Far from it. I cannot wear a bikini, for example. I tend to carry my weight on my upper thighs/hips, tummy, upper arms a little. Because of my height and my largish hips, I have many problems buying pants that fit me properly. To get them to fit on my thighs, they are usually huge on my waist. And of course way too long. I say it takes a little more control, because I know that from personal experience! I don't always have the self control I should have, and as many people do often put food into my mouth without thinking about it. When you are short, the extra pounds cause a lot more problems then when you are tall.

RubyLink
Apr. 17, 2007, 07:28 PM
Sweetie, this is NOT struggling with weight. It sounds to me more like a Barbie doll fixation on the perfect weight

That's a stupid thing to say. It's not about the lbs, it's about the frame. An extra 10-20lbs on a 5'2 person is a lot different than an extra 10-20lbs on a 5'10 person. My mom is 5' and she has been struggling with that extra 20lbs on her small frame. To you that might not sound like a lot, but her Dr. is concerned about this extra weight and the health problems that can be caused by this.

To the OP:
While I am a big advocate of being just as physically fit (fit does not necessarily mean thin) as your horse (or what your horse should be) you can't get fit if you don't exercise. So do that on the back of a horse and enjoy yourself. Lose weight (which is sounds like you want to) the fun way and ride your horse. But also remember, thin girls get just as much flac as overweight girls. It might not seem like it but the terms people use might seem ok to the speaker when it really is hurtful to the people they are talking about. My roomie is 5'7 and 100lbs. She is constantly having to deal with the "stick," "twig," "barbie-doll," etc comments. She can't eat fruit or a salad without someone making a comment about her being anorexic. So go show, work on becoming a healthier person, and ignore the people who make nasty comments.

luise
Apr. 17, 2007, 07:46 PM
Thank you Britt5286!

NRB
Apr. 17, 2007, 10:24 PM
Hey there; to the OP. As a rule, eventers tend to be friendly helpful people. So go event and have some fun! You and your mare look great!

To the folks looking for the Area2 diet pool. I won that sucker last spring, lost something like 11 or 14 pounds in 8 weeks and earned 500 bucks. For me the motivation to compeate and win money really helped me get off my duff and loose the weight that I had been talking about loosing for years. I'm 5'4" and weighed 158 tops, went down to 133, now back up to 140. I still use the tools that I learned from my "Diet Pool" experience. It was a lifestyle change for me, not a "diet". Anyway, pester Yvonne Lucas on this BB she posts as yventer.

Debbie
Apr. 17, 2007, 10:49 PM
Would anyone be interested in a COTH Eventer's Diet Pool modeled after the Area II one? If so, I'd be happy to pick yeventer's brain and then organize it. I need to lose some lbs and competition is always a key motivator for me! PM me if you're up for it and I'll get crackin' on the details.

RubyLink
Apr. 17, 2007, 10:56 PM
Debbie- I would participate in something like that. I need to tone up and it would be great to have people to do it with. Like you said, competition is a great motivator.

missamandarose
Apr. 18, 2007, 09:45 AM
Would anyone be interested in a COTH Eventer's Diet Pool modeled after the Area II one? If so, I'd be happy to pick yeventer's brain and then organize it. I need to lose some lbs and competition is always a key motivator for me! PM me if you're up for it and I'll get crackin' on the details.

Absolutely! Ive put myself on huge salads with lunch and dinner already! I can't wait (weight?) Thank you for offering to put this together!

Chipngrace
Apr. 18, 2007, 05:29 PM
I'm in!!

Debbie
Apr. 18, 2007, 07:33 PM
I'm getting the details on how the Area II group does it and will put together a PM so we can chat about it! I think it would be a huge motivator for me! If anyone else wants to join in drop me a PT!

Picasso
Apr. 18, 2007, 07:58 PM
Debbie,

I am certainly in!

Mariequi
Apr. 18, 2007, 09:16 PM
Tory, I contacted you once to see if I knew you because I lived in Columbia and Aiken for a long time. You look great. Tell me about your horse in the last picture.

Hey, I doubt I'll even this year with my 4 year old, but plan to be on her while I'm working my way back on the school horses. Would love to get in on a pool with you. I started my walking plan on the Rolex course today (not roped yet and I didn't walk on the approaches!) Am hoping to interest people in the office to walking. Some days it seems that half the people there are walking. People who don't work there bring bicycles and dogs after hours. Would be a waste. And then I can go home and work Dublin and not feel guilty about no exercise. I'm in!

Hidden
Apr. 18, 2007, 10:55 PM
I'm in on the pool as well.. I need help!

CurlyLindsay
Apr. 18, 2007, 11:10 PM
Would anyone be interested in a COTH Eventer's Diet Pool modeled after the Area II one? If so, I'd be happy to pick yeventer's brain and then organize it. I need to lose some lbs and competition is always a key motivator for me! PM me if you're up for it and I'll get crackin' on the details.

Can a lurker/wanna-be-eventer currently too chicken (and chubby!) to jump get in on the action? :lol:

citydog
Apr. 18, 2007, 11:44 PM
Would anyone be interested in a COTH Eventer's Diet Pool modeled after the Area II one?

Me. I really need some motivation.

missamandarose
Apr. 19, 2007, 09:07 AM
Can a lurker/wanna-be-eventer currently too chicken (and chubby!) to jump get in on the action? :lol:

You and me both... I think I've been lurking about a year, and only started poting once this thread came up. Im sure you can join in!

Malatonn
Apr. 19, 2007, 12:03 PM
Thanks for offering Debbie. If you get it together, I'm there:)

Debbie
Apr. 19, 2007, 12:33 PM
I'll work on getting it set up over the weekend and then will let everyone know the scoop. The more the merrier to PM me if you'r interested!

criss
Apr. 21, 2007, 03:08 PM
Kudos and good luck to y'all with the group you're setting up.

That said, all y'all skinny people who "struggle" with that whole freakin' 10-20 extra pounds, who have trouble finding pants that fit*, who are upset that people think you're anorexic for the totally nonsensical reason that no one ever sees you eat anything but salad (gee, why would that make anyone wonder?)...you can all kiss my @$$.

I'm fat by anyone's standards. My jeans are Lane Bryant size 22. Yesterday, I walked four miles to the barn (my truck was in the shop), then proceeded to do several hours of barn work, longe my greenie, and teach a lesson, and while my ankles hurt today from being on my feet in ratty old sneakers all day, at no point did I need to stop and take a rest, and I'm currently about the least fit I've ever been in my life. Today I will ride said greenie on his first trail ride in over a year (he's been lame, we moved, etc). Think whatever the h3(( you want about my fitness, but spare me your sanctimoniousness.

Oh, and guess what? I'm short, too. Yes, the pounds show more on me than they would is I were 6" taller, but what of it? Fortunately, life is not a beauty contest. Yes, it would ease things a bit on some fronts were I a skinny blonde with big, unnaturally perky boobs, but we all have our limitations, and the real issue is how well we learn to deal with them, whatever they are.

*News flash: Every single person who's ever put on a pair of non-custom-made pants has had this problem, so it has nothing to do with being fat or thin, just that not one of us is built exactly like the fit model used to create the garment.

RubyLink
Apr. 21, 2007, 03:32 PM
That said, all y'all skinny people who "struggle" with that whole freakin' 10-20 extra pounds, who have trouble finding pants that fit*, who are upset that people think you're anorexic for the totally nonsensical reason that no one ever sees you eat anything but salad (gee, why would that make anyone wonder?)...you can all kiss my @$$.

Hey Criss,
Try this on for size and kiss my a$$. I love how you think people who aren't your body type should shut their mouth and stop complaining. It's not ok to criticize a body type that fits into the overweight category but it totally is ok to criticize a body type that is doesn't fit into the overweight categroy. Way to be hypocritical. According to your post in regards to the salad thing, I should be able to make the same stupid type inference about you being overweight when you eat something like a hamburger, ice cream, or anything along the lines. Or is that not ok because it applies to you?

It's ignorant people like you who make my mom feel guilty that she is concerned about those extra 20lbs even though her Dr. told her that those extra 20lbs can cause a lot of health problems. And yes, for the record I want my mom to lose weight for HEALTH reasons. Some people actually think more about the health issue of being overweight than the vanity issue. Go figure.

It's ignorant people like you who gives sh!t to my roommate everytime she eats anything that isn't a million calories. It's not her fault that she is thin and yet you seem to think it is ok to insult everyone who isn't your body type.

It's ignorant people like you who make others feel guility about their size when it is different than yours.


Yes, it would ease things a bit on some fronts were I a skinny blonde with big, unnaturally perky boobs

The grass is always greener on the other side right. I mean, skinny blondes with big boobs never have to suffer like you, right? They have the world layed out at their feet.

Grow up and realize that everyone has problems with their weight whether it is being to thin or to big. Just because someone isn't your size doesn't mean they don't have problems with their size.
Britt

luise
Apr. 21, 2007, 06:24 PM
Hey Criss,
You seem to think that only morbidly obese people have a problem with their weight. Apparently, people who are a little overweight should suck it up and be happy. Well, at least there is clothing made for you! Sorry that I don't want to spend an extra $50 on alterations every time I buy something because my hips are too big to fit into what I should fit into. Maybe I should just spend that extra money, eat whatever the hell I want, and shut up, right? Maybe I should not care about my health. Again, you are in no position to comment about someone when you have never met them. Everyone has their own issues to work with. I never asked for anyone's sympathy--I was just trying to say we're all in the same boat in one way or another. Britt is right. You do need to grow up. I have many patients who have lost that extra 10, 20, 30, 50, 100lbs, you name it, and have been able to stop their blood pressure medications, don't have anymore problems leaking urine because of their obesity, etc.

sidepasser
Apr. 21, 2007, 08:04 PM
Kudos and good luck to y'all with the group you're setting up.

That said, all y'all skinny people who "struggle" with that whole freakin' 10-20 extra pounds, who have trouble finding pants that fit*, who are upset that people think you're anorexic for the totally nonsensical reason that no one ever sees you eat anything but salad (gee, why would that make anyone wonder?)...you can all kiss my @$$.

Well gee thanks - I really appreciate that..as I am about 20 lbs overweight and I do struggle with it and I do have problems finding pants that fit and I do eat salad non-stop..like a rabbit..and that is why I lost the freakin 40 lbs last year as I weighed 170 and went down to 130 and now find myself back up to 150 because I quit smoking and now eat everything in my blooming house and would eat everything in my neighbor's too if they'd let me in.

So while you may think your ass is made for kissin, let me tell ya..it ain't ALL THAT...

and I have always been thin so being fat for me is being 20 lbs overweight..going from a size 6 to a size 10 is a huge problem when one doesn't have the money to buy new clothes cause one's horse is requiring loads of vet calls..and that is more important and another reason I am eating myself into a size 12 as we speak..I am very worried about my horse.

I will lose the weight, but right now it is a struggle to stop putting food into my mouth..what is worse? To die of cancer or die of heart disease and diabetes because I am overweight..either way - I'm still dead as a doornail...
some days I think "why fight it?" no one is getting out of this life alive anyway..

so just because you have your problems doesn't mean the thinner fat people don't have theirs...it's all relative.

criss
Apr. 21, 2007, 11:19 PM
Okay, we should all calm down, including me. I should start by saying that I, in real life, never, never judge anyone else for being too thin. I would never comment on a person's dietary habits if I weren't worried that she was going to end up in the hospital because of them in the immediate future (I once had an acquaintance/classmate who went to the dining hall and ate a huge plate of bell peppers and mushrooms and drank a diet coke, every single day, and I knew she also ran several miles every day, and yes, I did tell her I was worried, but she was clearly anorexic and I really worried she'd collapse and die, but other than her...). I don't know if that makes you feel any better or not.

I'm sorry, I do get irritated when people who are thinner than I was at twelve start posting pictures of themselves and whining about their thighs, same as I do when people whose horses cost more than my house whine about all the hard work they've had to put into training. I spent a long time--like, all my teenage years, and well into college--feeling completely sure that I was a worthless human being because I just didn't have the willpower to be hungry all the time (not that it made a difference--I have gained more weight on diets than at any other time, and never lost any, even on very restrictive diets), and while I'm over that now, I'm not--I will never be--over feeling like people who are just a little unhappy with their bodies have the right to tell me they feel my pain. I had things said to me on a daily basis that I will never repeat to anyone because I don't think anyone should have to hear them, and 99% of them were about my weight; I get that kids are mean, but seriously, you have NO IDEA.

I also have had trainers tell me I was too heavy to ride certain horses--Trakehners, Irish Sport Horses, not wee ponies--because of my weight, despite the fact that (male) trainers far heavier than me rode those same horses every day. I'm relatively sure my size has cost me working-student jobs, and chances to ride with certain trainers, not because it compromised my ability to do the job, but because people don't want to be tainted by the association.

Like other riders my size, I have the very devil of a time finding riding clothes that fit, which may seem like a whiny thing, but it's kind of like the marginalization people of color experience when a "nude" colored bandaid is a dozen shades different than their own skin--you don't exist, you are too far outside the norm for reasonable people to even think of. And then let's not get into what George Morris has to say! So yes, it costs me in both life and in riding, but most of the costs are because other people have issues with me, not because my size causes me physical, emotional, or other issues.

You may think you're fat, that your thighs are huge, that you need to lose 20 lbs, and that's too bad. I do, truly, understand what it's like to fight your own body, and to feel bad about yourself when you lose the fight. It's just totally, utterly different than being someone who is fit, healthy, has a healthy and accurate body image (well, most of the time, anyway, especially when I don't read threads like this)...but is treated like a leper by people who, with their 10 lbs to lose, fear being tainted by the Deadly Fat. I've fought too hard for my mental health, against people who said they understood, but You have such a pretty face, dear...so yeah, I get kind of upset when people try to co-opt the space I've carved out for myself at such very, very great emotional cost.

criss
Apr. 21, 2007, 11:45 PM
Hey Criss,
You seem to think that only morbidly obese people have a problem with their weight. Apparently, people who are a little overweight should suck it up and be happy. Well, at least there is clothing made for you! Sorry that I don't want to spend an extra $50 on alterations every time I buy something because my hips are too big to fit into what I should fit into.

Well, that might be your problem right there. What you "should" fit into? What's that all about? What you should fit into is pants that fit. Now, unless you make them yourself, have them cutom-made, or have them altered, you will never have pants that fit exactly. Neither do I, neither does freakin' Kate Moss.



Maybe I should just spend that extra money, eat whatever the hell I want, and shut up, right? Maybe I should not care about my health. Again, you are in no position to comment about someone when you have never met them.

Hmm, yeah, good idea. Guess what I had for dinner, Luise? A bowl of homemade, low-fat, low sodium veggie soup, with two slices of whole-grain bread. Oops, I buttered them, guess I don't care about my health. Guess what, Luise? My mother, a skinny, fit, vegetarian, died of cancer three years ago right after her 60th birthday. Don't assume. Don't ever, ever, presume to think you know what I care about.



Everyone has their own issues to work with.
True dat.


I never asked for anyone's sympathy--I was just trying to say we're all in the same boat in one way or another.
The he3[[ we are.


Britt is right. You do need to grow up. I have many patients who have lost that extra 10, 20, 30, 50, 100lbs, you name it, and have been able to stop their blood pressure medications, don't have anymore problems leaking urine because of their obesity, etc.
Ooh, scary. My blood pressure is low-normal, Luise. I don't piss myself. Think I'm immature if you want, it's really no concern of mine.

I agree that I should be calmer about this issue, and I am sincerely sorry if I have hurt the feelings of people who are going through traumatic life experiences and have gained weight as a result. My own trainer, who'd been my trainer for fifteen years, sat me down to tell me I needed therapy to deal with my mother's death, and that she could tell I was in trouble because of all the weight I'd gained--when I hadn't put on an ounce, she just thought it was a good excuse to try to get me to lose weight so she wouldn't have to apologize for me at events! (and yes, I knew she was embarrassed by my weight, all along, but I stuck with her because she made me ride better than anyone else ever did). There are indeed ways in which we can sympathize with one another, and I'm sure we have more in common than otherwise. That doesn't give you the right to be sneakily presumptuous, whether you're a doctor or whatever.

Anyhow, I promise I am not usually this ill-tempered--this is, obviously, a particular hotbutton issue for me--but in any case I need to go to bed now, especially after what just happened (special bonus late-night news!): I'm sitting here typing, and I hear loud "Ow"-type noises (and some colorful language) from upstairs, where my fiance is waiting for me to come to bed. So I go racing up the stairs, thinking he has slipped on the rug and knocked his teeth out on the bedpost or something, or has broken a bone or is bleeding profusely. I burst in the bedroom and see...his skinny legs sticking up from between the bed and the wall, where all 6' of him is folded up in the dog bed. Apparently he sat down on the bed to set the alarm, turned the inconvenient way, for some reason, to set it back down on the bedside table, and slipped off the bed, knocking his head on the wall and his arm on the radiator (fortunately not on, as warm as it's been). I am laughing so hard it's difficult to type this, but I thought this conversation could use some unexpected laughter. :)

JAGold
Apr. 21, 2007, 11:55 PM
Criss, how is it your place to decide who is "fat enough" to feel that they have experienced discrimination, stigmatization, or anguish because of their weight? How does someone who may weigh less than you saying, with the best of intentions, "I'm struggling with those things, too" take anything away from your struggles or your "space?" Acceptance and tolerance and good will are always good things, IMO. And they have to come from all sides. --Jess

criss
Apr. 22, 2007, 12:22 PM
It's not my place. Or yours, I'd like to point out.

All I'm saying is, the OP wanted to know that people wouldn't be rude or think badly of her if she went to an event, and it's a slap in the face--to me at least, and I can only assume it is to her as well--when people who post their pictures so we can see that in fact they're not in the slightest overweight are so eager to "commiserate". I have no trouble believing they really think they're too heavy, and really struggle with it, and I can honor that struggle, and respect the effort they put into it (even if I think life is too short to beat oneself up that way). But...it's just not the same as the situation the OP was worried about, where other people restrict your options in life because they disapprove. If you're the one restricting yourself, it doesn't really matter whether you're a size 2, size 20, or anything else--it's your issue and you can work on it yourself. It's not nonexistent, it's just totally different, and you don't get to tell me you feel my pain, 'cause you don't.

magnolia73
Apr. 22, 2007, 12:25 PM
Yikes!
I will say- It was much easier to walk into Lane Bryant and put on a 24 and have it fit than it is to find clothes now. My belly and butt fat is getting gone faster than my thighs (hmmm...do those EVER get smaller?) which makes for some frustrating pants sessions. But its OK, I'm healthier and happier and thank god for a-line skirts.

Look, it is hard for anyone to lose weight- except, it seems for men. :lol: Let's all get along, eat a bit less (or more if you are one of those people trying to gain weight), exercise and take care of ourselves.

magnolia73
Apr. 22, 2007, 12:30 PM
And Criss,
I agree that people who have never been truly obese can not understand how poorly society can treat large people. As I have lost weight, people have become much nicer to me at stores, restaurants etc. It's not juse nasty comments - it's like you don't exist. When I was at my heaviest, I did NOTHING. Too afraid to exercise because people would laugh, would not ride, rarely went out. And people do laugh and make mooing noises when they see a size 24 out on a bike. It's really quite sucky and when I go run I'm always waiting for the nasty comment (actually, once you become the type of fat that is OK with society, you get a lot of "YOU GO GIRL!")

JAGold
Apr. 22, 2007, 02:25 PM
It's not my place. Or yours, I'd like to point out.
Which is why I did not do so -- but you did, and continue to do so.

But...it's just not the same as the situation the OP was worried about, where other people restrict your options in life because they disapprove. If you're the one restricting yourself, it doesn't really matter whether you're a size 2, size 20, or anything else--it's your issue and you can work on it yourself. It's not nonexistent, it's just totally different, and you don't get to tell me you feel my pain, 'cause you don't.The point is that people perceive things differently. People who posted their pictures earlier to commiserate may feel like their options are being restricted because others disapprove. You have no idea how their pain compares to your pain. --Jess

criss
Apr. 22, 2007, 09:53 PM
JAGold,
Whatever. I'm sure some thin people who think they're fat do think people treat them badly for being fat. There's a world of difference between that and getting mooed at on a bike. If you have a complex about your body, that's sad, and I hope you get the support and help you need. If people openly say and do nasty things to you explicitly because of your size, that's discrimination, it's wrong, and no amount of support, therapy, or anything else is going to help (other than kowtowing to the gods of rabbit food and being hungry all the time, which, well, i like salad, but life's too short to not also eat the chocolate chip cookies). I don't pretend to understand the struggles of those with body-image issues I don't have (and we all have body-image issues, I'm certain, I just don't have the ones they have, evidently), but there's a vast difference between self-imposed misery and actual, material discrimination. It doesn't even mean one is unequivocally less bad than the other, they're just different.

JAGold
Apr. 22, 2007, 10:09 PM
I don't have a complex about my body :) I just don't like to see people chiming in with a "kiss my @ss" and a holier-than-thou attitude on what was a pleasant discussion. And I think it's patently absurd to claim that one anonomous person on the internet is in a better position than another to know what actual, material discrimination is. No one appointed you the final arbitor of what is real discrimination and what is self-imposed misery. (Though how we got from people who are overweight but apparently aren't fat enough to deserve your emphathy, all the way to anorexia, I do not know.) It's no more right to belittle or judge someone else's problems than to discriminate against someone for any reason. --Jess

CarrieK
Apr. 27, 2007, 12:39 AM
I've read this topic the day it was posted and have mulled over whether to respond or not, which is why it's taken me some days to respond. I'm certainly not interested in merely stirring the pot.

The topic started as a question of the perception of others and then diverged into self-perception and then some impolitic comments were made.

The question was: I'm fat and will I get mocked? If you've ever gotten barked at or mooed at, if you've ever had "helpful" strangers give you a critique because, of course fat people are too stupid to know what they look like, if you've ever been accused to being cruel to your poor, poor horse, then you can see where criss is coming from when the discussion turned to one of self-perception.

This reminds me of the book Bridget Jones' Diary which came highly recommended to me because I'm a Jane Austen fanatic. While everyone seemed to just adore Bridget and could identify, all I could think is that she's a neurotic idiot and needs to get over herself. The difference between my book friends and I was in the perception of others (me) and self-perception (Bridget and those who identify with her through their like circumstances and problems). When I read BJD I was fat, fat, fat! and the idea of some chick obsessing over 5 pounds was the height of self-indulgent, self-flagellating, self-loathing idiocy. (Kinda like criss' responses to some of the posters here.) That's what I thought personally. Politically, I thought: why are women always wrong, not matter what we do, and why do we hate ourselves? Is it real, or is it the way we think we have to be?

I've been barked and mooed at, I've been told I'm cruel to my poor, poor horse, I've been taunted and sneered at and snickered at. (And these comments were made by adults, these aren't childhood horrors I'm describing.) I'd be surprised if Bridget--and some of you here--experienced a bit of what I have. And, not meaning to speak exactly for criss, I think perhaps that's what went on here.

Also, if you're really fat, you're used to not-fat (or, to be politic, less-fat)women sidling up to you in and sighing, "I need to lose some pounds." and you know they're playing you so you'll exclaim: "Oh, no! You look great! What I wouldn't give to look like you!" or "You think you're fat, look at me!!" If you're really fat, you're used to women using you so they look better by comparison, using you for a compliment, using you to insult you without having to actually say the insult themselves (by making you insult yourself, I mean). (Of course, I should say "people" not merely "women" but sometimes we are our own worst enemies.) Again, not speaking for criss, but perhaps that's what she thought was going on here.

Anyway, to the OP: of course there are going to be judgmental idiots out there. But that's why you've got a middle finger (notice I didn't say 2 middle fingers: ladies do not double-flip; it just isn't done). Use it, my friend, and to heck with this idea of grace under insult, and to greater heck with the idea that you don't want to stoop to their level. People make comments because they know that deep down inside fat people know they are wrong and "deserve" what they get. People make comments because they know fat chicks won't talk back because we don't want to bring more disapprobation down upon us. Bite that! And use your finger as it was meant to be used!!

;)

(FWIW: I was fat, fat fat when I read BJD. Now I'm just fat, fat. 78 pounds less fat, BTW. But don't congratulate me on my discipline and dieting and exercise. It's all better living through chemistry. My husband (ex, now) Dear Janed me, and, well, anti-depressants worked wonders here.)
(Okay, the anti-depressants were really the catalyst, for 3 months I had no appetite and food tasted like sand, but they did make me a bit more manic--actually, just well, as in not-ill--and I did a lot of chores and walked a lot. Mostly because I couldn't stand to be at home.)

Gayla
Apr. 27, 2007, 05:15 AM
Amen sista!

Avra
Apr. 27, 2007, 08:44 AM
CarrieK, I think I love you.

missamandarose
Apr. 27, 2007, 12:02 PM
CarrieK, I think I love you.

I think I love you, too.

I know it can be hard to stand up to people who do nothing but insult you. This, I have experience with. My being a bit fluffy is my own fault, and I realise that and accept it. I just need to get my butt back into gear and eat a little less of this, and a little more of that. Same with my husband. But his mother just doesnt get that, and she is constantly throwing our being overweight (by... 20 or 30 pounds mind you... not 70 or 80) in our faces. Last summer (after 3 years), I had finally had enough and I told her very firmly that I did not care to hear her talk endlessly about diet and exercise and that hearing that we arent fit enough for her liking did not help encourage me or her son ONE BIT. She hasnt said anything since. But she did get me a subscription to Prevention magazine. *sigh*

It was a very hard thing to do, though. I didnt want to cause problems between my husband and his mom, or between me and my husband, but my own mother would never say anything like that to me, so I'll be damned if someone else's mom would! My hubby got very upset afterwards; he was brought up with the notion that "respect your elders" carries over into adluthood when your mom belittles you. He was mad for about a day and half, but it was something I had to get off my chest and confront my mother-in-law with. AND it felt GREAT! So go on... tell anyone who treats you that way to piss off!!

hey101
Apr. 27, 2007, 01:11 PM
I'm certainly not going to wade in to the too-fat-too-thin thing, but I wanted to make a comment on the issue of the AMOUNT of weight.

Take two riders that each weigh, oh, let's say 175 lbs. One is a beginner who happens to be 6' tall- "thin", by societal standards- and flops around on the horse like a wet rag.
The other is an accomplished, effective, advanced rider who happens to be 5' tall- "fat", by societal standards- and is as tight as a tick in the tack, and beautifully balanced with her horse.

which do you think would be better for the horse?

And from a personal, non-horse related example: I have done a few adventure races. And I'll take a heavier, well-balanced pack any day over a lighter pack that is unsecured and flopping all over my back. The first, while heavier, does not affect my balance or make me tired/ sore. While the second will make me ache and tired within a few minutes of strenuous exercise.

Just some thoughts. I commend any and all of you in your desire to be fit and healthy, no matter your external shape. :)

purpleice
Apr. 27, 2007, 03:13 PM
wow. i'll say what i have to say and then duck and run...

fat or fat fat or fat fat fat or skinny or thin or waif like, no one seems to have addressed what the op was really worried about...the fact that people feel it is ok to make fun of you because of your appearance.

in fact, all this fighting over who really feels pain...cursing at one another like school yard bullies... demonstrates NOT that eventers are a welcoming crew, but that people are just simply mean to one another.

why aren't you asking what is it about society or the horse world or whatever that makes people FEEL SO BAD about themselves...so bad that they continue the damn cycle themselves. so it's ok to turn that pain around, put MORE DISTANCE between you and others, because...well you've clearly experienced more pain.

audrey hepburn, delicate and dainty, physically one of the most stunning women (i think) to have stood in pop culture limelight. a lady in the truest sense, she dedicated her life not to perserving her looks as important and her only tool, but to human well being as a whole. do you know why she was so little and fair? because she suffered from malnutrition during WWII and her body was never able to recover fully.

wanna engage in the conversation about 'body image' and 'pain' in WWII context?

criticizing and deconstructing one another alienates everyone. well done. it's a lot more productive (and hopeful) if people actually stop and try to relate to one another, across differences. you know, be friends. there's a good chance you've both cried and laughed....perhaps even at the same thing.

good to see the body image issue will just keep on demeaning our society into insecure creatures.

(i purposely refuse to describe myself physically on here. it is not important. i value my other talents/skills/weaknesses much, much greater.)

criss
Apr. 27, 2007, 05:39 PM
CarrieK,
Yes to everything you said! (since you sounded worried about speaking for me)

To the "There's no need to be unpleasant" crowd that thinks it's ridiculous for anyone to try to draw a line between perceived and actual discrimination...I can only assume none of you has ever been mooed at. Or told she has a pretty face, it's just too bad about..... Or had any of the other innumerable, unmistakeably discriminatory experiences, from the outright vicious to the casually manipulative, that have been described here.

For some reason, despite all the progress our society has made in educating people to understand that it's wrong to discriminate on the basis of skin color, religion, etc, etc...it's still okay to discriminate against women, especially fat ones. I'm certainly not saying race relations in this country are great, that there aren't hate crimes against Muslims, gays, immigrants, or any other minority group; just that they are recognized as hate crimes and the victims and perpetrators are clearly recognized and regarded with appropriate sympathy/disgust, respectively, by people of any common sense. The same people who are outraged over Don Imus' recent remarks, or that Seinfeld guy's somewhat-less-recent remarks, often don't have any trouble with the idea of judging a woman's worth by her appearance (even/especially when the perpetrators of this type of denigration are female themselves). Somehow women have been lulled into thinking that it's all okay, that there's no more need for feminism, when in fact women are almost as restricted--just in less overt and therefore more damaging ways--as they were a generation or two ago.

We desperately need to band together, it's true. We desperately need to stop the name-calling, and in that way I am sorry for being so angry about this, but then on the other hand, allowing the manipulative behavior (that causes discrimination to be self imposed) to continue and turning the other cheek is actually what's causing the problem in the first place. So I wish that we could be unified in demanding fair treatment, including the right not to have our own bodies used against us as riders or as human beings, but since that's apparently not an option, I will stand up for myself, even/especially against other women.

JAGold
Apr. 27, 2007, 05:46 PM
To the "There's no need to be unpleasant" crowd that thinks it's ridiculous for anyone to try to draw a line between perceived and actual discrimination...I can only assume none of you has ever been mooed at.
For the third time, I did not say that there was no line between perceived and actual discrimination. I said that you don't have a monopoly on defining where that line actually is.

So I wish that we could be unified in demanding fair treatment, including the right not to have our own bodies used against us as riders or as human beings, but since that's apparently not an option, I will stand up for myself, even/especially against other women.
Where on this thread did anyone use someone else's body against her? --Jess

Beam Me Up
Apr. 27, 2007, 08:53 PM
There will always be someone in a better and worse position (in life, in riding, in weight).

Sure, I roll my eyes when I'm in the dressing room and hear the group of girls complaining about how huge they are, up to 110, can't get into the size 0 anymore, drank a non-diet soda, whatever.

At the same time, there are people who would long for for my position of having a body that (for the most part) can do what I want/need it to do.

Even for the heaviest of us, there are still people with more serious bodily issues who would probably trade bodies in a heartbeat for our health/mobility/freedom.

It's just part of the human condition to focus on what we don't have rather than what we do. I do it too--spend more time worrying about how I look in this outfit, etc. than on how lucky I am to be mobile and healthy.

CarrieK
Apr. 28, 2007, 12:47 AM
fat or fat fat or fat fat fat or skinny or thin or waif like, no one seems to have addressed what the op was really worried about...the fact that people feel it is ok to make fun of you because of your appearance.
Not to split hairs or sound antagonistic, but no, that's not what she was asking. She wondered if she was going to be mocked. She did not ask why people feel it's okay to mock. She wanted to know what kind of crowds, in general, eventers were, and whether people thought she was going to be made fun of.

I don't feel comfortable making sweeping statements about a diverse group of people, even ones with a common interest. But as someone who has been mocked because of my weight, and at horse events and by horse people, I thought I'd make a couple observations.

why aren't you asking what is it about society or the horse world or whatever that makes people FEEL SO BAD about themselves...so bad that they continue the damn cycle themselves. so it's ok to turn that pain around, put MORE DISTANCE between you and others, because...well you've clearly experienced more pain.
Why aren't we asking? Do we have to ask? Haven't we all been in the world long enough to know? Some people are just idiots. Some are cruel. Some feel they know all the answers in life and if we fatties would just listen to them they could "fix" us. Some people just talk and have no idea what impact their words may have.

Why would I "PUT MORE DISTANCE" between myself and others? Because those others, the ones who mock and sneer, mean nothing to me. Why in the world would I want to embrace someone who is cruel and judgmental? I don't. I won't. And I won't validate their opinions and internalize their cruelty by trying to reason with them, and I have no interest in "educating" them just like I have no interest in being "educated" by them. I did all that crap when I was younger; I have no interest in wasting my time with that now.

There's a movement, so to speak, in portions of the African-American culture (the hip hop culture, specifically) to demystify, to take back, the "n" word, to diffuse it of its pain and meaning. There's a similar movement, again so to speak, in portions of the feminist culture to take back the "c" word. And we've already seen the attempts to take back the "b" word: that's Miss B to you, or, "you say that like it's a bad thing."

So that's why I "encouraged," with a broad winkie-face following, the OP to just unleash that middle finger if anyone gives her grief. Diffuse the bomb and it won't hurt. If I call myself a fattie before you ("you" here not meaning you personally, of course) do, well, where do you have to go with your insult? You have to dig a little deeper because I took the easy insult away from you. Calling myself a fattie doesn't mean I hate myself. And the winkie-face meant to indicate that I was half-joking. Half-joking about the use of the finger, but not about calling bs on someone who attacks her.


Amen sista!

CarrieK, I think I love you.

I think I love you, too.
You guys are swell, thanks!

However, I don't look any slimmer standing at the rail, so I might as well be riding.
Now this to me is the Amen! comment of the thread! You go, BarbB!

Too Old for Pony Club
Apr. 28, 2007, 06:30 AM
To return to the orginal question...

For the last 3 years, I was an overweight eventer. My horse an I competed at Entry (2'9") and below, as well as doing Training level dressage and weenie jumpers. We NEVER had a jumping penalty, until our last event together where the weather was cold and windy and my old guy made it clear that he wasn't interested in playing the game that day.

My friends certainly supported me and my riding goals, as did my coach who owned the horse I rode. If other people were commenting on my weight or riding, well, we were zooming by too fast to notice!

However, I often felt embarrassed when I saw my event pics. I hated the contrast between my dimpled thighs and my horse's sweet, kind eye.

I'm currently on a year-long break from horses. Since I've been away, I've joined a gym, and lost 25 lbs (2 sizes! Woot!). I've got a long way still to go, but I am looking forward to returning to horses as a lighter, healthier and hopefully, better rider.

If you and your horse are safe and fit, just enjoy yourselves.

Sannois
Apr. 28, 2007, 09:58 AM
you look like me! :) I used to be 40 lbs thinner when I was eventing a few years back, I thought Iwas tubby then, I have since looked at pics of me from then and thought WOW I looked GREAT! Now not so great. BUT I dont think you should worry you and your horse will do great. Forget about everyone else! Its you and your cute mare. Have a blast! :yes:

purpleice
Apr. 28, 2007, 01:37 PM
carrie-
i think you missed the point of my post.

you don’t feel comfortable making sweeping statements (like generalizing people as idiots)? then why all the bitterness, not towards those who have mooed, but to other people who are uncomfortable in their bodies? i’m not sure why these attacks are towards the people on here, i’m not sure why you think everyone on here is trying to “fix” you. perhaps some actually would like to, i dunno, just be nice? but then again, you and criss have made it clear that unless we’ve been mooed at, none of use have the “right” to be empathetic.

would you prefer people not try? i’m confused, ya’ll aren’t happy with people who want to relate to you, but you have experienced more pain than…well you seem to think anyone… because of the mean things people say.

the movements you speak of also have counter arguments, ones who disagree with “reclaiming” derogatory titles. a lot of people feel as though that is another manipulation of those in power to make permanent the discrimination; from de jure to de facto. what better way to maintain the cruel ways than to socially normalize them (and you forgot a big one…the one with the most steam right now: gay rights and the ‘Q’ word). you asked why would you embrace their cruelty, (something that i don’t believe i encouraged in the least bit as my comments were a hope to diffuse this fighting over who is really fat and legitimate about being unhappy about it). well, not to split hairs, but it doesn’t seem that you feel very comfortable online calling yourself a “fattie,” are you in person? does that really make you smile and square your shoulders and be happy?

i second the move to flick someone off if they insult you on that level. but i feel as though a lot of people on here have been flicked off…for being afraid of being mooed at. that’s really nice and constructive.

i was removed from a place when my friend (i think ya’ll would call her fat fat, but i can’t really figure it out) was verbally assaulted due to her weight. according to all this, i had no right to stand up for my friend because…what, it wasn’t me? to me, loyalty and understanding (across diverse descriptions) are top priority. just as it pained me to see her in pain, she’ll listen to my insecurities and problems, physical or otherwise, without turning it back around to a poor-pitiful-me party. because everyone needs their hand held at some point, no matter what they look like.

so I’m now angry that you’ve gotten me angry. that was not the point of my post, in fact it was to try to do the opposite, to defuse the unnecessary attacks. all this “distance” and yet i haven’t read one post on here mooing at anyone else. so go flick the mooers off, don’t take it out on people who you view don’t deserve to feel insecure.

i read that you spoke for your masses. you did not need to repost them.

you seem to be content with not asking why…not trying change the way people treat one another based on appearance. so your only solution is to flick them off and degrade yourself?

ya’ll have succeeded in here.


and to the OP- one of the best things about eventing is that you spend several moments lost in the stride and rhythm of you and your horse galloping together. ribbons and such come secondary to being of one mind with your horse. have fun, smile, and ignore anything that would take away from that.

CarrieK
Apr. 28, 2007, 10:39 PM
I think you missed the point of my post.
Quite possibly. As, quite possibly, you've missed mine.

then why all the bitterness, not towards those who have mooed, but to other people who are uncomfortable in their bodies?
The problem with this virtual communication is that it is more virtual than communication. I'm not sure where you interpreted "all" the bitterness--was it in my discussion over BJD? One paragraph describing either the personal self-loathing or cultural self-loating of women who hate themselves because they're five pounds overweight? Because--in the case of Bridget herself--she obsesses over hitting a number on a scale?

i’m not sure why these attacks are towards the people on here, i’m not sure why you think everyone on here is trying to “fix” you.
I attacked no one who has posted in this thread. I was merely responding to criss and the discussion her comments caused, trying to say--and obviously not succeeding--that if you--you being the posters in this thread-- understood perhaps where criss is coming from that you can understand her annoyance.

perhaps some actually would like to, i dunno, just be nice? but then again, you and criss have made it clear that unless we’ve been mooed at, none of use have the “right” to be empathetic. would you prefer people not try? i’m confused, ya’ll aren’t happy with people who want to relate to you,
Again, virtual communication. But as I stated, not everyone who comes up and gives you--you being the overweight person here--advice and "emapthy" as you call it, is actually doing that. So I was pointing out that criss' anger might come from a history of being on the end of people purporting to do good when in fact they're not. Nowhere did I say that in fact people on this thread were doing that; I said that criss might have interpreted it that way.

the movements you speak of also have counter arguments, ones who disagree with “reclaiming” derogatory titles. a lot of people feel as though that is another manipulation of those in power to make permanent the discrimination; from de jure to de facto. what better way to maintain the cruel ways than to socially normalize them
Fair enough. That side of the discussion is constantly in the media, especially in music circles and in youth culture.

well, not to split hairs, but it doesn’t seem that you feel very comfortable online calling yourself a “fattie,” are you in person? does that really make you smile and square your shoulders and be happy?
Calling myself fat, or agreeing that I'm fat, is not an effort to make me happy, it's an effort to diffuse the cruelty of other people, to take the power out of their words.

but i feel as though a lot of people on here have been flicked off…for being afraid of being mooed at. that’s really nice and constructive.
If you're talking about the OP, well, obviously she has some concerns or she wouldn't have posted the question. If you're stating that I'm flipping the OP off for her concern and her reaction to it, you're wrong.

(i think ya’ll would call her fat fat, but i can’t really figure it out)
See, that's another thing. the fat fat, fat fat fat, was a tongue-in-cheek bit of humor, but like all humor, satire in particular, it's not universal.

so I’m now angry that you’ve gotten me angry.
:: humor alert :: Well, you could always flip me off. Diffuse the power of my words in a manner I'll understand. :: end humor alert ::

that was not the point of my post, in fact it was to try to do the opposite, to defuse the unnecessary attacks. all this “distance” and yet i haven’t read one post on here mooing at anyone else. so go flick the mooers off, don’t take it out on people who you view don’t deserve to feel insecure.
Again, I did not attack anyone on this thread.

So your only solution is to flick them off and degrade yourself?
:: sarcasm alert :: Oh, horrors! The shame of it all! :: end sarcasm alert :: Instead of bowing our heads and taking it, when I propose standing up to those who attack I'm told that I'm degrading myself. Well, obviously I don't agree and I don't care. For those who have mocked me and will mock me because of my weight, I give as good as I get. The way to diffuse a bully is to stand up to them.

Coup De Des
Apr. 29, 2007, 02:25 AM
Eat Well

Stay Fit

Die Anyway. ;)

alexn614
Apr. 29, 2007, 04:07 AM
Have you ever seen an obese Olympic athlete?
We should all care a little bit about what people think of us, because unfortunately, that is the kind of world we live in. I'm no skinny person myself, but I at least try to keep my weight in a healthy range. You are only kidding yourself if you think that how you look doesn't matter to people.


I think that there is a HUGE difference between "fit with a little extra" and "obese."

And yes, I am a 23 year old female, who was once a Fat Girl. At 13 years old, I was around 5'7" and weighed 200 lbs. I still rode. Girls at the barn weren't usually nice, but that was when we were, well, kids. I am now 5'8" and 150 lbs, but I have such a complex about looking fat. I honestly think other people still look at me and think, "what's she doing on that poor horse?" Then I see pictures of myself riding and I think, oh my god, I look FINE!!

It's odd because I look at the pic you posted and I was like, "What's she talking about? She looks great!" From what I know, eventers are definately very accepting, and I remember feeling a bit of pride when I went to Burghley last year and saw Becky Holder. I think one can ABSOLUTELY be fit and a bit overweight, and I also definately think that riding "counts" as cardio! :lol:

Nexta
Apr. 29, 2007, 05:21 PM
Being obese is not good for you or your horse.

Think of you --yes you --your health is affected by your obesity --there is no such thing as "fat and fit" -- the best exercise you can do for you and your horse is to only eat at the dining table and push yourself away from it before you are full.

Get healthy and get off the pounds

CarrieK
Apr. 29, 2007, 10:40 PM
Purpliece: re my comments about folks wanting to "fix" us, see nexta's comments above. :D

magnolia73
Apr. 30, 2007, 08:28 AM
Hey Nexta-
That's fabulous advice. Love it. I hope I see you at my marathon in a month. I'll just mow you down with my fat ass on the way to the finish line.

SBClancy
Apr. 30, 2007, 08:35 AM
I've been following this thread for quite some time. I chimed in at the very beginning and now I feel I have to speak up again.

Yes I am an overweight rider and in my early 40's. I have learned over the years that bad riders come in every shape and size. I think it's EXTREMELY unfair to say being overweight is not fair for your horse. I've seen women who are considered to have the perfect rider body who torture their horses day in and day out. They pull on their mouths, hang on their mouths, use their spurs and whip almost to the point of cruelty. To me this is much worse than an overweight rider. I cannot believe some of you are that prejudiced against overweight riders that you simply cannot see what is good riding and what is bad riding. Shame on every single one of you that has this prejudice. I think you need to look at yourselves before criticizing other people.

A week or two ago I was in my first CT in over 20 years and my horse's first one ever and we won our division. I guess the judge had no problem with my weight so why should any of you. Again good riding is good riding no matter what someone's weight is.

I'm done with this thread. I hope the moderators decide to shut it down. It's not a discussion anymore but character assassination.

Scootie
Apr. 30, 2007, 08:54 AM
Being obese is not good for you or your horse.

Think of you --yes you --your health is affected by your obesity --there is no such thing as "fat and fit" -- the best exercise you can do for you and your horse is to only eat at the dining table and push yourself away from it before you are full.

Get healthy and get off the pounds

And if you think you are making any kind of impression on those of us who have "alternative" body types, forget it.

Those statements say a LOT more about the writer than the subjects.

It sounds like someone needs a little help with their own personal issues and I'm not talking about the "heavyweights" on this thread either. :rolleyes:

criss
Apr. 30, 2007, 01:15 PM
JAGold,
I think Nexta just answered your question, in case Luise & co. hadn't already...

Scootie
Apr. 30, 2007, 03:18 PM
I will say that I consider myself to be one of the "fatter" people responding to this thread, and controlling for height, probably one of the "fattest". Yet you will never see me getting involved in any diet pools or other group based" weight reduction" efforts. My reasons for this are very well thought out, but very personal. On the other hand, I would not condemn or judge any woman in Western society for feeling negatively about their body size, despite my feelings of distress about normal and sometimes sub-normal sized women being over concerned about weight.

No, I don't like it and I don't like to see it, and I think it is absolutely horrible that what amounts to a medical procedure is being used as a sort of friendly competition or female bonding experience. Also, trying to avoid the "mainstream" mentality about this subject, which is so common place among friends and peers, can be tough.

I think being a little on the "old" side also helps, as this was more difficult when I was younger. But not many people really mess with me about it anymore. Or if they do, I don't acknowledge it, and most people with agendas don't really want to fool around with people who aren't going to provide the desired reactions.

It is true that sometimes in the horse world I feel like a target for excessive over-solicitation, too much helpfulness of the wrong kind and unsolicited advice. But it could be due to my being an older first time horse owner, or the fact that I have had to deal with physical problems that made me look more "incompetent" on horseback than I really am (which is bad enough as it is :winkgrin:) as much as it might be because of my weight. And, I have no doubt some people are too "polite" to say anything although they may feel justified in doing so.

In the last seven or so years I have been riding "seriously", only one person has actually come out and said something to me directly about my weight. I let her know this was not a negotiable subject between she and I. I am normally a mild-mannered, conciliatory type person, but I hauled off with a BIG LECTURE and wouldn't let her get a word in edge wise for what seemed like a good five minutes. I went on and on about the ill effects of crash dieting when I was enlisted in the US Navy during the Carter administration, about weight research is funded by the diet industry, and how I will never again do ANYTHING specifically for the sole purpose of losing weight (I can still eat properly and exercise for other reasons, can't I :)), and any other things I could think of to indicate this was NOT HER DAMN BUSINESS. I went on and on in my most authoritive tone of voice, bordering on snotty.

When I was done, she just kind of went "oh" and never said another word to me about the subject. Oh, she continued to whine and groan about her own "fatness" and I just went, "uh-huh", as before, but my personal business related to that topic from that point on went untouched.

Think of it like when you are dealing with a horse that insists on misbehaving and you make it clear through consequences that her would rather not do that anymore. A "come to Jesus" moment if you will.

Yes, very severe discrimination and harrassment exist, especially as we go up the weight-to-height ladder. Especially for women. But I have also spoken with women who have the "opposite" problem, and have no doubt that being scrutinized for not having a lot of appetite, or eating salads in public can't be a walk in the park. Body weight in our culture is as much of a moral and cosmetic issue, particularly for women, as anything else, but the worst is mostly directed at the heavier individuals.

In a lot of ways, this is a women's issue (not saying men are never harrassed and discriminated against--they are), in that our bodies are seen as public property. Weight and pregnancy, especially, seem to be fair game for what amounts to invasions of privacy by perfect strangers, most of whom have other priorities than our personal well-being.

I think a collective "come to Jesus" from ALL women might make a huge difference in how we are viewed in the public sector. But as we see from this thread, the issue of weight tends to be divisive. Perhaps because the deliniation between the "haves" and "have-nots" is obvious, despite varying criteria, and the fact that people can not always agree on the best approach.

I don't have any good solutions to offer, except to encourage balanced and intelligent dialogue between individuals. If that is at all possible.

luise
Apr. 30, 2007, 09:35 PM
Criss,
I really wish you would get over yourself. Why is it okay for you to criticize skinny people but it's not okay for others to suggest that overweight people, dare I say it, lose weight?
I don't even know why people are trying to argue (or maybe imply) that it is okay to be obese? Obesity is a huge problem in this country. Even if you are obese and don't have health problems now, you are at a higher risk of having problems in the future. For example:
-arthritis (from all that extra weight on your joints)
-hypertension, cardiac disease
-breast cancer
-diabetes
-endometrial cancer
See the CDC website for more info: http://www.cdc.gov/nccdphp/dnpa/obesity/consequences.htm
I'm saying that people should lose weight if they want to lead healthier lives. I'm sorry, but you may think that because you exercise regularly you can be obese and healthy. Not so true.
And don't you dare criticize my opinion that obese people should lose weight. I am a physician and if I didn't try to educate people about their health and their need to lose weight, it would be completely irresponsible of me.
And you may think Nexta is being nasty, but he/she is right--many people do eat too much.

2ndyrgal
Apr. 30, 2007, 10:13 PM
Now I'm just using Becky Holder as an example that you can be overweight and fit. If you don't think it takes fitness to ride xc at Rolex, you people preaching about all the horrible things obesity does to this country are just not getting it. Some of us can out run, out ride, out work and out think those of you with the "ideal" weight. We don't necessarily out eat you, we just have very efficient systems. I'm 5'4", weigh 155 and eat less than 1200 calories a day. Every day. I'm on thyroid meds for life, body temp is usually 96, bp 90/60. I get a ton of physical activity each day and I'm still overweight. We don't choose to be overweight, we just are.

luise
Apr. 30, 2007, 10:27 PM
2ndyrgal--I never said that overweight people can't "out run, out ride" etc thinner people. I said that people should try to lose weight for their own overall health. So don't tell me I don't get it. I deal with obesity and it's consequences everyday. also, obviously I don't know you, but based on your low body temp, and low-normal BP and need for thyroid meds, I question if you are on enough synthroid! I am sure though that you follow with your MD and your thyroid tests are normal. Also, eating less than 1200 calories is not enough. Refer to my earlier post about how our bodies tend to hold onto calories when we eat too little. Your system is "very efficient" because you are not feeding it enough! Also, you are barely overweight. Your BMI is 26, so I would not worry too much if I were you. (Losing 5-10 pounds would put you in a "normal" range.) Obesity refers to people with a BMI >30 (which would be if you weighed more than 180 lbs).

My point of my previous post was that yes, cardiovascular exercise and having good exercise tolerance is important. But it is still the extra weight that can get you in the end. And you can't argue with me about that! I can't even tell you how many endometrial cancer cases I have seen in obese women (these women have more estrogen from the excess fat, which increases your risk of endometrial cancer), or how many patients I have that are obese, hypertensive, diabetic, etc.

I just want people to realize that there are other (more important) reasons to lose weight besides caring about how you look to others.

Scootie
Apr. 30, 2007, 11:53 PM
And don't you dare criticize my opinion that obese people should lose weight. I am a physician and if I didn't try to educate people about their health and their need to lose weight, it would be completely irresponsible of me.
And you may think Nexta is being nasty, but he/she is right--many people do eat too much.

Hey, luise,

Isn't it also irresponsible for a physician to practice medicine on total strangers over the internet? If not downright unethical?

I mean these are people you don't know from Adam. How do you even know who on here is truly "obese" (depending on which definition), simply "overweight" or merely "self conscious." You know nothing of their true health status and history, including those of weight loss attempts and any consequences, including the untoward ones. I think you are being very unprofessional in ASSuming you have so much insight on each individual's personal health.

WHEN YOU HAVE NEVER EVEN LAID EYES ON THEM!

I'm not feeling very motivated right now as I am getting over an intestinal virus (not weight related, I can assure you as my skinny colleague had the same thing) or I would go looking for some of the studies I've seen regarding the attitudes of physicians, especially bariatric specialists toward the persons whom they serve. It's not very complimentary to the profession. I think you ought to get a grip on yourself because nobody said "excess" weight is actually healthy. But for many it is a fact of life in the here and now, whether or not they eventually lose (or gain) in the future.

And I do agree that criss ought to cool her jets (hear me out criss), because while I do truly hear where she is coming from, she is tending to be more part of the problem than part of the solution right now.

The same can be said for you. Simply telling perfect strangers (or even casual acquaintances) that they "need" to lose weight seems pretty simplistic for someone of your stated level of education and knowledge. We all know we "need" to do a lot of things, but we have to fit all these in to the greater schemes of our very complex lives. We've also all heard it before, yada, yada, yada.

If you are unable to listen to some of the dialogue that has gone on in this thread, and accept the fact that these are INTELLIGENT people who have actually given the matter a lot of thought, then you can not be expected to respond in any constructive manner. If you can not respond in a likewise thoughtful and intelligent fashion, you can expect to be criticized and ignored.

2ndyrgal
May. 1, 2007, 07:47 AM
First, I am a nurse, and never had a weight problem til I hit my late 30's. At one point, even on a sensible diet, excersize and thyroid meds, I weighed about 180. I tested WNL on my thyroid (low, but "normal"), and my doctor said I was on enough medication. After about 5 years of fighting the weight, I went to a weight loss specialist, who increased my thyroid meds, and put me on a calorie restricted diet about 2 months ago. I've lost 20 pounds in the last two months. Until my 30's, I ate like a linebacker, and weighed about 115 lbs. Do I think morbidly obese people should eat less if that and a complete lack of physical activity are causing them to be overweight? Of course, but most of the posters on this forum, are not lazy, overeaters. What they want is some validation that they won't be preached at, or ridiculed for being a larger than usual body type for a sport they love. Hell, Buck isn't exactly the poster child for the ab lounge, but the man can ride. My thinking is if your horse is willing to pack you around, and you can safely ride, then do so, and damn the people for whom "normal" weight comes easily. It isn't easy, it sucks to have to monitor every single bite you put in your mouth, and I hate taking drugs of any kind. I also hated my physical appearance and lack of energy. So I changed it. The downside is, the drugs do make me a bit jittery, and I now sweat the way I used to, which is like a field hand in Georgia in August, great if you are working in the barn, not so great if you are wearing a silk shirt to Rolex on a warm afternoon. Some people are like Thoroughbreds, and some of us are just "easy keeper air ferns", just like our horses. My thinking is that our mothers used to say "go outside and play". Now mothers say "go play your Nintendo". Nuff said. Don't get me started on supersizing......

Scootie
May. 1, 2007, 08:18 AM
2ndyrgal,

Thank you for being so eloquent on this subject.

One really does not have to be anywhere near "massively obese" to have trouble finding riding clothes to fit properly, or to receive negative criticism or even to feel self-conscious. This seems to be an issue for many riders, especially female riders.

What to do in the meantime is the key. Are people supposed to go into hiding and give up everything they consider important unless or until they can conform to someone else's ideal of how they are supposed to look or be?

purpleice
May. 1, 2007, 05:16 PM
scootie-
well said, but watch out...we aren't big fans of helping people who suffer differently on this thread...
though some of us will still defend them.

Chipngrace
May. 1, 2007, 10:08 PM
I never dreamed this thread would get this long, I'm thankful for all the responses, well most of them :)

My horses are fine with my weight, I ride a 14.3 hand gelding along with the mare I pictured (she's 15.3) and do just fine. I am self conscious... that's something I need to work on though. I am grateful to have some good friends who keep it real though.

As far as losing weight, it's not always that easy. It's something I've struggled with every single day of my life. There is not a time I remember not being overweight, in fact my niece and I pulled out old videos of my dance recitals from when I was a child and I was a fat 4 year old, fat 6 year old, fat 12 year old, etc...

When I was 13 I was new to riding English (had ridden western) and didn't know I had to tighten the girth on both sides, so when I got on my school horse that I was riding the saddle slipped to the side. My instructors son came over to help me and the barn owner walked over and said "HOW MUCH DO YOU WEIGH?" and I told him I didn't know (didn't want to say it in front of a cute 15 year old boy!!) and he said "well, go home, weigh yourself, come back and tell me and meanwhile put a lock on the ice box" I was really mortified and stopped going to lessons, I did end up going back to that barn a few years later and bought a horse there. The guy did mention my weight many more times but finally ended up respecting my riding as time went on.

The weight is coming off now, I have to be careful or I gain twice as much as I lost in a very short time. I have other health problems and meds that make this problem worse (prednisone! to name a bad one) but I won't give up because someday I want to be normal, maybe I won't be but I want to try.

My horses keep me sane. They don't judge or say anything, in fact my mare makes it quite clear who she prefers and it's usually me. My gelding loves everybody in the whole wide world but he's still my boy.

Another note, I did a stadium and gymnastics clinic last weekend, (okay, BBN, don't laugh, my mare usually has mental meltdown in clinic/show situations and I wanted to start small) and we were stars. I have to say my riding was as good as it's ever been and my mare was answering with being a totally amazing horse.

HorseShowMama
May. 2, 2007, 07:19 AM
When I wrote down how my weight is keeping me from riding (about three weeks ago when I posted to this thread), it made me realize what I was doing to myself. I've lost 11 pounds since then, worked out lightly every day, and yesterday I took my first riding lesson in about a year! I had a blast and the trainer was very pleased with me. Thanks everyone.

(disclaimer - I have not read this whole thread because it's long and I don't have time right now.)

Aspire2JumpHigher
May. 2, 2007, 09:47 AM
I’d say if you can ride like a beanpole while having a little extra “cushioning” then go for it. It’s more comfortable anyways. :D Being a little overweight doesn’t logically determine how fantastic a rider you are. The only thing I would worry about is if you can’t properly balance or if too much “cushioning” is preventing correct movement.

If you can look in the mirror and envision only your skeletal structure, and it’s correct while riding, then I wouldn’t concern yourself too much about what’s surrounding those bones. As long as everything aligns itself your riding should be okay, and the judges should be able to see that.

criss
May. 2, 2007, 03:13 PM
Luise,
If you were as good a doctor as you think you are, you would realize that some of the conditions you mention are actually contributing factors to obesity, not the other way around. And no, I'm not gonna do your homework for you and cite the studies--I'm sure you have PubMed access.

How exactly is beating up on myself and giving myself an eating disorder going to help me ride better or get thinner? Because that's what you are prescribing for me, essentially; diets turn into self-loathing and food insanity, for me and a lot of other people.

I get plenty of exercise and I eat a healthy amount of healthy, minimally processed vegetarian food. I tried every diet known to man, and my health got worse (and my weight increased). I ate whatever the hell I wanted, I didn't gain weight, my physical and mental health were great. Recently, I hadn't been riding as much and got flabby, which upset me, so I thought I'd bite the bullet and try dieting again, for the first time in almost a decade. I ate about 1500 calories a day for several months, and while I don't own a scale, my clothes never fit even a smidge looser, and the flab didn't change till I started riding more. I am the weight I am. You can think whatever you want about that. You don't, however, get to be a b*!# about it.

As for why I can criticize skinny people and you can't criticize fat people: You are criticizing who I am, criticizing a body I have finally stopped hating and being ashamed of and trying to change. I, on the other hand, am criticizing people who are cruel and insensitive to others. In other words, you are adding insult to injury when no harm has been done to you. I am merely defending myself from the harm you try to do to me. It has nothing to do with your oh-woe-is-me-I-struggle-too size 8 @$$. Misinterpret as you like, though.

CJ4ME
May. 2, 2007, 03:52 PM
This is a long and very interesting thread. I lost 25 pounds last year as a result of an illness. I would take those 25 pounds back in a minute if it meant I had never had the illness or the residual problems I have now.

For years I didn't ride because I was worried that I would look awful. I did myself out of a lot of fun and happiness that way.

I am very sympathetic to those who are overweight since I struggled for years. But I am less sympathetic to the "its not my fault", "I don't overeat" or the other rationalizations.

If you are overweight its because you are taking in more calories than you burn. That's it. Plain and simple. It was like that for me, and its like that for 99% of you.

So fine. Own it. For 16 years I ate more than I physiologically needed to eat. I cop to that. If you are overweight and are going to stay that way, then fine. But don't kid yourself or others that you are a victim of your metabolism. If you are an air fern...well that sucks. But it still means you are eating more than your body needs.

I know this sounds a little harsh. I don't mean it to be. I AM sympathetic. I have been there and still watch what I eat and do DAILY. Its a drag. But I am a little healthier for it.

magnolia73
May. 2, 2007, 04:11 PM
If you are an air fern...well that sucks

Until we get a good old famine! Then sucks to be the guy who eats everything and stays thin!

Horseshowmama-
GOOD FOR YOU!!!!!! I'm so glad you are back to riding.

BarbB
May. 2, 2007, 04:26 PM
When I wrote down how my weight is keeping me from riding (about three weeks ago when I posted to this thread), it made me realize what I was doing to myself. I've lost 11 pounds since then, worked out lightly every day, and yesterday I took my first riding lesson in about a year! I had a blast and the trainer was very pleased with me.


good for you!!!:yes:

Scootie
May. 3, 2007, 12:00 AM
"Plain and simple."

Unto the simple all things are simple.

"It was like that for me, and its like that for 99% of you."

Wow, do you know 99% of this board THAT well?

" If you are overweight and are going to stay that way, then fine."

So why do you have a problem with it?

"But I am less sympathetic to the "its not my fault", "I don't overeat" or the other rationalizations."
" But don't kid yourself or others that you are a victim of your metabolism."

Since you know so many of us so much better than we know ourselves you must be right. You must pat yourself on the back all the time for being so right about others. We must now genuflect ourselves at your feet and beg forgiveness since whatever was not true for you MUST NOT be true for anyone else. :rolleyes:

" I AM sympathetic."

BULL DOO DOO!!
Unless you mean sympathy without empathy. :no:

TropicalStorm
May. 3, 2007, 12:33 AM
I'm not an eventer (actually I wandered over from dressage) but I thought I'd add my own two cents.

You are your own worst critic. What you see isn't usually what everyone else sees, especially when it comes to weight. Sure, people notice if you're heavier then the average little skinny minny, but when you look in the mirror you see so much bigger then you actually are.

I know what you are going through. At 19 years old I was 220lbs. I had broken an arm at 18 year old and gained 40lbs within one year. I was also diagnosed with poly cystic ovarian syndrome, which definitely doesn't help the weight situation ;) And I'm a self-admitted stress eater. And I've had a LOT of stress in my life.

I continued to ride. I carried my weight relatively well (or at least as well as you can when you are pretty much 50lbs overweight). No one would have guessed my weight-it's pretty bad when the doctor does a double check of "Oh. I didn't think you'd weigh that". But I was so uncomfortable with myself. I felt HUGE. I had nightmares of people pointing and laughing and being like "wait! what's the cow doing riding the horse?" and everytime someone suggested I ride anything under 16hh, I just cringed.

So I joined a gym. They assess your fitness levels right? (cardio, situps, hearrate, ect, ect) Finishing the test, the trainer looked at me and was all like "Well...umm...you're actually above average in fitness range. Not exceptionally above average, but still, higher then most of the population." Ironic, isn't it? Fat but fit ;)

I'm 20 now. Weight is going to be a problem my whole life, and I know it. I have been making a concentrated effort to lose the weight,and it is NOT easy whatsoever. (To give you an idea, here I was 2 weeks ago, now at 190lbs http://www.hidden-identity.net/limerick/Limerick4c.jpg ) In fact, I think that in 6 months, I've lost maybe 15 pounds (God, when I say that I have 30 more lbs to go, it gets a bit depressing), HOWEVER, I have lost quite a few inches and have also gotten a lot more flexibility and balance, but more importantly, I've realized that I need to look at myself with a kinder eye. No one knows my story. No one has the right to judge me. When I get to an image that pleases ME, I'll know. I know I won't ever be a petite size 4 and 110lbs. I know that, and that's not my goal, despite everyone's apparent desire to fit society's ideal of a female looking like a prepubescent boy. When you find that image of yourself that you like, hold on to it. If it means you're 10lbs overweight, 10 pounds underweight or just perfect, keep that image.

Go out there and be the best damn rider that you can, irregardless of your body shape.

alexn614
May. 3, 2007, 02:29 AM
Tropical Storm, that is a GORGEOUS picture of you! I wish I had hands like that! And that gray horse...very pretty.

Like I said in my previous reply, I was 190 for most of 8th-9th-10th grades. People at the barn weren't exceptionally nice to me. I only rode here and there from 17-21, during which time I've lost about 50 lbs. Now that I've been riding regularly for about a year and a half, I still balk and cringe when people ask me to ride their smaller horses because I still think of myself as being bigger. It so weird--I buy size 32 breeches and wonder why they're too big. I can't give my willpower the credit for losing weight--I was very, very, very fortunate to gradually lose it and keep it off, I don't really know how I did it.


AND...this is WAY OT, but I have to tell you, TropicalStorm, that I LOVE the pet hamster quote in your signature! I remembered reading it and thinking it was hilarious, but I couldn't remember who had it. I even did a forum search for it, but it wouldn't show up. :no: Glad I stumbled upon it!

doccer
May. 3, 2007, 05:33 AM
While I haven't read thru all the posts, I'd like to share me and my horse with you :)

http://pets.webshots.com/album/558804385aEJsog

http://community.webshots.com/user/DoccersDressage

I hate to say it, but when i was younger people laughed at my first few shows. Mainly the teenage girls with the $20,000 horses, etc. And the only advice i can give you is -- do your best and the people who really count will appreciate and respect you...... AND the judge. PS - the same show where I was laughed at, I had better scores than both 'laughers', and that put them in there place pretty damned quick ;)

And -- be proud of what you're doing, you're horse is beautiful, and you look like a GOOD RIDER who takes GREAT care of herself and her horse.

There's also the truth that I know.... Work hard, because being an overweight rider means you have 10 times the work ahead of you that a slimmer rider with the same expertise does to get the same respect. And it is worth it.

HAVE FUN !! I'm at an Event Clinic the first week in June! And don't be afraid to show you and your horse OFF! :D :D

magnolia73
May. 3, 2007, 08:28 AM
To the medical people on here - from a fat person.

Look, I know excess weight is not good or healthy. But one thing that bothers me is how absolutely unhelpful physicians are. I've had one tell me- ooooo...you eat like a lumberjack- drink 2 Ensures a day and enough dinner to have 900 calories in your whole day. I've had physicians completely look the other way about my weight. I hear- 1500 calories- You are STARVING yourself.

1. Please acknowledge the fact that people's metabolism differs. One person can be fat on 1800 calories a day, while others can eat 2200 and stay fit. Don't assume fat people feed at the trough of McDonalds and eat too much. At least it is a kindness in setting realistic expectations in how hard it will be to lose weight. Fit day tells me I burn 2600 calories a day. A fitness trainer had me at 1700 calories a day.

2. Please tell us TRUTHFULLY how much to exercise. The whole- oh, walk 30 minutes a day and cut out the ice cream - it is not helping anyone. If the reality is an hour of hard cardio with a heart rate of X each day, let us know that when we come to you.

3. Instead of working on yet another diet, and blaming protein/carbs or fat for my state, come up with a way to determine how much people need in terms of calories - on an individual basis. I WISH someone would be able to tell me how much I need to eat. God knows by now I know how to count calories and carefully prepare food and get my veggies in.

Please, MD's - help us out- work on the science side of the equation - something other than coming up with a surgery I can't afford or pills that give me diarhea or clucking about all the problems being fat causes. Stop shoving psychobabble down my throat. Stop telling me it is simple or easy or genetic. Put it straight- how much fuel do I need / how much energy do I burn - EXACTLY, me- not some average human.

HECS04
May. 3, 2007, 08:44 AM
I looked at the picture and to be honest I think you and your horse make a beautiful pair! Don't ever let anyone tell you differently. No one will laugh and if they do they are obviously shallow and probably lack self esteem! good luck to you!!!!

TropicalStorm
May. 3, 2007, 10:06 AM
Tropical Storm, that is a GORGEOUS picture of you! I wish I had hands like that! And that gray horse...very pretty.

Like I said in my previous reply, I was 190 for most of 8th-9th-10th grades. People at the barn weren't exceptionally nice to me. I only rode here and there from 17-21, during which time I've lost about 50 lbs. Now that I've been riding regularly for about a year and a half, I still balk and cringe when people ask me to ride their smaller horses because I still think of myself as being bigger. It so weird--I buy size 32 breeches and wonder why they're too big. I can't give my willpower the credit for losing weight--I was very, very, very fortunate to gradually lose it and keep it off, I don't really know how I did it.


AND...this is WAY OT, but I have to tell you, TropicalStorm, that I LOVE the pet hamster quote in your signature! I remembered reading it and thinking it was hilarious, but I couldn't remember who had it. I even did a forum search for it, but it wouldn't show up. :no: Glad I stumbled upon it!


Haha, thank you - although you really don't want hands like mine :p They tend to get broken at the wrist more then anything else :rolleyes:

It's definitely tough to be an overweight rider. I think probably because the majority of english riders ARE thin-so you tend to stand out. I know at my old barn, I remember being the only one who had any bra issues. One girl looked at me and was like "well you don't have to worry about bouncing when you're a size A" but there I was making sure everyone couldn't count strides by watching my chest. Weight is a constant struggle for me but its getting there. I think the biggest thing for me though is that I'm HAPPY doing it. Instead of a chore, the gym is (mildly) relaxing. I watch what I eat without being neurotic about it...sure, I could probably lose more if I didn't occasionally snack or go out for supper with friends, but I tell you, I'd be a lot more miserable.


Glad you like the quote ;)


To the OP - being overweight is tough. Being an overweight rider is even harder. But please don't let it change who you are or your enjoyment in riding.