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MMacallister
Mar. 31, 2013, 03:17 PM
Really!! I went to Church today and there was a large crowd for Easter. The women in front of me had 2 children. One 10ish yr old boy and a 4 yr old girl.
The boy had his Ipad and played it through the whole service. The little girl had a cell phone to play with and threw a fit or two during the service. I am talking foot stomping, head throwing fits. Once her mother calmed her down (by giving in to her) she sat in the pew with her feet up on the pew in front of her.

If that was me when I was a child my father would have tanned my hide. I would never think of letting my child take an Ipad into Church. I expect my children to show some respect in these types of situations.

My husbands ex-wife is Jewish and she has raised my step-daughter in that faith. When she had her Baht Mitzvah we all went. My son had just turned 10 and my other step daughter was 7. Both managed to sit through a 2 hr service with minimal fidgeting. I was proud of them, but then again I wouldn't put up with such nonsense.

Is this the new way of parenting?

spacytracy
Mar. 31, 2013, 03:29 PM
Absolutely not. We had books for our then 2 year old, but 4 and 10???? Ridiculous.

We used to see older kids in the cry room ( when I was nursing ) and I couldn't believe it.

twotrudoc
Mar. 31, 2013, 03:35 PM
As a Christian, for myself I do not condone playing in church. BUT! Easter (and Christmas Eve) are when the people who do not come to church come to church.

Is it kind to be all judgy pants to those who aren't actual members and may have no idea of what is expected? Should they choose to become members of the church, then perhaps a friend or the pastor may have a word about what is expected during the service.

Or, is your church some sort of members only club allowing folks in on certain days and demanding expectations that they weren't told about? now, don't say common sense, it's very common for children to behave exactly as you described anywhere we look in todays world.

MMacallister
Mar. 31, 2013, 03:46 PM
You are correct, I shouldn't be all judgey pants. That was poor form on my part. I don't know if they are regulars or not, I am new to this Church and have only been there a few times.
I was just a little shocked at the whole Ipad in Church thing. The child did stay quiet for the whole service, so I guess that is a plus.

Mara
Mar. 31, 2013, 03:49 PM
There is one family at church with three of the worst-behaved brats ever. And they are well-known; people either wait to see where the Family From Hell is going to sit or they move when this lot sits near them.
The first (and only) time I had the misfortune to sit in the same pew, the kids climbed all over, drew on the (100 year old) wood pews with pens and crayons, punched, hit, and sat on each other, you name it. They are all old enough to have been taught better.
The mom spent the entire service mouthing "I'm sorry, I'm sorry" to everyone nearby. I finally had had enough and hissed, "well then DO SOMETHING!" at her.
I mean, you'd think it would embarrass them to be known in a fairly large congregation as That Family With The Horrid Children That No One Wants To Sit Near. They KNOW their children behave like demon spawn. Clearly the kids aren't getting anything out of the service; why ruin it for everyone else?
I never, ever thought about acting up like that in public. Or if I thought about it, I didn't actually do it! I'd draw on the bulletin if I was bored, or just zone out.

twotrudoc
Mar. 31, 2013, 03:51 PM
I would be shocked too but it is what it is, right.

Please understand, my own personal judgy pants are hanging in my closet, ready to wear at any given time :yes: I think it's a good thing we all don't wear them at once :lol:

headsupheelsdown
Mar. 31, 2013, 04:03 PM
I pad at church? That's just wrong. The older child can be expected to sit and even participate... the younger is at the age that they should retreat to the "cry room" (if no cry room, then outside) on occasion if they have to. Wrong, I tell you.

I pads & the like have only been around for a few years! The children nowadays can learn to do what children learned for hundreds of years in churches. Have a bit of patience.

MoonoverMississippi
Mar. 31, 2013, 04:04 PM
As a Christian, for myself I do not condone playing in church. BUT! Easter (and Christmas Eve) are when the people who do not come to church come to church.

Is it kind to be all judgy pants to those who aren't actual members and may have no idea of what is expected? Should they choose to become members of the church, then perhaps a friend or the pastor may have a word about what is expected during the service.

Or, is your church some sort of members only club allowing folks in on certain days and demanding expectations that they weren't told about? now, don't say common sense, it's very common for children to behave exactly as you described anywhere we look in todays world.

Bolding mine.
I have to say, as a non-church-attendee even I know what is expected in any church as far as playing electronic device, hissy fits with cell phones, coloring on pews, etc.

Even as a young child I knew to go to any service (sometimes went to different churches/temples with friends on sleepovers) meant best behavior, no whispering, giggling, horsing around, etc.

But here we are talking about an adult mother; you don't think she should know what is the expected proper behavior in a church service, regardless of the occasion? You are a much more forgiving person than I am, bless you.

ReSomething
Mar. 31, 2013, 04:14 PM
I've seen that at Band concerts too. I think it's a good thing that the kids came to church, all in all, but as I recall it I used to stop the car and spell out exactly what would happen to my DD before we even went in the room. I don't think people have the energy to parent any more. It is hard work.

Highflyer
Mar. 31, 2013, 04:16 PM
You never know when there might be a reason for it. I have a friend with an autistic kid, and he does require some kind of game or toy to keep him quiet and happy. The alternative is that he could be left at home, which means one parent always has to stay with him.

jcotton
Mar. 31, 2013, 04:17 PM
At my church, it is pretty common to see Iphones & Ipads, children and adults using them.
If child is being quiet while on the Iphone or Ipad, that's a win-win situation. They are not being disruptive to the rest of the congregation. And the are hearing the message, even if they are not necessarily paying complete attention.

Yes, I have both Iphone & Ipad but prefer my bible in my hand as well as a beloved hymnal.

Bluey
Mar. 31, 2013, 05:35 PM
I was thinking this thread would be about using IPads in church to follow services, how neat.:lol:

I then wondered about those that don't "do" those kinds of devices and if they would feel left out, or if they were paired with some that can handle them for both and/or were helped or taught how to use them beforehand?

Guess not.:p

MMacallister
Mar. 31, 2013, 06:43 PM
LOL Bluey, I never thought of doing that, and that would be a good excuse for using an Ipad. I think there would be many that don't "do" those kind of devices, especially in the older generation.

Funny thing was, as much as my husband wanted to smack mom for allowing such behavior, I did catch him looking over the kids shoulder when he was playing a Bass Pro Shops fishing game. :lol:

vacation1
Mar. 31, 2013, 07:29 PM
What's the point of bringing the kids to church if you're sending them the message, via providing ipads and tolerating loud tantrums, that this is just like going to the mall or McDonald's? Judge away, OP! A 10-year-old boy doesn't need a digital blankie to get through a 1-hour event. I suspect that if he was autistic, the OP would have noticed - you don't usually spend an hour near an autistic kid and not have an inkling the child has special needs. And a 4-year-old who behaves that badly in church needs to go home immediately. Staying isn't doing a speck of good for anyone.

pAin't_Misbehavin'
Mar. 31, 2013, 07:43 PM
They had the kids at church.:) And maybe the kids will remember church as a pretty cool place - not one where you might get beaten if you don't act just so.

Me? I wasn't allowed to read so much as the Bible during the church services when I was a kid. Since the sermons were way over my head, I considered that hour on Sunday as the incredible boredom torture. I quit going when I was 14 or so and didn't start attending again regularly until after I graduated from college.

Suffer the little children and all that.

Wellspotted
Mar. 31, 2013, 07:51 PM
IMO it is not being Judgey Pants to expect good manners from people who are guests.

OK, so maybe those people aren't regular churchgoers. Even so, most people have some idea of how to behave in church/temple/etc. services. There are company manners, and children who are old enough to play with IPADS and cell phones are old enough to have been taught them.

While I am shocked at the idea of kids having IPADS and cell phones in church, I really wouldn't mind--anything to keep them quiet and still! What is an IPAD but an electronic variation on the coloring books some churches provide for young visitors in the pew rack?

On the other hand, I think the children should have been sent to Children's Church instead of having to sit through a service. At Children's Church they would have had age-appropriate activities, hopefully learned something while there, and not have had to resort to electronic "toys" to distract themselves.

So, OP, I don't have a problem with your having a problem with the IPAD and cell phone.

And feet up on the pew? A little GIRL? In church? Ack.

"Suffer the little children"--yes, I agree with that wholeheartedly. But it is about letting them come to the Lord, not sit around playing with toys with their minds anywhere but where they are! They deserve to be given an opportunity to worship and learn when they're in church, not to waste their time.

MMacallister
Mar. 31, 2013, 07:57 PM
Wellspotted, thanks for the sentiment. Yea the feet on the top of the pew thing drove me nuts. They do normally only have to sit through the first 20 mins or so of the regular service and then go to Sunday school. So this is not the norm for them, which is why I think it frustrated me a little more than anything. You can sit for an hour a few times a year at special occasions and pay a bit of attention.

pAin't_Misbehavin'
Mar. 31, 2013, 08:01 PM
"Suffer the little children"--yes, I agree with that wholeheartedly. But it is about letting them come to the Lord, not sit around playing with toys with their minds anywhere but where they are! They deserve to be given an opportunity to worship and learn when they're in church, not to waste their time.

We all meet God in different ways.

SarahandSam
Mar. 31, 2013, 08:02 PM
I get judgey-pants about people who let their children play with electronic devices all.the.damn.time. At church, out at a restaurant, at a relative's house, everywhere. I understand that it is the easiest way to get a child to be quiet and non-disruptive, just like plopping a child in front of a TV will let you get work done at home. But now we have kids that are never bored, and therefore have no imaginations and no attention span and no powers of observation and no ability to entertain themselves and no creativity, and I hate that, especially as a teacher.

Great-Aunt Ann's house was super creepy and smelled like old people and I wasn't allowed to touch anything, but because of that, I made up stories about her scary dolls and went running around in the woods catching lightning bugs and pretended the dutch doors to the garage led to a horse stall and made a fort under Great-Uncle Clyde's giant desk in the basement, and I have clear and distinct and happy memories from going there. In church I memorized songs and tried to flip the kneelers up without making noise and collected the plastic bingo chips from the hall. At restaurants I drew elaborate works of art on placemats. I feel like kids today are going to just think of Great-Aunt Ann's house as that place where you sit in the corner and play on the PSP, and church the place where you play on the iPad, and a restaurant the place where you play on the cell, and that's it. Every time I see my nieces or nephew with a device in their hands, forced by threats and coercion to read a book (on a Kindle, natch!) for half an hour a night in order to earn the PSP or iPad or whatever back again, I die a little more inside.

Pookah
Mar. 31, 2013, 08:41 PM
I agree that's pretty appalling behavior, which my parents would not have tolerated. BUT, I would rather see than that screaming obnoxious children, I think. And I will say as someone with ADD, I am actually far more likely to be focused on what I'm hearing if I am doing something else - if I sit and just listen I have a really hard time not tuning out. But if I'm playing a game or messing around with my phone, it may LOOK like I'm not paying attention, but I'm actually absorbing a whole lot more of what is being said. And, iPads are a g-dsend for parents of children with autism and similar disorders, who may want their families to attend church together but find that the sensory input is overwhelming to a child with a disability. I am not saying that any of these situations are what happened today, because honestly it doesn't really sound like it - but I wouldn't necessarily rush to judge on appearances either, because you don't always get the whole story. From what I see a lot of the time, just making the effort to show up at church is more than a lot of families manage, so maybe this is a good start for them.

jcotton
Mar. 31, 2013, 08:44 PM
For me, dress appropriately for church--don't be excessively casual, no cowboy hats, ball caps, tramp clothes.

I'm fine with with the starched clothing or suit coat & jeans for guys, neatly present young men. For women, tastefully dressed, does not have to be skirts/dresses only (I don't care to wear dresses) but I wear trousers and blouses.

As long as whom I am sitting next to someone who doesn't interfere with the message that is being delivered, I am okay. Sometimes you have to put your blinders on and stay focused on what is being said. There will always be distractions -people who go to the bathroom, late arrivals, bad music.

I am fortunate to have a phenomenal Pastor, I have learned so much from him.

seabreeze
Apr. 1, 2013, 09:56 AM
I get judgey-pants about people who let their children play with electronic devices all.the.damn.time. At church, out at a restaurant, at a relative's house, everywhere. I understand that it is the easiest way to get a child to be quiet and non-disruptive, just like plopping a child in front of a TV will let you get work done at home. But now we have kids that are never bored, and therefore have no imaginations and no attention span and no powers of observation and no ability to entertain themselves and no creativity, and I hate that, especially as a teacher.

Exactly.

And I'll add that I personally know more than a few adolescents who seem actually uncomfortable when they are forced to ditch the e-device and have to socialize at the dinner table (or other similar situation). And then there are those parents who never set boundaries with the darned things. They are handicapping their children. Really, they are.