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Erin
Apr. 30, 2002, 06:36 AM
As I mentioned in my post last week, Cactuskate's sister has been in touch with me and has given me some information about her to use for a Chronicle obituary.

Since most of us did not "know" Kathy very well, I thought it would be nice to share some of the info, with her sister's blessing. I have pictures, too! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Ad update: we have $1800, and checks are still coming. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif Kathy's sister says that, for donations, for now, they're asking that they be sent to the Hospice of Yuma. (So that will be one option for our charitable contribution.)

Kathy's husband and another close friend are working on setting up a memorial fund for riders. According to Kathy's sister, "They would like to designate a perpetual award to be given at a dressage event. They are talking about having the winner receive some sort of award that would enable them to receive training for a designated time." Details are still being worked out.

I'm going to paste in the emails below... sorry for the funky formatting.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>
Dear Erin & fellow COTH members,

I am so overwhelmed by the outpouring of concern, kindness and support
you've all shown my sister, Cactuskate, AKA Kathy. She has been
blessed to
know each one of you and I know she found comfort in your thoughts and
prayers.

I want to say that Kathy was the best role model a little sister could
have.
Her high standards and level of integrity made her a tough act to
follow,
but one to certainly strive to emmulate.

She has done so much for so many people. Always willing to offer a
hand.
And, now, even in her passing, she continues to touch others with her
inspirational battle with cancer. She fought a good fight and lived
her
life to the very end. She could barely move her last day without
needing to
rest, yet when she finally conceeded to moving into a hospital bed at
home
(We knew she'd be more comfortable, but she "didn't want it to look
like a
sick person lived here".), she INSISTED on getting into the bed on her
own...AND SHE DID. It took every ounce of her strength, but she did
it!!

I find comfort, and hope you all will also, in knowing that she never
felt
any pain and went so peacefully. I'm so thankful to have been with
her.
I'm also so thankful she was part of such a wonderful group of horse
lovers.
(I am one also...there's nothing like the smell of horse poop and
leather!
/infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif)

Let me end with a phrase that Kathy said about 18 years ago. We were
both
active riders and she had won a hunter class at a local schooling show
in
Eugene, OR (where??). Someone from our barn was all excited for her,
but
she quickly put it all in perspective as to her high standards and what
she
determined to be an accomplishment. She said this is nice, but...."I'd
rather be the bottom of the top, than the cream of the crap!"

Thank you once again for your kindness. Kathy, Cactuskate, will be
missed
so much. But we know she's up there riding the perfect horse.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Another email:

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>
Here is som bio information on Kathy:

Born 9/5/50 in Corvallis, OR

Graduated from Lake Oswego High School - 1968
Moved to Eugene to attend University of Oregon

While in Eugene, she also developed a line of luggage for tack for
people to
use to travel to horse shows. It was called "Equitogs". She made
custom
boot bags, saddle covers, etc.

She was an expert seamstress. People would comment on how her clothes
didn't look homemade and her response was, "Well of course not, that's
the
point, I don't WANT them to look homemade!!"

Horses, of course, were her passion. She rode hunters - on the flat
and
over fences. And, for a brief time, early in her horse "career", she
did
show a horse Western...It was only a brief lapse in judgment..hee
hee...but
in retrospect, I believe it was an irresistable opportunity to get her
hands
on a nice horse. By the way, she won lots of classes on that horse.

She was an accomplished golfer. It was merely a substitute for her
true
obsession....HORSES, but she still excelled at it.

She also enjoyed trap and skeet shooting...and excelled at that as
well.

Basically, whatever Kathy decided to try, she did it wholeheartedly,
with
style and became accomplished at it. She was quite honestly (and
without
sisterly prejudice on my part) good at anything she attempted. She
held
very high standards for herself and most others.

Judy
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>
Here are a couple of pix. One is Kathy and Gary on their wedding day
in the
limo. The other is Kathy blowing out her birthday candles on her 18th
birthday. She loved birthday parties and always insisted on having the
hats
and "blowies".

Judy
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Erin
Apr. 30, 2002, 06:36 AM
As I mentioned in my post last week, Cactuskate's sister has been in touch with me and has given me some information about her to use for a Chronicle obituary.

Since most of us did not "know" Kathy very well, I thought it would be nice to share some of the info, with her sister's blessing. I have pictures, too! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Ad update: we have $1800, and checks are still coming. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif Kathy's sister says that, for donations, for now, they're asking that they be sent to the Hospice of Yuma. (So that will be one option for our charitable contribution.)

Kathy's husband and another close friend are working on setting up a memorial fund for riders. According to Kathy's sister, "They would like to designate a perpetual award to be given at a dressage event. They are talking about having the winner receive some sort of award that would enable them to receive training for a designated time." Details are still being worked out.

I'm going to paste in the emails below... sorry for the funky formatting.

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>
Dear Erin & fellow COTH members,

I am so overwhelmed by the outpouring of concern, kindness and support
you've all shown my sister, Cactuskate, AKA Kathy. She has been
blessed to
know each one of you and I know she found comfort in your thoughts and
prayers.

I want to say that Kathy was the best role model a little sister could
have.
Her high standards and level of integrity made her a tough act to
follow,
but one to certainly strive to emmulate.

She has done so much for so many people. Always willing to offer a
hand.
And, now, even in her passing, she continues to touch others with her
inspirational battle with cancer. She fought a good fight and lived
her
life to the very end. She could barely move her last day without
needing to
rest, yet when she finally conceeded to moving into a hospital bed at
home
(We knew she'd be more comfortable, but she "didn't want it to look
like a
sick person lived here".), she INSISTED on getting into the bed on her
own...AND SHE DID. It took every ounce of her strength, but she did
it!!

I find comfort, and hope you all will also, in knowing that she never
felt
any pain and went so peacefully. I'm so thankful to have been with
her.
I'm also so thankful she was part of such a wonderful group of horse
lovers.
(I am one also...there's nothing like the smell of horse poop and
leather!
/infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif)

Let me end with a phrase that Kathy said about 18 years ago. We were
both
active riders and she had won a hunter class at a local schooling show
in
Eugene, OR (where??). Someone from our barn was all excited for her,
but
she quickly put it all in perspective as to her high standards and what
she
determined to be an accomplishment. She said this is nice, but...."I'd
rather be the bottom of the top, than the cream of the crap!"

Thank you once again for your kindness. Kathy, Cactuskate, will be
missed
so much. But we know she's up there riding the perfect horse.

<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Another email:

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>
Here is som bio information on Kathy:

Born 9/5/50 in Corvallis, OR

Graduated from Lake Oswego High School - 1968
Moved to Eugene to attend University of Oregon

While in Eugene, she also developed a line of luggage for tack for
people to
use to travel to horse shows. It was called "Equitogs". She made
custom
boot bags, saddle covers, etc.

She was an expert seamstress. People would comment on how her clothes
didn't look homemade and her response was, "Well of course not, that's
the
point, I don't WANT them to look homemade!!"

Horses, of course, were her passion. She rode hunters - on the flat
and
over fences. And, for a brief time, early in her horse "career", she
did
show a horse Western...It was only a brief lapse in judgment..hee
hee...but
in retrospect, I believe it was an irresistable opportunity to get her
hands
on a nice horse. By the way, she won lots of classes on that horse.

She was an accomplished golfer. It was merely a substitute for her
true
obsession....HORSES, but she still excelled at it.

She also enjoyed trap and skeet shooting...and excelled at that as
well.

Basically, whatever Kathy decided to try, she did it wholeheartedly,
with
style and became accomplished at it. She was quite honestly (and
without
sisterly prejudice on my part) good at anything she attempted. She
held
very high standards for herself and most others.

Judy
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>
Here are a couple of pix. One is Kathy and Gary on their wedding day
in the
limo. The other is Kathy blowing out her birthday candles on her 18th
birthday. She loved birthday parties and always insisted on having the
hats
and "blowies".

Judy
<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Erin
Apr. 30, 2002, 06:38 AM
Crap, the pic is too big, and I'm at work and don't have photo editing software. Anyone wanna shrink it for me? Email me. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Everythingbutwings
Apr. 30, 2002, 06:39 AM
and a feeling of having been blessed to know her even if only "virtually".

Thanks, Erin

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world, indeed, it is the only thing that ever has." Margaret Mead

Bumpkin
Apr. 30, 2002, 06:39 AM
Thank You, thank you, Erin /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

rhymeswithfizz
Apr. 30, 2002, 07:16 AM
Thanks Erin. She helps me keep things in perspective. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

monstrpony
Apr. 30, 2002, 07:36 AM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Originally posted by rhymeswithfizz:
She helps me keep things in perspective. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

I can't count the number of times in the past couple of weeks that thinking of CactusKate and our memorial has done just this for me.

What a wonderful gift.

FirstCry
Apr. 30, 2002, 08:38 AM
Thanks Erin.

"Insanity is repeating the same behavior over and over and expecting different results"

Heidi
Apr. 30, 2002, 09:19 AM
It's amazing what one can intuit by a person's posts.

That Kathy was a woman/rider/sister of high standards, someone who always gave 110%, a woman of great common sense, compassion, and courage -- well, that's not surprising at all.

That we now sit with $1800 is awesome. We should probably take a poll to determine how best to donate the balance of the funds.

Heidi
Apr. 30, 2002, 09:38 AM
You can email the pictures to me and I'll shrink them and post.

Erin
Apr. 30, 2002, 09:52 AM
On their way, Heidi. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Heidi
Apr. 30, 2002, 10:13 AM
Try as I have for the last half hour, I can't convert the file to jpeg. /infopop/emoticons/icon_mad.gif

Anyone else want to take a stab at this?

[This message was edited by Heidi on Apr. 30, 2002 at 01:27 PM.]

FirstCry
Apr. 30, 2002, 10:45 AM
Send em this way, I'll give it a shot. I have nothing better to do at work today. /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif Its not month end or anything.

Can you tell I'm trying to avoid month end /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

"Insanity is repeating the same behavior over and over and expecting different results"

Cinnybren
Apr. 30, 2002, 11:41 AM
Thanks Erin. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

(sniff) A little teary eyed here. (sniff)

FirstCry
Apr. 30, 2002, 11:58 AM
Ok, Pictures, Attempt #1

/infopop/emoticons/icon_mad.gif grrrrr, ok, gotta play around alittle.

"Insanity is repeating the same behavior over and over and expecting different results"

[This message was edited by FirstCry on Apr. 30, 2002 at 03:07 PM.]

second chance
Apr. 30, 2002, 12:29 PM
Erin, drop me an email, I can convert them and shrink them for you!

Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side,a dark side, and it holds the world together.

Erin
Apr. 30, 2002, 12:35 PM
LOL... oh dear. Well, third try's a charm, I hope. /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

I can do it when I get home, I'm sure... I just don't have photo-editing software on this machine (at work). But we'll give it one more shot. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

second chance
Apr. 30, 2002, 12:54 PM
This works!

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>
Here are a couple of pix. One is Kathy and Garyon their wedding day in the limo. <HR></BLOCKQUOTE>



Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side,a dark side, and it holds the world together.

[This message was edited by second chance on Apr. 30, 2002 at 04:17 PM.]

second chance
Apr. 30, 2002, 01:07 PM
Kathy blowing out her birthday candles on her 18th birthday. She loved birthday parties and always insisted on having the hats and "blowies".


Duct tape is like the force. It has a light side,a dark side, and it holds the world together.

[This message was edited by second chance on Apr. 30, 2002 at 04:18 PM.]

Erin
Apr. 30, 2002, 01:11 PM
Yay! Thanks second chance. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

You have to scroll all the way back up to my original post to find out what the pictures are OF... but there they are. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Heidi
Apr. 30, 2002, 01:26 PM
Kathy's birthday hat matches her shirt! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif

Kryswyn
Apr. 30, 2002, 10:52 PM
But I think my sister-in-law might actually have known Kathy. They were in the same class at UO. I'll email her. If true, it would be so eerie.

~Kryswyn~
"Always look on the bright side of life, de doo, de doo de doo de doo"

Bumpkin
Apr. 30, 2002, 11:30 PM
I don't know if everyone knows or not, but Cactuskate use to post on Towerheads also. I read some of her posts today with tears.

Erin
May. 7, 2002, 01:20 PM
Wanted to bump this up with a little bit more information. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

I asked Kathy's friend and trainer, Jennifer, for an update on Bud, her horse:

<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR>Bud has a new home now with a couple who thinks he is the smartest,
prettiest horse they have ever seen. They spend an hour grooming, 1/2
hour
riding and another hour grooming. Kathy would really like that! He
will
always be in my care as I promised Kathy to watch over him.

Kathy will be missed, there are few people like Kathy who understand
horsemanship and the great privilege of owning and caring for one of
God's
greatest creations!<HR></BLOCKQUOTE>

Thought everyone would be happy to hear about that. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif

Also, an update on the "Cactuskate Fund." To date, we have about $2500. /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif I think there are probably a few straggler checks still coming, but that's the general ballpark of what the grand total will be.

Damn fine job, people! I have more than 80 contributions, and I think that really says a lot.

Thanks again. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif I think we will have a vote on the charity we'll be sending a big ol' contribution to later in the week... I'm just trying to track down some more info.

Coreene
May. 7, 2002, 01:28 PM
Forgot to post my check before I left; I will get it out to you today or tomorrow. So sorry for being so remiss.

hitchinmygetalong
May. 7, 2002, 01:31 PM
I hope CactusKate is smiling as she reads this, and I am sure her steady hand will guide us to the right charity.

Thank you again, Erin

"I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning to sail my ship."
-Louisa May Alcott

Bumpkin
May. 7, 2002, 04:36 PM
How about a huge bag of carrots for Bud? /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif
I don't mean a $2500 bag of carrots, just sending Bud a carrot bouquet /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif

Tin
May. 7, 2002, 04:39 PM
ohhh a carrot bouquet for Bud would be nice, can we swing that too Erin? Heidi?



"If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then give up. No use being a damned fool about it" -W.C. Fields

muley1
May. 7, 2002, 05:09 PM
I am wiping mascara off my face as I write this.. /infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif
I am the webmaster for the Arizona Dressage Association. If there is a scholarship to be set up, the family may want to get in touch with the board of directors of the ADA. They are more than willing to help set up some type of memorial fund to help riders. Just a thought..
Here's the link.

http://www.azdressage.org/

Thanks for all your effort Erin.

wtywmn4
May. 7, 2002, 08:31 PM
Thank you Erin, for having this BB and allowing us to know Kathy, virtually. Those pictures bring tears, happier days when she was healthy. We all are very lucky........

1-800-Dial-A-Distance
May. 7, 2002, 09:45 PM
Okay, straggler here too. Should I mail it in on Thursday (not going to happen weds) or should I just mail it separately to a cancer foundation in her name?
1-800
(sorry!!!)

Seen on a Centre College Democrats T-Shirt
"Because no one ever said they wanted a good piece of elephant."

Erin
May. 8, 2002, 04:44 AM
1-800, you can go ahead and send it to me, if you can do it in the next day or so. Just drop me a note and let me know when you send it and how much it will be for, and I'll plan accordingly.