View Full Version : The funeral has begun. You are all invited to attend the wake
Feb. 23, 2001, 11:22 AM
The "Question for Merry" thread is being laid to rest. Rose petals have been scattered upon the coffin. The bagpiper has played "Danny Boy". By now the preacher is half-schnockered on cheap wine (a vin rose that came in a box but was deftly poured into a "crystal" decanter from Walmart before the guests arrived). There's food on the table and we're all turned out in our best mourning regalia. (It is California, after all. Must have bleached teeth, sunglasses, and a Gucci scarf about one's head). Want to join in?
Who knows, the wake may last a while.
And you Canadians. HUH! How long can you tell bad jokes and muse about the upcoming spring thaw? The Calif. clique tosses down a black Neiman-Marcus kidskin glove. *Sniff* Just see if you can make it to 30+ pages! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Feb. 23, 2001, 11:22 AM
The "Question for Merry" thread is being laid to rest. Rose petals have been scattered upon the coffin. The bagpiper has played "Danny Boy". By now the preacher is half-schnockered on cheap wine (a vin rose that came in a box but was deftly poured into a "crystal" decanter from Walmart before the guests arrived). There's food on the table and we're all turned out in our best mourning regalia. (It is California, after all. Must have bleached teeth, sunglasses, and a Gucci scarf about one's head). Want to join in?
Who knows, the wake may last a while.
And you Canadians. HUH! How long can you tell bad jokes and muse about the upcoming spring thaw? The Calif. clique tosses down a black Neiman-Marcus kidskin glove. *Sniff* Just see if you can make it to 30+ pages! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Feb. 23, 2001, 11:26 AM
Sorry to hear about your loss, please accept my sympothies but it was time. And now I must say....
Bring it on BAY-BE!
You'll be surpised at how much time we Canadians have during winter, 30 pages HA! I could do that in my sleep /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif BTW, it's snowing YET again.
Feb. 23, 2001, 11:30 AM
And, in proper wake form, Willem will be wearing his black PolyPad under his black tack (being as he is a dressage kind of guy) as we wake.
Feb. 23, 2001, 11:35 AM
Well what a bummer! I came into the topic late and even though I am a youngish adult and should remember or at least know of some of the people you were talking about, I didn't. I guess I spent too much time riding super green horses and never made it to the show ring or really just out in the world very much.
I just skimmed through and had fun, sorry to see it go! I would like to lay down a single red rose and an apple please.
Feb. 23, 2001, 12:04 PM
As a citizen of Dallas, I'm afraid I must dispute your right to claim the black kid glove from Neiman-Marcus as a symbol of California.
Neiman Marcus is as Texan as well, George dub-ya Bush. Stanley (Marcus) has fought a long hard battle to bring culture, art and expensive doo-dads to the not-so-common man and it all started here.
So, not to start a fight at the funeral or anything, but you need to pick an authentic California artifact - maybe a surfboard or alphalfa sprouts - and not go "borrowin'" from Texas!
Remember the Alamo!
Feb. 23, 2001, 04:13 PM
I was boycotting the board b/c I am still a little. . . miffed . . . about last night. However, altruistic woman that I am, I realized you NEED my expertise for this wake. I am uniquely qualified to speak to the issue of protocol at wakes b/c I am (a) Catholic and (b) Italian.
O.k., we are off to a good start here: Rosie and Merry are having a spat (teasing, teasing) over the black glove, and having feuding contingents is necessary to have a good Italian wake. There must be an impatient air of suspended battles at the funeral parlor. Also, someone sagely mentioned alcohol on the Merry Thread. We need to have someone leaving the wake early to go back to one of the families' homes (coreene's home? or Rancho Merry?) to begin preparing for the after-wake drink-fest. Generally those things are catered, but, to keep costs down, we can do it pot-luck.
What else? Let me get back to you . . . .
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Feb. 23, 2001, 04:18 PM
Even though I'm terribly upset that you, elizabeth, had a spat with someone other than your fave sparring partner, moi, I have stumbled onto a picture of my dear Rick, which I have linked below, perhaps to the detriment of my friendship w/ Rick.
Must admit, my boy looks good in the picture.
Feb. 23, 2001, 04:35 PM
Wow!!! Yes, yes. He's very attractive. And his CV is fabulous! Heidi-ho, you have a wonderful sounding friend. (Can I start referring to him now as "my boyfriend"? I could casually drop his name into conversations during the breaks in the bar exam: "Yes, well, my boyfriend, who, in layman's terms, is in charge of Casper the Friendly Ghost, is a very famous CEO. . . .")
Invite him to the wake - I look stunning in black! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif
Feb. 23, 2001, 04:38 PM
I think you're gonna have to post a picture of yourself so that the playing ground is even, so to speak.
Feb. 23, 2001, 04:44 PM
O.k. - I'll e-mail one to you, as opposed to posting one here. There's no way, after last night's fiasco, that I'm posting a picture of myself up here. I don't want people to be able to identify me. (Dear God, I can see the headlines now "Irate horse show mom qua chat board addict blows lovely young equestrian away.")
I only have a black-and-white scanner here at home, so I'll have to scan photos for you AFTER the bar, when I can have access to a color scanner! This time next week. . . .
Feb. 23, 2001, 04:44 PM
Elizabeth. Nobody does wakes like the IRISH catholics. Are we gonna have to throw down?
Feb. 23, 2001, 04:51 PM
Yes, WHOA! Way to do it.
Now what I will do is agree with you politely -"Yes, WHOA, you guys sure know how to do wakes" - then I will scurry to the corner of the funeral parlor and mutter rude comments about you to my friends.
Thus keeping the under current of discord in the air. . . .
(At the post-wake gathering, we can drink ourselves silly and cry in our beer over the loss of the Merry Thread and then hug each other and make up. Does that sound about right?)
Feb. 23, 2001, 05:06 PM
Well, almost. Don't forget that we have to tell exaggerated stories about the dead thread. You know, like "ah, that was the king of threads. Four hundred and thirty eight pages it was. We won't be seeing it's like again." Then we both nod knowingly and throw back some more beer.
Feb. 23, 2001, 06:52 PM
If the disparaged thread is to die, we must keep this one near the top. I think those who post the unkind things are just jealous, a pretty easy thing at this time of year in Canada. Shiver!
The "do you remember" posts about California horses and riders of the 70s and 80s are such great fun to read, at least to someone pretty much from that era. Even with a failing memory, it's amazing how many names I remember well. And, now that I know who Merry is in real life, I remember her too. /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif
Feb. 23, 2001, 06:53 PM
But then, The Thread's secret lover, "Bush vs. Gore Thread" will stumble into the viewing room. There will be a hush.
"It can't be! It can't be!" Bush vs. Gore Thread will sob. Someone will hand him a silver flask of whiskey.
And we'll be wearing our Neiman-Marcus kidskin gloves, purchased at Fashion Island in Newport Beach(called "Fascist Island" by the locals). Here in California, we don't have our own chi-chi stores. We must import our fashion culture, otherwise we'd live in baggy, knee length Bermuda shorts and Old Navy t-shirts.
Feb. 23, 2001, 07:21 PM
We must import our fashion culture, otherwise we'd live in baggy, knee length Bermuda shorts and Old Navy t-shirts.
Gee, that attire's bad? Though, we in Northern California, particularly those on the chilly, foggy coast, wear baggy sweat shirts and pants over form fitting long underwear. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Feb. 23, 2001, 08:31 PM
A good agnostic thread would have donated its body to science....
Any truth to the rumor that the thread recently married an amply-bosomed, intellectually-challenged young woman who will now stand to inherent the thread's entire estate?
(said with the sarcasm and irreverance of a born-and-raised East Coaster.)undefined
Feb. 23, 2001, 09:31 PM
Justalurker, must you give away all of our fashion secrets. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Feb. 23, 2001, 09:34 PM
What happend to de thread /infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif
Cece's Presley's horse seemed to have a one word name like Chesterton.....Heir apparent sounds familiar..... /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif
Feb. 23, 2001, 09:36 PM
SuaveReno, WHich thread do you want me to deliver the Strawberry Margaritas to?
Feb. 23, 2001, 11:08 PM
Well Rusty. Margarita's sound fine here but where did everyone else go???? I'm still /infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif
Feb. 24, 2001, 07:07 AM
As a hush falls over the crowd out of respect for the bereaved lover, another thread comes stumbling drunkenly into the room. "It's life was a lie! Everything it achieved should have been mine! My meteoric rise to success was cruelly cut short!" screamed the Terri Kessler Thread.
Feb. 24, 2001, 09:40 AM
Suavereno, It looks like we are the only ones here. So we might as well enjoy the Margaritsa by ourselves. Where did every one go? /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
Feb. 24, 2001, 10:02 AM
What was her great quote?
"It's so expensive to be me *sob*" /infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif
Oh! Here's the thread's last will and testament:
Being of addled mind and of a bloated length, I hereby bequeath the following:
-To PamM: the list and photos of all Thoroughbred hunters from the 70's and 80's
-To coreene: the one English saddle from the Circle J rental stable
-To Mo: the past work history (verified by a P.I.) of Melissa Cardenas
-To rusty, AAJumper and Merry: a pair of TS rust breeches
-To Beezer: a visit to a board certified neurologist to have your lapse of memory investigated
-To Suave Reno: a guide for returning amateur riders entitled, "Welcome Back! How to Survive the Continuing Soap Opera that is California's Show Circuit"
-To Bumpkin and C&C: a handful of raffle tickets to be in the running for a free new horse, donated by the Flintridge Women's Auxillary Club
-And to all the others who contributed (Katey, Chanda,Taryn, Twister, WHOA!, NancyR, Justalurker, etc.), who occasionally poked their head in to contribute an acerbic comment, you all win free round-trip tickets to Louisville for the sole purpose of hunting down Scary Woman From Kentucky, throwing her into a giant burlap bag and dropping her off at the local homeless shelter where she'll be forced to adjust to life without Aqua Net hairspray and stiletto heels.
Question for Merry
Feb. 24, 2001, 10:45 AM
WOW! Whatta deal!
Do I get the horses themselves, or just pics.....
And, with my memory, what if I want that nice bay mare that Barbi McCoy had.......... Old whazzer name. (Actually I remember that one --- it is Clipse). But I forget the name of the wonderful chestnut owned by Kim Marconi and ridden by both Susie H and Kim to many championships -- what a nice horse........ Dern, I hate getting old.
Do I get even the ones whose names escape me?
Feb. 24, 2001, 11:08 AM
What do I get, Merry??? /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif
I'll gladly take any number of the horses we've discussed for $500, Alex!! /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif
Feb. 24, 2001, 11:29 AM
I 'm starting tht one right after "Riders"
The rings are locked and I can't ride and more rain tomorrow. Is there a facility that has a decent indoor ring in OC???? Alas, I guess I'll go see the fearsome Threesom (Lexie, Reno & Cosmo) and give them a hug and alove (carots, corn oil and other assorted goodies.... /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif )
If I get motivated, maybe I'll even cook a meal for my husband...
Questions: Do our husbands need a equine support group???? /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif
Feb. 24, 2001, 12:30 PM
But I think it needs to be support group for husbands whose wives are addicted to the COTH BB!!! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif My husband would be sure to join!
Feb. 24, 2001, 01:50 PM
"Hunny bunny, come here. Bill, let me straighten your toupee . . . . Oh, look, there's Merry. . . . Merry, hi, over here!"
<<Merry staggers over, Koi sandwich in one hand, Wal-Mart fake crystal decanter in another, in her rust breeches, with her ruby choker pin glowing sadly.>>
"Merry, I'd like you to meet Bill. Bill, sweetheart, this is Merry . . . . M-E-R-R-Y. Hearing is the first thing to go, you know. Merry, do you like my anklet? Bill bought it for me, once I became a trophy wife. Oh, who is that over there, in that frou-frou designer gown? Oh, the TeriKessler (one "r" not two) Thread. Wouldn't it figure that Thread would overdress? . . . . ."
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Feb. 24, 2001, 02:48 PM
Suave - if you go to the barn today, be sure to say hello to Luc for me! I had him during 99 before Helen bought him. He is so GREAT! I will attempt to post a pic...
Yes, it is pouring down rain in CA today! My mom is trying to get here from Boston, but is now stuck in Dallas due to weather. I have to now go to Ontario to get her! Alas, we are off to Hawaii on Tuesday for a week of sun and fun...
Feb. 24, 2001, 03:04 PM
Here's the pic of Luc!
Feb. 24, 2001, 03:24 PM
It was "Scarey" woman from Ky. Not "crazy". Sorry Pam M, hope you do realize I was reffering to her when I posted that comment. /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif
Merry, you know, Melissa also dabbled in the catering bus. (according to her). /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif So, shall we have her cater the affair? /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
Feb. 24, 2001, 04:15 PM
<BLOCKQUOTE class="ip-ubbcode-quote"><font size="-1">quote:</font><HR> Wal-Mart fake crystal decanter<HR></BLOCKQUOTE> LOL --- That's a redundacy if I ever heard one, unless Walmart has been hiding their REAL crystal decanters from me all these years. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
And N2Jumper -- nice pic. nice horse. good ride.
"Down doggie, Down. Stop doing that to my leg!!!! Who brought these JRT's to the wake, anyway???"
Feb. 24, 2001, 04:21 PM
elizabeth, I'm so sorry! I truly didn't mean to insult your hubby when I said, "Hey, did someone leave the window open? There's a squirrel on Bill Shatner's head." Honest, I'm so sorry! I could never have predicted that the Jack Russells would've savaged Bill's head like that. Nothing like having to call paramedics to a wake!
dublin, dear, the thread left you a small gift over here. Let me find it. Oh, it's wrapped so nicely...
Huge commotion as Pam flings the assaulting dog off her leg and it flies into the open coffin... Merry has to set down the gift and extract dog from gnawing on thread's formaldehyde-infused flesh...
Feb. 24, 2001, 04:41 PM
Oh, a "Typo Circuit" fresh off the press with a cover date of December 2000. Right on time! And it's autographed by Jim Dahlquist and Donna Storkan.
Chef now runs into the center of the room. "I knew I'd get nothing! The Merry Thread always liked dublin better!" Then Chef immerses head into brandy-spiked punch bowl and gulps like a fish...
By the way, I think I'm drinking too much. I'm seeing double. Which thread is actually the funeral???
Feb. 24, 2001, 05:27 PM
Merry, hon, no worries. This isn't the first time open season has been declared on Bill's head. (Those toupee's actually seem to have a life of their own. I've given them pet names, you know. . . . oops, more information than you needed!)
Elizabeth hears a commotion by the casket and looks over to see coreene weeping and swaying, moaning "If I had never conceived of you, if I had never given you life, if I had never posted you, I would not have to suffer the pain of losing you." AAJumper quietly goes over to coreene and refills her margarita glass, muttering "we did the best we could. Do you want salt on the rim?" Beezer's JRT, saited by the heavy corpse meal, snuggles against elizabeth's black stocking clad ankles, whereupon elizabeth murmurred to the little fellow "you like my anklet, don't you?"
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Oh, and Merry, before I make a scene, where is MY gift?
[This message was edited by elizabeth on Feb. 24, 2001 at 08:39 PM.]
Feb. 24, 2001, 06:31 PM
This is beginning to look like the sequel to "Suffering Pines" but to the California clique, it could be even better than the Virginia oriented original.
Keep it up, gals!
Feb. 24, 2001, 06:39 PM
she peruses her autographed Typo Circuit - the first that has ever arrived on time!! It will then be bequeathed to Chef....
Thanks, Merry, for the oh so appropriate gift. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif
Feb. 24, 2001, 06:43 PM
My able and trusted lawyers have advised that the last will and testament will be read on Monday. My ample gift of perception has detected a rat among you.
Don't deny it! Motivated by greed, crudely disguised as grief, I know which one of you is responsible for Kevorkianing the thread. /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
Should you wish to discuss a settlement and NDA, you may contact my lawyer, Glaria Allread.
Feb. 24, 2001, 06:53 PM
Gosh, I don't remember the last one I received -- is the last one the December 2000 issue? I did, however, get a bill in the mail. It seems my subscription (pretty pricey for 4 issues/year) runs out in May and I must renew or I won't receive that issue. Let's see, December and May. At that rate it's going to be hard to fit 2 more issues in between May and December. /infopop/emoticons/icon_mad.gif
Feb. 24, 2001, 06:56 PM
I can't keep it inside anymore. I can't stay silent. Somebody needs to tell the truth, and it needs to be me! (Or Linda Tripp - she was on TV AGAIN last week, ratting on some other government agency. I digress. . . .)
Duffy2, it LOOKS like I was responsible for the demise of the Thread, but if you look closely, you will notice that MERRY leapt onto the suggestion that the thread. . . meet its maker. She leapt with. . . almost too much enthusiasm. And she hoped nobody would notice.
And they almost didn't notice. . . .
While *I* was lambasted by those less perceptive than you (YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE, and YES, I am still miffed and believe I deserve an apology!!!!) who thought *I* was the one trying to kill the Thread, those who were truly paying attention noticed Merry's quick response to my suggestion.
Nobody queried what it meant, however, until just now. Makes you wonder. I mean, Merry *seemed* to be enjoying the Merry Thread. Merry *seemed* to be an active, sincere poster. But how much do we REALLY know about Merry, . . . if that is her name??
(Now, before anyone leaps on me for teasing Merry (and by "anyone," I mean YOU, Bumpkin and dublin! /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif), note that I am indeed teasing. Of course, that does not necessarily mean that Merry does not have blood on her hands. . . .)
Feb. 24, 2001, 06:58 PM
I took it upon myself to give this topic the top 5-star rating. I did it on impulse and it can be changed if you want -- it's easy a pie. But, to see the Canadians knocking "Question for Merry" in their "Question for Canter" topic and giving it a 5-star got to me. We must stay on top of the heap!
Feb. 24, 2001, 07:11 PM
Being the humanitarian that I am, and for the sake of maintaining the peace within the CA Clique, I have hired a private investigator who has been trailing the person who calls herself "Merry". It appears that our Miss Merry entertains visions of herself as the Merrier Widow of the thread.
The picture below was snapped this afternoon - girls she's already embarked on her spending spree. Methinks she'll soon be replacing that fence with a nice WB.
Feb. 24, 2001, 07:14 PM
That's her. That's Merry, or the poster formerly known as Merry.
I can tell b/c she is wearing gold hoops and a big belt buckle!
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Feb. 24, 2001, 08:07 PM
Did Bill give it you??? /infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif
Dang this place is so hot I suggest we all rip off our ratcatchers and relax a little. More margarita's pleeze Rusty.
N2Jumpers enjoy Mammoth and definitely take a laptop. there's too much to miss.
Feb. 24, 2001, 08:48 PM
<<Rushing across the room, elizabeth pulls coreene away from the casket, rips WHOA's Irish brewski out of her hand, grabs AAJumper's arm (champagne bottle and all), and convenes a meeting around the guest book.>>
People, we have got to get over our grief and get back to posting. The Canadian group is kicking our butts on the BB. They are at 125 posts, and we are pussy-footing around at about 50. It's shameful. We are dishonoring the Thread's memory.
Now, Beezer, stop feeding the JRTs the artichoke dip and pull out your laptop. SuaveReno, put your margarita in a to-go container and get back to your computer. And use a spill-proof lid - we can't be slowed down by sticky stuff spilling into the keyboard. N2Jumpers, that's a nice picture of Luc and all, but we don't have time for that. Matter of fact, cancel your trip to Hawaii, and get your mom to post on this thread, too. Duffy2, set aside your conspiracy theory and keep posting. Merry. . . HEY, WHERE'S MERRY??? Nevermind, we've got a job to do people. . . .
Feb. 24, 2001, 08:54 PM
here's a family picture of Kari. She the only across from the onion dip and chips.
Feb. 24, 2001, 08:56 PM
O.k., yeah, great, thanks for sharing.
Can Kari post, too?????
(Teasing - Kari is cute!!) /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif
Feb. 24, 2001, 09:10 PM
You are a spy! I am ashamed!!!
Feb. 24, 2001, 09:27 PM
here is me and Cosmo. Blackhoresrulez!
Are you in CA?? /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Feb. 24, 2001, 09:34 PM
Hi Kari. I like your horse.
Is his name blackhorse or does he have another name? He has a very, very pretty head, and he looks nice and BIG!!
I am in CA - I live in Santa Monica.
Where do you keep your black horse? /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Feb. 24, 2001, 09:40 PM
I'm soooo sorry this had to come out at the wake! /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
elizabeth, can you ever forgive me? Suave, you weren't supposed to spill the beans, so to speak. I gave you that dear, blond child as a gift in exchange for your Lexi mare, and what do you do? Ruin me in my darkest hour!
As for Duffy2's revelation... Okay, I admit it. I pushed for the IV drip to be pulled from the vein of Merry Thread's arm. Like the cast of Seinfeld, I wanted us to walk away with some dignity, not be shuttled off when we had become mere shadows of our youth.
Now totally sauced and off the wagon for the first time in a decade, Merry jumps atop the buffet table, just as she warned, rips off her string of pearls, pushes up the sleeves of her black cashmere sweater and breaks into "OH CANADA!", but obnoxiously changes the words into something vaguely rude...
Feb. 24, 2001, 10:06 PM
A new book hot off the press! It's written by my evil twin, Anna Nicole Smith.
"10 Steps to Snagging a Rich, Older Old Man and Getting Him to Buy You a Horse Farm Before he 'Buys the Farm'"
Hide it under your Italian brocade shawl, elizabeth! Don't let Bill see it!
Hey! Who ate all the artichoke dip? And where's my sister, Beezer? Someone's gotta buy that woman a laptop. But it ain't gonna be me. I'm gonna spend my inheritance on something just for ME! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Feb. 24, 2001, 10:11 PM
I see - his name is Cosmo. Nice name!!
Oh, and Merry, thank you for the gift.
However, if you allege that you were related to the Thread, and the thread died without a will, you might be entitled to take under intestate succession. Or if you were married, the property of the thread might be community property. FYI- the bar exam is Tuesday.
Feb. 24, 2001, 10:40 PM
That's Cosmopolitan. Cosmo for short. I live in Irvine. Do you have a horse?
Her's a picture and my friend Magan at a horse show.
Feb. 24, 2001, 10:43 PM
I am just learning to jump. I started in cross rails last year. It's lots of fun.
Feb. 24, 2001, 10:47 PM
Oh, wow! Jumping is fun. Congratulations, Kari. And I like Magan's horse, too. Black and white are nice colors for a horse!
I have a horse, Buster. He is an Appaloosa, so he has lots of spots. His body is white, but it has red and brown spots on it.
He lives in New York, but I am trying to find a barn to keep him at. Irvine is not too far away from where I live - which barn do you keep Cosmo at? /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif
Feb. 24, 2001, 10:52 PM
Cosmo is at Foxpointe farm. There are lots of kids there. Do you have a picture of your horse Buster? He sounds very nice. I hope you can find a nice barn /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif
Feb. 24, 2001, 10:58 PM
Do you suffer from MPD? /infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif
Merry, I dunno but I think this wake need's a band!! Have any lined up? /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif
Feb. 25, 2001, 12:26 AM
I hope no one minds that I hired someone local. It's a friend of my husband, Mr. Merry Thread. Anyhoo, this guy plays the guitar and sings great songs... well, a few mediocre songs. About every third offering is "The House of the Rising Sun". Oh, and he also knows "Flying Purple People Eater" and "Does Your Chewing Gum Lose its Flavor on the Bed Post Overnight". Please disregard the fact that he envisions himself Jerry Garcia but he actually looks gratefully dead. Oh no, I can hear the strains of his first song already...
"There is ... a house... in New Orleans...they caaalllll The Risin' Sun.... and it's BEEN...a ruin... of many a poor boy... "
Oh geez, someone make some more adult beverages. If we're out, run over to the Canadians' thread and steal from them.
Feb. 25, 2001, 12:44 AM
I don't recall the name, but it sure is tastey; iced tea with Absolute citron or Stoli orange!! How about Malibu and Pinapple?
Now where is Chandra is'nt she bringing the wine?
whewwwwwweeee! It's party time! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Feb. 25, 2001, 01:12 AM
Please forgive me for taking so long to return with more Tequlia and Margarita fixins. But I had to actually get some paper work done today /infopop/emoticons/icon_mad.gif and attend a family birthday party /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif. How ever I am back and the blender will now go into over time, since I left my dear friends here with out adequate beverages. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Feb. 25, 2001, 01:28 AM
I guess I will just have to drink all of these Margaritas by myself. Since everyone else has left me alone with the deceased thread and the JRTs. I wonder if they would like to share a pitcher of Margaritas? That could have a scarry result. I can just imagine the headlines. /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
Feb. 25, 2001, 06:13 AM
I also wanna talk about (in hushed and reverent tones) the birth of a new threadlet. I know the old thread would want us to go on. Life doesn't stop, after all. There are more names to remember, more horses to discuss, more memories to re-live.
Besides, we NEVER did (in over 600 posts) find out the answer to the original question! (Which of course, I have forgotten now). But those kind of things need closure, and it is not polite to discuss such matters at a wake.
Feb. 25, 2001, 07:29 AM
Ohhhhhh, the sadness of it all.......Louie, Louie...yeah baby! What are we eating? Must have something to digest with all our liquid refreshments..
Feb. 25, 2001, 07:55 AM
I am so sorry, I was in the bathroom the whole time barfing from the stomach flu! This wake just couldn't have come at a worse time for me. At least I feel as bad physically as I do emotionally!
After flushing I sent my husband to the cellar and pulled SEVERAL bottles of last years Pinot (hope you all like red). It has a pretty decent alcohol content for those needing to drown their sorrows but won't whomp you in the head like all of that hard stuff you have been serving.
Feb. 25, 2001, 09:35 AM
Um, we are falling way behind. Am I the only one still here at 8:30 in the morning?? Just me, my wine and the casket. It isn't an open casket is it?
Feb. 25, 2001, 10:19 AM
As best I can tell, MPD stands for "multiple personality disorders." Of course, at Columbia (Law School), they taught us very little about medicine - funny how that goes - so I could be wrong.
No, I don't suffer from that - I have one personality, and it is delightful in all its type-A, fiercely perceptive, academic glory.
Were you using MPD to mean something other than Multiple Personality Disorder? /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif
Feb. 25, 2001, 10:56 AM
Thanks to Melissa Cardenas, who apparently happens to also be a caterer...?
But now don't all of you go rushing toward her offering of prime rib and garlic mashed potatoes! What about my sushi rolls? Made fresh from the koi I harvested from my pond in my riding arena! No one wants goldfish-on-rye, either? /infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif
Strike up the band, then. How about "Woolly Bully"?
(Are we supposed to dance at a wake?) /infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif
By the way, has anyone fed the horses breakfast?
Feb. 25, 2001, 11:02 AM
Sushi?????Sushi????? That is the best!!!!! Okay so Wooly Bully, and sure why not? We can dance. "It's your party and you can cry if you want to". Sorry just couldn't resist /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Feb. 25, 2001, 11:35 AM
If you agree (extra post there), I will be happy to add to the eulogies.
Feb. 25, 2001, 11:53 AM
Merry, I'll go feed the horses.
I'll mix in a little left-over artichoke dip for the fussy eaters.
Oh, and I suppose it is a bad thing that the barn cats got into the margaritas. . . . That will teach us to fill the birdfeeder with margaritas when all the fake crystal decanters were used up. /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif
Feb. 25, 2001, 12:58 PM
I posted my eulogy over on the "real" thread. But I have stopped by here to pay my respects.
Elizabeth, I am sorry that my JRTs brought shame and embarrassment to Bill. (Though who knows? Maybe he LIKES that kinda mauling! /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif ) But really, it's not their fault. Merry knows better than to yell "SQUIRREL!" in a room crowded with terrieristas. It's not like she could have forgotten her own experience of having them dangle off her ponytail....
Coreene, I cannot hope to ease your pain upon the death of "your" thread. But take comfort in the fact that you gave birth to a grand and wonderful thing. Clifford and his ancient English saddle thank you.
To all the friends that we met and bonded with, a hearty toast ... even if it IS with that cheap stuff that I have been forced to put in a carafe. (As I have told Merry repeatedly, appearances are soooo important and they must be kept up. Which is something she tends to forget as she slogs out to feed the koi in what was once our arena.)
And finally, to those Canadians who are attempting another coup and trying to wrest the thread title away from its rightful owner ... well, I've never trusted those north of the border. Canadians ... they LOOK like us, but they're *different.* /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Feb. 25, 2001, 03:02 PM
Beezer, whew, we thought we had lost you.
No worries on Bill's toupee. He likes it to be handled kinda rough! /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif
As to the Canadian Thread, if you or I were confined to a bucolic area overwhelmed by snow and people who insert extra "u"'s in their words (e.g. favourite), we likely would be a little bit "different," too.
Oh, hey, Beezer, it's funny. . . . This wine is in an Ecco Domani bottle, but it tastes like. . . wine from a box.
Feb. 25, 2001, 03:05 PM
Oh Beezer, how could you let Merry buy that stuff in the cardboard box, then pass it off in a carafe? Guess it is time for this wonderful, memorable thread to hit the sunset trail. But, it is such a sad farewell. Think of all the wonderful hours that have been spent, with idle chatter. Remembering, the good and the OH so funny. How can we let that go? Plus now that we are having fierce competition from the northern hemisphere we have to do something, right?
Feb. 25, 2001, 04:13 PM
I see I shall have to take you under my wing. Either that, or severely limit the time you spend with Merry. Why, you ask? Because one must never, EVER say that a wine tastes like it came out of a box ... saying so would be admitting that you KNOW what wine in a box tastes like. EEEWWWWW! /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
wtywmn4: I am forced to do these things to save my family from certain shame and humiliation. I am, after all, the only one of us who knows the difference between a cabernet and a cabaret, between pinot noir and peanut butter. I MUST save them from themselves!! /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif
As for the death of the thread ... well, it was doomed from the start. I mean, really ... "Question for Merry" indeed. Now, if it had been "Question for Beezer" we would never have arrived at this sad juncture. /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif
Feb. 25, 2001, 04:21 PM
I meant to say "This wine tastes like what I would imagine wine in a box tastes like, if I drank wine in a box, which I don't. Honest. I don't."
(Please, please take me under your magnanimous wing, Beezer. I'm struggling here, in my new environs on the west coast. . . . I go down to places like Lido Isle in Newport Beach, and, God as my witness, I have no idea how to converse with these people. I think it is just b/c it is a weird blend of people who have money with people who don't have money, but I'm not sure. Either way, the social nuances are killing me.) (They aren't actually killing me - I smile a lot and say "oh, yes. Uh huh, uh huh." But I still believe I can learn from you, Beezer, the hierophant of social graces!) /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Feb. 25, 2001, 05:46 PM
Elizabeth: I know what you mean, usually I just say "that's nice" which is a euphemism for a rather derogatory phase that many of us refer to as speaking French. As in "Pardon my French"
But I know what you mean, Newport is a amalgam of the well to do's and the neer do wells along with others...
Not to change the subject at the wake...I remember the Merry thread refering to Edgar Pagan. But i don't recall what. Can any of you (still virtually sober)give me any info???
Feb. 25, 2001, 06:45 PM
LOL Beezer we may be different but we share a common love of prime rib and garlic mashed. While y'all are huddling with your tequila, make room for a fun lovin' Canadian and her 2-4 of Blue??
Feb. 25, 2001, 07:55 PM
So it was a bird feeder that I poured the Margaritas into? Well the cats are happy and so are the mice because all the cats are to tipsy to catch them.
Feb. 25, 2001, 08:06 PM
That explains why the mice were having a dance party in the driveway. Geepers, 26 mice doing a line dance is kind of funny.
Luckily, Beezer's JRT are not very skilled at catching mice, though many JRT are. Beezer, buddy, your guys are. . . well. . . a little portly, wouldn't you say? (I'll bet Aunt Merry slips them Koi when you are not looking.)
[This message was edited by elizabeth on Feb. 25, 2001 at 10:13 PM.]
Feb. 25, 2001, 08:33 PM
I'll have some Pinot Grigio with that too please.
Mmmm mmmmmm. That sure is yummy!! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Feb. 25, 2001, 10:53 PM
Don't even get me started on the portly Jack Russells my sister, Beezer, owns. Do you know that every Christmas I get them some sort of costume or doggy blanket, and I immediately have to ah, make "alterations" knowing full well ahead of time that the garments aren't going to be, uhm, "generous enough" in the girth? /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif So keep them the heck away from the buffet table!
As for the wine, hey, I was raised on vintage homemade "wine coolers": Mogen-David and 7UP! /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif
"Now, about Edgar Pagan," Merry says, noticeably getting ready to dish some gossip, as she yanks off her muddied muckers, "all I can tell you is that we sold one of our smashingly attractive Trakehners to one of his clients. A faaaabbbbuluous black gelding, darling."
Merry readjusts her cashmere sweater, which is becoming a bit ripe from a combination of raw fish juices and brown, manure-tainted water. She then continues. "Anyway, we sold the gelding to an amateur lady. Quite an attractive woman. Very 'Newport' in appearance, I might add. A tad 'busty' was what my father noted, but I digress. Unfortunately this woman was also the prototypical 'soccer mom', so she handed off her 'rusty stirrup/amateur adult hunter' to Edgar, who promptly turned the horse into a preliminary jumper. I'll say that when and if the lady reclaims her horse, she'll have no trouble making the height in the Adult Amateurs!"
Merry realizes that perhaps the last batch of koi had spent too much time swimming in water now mainly composed of run-off from the paddocks. The sushi seems to have a definite acidic aftertaste... She considers opening up a carton of Mrs. Paul's frozen fishsticks and wonders if anyone will think such an offering would be crass...
Feb. 25, 2001, 11:38 PM
After too many Rusty margaritas and a vintage bottle of Annie Green Springs, "Is that a good thing or a bad...I mean to turn the horse into a jumper...or does that imply he doesn't understand hunters...or....as she drifts dreamily into a achol induced haze.... /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif
Feb. 25, 2001, 11:56 PM
I would guess, Suave, my old chum, old pal, that Edgar does mostly jumpers. But then, that might be a good thing for your Lexi mare, although if I could only come up with the money I'd buy her myself. Hmmmm... wonder what the life insurance policy was on the Merry Thread? /infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif
As Merry walks, er, staggers over to make one last pass at the artichoke dip, she waves to the band to begin one more rendition of "Suavecito" in honor of her bestest new-found bud, Suave Reno. And then she stands atop the table (stepping into the tray of crab puffs, unfortunately) and makes this announcement: /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
"Tomorrow morning, I shall make a phone call to Hailey, Idaho, and attempt to gain the answer to dear coreene's apocalyptic question:
"WHATEVER HAPPENED TO KIMMIE MC DONALD AND DOES SHE STILL RIDE?" /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
Feb. 26, 2001, 12:10 AM
By the way, the Canadians are making enough idle chitchat to inch toward double-digits on their mock-Merry thread. We must at least make an even dozen pages on our Funeral/Wake thread!
Canada: What went wrong? /infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif
Feb. 26, 2001, 07:04 AM
We're very determined. What's for breakfast?
Feb. 26, 2001, 07:27 AM
Canada: What went wrong? /infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif
ROTFLMAO!!! Right up there with:
Canadian as: possible under the circumstances! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif
Feb. 26, 2001, 07:34 AM
Merry get those shoes OUT of the crab puffs. Lordy, the manure you just added! Beezer, come GET HER. She is now ensconced with cheap wine/whine...And pleeeeease, get that sweater to the cleaners, UGH! Can you not behave even for a wake? I know you were raised better than that /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif
Feb. 26, 2001, 07:43 AM
Sadly, elizabeth picks at the crab puffs, looking for pieces that have not been stepped on. "These were my favorite." She then sets off to look for the Mrs. Paul's fishcakes. "Those are my other favorite."
Merry, wtywmn4 is right. I'm beginning to think that maybe you ARE Italian Catholic. Rowdy at wakes, drinking too much, reminiscing sloppily . . . . Are you going to pick a fight with someone, thereby confirming my suspicion?
Feb. 26, 2001, 09:23 AM
Merry how could you step in the crab cakes. /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
ANd elizabeth has taken the last few fish cakes from Mrs. Pauls what are we to do?
We could BBQ the Koi sauce should take care of the after taste from the run off. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Feb. 26, 2001, 09:55 AM
Apparently in my bitter sorrow for not receiveing any inheritence, and then given a Typo Circuit as consolation, I decided to drown my sorrows in the drink of choice. I must have been passed out for some time now because Monday Morning I log on and have missed 5 pages of posts! Well, lucky for you all, I am back...but with a major headache. I am thinking I'll just go back to sleep. Wake me up when it stops raining and my life can return back to normal.
Feb. 26, 2001, 10:01 AM
VineyRidge makes herself a shot of Wild Turkey 101 mixed with Southern Comfort, sneaks in the back door of the wake and begins to eulogize the dear departed "Question to Merry" Thread..
Although I never participated in the Thread's life, just knowing it was there made so many gloomy winter days bright. I'd log into the BB, and straightaway check on the Thread's wellbeing. It was a real pleasure to vicariously participate as strangers became friends, family members squabbled, and the age old conundrums of rain, PMS and men were addressed with civility and humor. The good fellowship exhibited made my total ignorance of all things Californian of little consequence.
The change in format was a terrible blow, as one could get trapped on the interior pages of the thread with no way back to the index from the top of an inadvertently reopened page.
The new format, though, didn't seem to deter the thread and its adherents. Onward, ever onward, in the spirit of comradeship, the California clique became a corporate body, with its own life, dishing gossip, finding connections, playing the old Southern Game "Who do you know?".
What made the thread special was its unfailing good humor. Never once was the Thread's life threatened by non-adherence to COTH rules. Never once was the Thread mangled by administrative intervention. Unlike some upstart threads, the Merry Thread never resorted to off subject jokes and riddles to fuel its existence. It grew organically because it NEEDED to grow.
And so, from a sad lurker, I wish the thread "Godspeed."
And hope that the California Clique will start another, ASAP.
Weeping gently, VineyRidge slinks out the back way and leaves the clique to its sad duty.
Feb. 26, 2001, 10:01 AM
Merry and I probably both did it, but yesterday I did ask Melinda and Weatherford to kill the other thread. Elizabeth, don't worry, you had nothing to do with it! Like another favorite Mary - the Mary Tyler Moore show - this Merry Show had to end.
I would have said this earlier, but I just crawled out from under a table at the wake, having drank far too many margaritas...
Feb. 26, 2001, 10:08 AM
Something seems to smell a bit.... ripe.
I suppose one could blame sushi, or terriers, but that certain "je ne sais quoi" is a bit quoier by the casket.
Feb. 26, 2001, 10:17 AM
elizabeth, elated at being vindicated, yet finally overwhelmed by the indignation she has suffered, climbs up onto the buffet table, stepping smack-dap in the middle of the artichoke dip. JRT go flying.
"You are darn tooting right I had nothing to do with it," elizabeth shouts, as the crowd silences, stunned at the outburst from the otherwise demur elizabeth. "I want an apology from those who were TACKY about giving ME a hard time about daring (DARING) to suggest (IN TEASING, for Pete's sake) that the thread has run its course. YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE! Tacky. De classe! Kind of like wearing black stockings DURING THE DAY!! Be woman enough to appologize!!"
coreene quietly steps up to elizabeth, gives her a little squeeze, and hands her a margarita. Elizabeth raises the glass to her lips, with a shakey hand, and waits for the passion to subside.
Thanks, coreene, for setting the record straight. I'm not going to lie to you, though. As well as I try to hide it, I still harbor resentment toward those less-perceptive types who raged (raged, for the love of Pete) at me for trying to close the thread. /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif I'll be alright - my new affirmation is "it's them, not me." /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif
O.k., now where were we? Oh, yes, Merry was going to change out of her cashmere into her leopard print unitard and re-join us. Oh, and, Beezer was going to go out to attach the JRTs to the hot walker to burn off the artichoke dip. . . .
I sent my Rottie over full of foul fumes(the pork chili, and sauce, and raw sea urchin was too much for the hose we were trying to start a fire with to handle)!!!
Feb. 26, 2001, 10:19 AM
...suggests calling pinkdot.com for liquor reinforcements, since she and Elizabeth are about to finish off the margaritas.
Feb. 26, 2001, 10:24 AM
Now, I must sign off b/c I have to go take the bar exam. I'm staying at a hotel in Pomona for the next three days. I am not bringing my laptop with me b/c cannot be distracted.
When the priest comes to give the little prayer thing at the wake, please ask him to pray for me.
Feb. 26, 2001, 10:29 AM
What the heck is Bob McDonald doing living in bleepin' Idaho, anyway?
As for the lack of food, Merry stares wistfully out the kitchen window and spies the tan, fluffy pygmy goat that has served as the orphan filly's companion for a year now... Hmmm. The filly doesn't really need a companion any longer... That goat is looking pretty 'ripe on the vine'...
Beezer realizes that Merry is toying with the idea of goat shiskabobs as she traces the blade of the chef's knife in her hand...
Feb. 26, 2001, 10:34 AM
I am back with more Margarita Fixins! What is this pink.com? You mean I didn't have to sober up to drive to the liquor store. The Margaritas could hve been delivered. /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif Oh well there are some fresh Margaritas, girls we might have to switch to another beverage for a little while, the blender appears to be over heating.
Elizabeth we will definately have the priest say a few prayers for you. I am trying to find out who the Patron Saint of the CA Bar examine is. So we can also say prayers to him/her.
Good luck with your teat we hope to heart from you soon.
Feb. 26, 2001, 10:36 AM
When I left on Friday, the wake was just beginning.
Here it is Monday morning, and it looks as though it has been a wild weekend with no end in sight.
I'd like to suggest just the right beverage to go with the sushi and Ms. Paul's fishsticks. Place one raw, cold oyster in a martini glass. Pour warm sake (saki?) all the way to the top of the glass. Drink your oyster shooter all in one "sip". Yum. Repeat as needed.
Heck, even if the sushi's all gone, you can just make do with the oyster shooters.
Feb. 26, 2001, 11:06 AM
We must be careful about having so many adult beverages around elizabeth's hubby, Bill. I see on the news that William Shatner has opened sort of a halfway house for women struggling to become clean and sober, in honor of his dearly departed former wife. elizabeth, you did marry someone with a heart after all. However, did you also have to marry someone who insists on examining each of my warmbloods and asking, "So, is this one a Saddlebred?" /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif
Just then there's a knock at the door. An anonymous gift-giver has left on the doorstep an extra large pizza topped with.... CANADIAN BACON!
Feb. 26, 2001, 11:40 AM
Put that down Merry. You have to share it!! My word, leave for an instant, the pizza's almost gone! Of course the wake is still going. Good grief, they usually last for a week. Where have you people been, priceline.com?
So since we now have direct delivery, and Merry has finally changed out of that sweater, continue on.
Beezer, Elizabeth tell the preacher to please get out of the casket!! Enough, it is not a couch.
Feb. 26, 2001, 12:15 PM
People! Beezer is feeling just a tad run ragged from trying to keep tabs on all of you! But first, she must say a gracious "thank you" to Vineyridge (since Merry -- where ARE your manners, woman?? -- did not see fit ... or perhaps she is so plowed she cannot see anything at all) for her kind words about the dearly departed. Made me all teary-eyed.
Elizabeth, dear, it would seem to me that given your proven knowledge of alcholic beverages, that you have ALREADY passed the state bar exam. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif But we nonetheless send a collective kiss of luck.
Merry! Step away from that goat. Just because YOU are allergic to her is no reason to resort to violence. Just go kill some more koi. You'll feel better.
BTW, can someone please ask the Canadian club to send some Mounties along with that bacon and beer? Now THAT would be make a fine party ... er, wake. /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif
Feb. 26, 2001, 12:47 PM
Stop all the clocks, cut off the telephone,
Prevent the dog from barking with a juicy bone,
Silence the pianos and with muffled drum
Bring out the coffin, let the mourners come.
Let aeroplanes circle moaning overhead
Scribbling on the sky the message He Is Dead.
Put crepe bows round the white necks of public doves,
Let the traffic policemen wear black cotton gloves.
He was my North, my South, my East and West.
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song;
I thought that love would last forever; I was wrong.
The stars are not wanted now: put out every one;
Pack up the moon and dismantle the sun;
Pour away the ocean and sweep up the wood;
For nothing now can ever come to any good.
-- W. H. Auden
Feb. 26, 2001, 01:01 PM
Time for you to step away from the margaritas, methinks. For from your post, I worry that you have developed an, ahem, affinity for something of Elizabeth's that rightfully now belongs to Bill ... at the very least, the alcohol is going to your typing fingers. /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif
But thanks for the laugh. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Feb. 26, 2001, 01:19 PM
Rusty: In terms of the good luck wishes. Which teat were you referring to, the right or the left?
I never passed the Bar exam but I tended it /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif
Feb. 26, 2001, 02:03 PM
I now have in my hands a copy of the coroner's report.
It seems the thread did not die of natural causes. Rather, it was..... MURDERED. And someone at this wake knows precisely how! /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
Feb. 26, 2001, 02:08 PM
I'll take Colonel Mustard in the billards room with a wrench...
Feb. 26, 2001, 02:24 PM
Nah-uh! It was Ms Scarlett in the kitchen with a lead pipe!
Feb. 26, 2001, 02:52 PM
/infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif Spelling and typing were never my strong points. But after a few pitchers of Margaritas ???
For new comers to the wake the embarassing typo has been corrected. Beezer thank you for you editing skills, or more than just a few of us would know how really bad my typing is.
Well back to the blender. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Feb. 26, 2001, 02:54 PM
COLONEL MUSTARD in the HACK & WHACK!!!
Feb. 26, 2001, 02:54 PM
COLONEL MUSTARD in the HACK & WHACK!!!
(I'd make a George joke here, but it would be in poor taste - wearing Flame Suit now)
Feb. 26, 2001, 02:59 PM
My vote is for Merry in the Arena with a dead Koi!
Feb. 26, 2001, 03:08 PM
You beat me to it!! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Feb. 26, 2001, 03:10 PM
No no, says she dryly. Not Merry, her fairly stable state has collapsed. Beezer we all ask? So quiet, yet contradicting at times. Who, oh who could have whacked that poor thread?
And you thought this would be an easy death, (she says smiling)
Call the pizza guy, get the drinks flowing, it's gonna be a long nite....AND stay away from that poor pygmy goat!! Goatkabobs don't set well with sushi. /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif
Feb. 26, 2001, 03:41 PM
It was Merry in the tack room with the latest edition of Typo Circuit! /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif
Feb. 26, 2001, 04:00 PM
While the California gang and friends have been into eat, drink, and frolic, the "Ask Canter" topic disappeared from the Board. Who has the magic to do that? /infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif
And, not only did the "Ask Merry" topic go from a 5-star to a 4-star before being locked, but this one did too. Did the Canadians do that to us in retaliation for their topic disappearing? However, perhaps 4 stars is more attention getting than 5 as it shows that we have a little humility, something the rest of the country doesn't attribute to Californians /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Please pass the bean dip and I'll take a refill of my Margarita. Thanks.
Feb. 26, 2001, 04:11 PM
Having been sitting quietly in the corner overwhelmed with grief, I will suggest the same thing I suggested to the Canadians shouting "California conspiracy" for the dissappearance of their thread. Don't they know fish (koi) is brain food?
Feb. 26, 2001, 04:13 PM
By the way, while we give the blender a rest, how about serving a little "Canadian Club" over ice? LOTS OF ICE!
Feb. 26, 2001, 04:47 PM
To The Canadians: NEENER, NEENER, NEENER -- your thread is gone, LONG live our thread!
To Elizabeth: How did I not know you were studying for the Ca bar exam????? How could I not tell by the time you have devoted to this board????? Girl! You go study!!!! That is one mutha of a test! In July of '86 only 28% passed (she says modestly, knowing that she was one of the chosen 28%...) I could not dream of getting on the 'Net right before the bar exam! You IRAC them answers! You tort those torts! And you contract them that Civil Procedures! And never forget that the "long gray beard" is ALWAYS important.
Good Luck to you!
Feb. 26, 2001, 04:55 PM
So, I hear a thread is missing???? /infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif
As I posted on "Who Nuked Our Thread?" I have an iron-clad alibi. I think it was elizabeth! Notice how she conveniently ran off to take the bar exam...?
As for the pygmy goat getting a reprieve, yeah, I AM allergic to it, imagine that! Touch the darn thing, or touch my clothes after I've handled it and I break out in hives. (Beezer, somehow, finds this terribly amusing). I may not "hack and whack" the Canter thread, but the goat...
The preacher now climbs out of the coffin and, bleary-eyed, stumbles toward the beverage table and scans the area, looking for a cup of strong, black coffee. As he starts to pick up one mug of steaming Joe, Pam yells out, "Not that one, Reverend! Beezer's Jack Russell uhm, er, relieved himself in that cup!"
"Oh no!" Merry finally cries out, breaking down totally. "This wake is turning into a complete charade! Has no one any dignity?"
Feb. 26, 2001, 05:57 PM
Merry, put down the knife and walk away from the goat. WALK AWAY! (And, yes, Beezer admits that she finds it HYSTERICAL that Merry is allergic to the goat -- particularly since Merry is the one who always wants to "catch and pet" the goat. Of course, Merry failed to mention that she is also allergic to cows. She has a whole livestock-aversion thing going on. /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif )
Besides, Merry ... that cheap wine you insisted on buying really does not go with goat.
I think we need to send our soused minister over to the Canadians' thread. It seems in need of divine intervention.
OK. Who gave my Jack Russells a bath in the punch bowl. Katey, it was YOUR kids, wasn't it?!?!?
Feb. 26, 2001, 06:02 PM
The Rate It button at the bottom of the page is responsible for the ratings. The Canadians had five stars, and I gave them a 1. Their rating dropped to 4.
So vote early and vote often. We, the posters, control the stars.
Feb. 26, 2001, 06:04 PM
Y'see the thread was just hanging around doing nothing and so I took it and made this costume. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Feb. 26, 2001, 07:22 PM
Beezer looks around her in disgust. "People! Crawl out from under the table! We cannot let the misery of the Canadians -- what with their disappearing thread -- threaten the gaiety of our celebration of our coat's (and it IS a coat, we have rethreaded it so many times) life.
"Buck up! (There's a horsie phrase to keep the moderators at bay. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif ) If it means letting Merry dance around in her purple sports bra again, so be it. If it means letting Rusty get a little, ahem, close to Elizabeth, such is life. I'll even allow Suave's decked-out horse attend. Must I let the JRTs wrassle with Bill again to get this place hopping??"
Feb. 26, 2001, 07:34 PM
When will this wake end???? I have had so many of Rusty's margarita's that I am starting to play with my scanner. Thanks for kindly indulging me and not speaking too loud. BTW, whose JRT is chewing up the picture of Mellisa Cardenas /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif
Feb. 26, 2001, 10:50 PM
Is it Bill's toupe that the JRTs are playing tug o war with?
I must make more Margaritas, I must make more Margaritas. That is my new mantra along with my secodary new mantra I must proof read my posts. I must proof read my posts. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Feb. 26, 2001, 11:50 PM
I've just returned from razzing the Canadians. Me thinks this will just rile them onward to more posts. So be it. What else do they have to do up there? /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif
Suave, love the Halloween costume on Cosmo. Must've been the Orange County show, eh? I say, bring forth the costumed children and their horses and ponies. Let's liven up the place. When they're finished, let's bring on the Mounties for some REAL entertainment.
Then Merry lapses into a near stupor. No one knows that she is secretly recalling her days in the Trakehner drill team, where she and her friends dressed up in Canadian Mountie regalia and performed a musical routine. Hmmm... why did the costumes look so authentic? Why did Merry seem to capture the real "feel" of Mountie-dom? Why did Merry always seem to have a smile on her face throughout the ah, performance? /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
I say we hatch a plan to corrupt the minds of the entire army of Canadian Mounties! They can "ride for our side". It's time we conquer the Great White North! Am I crazy or just filled with grief?
[This message was edited by Merry on Feb. 27, 2001 at 02:04 AM.]
Feb. 27, 2001, 05:52 AM
Every picture endears him more to me. What a great horse! And the kid's cute too!
Kryswyn surveys the carnage of the food table and snatches a chicken wing from Beezer's JRT who growls. Kryswyn growls back saying in Dog ' don't mess w/ me Bucko, I've got 13 of you at home." But to be fair, Kryswyn offers an only slightly wilted carrot stick in trade. The JR, unable to understand something for nothing trots away happily down the table, stopping only to mark in an unattended punch cup. Kryswyn then turns to the Anna Nicole Smith look alike with short hair and says,
Yo, Merry, did you ever get through to Bob McDonald in Idaho? Waasssssup with Kimmie? And who is she when she's at home anyway?
Feb. 27, 2001, 06:35 AM
Merry's back, all hail or is that hell? I am so proud of you, we can corrupt those northern exposures. Hmmm putting our heads together. Oh stop with the goat, now pay attention...Where are those Margaritas? Oh lord the preacher just fell, no it was one of Beezer's JR's that pulled him over. Aren't they trained yet? Yeah gads!!
Blaming us poor Califorians for their demise. Its that cold weather, it tends to freeze the little grey cells. Don't they know we love to come up for Spruce?
Feb. 27, 2001, 10:31 AM
...staggers in from the kitchen and announces that the alcohol reinforcements are coming up the driveway just as she speaks. And a catering friend has whipped up a little snackage since the dip is low.
Feb. 27, 2001, 10:52 AM
Merry slams down the phone yet once again: "Everytime I call Idaho I get Bob's answering machine. I believe he always thought me a tad... "tightly wound". The last thing I want to do is leave an obscure message that we're having a funeral at the Chronicle and we want to know what happened to his grown daughter." /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif
You know, I thought it was my shoes that were beginning to emit an odor, what with my tramping out to the koi pond periodically. But now I realize it's the Merry Thread corpse. Isn't it about time we throw the coffin into our Circle J trailer and haul it out to the cemetary and bury the darn thing? /infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif
Feb. 27, 2001, 11:47 AM
We need protection from the Canadians. Heidi has just wandered into our wake and thrown down one of those heavy leather glove thingies with a smelly wool lining ... "Take that!" she said. "We will take down your star rating several pegs!!"
The evidence is there. She has detailed her evil ploy on "their" Nuked thread.
Beezer, being the most competitive of this wet, bedraggled and increasingly soused lot, cannot back away from such a challenge ... neigh, INSULT. So she asks her fellow wake-sters ... Keep our star rating up! Down with theirs! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Feb. 27, 2001, 11:54 AM
The only stars I'm seeing are from my hangover. Or perhaps from being clomped on the head by the remains of the ice sculpture. This occurred when rusty collapsed on the buffet table after slipping in a pool of spilled margarita mix.
Now, how do we corrupt the Canadian Mounties? Lure them over the border with offerings of food that don't contain cured flesh or organ meats? Temperatures below the freezing mark? Guaranteeing them that they can actually experience what it's like to have tan lines?
Feb. 27, 2001, 12:01 PM
...begins looking longingly at a lampshade and starts whispering to assembled bodies that perhaps it's time to go on a trail ride.
Feb. 27, 2001, 12:37 PM
I think its time we hijack their horses with all of them aboard. I don't think I have ever seen so many HOT, STRAIGHT, ENGLISH riding men in one place! Wowzers! /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
Feb. 27, 2001, 12:45 PM
You really HAVE been drinking too much if you're even contemplating going for a trail ride. It's raining again ... WILL IT NEVER END??? ... and with all that mud out there, why, you and your horse would just be sucked right into the middle of the earth!
Chef ... ah, the Mounties. We must go and fetch us some. Perhaps on the way (so, OK, it would be a little out of the way, but who cares at this point?), we can stop in at Bob's and just in person ask the great, unanswerable question.
All together now: Whatever happened to Kimmie McDonald and did she keep riding?? /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Feb. 27, 2001, 01:04 PM
The mounties may come and go but Cosmo's a keeper (the child too as a matter of fact)
"Do the mounties really exist?" exclaimed SuaveReno at the Anna Nicole Smith lookalike. "We'll I'm going to go up dere and get me some..." staggering to standup SuaveReno pulls out a yellow photograph of JJ Smith in his heyday before any of us realized he had an alternative lifestyle. She then pages through her wallet only to find another old print c1968 of her once teen crush Kenny Nordstrom less 60lbs or so. "d'ya shink they have does guys up dere dat look like dem?" she slurrs to Coreene and Kryswyn
/infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
Feb. 27, 2001, 02:01 PM
...hangs on to SuaveReno's arm to keep from falling into the punch bowl and whispers that one of the waiters from the catering company she called in for reinforcements is a real cutie patootie and begins making (crossed) eyes at him.
[This message was edited by coreene on Feb. 27, 2001 at 04:12 PM.]
Feb. 27, 2001, 02:28 PM
I didn't mean to topple the ice sculpture on you. I am such a klutz. I will go make more Margaritas since I spilled the last batch. I am making all these Margaritas to practice my bar tending skills, because one of the few things a person can do in this weather is drink. We certainly can't ride. It is to wet and cold (60s).
Feb. 27, 2001, 03:01 PM
Corene, for crying out loud, let the man go! I know he's cute and hmmm look at that bode. But we have work to do! Enough, we're being sabatoged by Canooks!! Down to 3 stars, how degrading.
Okay, who broke the blender? It was brand spanking new. Road trip to Target, send Rusty. The only person with some semblence of order. Don't run any lights either. Let's put our heads together,UGH oh my that glove has a rank smell. Must be all the motor oil and kerosene. Phew, a little cod oozing in. Beginning to smell like Merry's sweater.
Has anyone tried Bob at Indio? Please for Merry's sake let's get that out of the way. You ate all the dip? No crab puffs, ice scupture demolished, dip gone, what are we coming too?
Feb. 27, 2001, 03:23 PM
Sigh. Someone get Bill's rug away from the JRTs. They are trying to bury it (now that they've killed it) in Merry's discarded, SMELLY cashmere sweater.
While rusty's out getting a new blender, tell her we need more ice. Coreene and Beezer are going to try to make their own ice sculpture of Clifford, rental horse extraordinaire. And then we're gonna put a Mountie on him. /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif
Feb. 27, 2001, 03:49 PM
rusty, don't forget take the keys to the truck. And stop at the 7-11 on the way back. We need ice. You may want to drop the preacher off, he's looking a little, well, better than he did, but....
Beezer, the hair piece unfortunately is in bad shape. The dogs just ripped it to shreds. We need a burial for it too! OMG** Merry is advancing on the goat again. Someone quick, call for take out!! coreene, please dear, let him go! I know, I know, he is truly cute. (a big sigh) As with all wakes, it just takes time....
Feb. 27, 2001, 04:40 PM
with a BIG grin and her blouse done up on the wrong buttons. Will not remember this at a later date, but is laughing right now. Calls Carving Ice in Fullerton and asks for a Clifford-like ice horse to be brought over ASAP.
Then, somehow, gets on the computer and puts in a raging order for more drink, again, at pinkdot.com, also known as pdquick.com. Throws in a few party platters, some chips and lossa Alka Seltzer, too.
Feb. 27, 2001, 04:57 PM
Heidi is sending a goose for the wake. (Read Beezer's Noah thread to find out why) Pate', anyone? /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Feb. 27, 2001, 05:09 PM
That's right, and if my councilwoman doesn't pull through (I didn't vote for her /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif ), I'll send sumo toddler out to sit on an unsuspecting and earthbound goose. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Think of it as a peace offering between the Canadian and Californian cliques and your full acknowledgement that we are, in fact, vastly and infinitely superior to you. /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif You do know what they say about Canadians who come bearing gifts, don't you? /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Feb. 27, 2001, 05:27 PM
Where the heck is Elizabeth with that tort?? We ordered a chocolate one, yes? Who knew it would take her DAYS??!?
Feb. 27, 2001, 06:46 PM
I see it's a STUFFED Canadian goose. What the heck is it stuffed with?
You know, I must point out that I NEVER drink alcohol at all. Beezer can vouch for this. I used to enjoy a Mai Tai every Friday night at the Howard Johnson's across the street from Disneyland when I got off work from my stressful day as a ride operator /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif . But then, I've told you about the "dancing on the tabletops" episode, so you can understand why I don't do drinks anymore. So the fact that I'm tipsy at this gathering just shows how torn up I am over the death of the Thread. /infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif
Feb. 27, 2001, 06:57 PM
I bought 2 new blenders, in case we break another one we will have a spare. Since I was driving the truck I just hitched the Ice cooler from outside the 7-11 to it that way I won'' have to leave my grieving friends again. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif Dropped the preacher off at the first church that I saw. I hope it is the correct one.
I will make more Margaritas now. /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif
Feb. 27, 2001, 07:02 PM
rusty, you mean that place on the corner? That wasn't a church! It was the city library. /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif
Feb. 27, 2001, 07:44 PM
And you should have SEEN the look on the dear librarian's face when he ... well ... never mind. It was kinda ugly. /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
Feb. 27, 2001, 10:26 PM
When he... what? Announced that he was Canadian??? /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
Feb. 27, 2001, 10:33 PM
Suave, where were you hiding that one? /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Beezer, looks to me like poor elizabeth didn't pass her bar exam. /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif
Feb. 27, 2001, 11:20 PM
What can I say I got lost and he was getting on my nerves. He is lucky that he is a man of the cloth or things could have gotten Really ugly.
Feb. 28, 2001, 12:06 AM
Trying to sober up...Now I am sitting reading the "ill and injured" section of an old HORSES magazine and saw a reference to Melissa Cardenas as being the daughter of a "famous Las Vegas magician". Now who could that be /infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif
Feb. 28, 2001, 12:17 AM
with a tray full of tequila shots. Who needs lime? Salt?
I missed the fun of the Question for Merry thread, but who can pass up a good wake? And besides, I have this great black suit I have just been dying to wear...
Be careful! I'll hand you the shots...everyone got their salt, shot, and lime?? ok, on three everyone....
Feb. 28, 2001, 06:15 AM
Oh my Zaboo, you look, well almost over dressed. We do like your offering!! Thank you rusty for getting the preacher to a new location. He was becoming a wee bit much! Love bringing back the entire ice machine,what a brain storm. Now we won't have any more excuses. coreene, do up your blouse, trust me we will all remind you of your exploits. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif When are those refreshments coming?
Stuffed goose??? Why that's nothing more than one of the dog's toys? Heidi?????
Feb. 28, 2001, 08:59 AM
Suave, actually he is/ was a very famous juggler!! Still living in Vegas from what I understand. What else did the article say? Inquireing (sp?) minds want to know (well, atleast mine does)! Do tell!! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Feb. 28, 2001, 10:29 AM
In fact, I dare say I cannot name a single famous juggler! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
What did Melissa's father "juggle"? Careers? Multiple wives?
I'm sorry, I just find this so humorous. Must be the bacteria-infested koi sandwiches going to my brain.
Feb. 28, 2001, 11:33 AM
Beezer gently pulls Merry aside and whispers, "I think I have figured out the problem with your competing memories of Emmett Kelly. You've just had a little too much of that wine cooler. You're merely seeing TWO Emmett Kellys. It's a common problem with people at wakes."
Feb. 28, 2001, 01:27 PM
Coreene, seeing everyone in triplicate, suggests a rowdy trip for all at the wake to Cook's Corner for a little honky tonk.
Feb. 28, 2001, 02:52 PM
Rent the limo, we're there!! Off to Cooks corner. Now what's this about juggling??? Don't tell me one of our illustrious guests has tried to juggle the glasses again. /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif Those are Beezer's good Romanian crystal goblets..Behave, no get into the limo, pleeeease??
Feb. 28, 2001, 02:59 PM
And Merry, get the steak knife away from mother's weird black Labrador. (Belated memo to wake-sters: Watch out for the crazy Labrador. He has a fondness for steak knifes. He will chase people with them. Frankly, I think he has just learned that he needs protection from the JRTs.)
Now, give me a moment here. I've got to get more of that wine in a box into the carafes....
Feb. 28, 2001, 05:53 PM
Wait! Isn't Cook's Corners that Hells Angels hang-out on the back side of O'Neill Park, the old way to Coto de Caza? /infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif
We want to go there... why???
Okay, not to resurrect the thread, but since we're all climbing into a limo and we need some chit-chat, who all has either A) rented horses at the rental stable in O'Neill Park, or B) shown/trained at Coto de Caza in the past or lately? Show of hands!
Feb. 28, 2001, 06:16 PM
Says Beezer groggily, for the effects of the wake are beginning to show. "One of my favorite places ever since the 'real' Beezer pulled down the cook shack trying to -- and succeeding in -- snagging a donut while the cyber-Beezer's back was turned...."
It was also the scene of Beezer's (that would be cyber-Beezer's) first teenage-hormone-induced crush. On Mike Kennedy. Anyone remember him?? And if you do and he looks anything like he used to ... HANDS OFF! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Feb. 28, 2001, 07:44 PM
The door flies open....AAJumper, just in from Mammoth, still clad in ski boots and powder suit, enters the room and whips off her goggles. She scans the room looking for The Merry Thread. Just then she smells a horrid stench and her eyes lock on the casket. She sees the thread, a chain around it's neck to confirm it's death. A tear forms and slowly drips down her cheek, mixing with the snow melting off her Turtle Fur hat.
I knew when I left that the thread was dying, but I just didn't think it would go this soon....
A small sob escapes from AAJumper's throat......her eyes glaze over as the reality of the thread's death sinks in. Just then, she spots Rusty with a fresh batch of margaritas, and any thoughts of the thread quickly escape her mind.....
Feb. 28, 2001, 08:47 PM
Hope the skiing was grand. But you could've saved the money and just gone mud-skiing with one of the baby warmbloods out in Merry's koi pond! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
"Now give me a second here. At this point in the celebration, getting this wine in a box into the carafes requires a lot of concentration ... the ol' hand-eye coordination is beginning to go."
BTW, if and when Elizabeth finds her way back from the bar TO the bar, give her my regards. And please tell her to save me a piece of that chocolate tort she made. /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif
Feb. 28, 2001, 09:15 PM
Well Beezer, it was hard work skiing that fresh powder, but someone's gotta do it. As for Merry's pond...well, waterskiing season is just around the corner...maybe it's time to break out the ol' ski. Lemme see.....AAJumper digs around in her closet.... yup, got my ski, life vest, gloves....who's gonna hold up the flag? Beezer, toss me the rope. You all set up there Merry?
Feb. 28, 2001, 10:39 PM
I'll hold the flag while making more Margaritas.
The arenas might as well be used for something these days and water skiing is about the only sport the are good for. Although mine has been used for mud skiing lately.
How does one Mud Ski? /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif
First you put a lounge line on a horse thast has been couped up for a few days. Then take it to a muddy arena and attempt to lounge it. The skiing is faster with out any forms of control execpt a halter. Stud chains, bitting rigs and side rains tend to slow one down. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Feb. 28, 2001, 11:00 PM
I'm tellin' ya, a famous Mexican juggler! Does'nt this story get more and more interesting?
Well, now that AAJumper is back, I must depart. For three weeks infact, but not to ski, Oh no.. I'm off to Barbados!! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif
Keep searching Suave, for more on MCJ.
Ciao for now. (and don't hate me because i get to escape this awful weather...just pray that my plane does'nt crashI'm
always so afraid of that) /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
Feb. 28, 2001, 11:50 PM
All I kept thinking about was Sigfried and Roy. Which one do you think it was??? HORSES didn't say...
SuaveReno staggers to the door "I'm off to the Rockies in search of Mounties, may I bring anyone anything before I go????" /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif
Mar. 1, 2001, 02:41 AM
Am I the only one still "awake" here?
Mar. 1, 2001, 06:29 AM
Ahhh rusty, it looks as if we're falling apart. The Lab has taken off in the general direction of Beezer's pygmy!! This may get ugly..A/AJumper welcome back, you know we saved some of, ahem, Merry's boxed wine for you. But the margaritas are grand, rusty got a new blender and zowee /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif So, since we now know Cook's is an angel's hangout, hmmmm, this might be very interesting dahlin.
Hey, where are one of Merry's babies? We could long line him with the snowboard behind and hit the Koi pond?? A/A will you do the honor? Lordy, me thinks it was that last batch of margi's. Phew, haven't done things like this since a teen. As she quietly toodles off, looking for the snowboard....... /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
Mar. 1, 2001, 07:54 AM
wtymn4 have you found the snow board yet? It sounds like it is going to be loads of fun.
Mar. 1, 2001, 08:32 AM
Good-morning, fellow mourners! I hear skiing in the arena is on the activity agenda. The horse of choice for this is Beezer's retired old jumper mare. She's a big, old-style Trakehner, as in "broad of beam, big of bone". Plus, before she was a jumper she was a combined driving horse, so she really, really knows how to pull. She's real four-wheel drive animal. So I'll put the long lines on her and she'll give you a tow around the arena.
Mar. 1, 2001, 10:18 AM
Merry, this place is hysterical. Never one to do on the weekends, but a scream otherwise. OTT Americana.
Mar. 1, 2001, 03:41 PM
Aha, we're ready, old snowboard. Merry's mare, what a nice girl she is. A little on the plump side, tho. But aren't we all after this wake? /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif Okay lets let her rip. Good lord, look at that rooster tail of mud? Hang on A/A..Geez that girl's got moxie. Oops, oh well there goes some of the Koi. You know Beezer, with the Lab chasing her, this could become exciting. And what is up with that knife? OMG, there's something glarey in my eyes....What is that?
Mar. 1, 2001, 03:41 PM
With the thread becoming more ripe by the moment (the unexpected sun isn't helping) don't you think we better start our preparation for taking the thread to it's chosen final resting place? That is, of course, when the skiing is finished /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Mar. 1, 2001, 03:43 PM
As I paged through the topics looking for this one, I found that it had dropped to page 2! This is unacceptable but perhaps understandable. By now everyone must either be sky high or suffering the mother of all hangovers /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
We must either keep this going or switch our allegiance to the currently appropriate Noah topic.
Mar. 1, 2001, 07:21 PM
Merry is beside herself with grief. Coreene comforts her. Beezer has gone off to chase her Jack Russells, who are out chasing the labradors who are out chasing the orphan filly who is chasing the pygmy goat...
The pallbearers line up to hoist the Thread's coffin into the hearse. rusty, AAJumper, and Suave Reno go to one side. There's a sudden lurch and it looks like the coffin is about to take a header, spilling pages of BB gossip all over the driveway, but dublin, just a lurker and Mo take up the other side and hoist the coffin into the hearse.
"Oh, weeble," Merry sobs, "it's so hard to say good-bye! What if we had only kept it on life support a little longer? Might we have had a thread so long that the darn Canadians would never catch us?"
Chanda and Chef think it only polite to set down their slices of cheesecake to comfort Merry.
PamM climbs behind the wheel of the hearse and guns the engine.
"Let's make tracks to the cemetery!" she cries, and the hearse is off... /infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif
Mar. 1, 2001, 07:22 PM
Based on my engineering calculations, the predominantly CA clique threads seem to grow in proportion to the amount of rainfall! Thus, the appearance of that odd yellow object in the sky = CA clique threads falling to page 2. /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
But hey, what better way to celebrate the sunshine than mud skiing? It's warm out and time to trade in the rain gear for a bathing suit!
AAJumper hops off the snowboard after skiing 3 laps around the koi pond. Covered in mud and pieces of Koi, she exclaims "come on in, the water's fine!!!" She then pulls out the beach chair, dons the Hobie sunglasses, and plops down.
Toss me a Corona, wytwmn4, please! Oh, okay, I guess I'll have to do with Merry's boxed wine. It doesn't go well with these chips and salsa though. What??? The thread still hasn't been buried? I was wondering what that stench was!!!
Just then, AAJumper hears the thundering of dog paws coming towards her. She glances behind her beach chair just in time to see a giant black lab thundering towards her with a knife..... /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
Mar. 1, 2001, 07:26 PM
"AAJumper, stop skiing and climb in my truck. Tell wymmn to stop already with the margaritas. We've got to make it to the cemetary and say some final words."
Mar. 1, 2001, 07:34 PM
Please don't put my Blenders in the casket. I can't live with out my blenders. It isn't fair to take the hearse away when it is my turn to ski. (there is no smilie face for whining /infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif ) Its just not Fair.
Mar. 1, 2001, 07:46 PM
"Rusty, put your blenders down, their use has already caused another Stage 3 Power Alert. Get in the truck with Merry and take your "whine" with you, she can be your designated driver."
The hearse with the thread begins to pull away, followed by the vehicle carrying the Canadian Mountie honor guard.
Mar. 1, 2001, 08:17 PM
I'm <<wheeze>> back with the <<gasp>> tort. It's . . . chocolate.
Mar. 1, 2001, 08:32 PM
Merry leans out the driver's window and calls to elizabeth, who's climbing in the bed of the pickup. "So, how'd the test go?"
By the way, did you know your hubby Bill is hosting the Miss USA pageant? /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
Mar. 1, 2001, 08:41 PM
"ehhhh," elizabeth groans as she hoists herself into the pickup truck bed, pushing the tort along in front of her, "sh*t, I got chocolate on my face. oh well, my face is riddled with stress-caused blemishes anyway."
Oh, so, the bar exam. . . Yeah. . . it kicked my a#&. 'Nuff said.
Day one was ugly - ugly, I say. They were trying to suck my will to survive. But I made it through, I went home, I studied in the hotel like a pathetic college freshman, and then I was back at 'em again on Wednesday. Oh, they gave me their best stuff on Wednesday. 200 multiple choice. Yeah, 200 - six hours worth. And I'm not gonna lie - some of them were tricky. They were jumpin' out of bushes, shooting at me. Then when I was down, they were kicking me in the ribs.
And I missed mass, too. It was freakn' Ash Wednesday. But someone must have gone to mass on my behalf b/c today's exam was a gift from God. It was three essay on my favorite subjects and one big essay asking me to write a closing argument. Heck, I love closing arguments. Sometimes I just give closing arguments for the fun of it. In the shower. Or in my car. Or in the middle of an all-attorney meeting at work. I digress.
"HEY - SLOW DOWN UP THERE. This tort is sliding all over . . . . Does anyone mind if I take my shirt off? I've been wearing it for days now. . . ."
Yeah, Bill has been doing his own thing. I told him he was smothering me. I needed space.
Mar. 1, 2001, 08:54 PM
rusty flings paper plates ala frisbee style to elizabeth so she can dish up the chocolate tort(e). I mean, shouldn't we eat it before we get to the cemetary?
So, can we guess what the essay questions were? Hmmm... "You've been counsel on a very long, involved case with many witnesses. How do you wind it down? How do you bring it to a dignified end? How do you keep the Canadians from buying off the jury?" /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Pardon my ignorance, but when will you know if you passed?
Mar. 1, 2001, 09:21 PM
Elizabeth taking her shirt off? One of the Mounties leave the honor guard? Oh, sorry, that was during the wake, not the funeral procession. /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif
Mar. 1, 2001, 09:23 PM
ohhh, honor guards.
i guess smacking my lips is inappropriate behavior for someone soon to be admitted to the bar. . . .
Mar. 1, 2001, 09:31 PM
Ha-whoopee! Should we pull the truck over and celebrate?
The hearse approaches the graveside. Pam parks the vehicle and the pallbearers gather at the back of the long white hearse.
Does anyone want to say any final parting words? Make it snappy, because I'm headed to the annual tent sale at Mary's Tack in Del Mar at the crack of dawn! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Mar. 1, 2001, 09:32 PM
It worked for William Jefferson Clinton. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
(Did I really say that?)
Mar. 1, 2001, 09:34 PM
Obviously, Merry has passed into the next stage of grief...shopping! /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
Mar. 1, 2001, 10:01 PM
No, this is not how we are going to end things.
I'm Italian - we need to weep at the gravesite for hours, saying things like "What am I gonna do without you."
As to the tack sale, well, you can just hitch back. I'm staying here with the truck.
Mar. 1, 2001, 10:50 PM
AAJumper stumbles out of the back of Merry's truck, eyes glazed over. The snowskiing, mudskiing, and ravenous gulping of margaritas was just a poor attempt to put off the inevitable lowering of the casket. Now sober and ready to face a new life without the thread, she ponders the Mary's sale, thinking "hmmmm....Cypress sure would look sharp next week in a new Edgewood bridle......"
Congrats Elizabeth, on making it through the exam alive! I still remember the horrors of taking the civil engineering license exam for two days at the Pomona fairgrounds. When I went there for the Equine Affair the other weekend, I was having flashbacks!!! /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
Mar. 1, 2001, 10:54 PM
don't forget the other time honored Italian graveside tradition of blaming all the other members of the family (BB) for the death of the thread. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Mar. 2, 2001, 06:57 AM
Off to a little mud boarding, and we are now at the final end, sob! Heaving a big sigh, she hauls her mud splattered body, into the back of the truck. Weeble, where are we going? Is it true, the sun is finally back? rusty, can we bronze the blenders, in memoriam? Merry, Beezer, A/A, coreene, chanda and of course dear elizabeth...is this it then? /infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif
Mar. 2, 2001, 09:23 AM
You are, of course, right. But I don't have it in me to blame anyone.
I think I need to bring in the Italian half of my family to mourn and fight with each other. Do you know, will the after-funeral lunch be catered or will it be at Merry's house, pot luck?
<<Sniff>> Thread, I never got to know you well, but I will miss you just the same. Of course, given that the heidi thread is kicking our respective a@@es at 24 pages, I guess you will soon be forgotten. Well, you were a good thread. A good thread.
[This message was edited by Erin on Mar. 02, 2001 at 12:34 PM.]
Mar. 2, 2001, 09:41 AM
Poor thread, don't worry, in your memory we will not be disheartened by the Heidi thread. After all, it's quality over quantity. You brought us subjects of substance and merit. Like show bows, people from the '70's, and the opinion that John French is good enough to ride a camel at Indio and still win. What has that thread got...thongs? Rottweilers? It can't hold a candle to you, old thread. Ahhhhhh...the memories. /infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif
Now about that after service lunch. Any koi left?
Mar. 2, 2001, 09:59 AM
Geeze elisabeth, you think you could be a little nicer to Bumpkin?
Sorry, but your last comment was pretty nasty, teasing or no teasing - give it a rest will you?
I saw that thread you were referring to, and it was just a misunderstanding - no need to dredge it up again. There are so many people here that not everyone has the same sense of humour as everyone else. For instance, if you're "joking" again here - I obviously am not on the same wave length because I don't see it.
Mar. 2, 2001, 10:39 AM
Invoking BB rule #2: "issues, not individuals."
I don't think swipes at other posters are really appropriate.
After all, we've all got to get along... /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif
Mar. 2, 2001, 11:01 AM
You are, of course, right. I just wish you were both there when she leapt on me.
I am assuming you both would have adressed her as you just adressed ME! I thought her post on my thread was inappropriate, Erin, and rude.
Erin, I wish you had said something *then.*
Everyone responded to the Thread Death in a very funny and light way. I think Bumpkin leapt without looking and thought there was a tenor other than jest. That is fine. That she did not apologize for her error is, however, not particularly nice. I am suprised she has not yet said "elizabeth, I didn't realize you were joking. Now I do. I'm sorry."
I still hope she apologizes. It is not too late. I will then, in turn, apologize for harping on it. Were I a bigger person, not so offended by her and dublin, I would have let it go long ago and chalked it up to her imperception and ignorance. /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif
Mar. 2, 2001, 11:49 AM
Elizabeth, really... just drop it. The forum is not the place to discuss others. If you have a problem, address it to a moderator in personal email.
Someone had a problem with what you posted, you had a problem with what they posted, everyone got a chance to gripe, and now it's time to move on.
I'm not going to tell anyone they have to apologize. Now, let's all be adults and drop it, rather than continuing to rag people for ONE post a week after the fact.
Now, look, we've gone and shocked the revelers at the wake into silence. I haven't been paying attention... is this an Irish wake by any chance? Is there any Bushmills handy? /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif
[This message was edited by Erin on Mar. 02, 2001 at 03:36 PM.]
Mar. 2, 2001, 04:02 PM
To break this up a little bit (yes I do spy on you guys from the Canadian border) here's something in honour of the weekend /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
The 5 Stages of Drunkenness
Stage 1 - SMART This is when you suddenly become an expert on every subject in the known universe. You know you know everything and you want to pass on your knowledge to anyone who will listen. At this stage you are
always RIGHT. And of course, the person you are talking to is very WRONG. This makes for an interesting argument when both parties are SMART.
Stage 2 - GOOD LOOKING
This is when you realize that you are the BEST LOOKING person in the entire bar and that people fancy you. You can go up to a perfect stranger knowing they fancy you and really want to talk to you. Bear in mind that you are still SMART, so you can talk to this person about any subject under the sun.
Stage 3 - RICH
This is when you suddenly become the richest person in the world. You can buy drinks for the entire bar because you have an armored truck full of money parked behind the bar. You can also make bets at this stage, because of course you're still SMART, so naturally, you will win all your bets. It doesn't matter how much you bet 'cos you are RICH. You will also buy drinks for everyone that you fancy, because you are now the BEST LOOKING person in the world.
Stage 4 - BULLET PROOF
You are now ready to pick fights with anyone and everyone, especially those with whom you have been betting or arguing. This is because nothing can hurt you. At this point you can also go up to the partners of the people who you fancy and challenge them to a battle of the wits or money. You have no fear of losing this battle, because you are smart, you're RICH and Hell, you're better looking than them anyway!
Stage 5 - INVISIBLE
This is the final stage of Drunkenness. at this point you can do anything, because NO ONE CAN SEE YOU, You dance on a table to impress the people who you fancy because the rest of the people in the room cannot see you. You are also invisible to the person who wants to fight you. You can walk through the streets singing at the top of your lungs because no one can see or hear you and because you're still SMART you know ALL the words.
Mar. 2, 2001, 04:55 PM
Are you suggesting that some of the attendees at the wake have reached some of those latter stages? /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif
Mar. 2, 2001, 05:04 PM
Have you ever heard Larry Miller's comedy bit, The Five Stages of Drinking?? One of the funniest comedy monologs ever.... /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
It's 11:00 on a weeknight, you've had a few beers. You get up to leave because you have work the next day and one of your friends buys another round. One of your UNEMPLOYED friends. Here at level one you think to yourself, "Oh come on, this is silly, why as long as I get seven hours of sleep, I'm cool."
It's midnight. You've had a few more beers. You've just spent 20 minutes arguing against artificial turf. You get up to leave again, but at level two, a little devil appears on your shoulder. And now you're thinking, "Hey! I'm out with my friends! What am I working for anyway? These are the good times! Besides, as long as I get five hours sleep, I'm cool."
One in the morning. You've abandoned beer for tequila. You've just spent 20 minutes arguing FOR artificial turf. And now you're thinking, "Our waitress is the most beautiful woman I've ever seen!" At level 3, you love the world. On the way to the bathroom you buy a drink for the stranger at the end of the bar just because you like his face. You get drinking fantasies (like, "Hey fellas, if we bought our own bar, we could live together forever. We could do it. Tommy, you could cook.") But at level three, that devil is a little bit bigger.....and he's buying. And you're thinking "Oh, come on, come on now. As long as I get three hours sleep....and a complete change of blood, I'm cool."
Two in the morning. And the devil is bartending. For last call, you ordered a bottle of rum and a Coke. You ARE artificial turf! This time on your way to the bathroom, you punch the stranger at the end of the bar. Just because you don't like his face! And now you're thinking, "Our busboy is the best looking man I've ever seen." You and your friends decide to leave, right after you get thrown out, and one of you knows an....after hours bar. And here, at level four, you actually think to yourself, "Well....as long as I'm only going to get a few hours sleep anyway, I may as well.....STAY UP ALL NIGHT!!!! Yeah! That'd be good for me. I don't mind going to that board meeting looking like Keith Richards. Yeah, I'll turn that around, make it work for me. And besides as long as I get 31 hours sleep tomorrow.....cool."
Five in the morning. After unsuccessfully trying to get your money back at the tattoo parlor ("But I don't even know anybody named Ruby!!!"), you and your friends wind up across the state line in a bar with guys who have been in prison as recently....as that morning. It's the kind of place where even the devil is going, "Uh, I gotta turn in. I gotta be in Hell at nine. I've got that brunch with Hitler, I can't miss that." At this point, you're all drinking some kind of thick blue liquor, like something from a Klingon wedding. A waitress with fresh stitches comes over, and you think to yourself, "Someday I'm gonna marry that girl!!" One of your friends stands up and screams, "WE'RE DRIVIN' TO FLORIDA!!! - and passes out. You crawl outside for air, and then you hit the worst part of level five - the sun. You weren't expecting that, were you? You never do. You walk out of a bar in daylight, and you see people on their way to work, or jogging. And they look at you - and they know. And they say...."Who's Ruby?". Let's be honest, if you're 19 and you stay up all night, it's like a victory - like you've beat the night. But if you're over 30, then that sun is like God's flashlight. We all say the same prayer then, "I swear, I will never do this again as long as I live!" And some of us have that little addition, "....and this time, I mean it."
Even better, you can download it off Napster (but better do it tonight, I read they are shutting down over the weekend) /infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif
[This message was edited by dublin on Mar. 02, 2001 at 07:32 PM.]
[This message was edited by dublin on Mar. 02, 2001 at 07:38 PM.]
[This message was edited by dublin on Mar. 02, 2001 at 08:05 PM.]
Mar. 2, 2001, 05:12 PM
NOOOOOOO!!!! Napster, don't leave us now!!!!! Stupid people shutting it down /infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif
Mar. 2, 2001, 08:27 PM
Don't mind the fact that I've set down three large, bright blue plastic Mary's bags behind the headstone. Since Beezer is at home, secreting away her purchases so her hubby can't find them, I'll begin the service by saying that, although the Canadians may indeed surpass our thread in length, it cannot possibly surpass ours in quality or spirit. I mean, we researched answers to questions (psychic hotline). We ferreted out the backgrounds of former local trainers (FBI files and private investigators). We dished on horse show celebrities (The National Enquirer). Our thread STOOD for something... what exactly escapes me right now, but I'm sure it'll come to me soon. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Mar. 2, 2001, 08:32 PM
sure you may think your thread had more substance than ours but we are the riddle queens!!!! HA!
Mar. 2, 2001, 08:55 PM
You must be 'cause no one's really sure what that means. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Mar. 2, 2001, 10:34 PM
We must go some where after the burial, because it is starting to rain again.
We all need to examine the purchases from the tack sale. Not all of us were fortunate enough to go shopping at Mary's. Due to time and distance. /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif
Mar. 3, 2001, 07:49 AM
Ah Merry, well said. Now, what did you buy? You know we cannot leave this gravesite without a peek.
Tin, I think we have hit #5 invisible, /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif Now, we do need a place to go and lay in the sun!!! IT'S OUT AT LAST!!!
Mar. 3, 2001, 08:52 AM
It is now revealed that Merry is not crying at all. She purposely smeared her mascara just for effect. Now, with a joyous expression, she dismisses the gravesite with a sweeping hand gesture and strolls over to her Mary's shopping bags... /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Let's see: I got a pair of TS Supreme Hunter breeches (the fabric feels so nice and it's a much lighter, non-brassy green color), a black nylon halter and lead for my Hammie (the obnoxious four yr. old), a pair of stirrup pads /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif , a new show crop with which to spank the obnoxious Hammie, a pair of Heidi boots with floofy sheepskin lining to cuddle Hammie's legs, and a rubber curry-thingie.
I almost bought but put back: two show shirts, a pair of crochet-back gloves and a pair of horsey print knee socks. Now Beezer, on the other hand, bought three pair of riding pants, a polo shirt, and heaven knows what else. I believe it was 3 times she snapped at me, "We drove all the way down here and all you're buying is a nylon halter and a pair of pants?!?" /infopop/emoticons/icon_mad.gif
Interesting note: Once again, as in year's past, there was a line of newly annointed Horse Show Moms with their respective daughters in tow who were there to purchase show clothes. I love how the salespeople just steer them toward the newest, brightest, most trendy items. One poor woman just came with a list from the trainer. The HSM thought basic, dark green or navy was a suitable color, but nooooooo. The trainer said the daughter HAD to have a tan or light tweed coat. And of course, those were the most fashionable ones, and hence $400. I couldn't help but whisper to the mom, "I must point out that in two years those really light-colored coats will probably be out of style. Are you sure you want to spend $400 on something your daughter's going to wear, oh, maybe a dozen times?"
Now you see, that's the sort of off-handed comment that got me in trouble with Scary Kentucky Woman at Equine Affaire! /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif
Mar. 3, 2001, 09:55 AM
I'm always shocked when I go into the local saddlery and see the new HSMs with their daughter buying up the store. There have been times when I've seen them at the counter with the works: saddle, bridle, girth, pads, boots, and every grooming accessory known to man, etc. etc. And the jealously steps in, as I remember scraping enough money together (money earned at Target, or should I say Tar-jay to buy one piece of tack at a time, and borrowing the rest from my trainer. I was so happy when I finally had everything I needed....and about that time each thing slowly needed replacing, one by one! /infopop/emoticons/icon_mad.gif
Merry, I agree with you about the TS Supreme Hunter breeches...aren't they great? /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif I love the feel of the fabric, and the fit is way better. I could not find a pair of the 2 way stretch pants that actually would fit my waist and my thighs! Oh, and the 4 way are truely stretchy...I can vouch for that! A few years ago, the first time I wore my first pair of TS's, I fell off onto a jump cup. My thigh needed 10 stitches, but nothing happened to the TS's! Even the massive blood stains came out after much soaking in cold water!!! /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif
Mar. 3, 2001, 02:16 PM
Wow, some how this discussion has come full circle: death, funeral, blood stains! How cosmic! /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif
Mar. 3, 2001, 05:08 PM
A NYLON halter???????????
Mar. 3, 2001, 07:00 PM
Nylon doesn't mildew as much in the rain forest we are all living in right now. /infopop/emoticons/icon_mad.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif
[This message was edited by rusty on Mar. 03, 2001 at 11:42 PM.]
Mar. 3, 2001, 07:23 PM
Hey, I have an entire collection of leather halters, thank you very much! Some I've won (actually they're the cheapest quality), and a couple are show halters for shipping and ornamentation. I mean, geez, Pam, this is California! I don't wear a hairnet in my lessons, either. Don't tell me that upsets you, too, LOL!
As for nylon, no, it doesn't mildew. Plus, it comes in such purdy colors, too! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
By the way, dublin, we're supposed to get 3-5 inches of rain in 24 hours. Now, which stage of Larry Miller's "bit" do I want to be in now? /infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif
Mar. 3, 2001, 07:29 PM
We didn't have to bury the thread, it could have just floated away. /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
Mar. 3, 2001, 07:33 PM
Merry, I think PamM is thinking about safety. I really can't put words in her mouth, but I'll bet she hopes there is at least a leather crown piece on any halter used for turnout. Even a freakout in the crossties, when in a nylon halter, can be rather serious.
However, all of us suffering through the several wet winters since El Nino, then La Nina, now supposedly nothing out of the ordinary but certainly not what we're used to, know exactly where you're coming from! /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif The sunglasses are wishful thinking /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif
Mar. 3, 2001, 07:44 PM
How is it that a weather system that has the power to wipe out entire towns and change the global climate is called the equivilent of "the child"? Wouldn't "The Mother@#$%er" be more apropos? Really... could a four year old put CA where it probably should be (geographically speaking and taking fault lines into account- no offense intended!)- in the ocean? Methinks not. /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif
Mar. 3, 2001, 07:57 PM
Why not go for the whole enchilada, so to speak....all 5 stages!! Better you drown your sorrows, than to have the rain drown you.... /infopop/emoticons/icon_wink.gif
Mar. 3, 2001, 08:02 PM
You don't mean to tell me that I'm the only huntseat person in Calif. to use nylon halters? Oh, come now, "out yourselves"! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
We don't turn-out our horses in them (especially now, since our turn-out is a koi pond/rice paddy). And we don't even have cross-ties... or a hitching post, for that matter! We tack up in the stall. Yes, we take "backyarders" to a new level, and proudly, I might add! /infopop/emoticons/icon_smile.gif
Hey, is this morphing into a funeral for springtime weather?
Mar. 3, 2001, 08:22 PM
The crowd of nylon halter users anonymous chants in unison "Hi Michelle".....
In fact, our whole barn has matching nylon halters in the barn colors (black w/burgundy overlay), and each is monogrammed w/the horse's name. But we don't use them for turnouts...they are taken off for that. Our crossties are actually held with a piece of baling string so that if a horse pulls hard, it breaks. I know this because my old horse was a confirmed cross-tie breaker since way back when. He had a few good strolls around the property, and especially enjoyed being chased. So we stopped chasing him when he got loose (the property is fully fenced) and he lost his enthusiasm for that game.
But about that weather....UGH! /infopop/emoticons/icon_mad.gif It's supposed to rain three days straight, even in Indio!!! At least I got to jump Cypress today over several jumps in a row...she was a wild thing! If she doesn't mellow a little by Thursday, the rails will be flyin'!!!
AAJumper joins Merry in the mourning of our beautiful So.CA sunny weather. Will this onslaught of rain ever end???
Mar. 3, 2001, 08:42 PM
And now, a brief poetic interlude mourning our California climate...
My poppies bloomed,
The tulips riz,
I wonder where
The sunshine is.
I muck my pens,
I feed my koi
My trench-diggin' hoe
Is my favorite toy.
My tan is gone,
My lip gloss froze
I've noticed frostbite
On my toes.
A sheen of moss
Grows on my ring
Will I ever hear
The blue jays sing?
Shows are cancelled
Due to storms.
Will I still recognize
My boots reek of mud,
Muck and pizz.
I'm asking God
Where the sunshine is?
Composed in a state of utter madness, 3/3/01 /infopop/emoticons/icon_frown.gif
Mar. 3, 2001, 08:46 PM
Merry! You have way too much time on your hands if you could write that poem! J/K! Good poem!
Mar. 3, 2001, 08:50 PM
Hmmmm...could this lovely poetry be Merry's attempt to procrasinate, what with that 48 hour deadline on her TB article approaching? /infopop/emoticons/icon_razz.gif Just kiddin' Merry....love the poem!!! /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Mar. 3, 2001, 08:50 PM
Kipling ...Merry. Browning...Merry. Whitman...Merry. Nope can't tell the difference.
A classic is still a classic. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
As far as nylon halters go, have a ton of them. But mine get turned out sans halter, they just come in when they're called. /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif
Mar. 3, 2001, 09:01 PM
Kipling...Merry. Browning...Merry. Whitman...Merry. Nope there isn't much difference. A classic is still a classic. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
As far as nylon halters go, own a ton of 'em. But the horses get turned out sans halters, they just come in when they're called. /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif
Mar. 3, 2001, 09:03 PM
How did that happen? /infopop/emoticons/icon_confused.gif
Mar. 3, 2001, 09:12 PM
I've had that happened before....I clicked on the Post Now button, and immediately realized I wanted to change something. So I click the Stop button on my browser, and it appears nothing has been transmitted yet. But low and behold, my post ends up on the thread.
Mar. 3, 2001, 09:53 PM
Disgusted with the horrid weather, and inspired by Jimmy Buffet, AAJumper stands in Merry's truckbed and begins to sing off-key:
Waitress I need two more boat drinks.
Then I'm headin' south 'fore my dream shrinks.
I gotta go where it's warm.
Can we move the post burial gathering to somewhere tropical....say, Cabo San Lucas??? Or Mazatlan?
Rusty rushes over to the truck to hand AAJumper a strawberry margarita, hoping to distract her from belting out yet another song... this time Margaritaville....
Mar. 3, 2001, 11:54 PM
Yes, why is it, AAJumper, that I cannot simply click over to Microsoft Word and start writing? I must come here first? I can see it'll be another night where I'm here, missing the opening of Saturday Night Live!
Merry guns the truck as the whole group caravans away from the cemetary. Heck, no one wanted to dwell here anyway. dublin and weeble suggest stopping by a tanning salon just so we can all remember what it's like to feel some UV rays. But rusty and Pam instead lead the way to the local El Torrito. "Chips, guacamole and MORE margaritas, anyone?" rusty yells.
AAJumper decides that this may be one of her last meals before departing for Indio. She has now decided that HITS doesn't stand for "horse shows in the sun" but rather "Howdy! It's Thunder Storming!"
Mar. 4, 2001, 09:18 AM
Rusty agrees with AAjumper that we need to move the gathering to some were tropical. We are from CA we need warm weather.
Tropical with a beach and we can put the nylon halters on our horses and ride in the surf. Just like when we were Jrs.
More Margaritas any one? The second blender did not get put in to the casket. /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif
Mar. 4, 2001, 11:26 AM
We're going to Maui in two weeks -- I'm looking forward to escaping this miserable weather! /infopop/emoticons/icon_cool.gif
(It's pouring outside as I write this,ARRRGGG...)
Mar. 4, 2001, 04:36 PM
Yup, I got up at 6:00 so I could "do" the horses before the rain hit, but it's not raining yet... so I guess I could've ridden! /infopop/emoticons/icon_mad.gif
I just keep scratching potential shows off my calendar. I try to imagine what it would've been like, attending a horse show: the sun, the friends, the food stands, the long wait between rounds in the baby greens, the port-o-potties... /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif
Mar. 4, 2001, 04:51 PM
LOL Merry...I like the new title for HITS. Or maybe they should rename it to HITM...Horse Shows in the Mud. I hear that is what it is like at Indio after it rains. Mud, mud and more mud. I was thinking about taking Cypress down there today, but it is supposed to rain down there too, so there would be no point. Instead, we'll go Wednesday as planned. At least I go to ride this morning, pack my trunk, and load up hay into my truck before the rain hit!
AAJumper hears the crack of thunder and feels the first drops of rain. She grabs the big blue tarp in the back of Merry's truck and Rusty helps to unfold it, covering those riding in the back. The big El Torrito sign looms up ahead, like a homing beacon. "Will this weather EVER end?", she cries out, in misery. Her hopes of escaping the horrid rain fade quickly, as she checks the weather forecast...rain on Tuesday and Wednesday, in the desert no less!!!
Mar. 4, 2001, 05:57 PM
I can only imagine the mud at Indio in the rain! Last year I slopped around in 80degree heat because the guys in the water trucks were a tad over-zealous. And the area where I--- I mean my groom---- washed my horse was abominable by the middle of week one! So maybe you should take scuba equipment?
Just think how handy RUST breeches would be in muddy surroundings!
Merry punches it and the truck pulls into the El Torrito parking lot. The group has arrived. Merry is so delighted that she's finished both halves of her Thoroughbred article that she yells out to all the patrons inside, "A round of chalupas for everyone, on me!" /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
It is then that she realizes she left her cash at home, and El Torrito doesn't take checks. But oh, wait... she happens to have Beezer's credit card in her back pocket... /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
Mar. 4, 2001, 06:04 PM
I finally made it to the wake and have, in true inimitable fashion, brought an entourage of guests.
Stop peering at the withered and decayed flesh of the thread, have a gander at this.
Mar. 4, 2001, 10:00 PM
Oh, speaking of the mud in Indio, my poor friend fell off into the mud there this past week! /infopop/emoticons/icon_redface.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif Poor thing! Hmmmm...I'll have to stop by Sport Chalet on my way out to Indio and look into renting that scuba gear....at least some fins and goggles...
AAJumper prompts fellow gatherers into standing ovation for Merry and the completion of her article. Actually, they are hoping that she will be so honored by the ovation, that she will spring for another round of chalupas. After all, it is Beezer's credit card. AAJumper orders a plate of nachos with extra guacamole...she figures that if this weather continues, she will need that extra layer of blubber to keep her warm....
Mar. 5, 2001, 08:14 AM
Yes another round of Chalupas, we might as well hang out in the EL TOrito. At least it isn't raining inside the restraunt. /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Mar. 5, 2001, 08:23 AM
Having just snapped (sort of) out of a rain-soaked stupor, Weeble orders another margarita and asks the obvious question...have you all been in the rain so long that El Torito now qualifies as a tropical locale? And how did Heidi get here, is the Canter thread too boring? /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Mar. 5, 2001, 08:46 AM
I go away, sans page 11 and we have a new life! Merry has opened her shopping bags, hmmmmm. Being partial to nylon myself, you know, throw it into the washer, voila!! Especially when one's horse is a wallowing hippo. Leather just doesn't wash well. Your shopping is admiralable.
El Torrito??? Merry your steering must have locked up on you. Well, hopefully the Margaritas are good. Chalupas all around..where is that dog when you need him.
Mar. 5, 2001, 09:58 AM
Or is he awaiting dublin in Maui?
Don't tell me that's you and chunky child alongside him? Are Canadians allowed to get out in the sun like that? Don't you melt or burn when exposed to UV rays? /infopop/emoticons/icon_biggrin.gif
Ah yes, AAJumper, guac' and chips for everyone! 'Avocadoes: the green gold of California'... or is that manure?
While passing around a plate of the fresh nachos, Merry poses this question: So, what's your worst rain-related horsey horror story?
Mar. 5, 2001, 10:07 AM
Expessive orthopedic shoes on my old school horse sucked off as soon as he ventured in to the black lagoon (arena).
Horse laying down and wallowing in the arena with saddle on with starteled student looking on. WHen said horse figures out she is in trouble, she rolls all the way over 3 times. SHe figures allready in deep doo doo might as well go for it. /infopop/emoticons/icon_mad.gif /infopop/emoticons/icon_eek.gif
SHe is still with us because the saddle tree did not break. That is the one good thing about mud it has some give to it.
Mar. 5, 2001, 12:24 PM
Hm. So THAT'S where that credit card got to! And here I thought I'd just burned it up at the Mary's sale....
Don't even get me started on Merry's purchases at Mary's (Alex, I'll take "Names that sound alike but mean such very different things" for $300). She is FAMOUS for planning a big shopping outing, gathering up so many products that the salespeople are all salivating and then ... putting it all back. /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif
Sorry to be late ... I ate so much mud on my last round of mud-boarding that I just had to go get cleaned up. Ponying frisky warmbloods ... the NEW Olympic sport!
Mar. 5, 2001, 03:38 PM
How about the horse that gets a shampoo to remove said mud and muck, including a conditioner in mane and tail, and then upon returning to paddock, prompty rolls anew in the mud and muck? /infopop/emoticons/icon_rolleyes.gif